Chapter 29 #2
further. She took a step back, out of the grasp of his hands, and tried to rub away the memory of his touch. There was no
erasing the look he had given her when believing his tayta’s lies, or the words she had spat at them.
I will never forgive you for this.
It was a vow she felt deep in her bones, just like the vow she had given her sister by sacrificing herself.
“Empress,” Kasik said, the reverence in his voice clear, but he hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting to Nina and back
before he left the room.
Empress Chaska watched him go with a placid smile on her face. After he left, Nina stood rooted to her spot, unsure if she
was meant to bow or beseech, but it felt like conceding to her fear and this woman who held herself as though she was owed
everything she desired.
Instead, she held her stare, even as the empress tilted her head condescendingly and pursed her lips. The prongs of her circlet
glinted in the orange flames from the fire behind Nina. She imagined the kinds of marks they would leave on her skin if used
as a weapon.
Neither woman said anything as they stared at the other. Nina felt like she was being measured, and she was judging in return. She opened her mouth to speak, but the empress stopped her with a finger in the air.
The door opened again, and this time two servants walked in carrying trays. They placed them on the small table to Nina’s
right, bowed quickly, and then exited the room.
“There,” the empress said. “Now we may speak.”
Nina felt woefully ill-equipped for a conversation with this cunning woman. She was full of anger and resentment that clouded
her thoughts, but when she reached for the power that typically accompanied her anger, it was nowhere to be found.
“You will find,” the empress started as she pulled out a chair and sat before the tea and food, “that everyone within the
kancha grounds wears achillas to protect themselves. Emperor Maicu has prepared extensively for your arrival.”
She said all this as simply as if she were discussing the weather, while pouring tea at the same time. Nina stayed where she
was, hands clenched at her sides, feeling uncertain and slightly fearful. If the emperor was so well prepared, then how would
she kill him? Obviously, he wouldn’t allow her to simply remove his achillas and slip her fingers around his threads.
No, it would be much more complicated than that. Nina would have to plan and prepare as well.
“Come.” Empress Chaska gestured a hand to the cup in front of Nina’s seat. “Have tea with me.”
It wasn’t a request that Nina could choose to ignore, but she wasn’t sure her curiosity would have allowed her to.
“Drink,” she ordered, and Nina brought the cup to her lips, the steam caressing her face. The scent conjured hazy memories
of her time in the acllahuasi. She tried to put the cup down, but the empress’s fingers appeared at the bottom and pressed
it up.
“It will help,” she said gently, “to appear as if you are going along with the emperor’s plans. Your freedom depends upon it.”
Nina’s pulse pounded in her throat as she stared at the empress. Nina wished she could see her threads the way Shayim did,
filled with the knots that could be interpreted and known. Anything to help her navigate such a formidable, unknowable person.
But the threads at the center of Empress Chaska’s chest were blurred and unreachable, and Nina had to make a choice.
She gulped down the tea and waited for . . . something. The memory of drinking the tea at the acllahuasi was there, but it was difficult to remember exactly how it had made her feel. Almost like there was a thin layer of fog over it all. She looked at the bottom of the cup and saw
the leaves there, a muted green, but entirely green. No blackened, sharpened edges.
“Do you like it?” Chaska asked eagerly. “Master Wara brews it himself with Mamacoca leaves foraged from the Tuta Kulla.”
They looked like the same leaves her mamay would gather and brew over the small fire in the kitchen. “I do,” she said, and
she meant it. She still felt like herself, if maybe a bit more settled. Her thoughts went from calculated concern to calm
curiosity as she considered Empress Chaska’s words.
It could have meant that Nina’s freedom in the kancha and the marriage depended upon her compliance. It also could have meant
her freedom from this place altogether. But why would the empress help her?
She wouldn’t, Nina decided. This was another instance of Nina being too trusting, too hopeful. Whatever game Empress Chaska
was playing was beyond her experience.
The empress didn’t drink her tea, simply studied Nina and then smiled thinly. It didn’t reach her eyes, but Nina found that
it mattered little. The tea had given her a kind of clarity that she hadn’t expected.
“You will learn to function despite external factors,” the empress added. “Master Wara will share our history and guide you through the expectations you will face while here. There is much for you to learn.”
Nina held her eyes but said nothing. She was too busy trying to parse through her words and decipher the underlying meaning.
The empress leaned forward. “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked.
“I imagine you’ll do so regardless of my answer,” Nina said with a shrug.
The empress sat back and smiled, and this time, it looked genuine. “I didn’t come here to be who they wanted me to be. You
will find that there is a lot to gain as women in our position. We will not be so foolish as to mistake our true enemy.” Then
she rose from her chair and headed toward the door. When she pulled it open, Nina could see the back of a guard standing to
the side.
“Kasik,” the empress said. She placed a familiar hand on his shoulder. Nina’s cheeks burned watching the exchange. She caught
a glimpse of his face as he turned to her and spoke, the words too quiet for Nina to hear, and then the door was closed, and
she was alone again.
This time, the urge to pound and scream at the doors was fleeting, replaced with acceptance and impatience. She wondered if
Kasik had been standing outside earlier, listening to her cries yet doing nothing. That seemed to be a theme for him, but
she refused to give him, or anyone else, the satisfaction of hearing her beg ever again.
Once she could figure out how to reach her power, it was going to be them begging for her forgiveness. She just needed time, and as she considered her new home and what was expected of her, she assumed
she would have plenty of it.