Chapter 16
Kasik knew he was losing his mind when he heard Nina’s voice in his sleep. Then he felt her hands on him, and he groaned.
Seeing her terror, hands reaching for him, so close but so far, had been bad enough, but now he was being tormented with something
he could never have. Could never want.
It was a product of his circumstances. How many times could one surrender their life for another before they began to feel
attached? Her soft eyes and her strength and stubbornness had crawled under his skin and made him feel more alive than ever.
Funny that it had led him right to death’s door.
Though he knew he was alive, he wasn’t sure for how much longer. His pulse flickered lightly in his neck and wrists and his
consciousness wavered between defeat and determination. In the simplest of words, he was exhausted. It seemed that everything
was fighting against him.
A simple mission, the emperor had said. Collect the girl and deliver her unharmed, but fate had stepped in and ruined all his plans.
The longer he was away from the kancha and his duties, the less sure he was about said plans. Why Nina? Why did Maicu want
her so badly, so much so that he was willing to upend all his plans to acquire her? The friend he had known was calm and calculated,
but the version of him that was the emperor was unfamiliar. Reckless. Dangerous.
What would happen when Kasik failed?
It didn’t seem to be a matter of if anymore. The wounds on his back had begun to fester before Nina had the chance to clean them. He could feel the burn flow through his blood. Poison, perhaps, but it mattered little when the result was the same. Death was calling his name.
And Nina would never be free. Some part of him knew that if he didn’t bring her in, it would be someone else. Someone much
less forgiving and much more ruthless. Wherever his tayta was, he would hear of his son’s failures, and he would take it upon
himself to ensure that their family name was restored.
They would hunt her down. When Maicu set his sights on something, it didn’t matter what he had to do to obtain it, and if
he found these people who had interrupted his plans, he would remove them from his path just as he had Rumi.
It was Rumi, the emperor’s elder brother, who was the heir to the throne, and it was Maicu who had slit his throat as they
beheld their tayta take his last breath. Kasik could remember the blood flowing down the front of Rumi’s tunic, the sheer
and utter panic that had flooded Kasik’s body, thinking he was next. But Maicu had simply turned away from his brother’s crumpled
body and placed a hand on Kasik’s shoulder.
It had felt like an anchor tying them together. An irrepressible weight.
“It had to be done,” Maicu said, but his eyes were across the room, pinned to Kasik’s tayta, Atik, who nodded his head in approval. With pride.
Jealousy, hot and sharp, pierced Kasik’s heart. He was terrified to utter a word in disagreement, but Maicu knew him better
than his own tayta. They’d been friends since childhood, after all. They had been trained by Atik together. Scolded by Master Wara together.
Raided the kitchens together.
“You understand, don’t you, Kasik?” Maicu shifted so that both his hands were bracing his shoulders. Kasik could smell the
blood on them. “Rumi was weak. He couldn’t do what needed to be done to ensure that Tawantinsuyu continues to expand and thrive.
It’s Emperor Yachua’s legacy. It will be our blood that stamps out our enemies’.”
Maicu’s dead tayta lay not two arm’s lengths away. He had always been a formidable man, but even the sturdiest of them wasn’t immune to the
gods’ fate. A strange sickness had stolen his strength, then his life.
And now Maicu had stolen his seat.
“This is between us, yes? I need my friend by my side.”
Kasik stared into his eyes, and he hesitated.
“Kasik?”
“Kasik!”
Cool hands pressed against his cheeks, his neck, his arms. He heard her voice again like a whisper to soothe his aching soul.
Or perhaps it was a punishment for the secrets he had kept and the man he had become. Was he any different from his cruel
and cunning tayta?
Would his mamay be ashamed?
He couldn’t remember much of her—he had been so young when she died—but he heard what he imagined was her voice in his dreams
sometimes, reminding him to keep going, to keep trying.
It’s time to wake up, my love. Today is a new day and a new chance to be happy.
“Kasik! Please wake up!”
But Kasik didn’t want to wake up. He didn’t want to remember the pain or bear the responsibility any longer.
“I need you,” the voice whispered, so clearly that he thought it was his own voice pleading.
But he couldn’t decide who or what it was he needed, and if he cared enough to try and find out.