Chapter 36 #2
mouth and tears from the corners of his eyes. He hadn’t realized he was crying until Chaska had said his name and his heart
had frozen in his chest thinking it was Nina. Hoping.
But it couldn’t have been, because she was with the emperor, and he was alone, as he was always alone.
“Come,” Chaska said softly, a hand on his arm. “Let’s clean you up.”
Kasik didn’t fight it when she tugged him into his room and sat him on his small bed. Much too small for him. The whole room,
really, but he was barely ever there unless he couldn’t help it. Like tonight, when he had felt like there was nowhere else
to go.
A moment later, Chaska was using a soft, wet cloth to clean the blood from his chin. He winced when she pressed against his jaw with her cold fingers.
Cold, because she had been outside, sneaking out of and back into the kancha she lived in. Perhaps visiting Samaq. Perhaps colluding with the kukuchi. Or, perhaps only to escape these walls and these people.
So many secrets. So many enemies. So many weak, spineless culprits.
Including him.
“Why did you offer to help Nina?” he asked quietly.
Chaska dipped the cloth into the bowl of water and then wrung it out. “I know what it’s like to be a woman in a world of men
who use us to meet their needs. Whatever those may be.”
Kasik thought of his mamay and wondered what needs she had met. How had she ended up with a man like Atik? He couldn’t imagine
there had been any benefit for her, any sacrifice that would have been worth her life in the end.
Unless she had loved him, and it was Atik who she had sacrificed herself for.
It was impossible to know the truth, and which version of it to trust. Especially when the person in front of him was lying
as she stood there, the fresh air clinging to her cloak.
“And your needs? What are you willing to do to see them met?”
A shadow passed over her eyes. Chaska calmly placed the cloth on the bedside table and took a step back. Her hands disappeared
into the sleeves of her cloak. “You forget who it is you speak to.”
“I do not, Empress Chaska. I am more aware than ever.”
“Now is not the time to waffle, Kasik. If there’s something you wish to say, then say it. Otherwise, leave the meeting of
needs to those of us who are willing to make the right choices.”
“I saw you,” Kasik spat out. He watched her brow furrow in the dim light and waited to say more.
“With Samaq in the yard all those weeks ago. And just now, you moved that wall with a hand. How? Where is it that you were going? Is Samaq out there?” He had halfway risen off his bed, his voice frantic even to his own ears.
Chaska stiffened and took a small step back, her eyes darting between his. “For someone as smart as you are, Kasik, you can
be very, very foolish.”
Then she took off, flinging the door open on her way out. Kasik caught it before it hit the wall and then followed her, ignoring
the throbbing in his face. “Explain it to me like I am a foolish boy, then.”
Chaska stopped and whirled around so suddenly that Kasik almost ran into her. “Do not do this here. You, of all people, should
know that he has eyes and ears everywhere.”
“I think you give him more credit than he deserves.”
Chaska only looked at him strangely, and then she laughed, and it was filled with anything but amusement. “You think I speak
of the emperor,” she finally said. “It is not him I give the credit.”
There was a moment in which Kasik considered turning away and ignoring whatever Chaska was about to say. It was none of his
concern, but it was Chaska’s hand that guided him back into his room and closed the door so quietly he barely heard it. “When
did you start paying attention to anything other than yourself or your emperor?”
“Our emperor,” Kasik said, the exchange reminding him of those first few days with Nina. “I have always paid attention to anything
that might have caused danger or undue harm to—”
“Yes, yes, we all know how loyal you are.” Chaska waved her hand in the air and wore a path into the floor in front of him.
“It’s the girl, isn’t it. She has changed you.”
“I don’t—”
“You don’t need to say anything. It wasn’t a question.
” She stopped suddenly and met Kasik’s eyes.
They were filled with doubt—for herself, or for him, Kasik wasn’t sure.
“I am not in love with Samaq, if that’s what you were wondering.
And no, that wasn’t him I went to meet. I’m sorry, Kasik.
I know how much you care for your friend. ”
“And the wall?” Kasik asked. He hoped she would appease his attempt to distract himself. “Have you always had the ability
to move stone with a touch?”
“I can do so much more than move it,” Chaska said quietly. “And if you don’t keep that between us, I will show you exactly
what I mean.”
Chaska turned toward the door before he could say anything else.
“By the way,” she said over her shoulder, a flash of something mischievous in her eyes. “Samaq isn’t dead. And I hope that
one day, Nina can see her brother again.”
Then she flounced out of the room as quietly as she snuck through the grounds, leaving Kasik at the tip of a very long downward
spiral.