Chapter 30 Violet
VIOLET
The snow is falling in peaceful little flakes by the time we get back to the house. If it wasn’t for the streets and people’s yards being covered, you wouldn’t even know it was nearly a blizzard just twenty minutes before.
We pull up and I go to unlock the door while Sawyer gets the new coffee machine out of the truck. He brings it in behind me, and goes to put it in the kitchen.
Lennox and Rhett are both at the house, Lennox in the office doing something on his phone while Rhett reads in the living room. There’s a fire going in the fireplace, so the house is warm and toasty, and it feels nice to come home to.
“Family meeting!” Sawyer calls from the kitchen, breaking the quiet.
“Who do you think you are, our dad?” Rhett mutters, but he marks his place in his book and puts it aside anyway. He smiles at me, kissing my cheek as he passes to step into the kitchen.
Lennox comes in a moment later, one eyebrow raised. “You called?”
“I sure did.” Sawyer folds his arms. “We have a project for the day. We’re going to decorate Violet’s house for Christmas.”
I immediately blush as they turn to look at me. “I didn’t realize you meant you wanted to do it today,” I say quickly. It seemed like more of a vague offer for sometime in the future, and I definitely didn’t expect him to be so gung ho about it.
“Why wait?” Sawyer says. “Only so much time before Christmas, right?” He looks at his brothers. “Are you guys in?”
To my surprise, both of them agree immediately.
“Are you sure?” I ask them. “You must have more important things to do today.”
Rhett and Lennox shake their heads. I give them skeptical looks back.
Especially Lennox. I know he’s been dealing with his business while he’s been here, using the down time to manage things from his phone or his laptop when he needs to.
That kind of thing probably doesn’t let up during the holidays.
Rhett seems like he has more free time, but even so, I imagine there are other things he’d rather do than help decorate my house.
Lennox clearly picks up on the direction of my thoughts because he smiles at me. “It’s Christmas, Heartbreaker. There’s nothing more pressing than decorating today.”
I don’t argue. Instead, I just smile, touched.
Now that they’re all on board and I don’t have to feel guilty about monopolizing their time, it’s easy to get excited about it.
There are always things I want to do, but I just never have the time or the energy.
With them around to help, I can get a real tree and put up lights.
All the things I’ve dreamed of doing to make the holiday season feel special.
“What’s the plan then?” Rhett asks.
“We go out and get some stuff. We need decorations, lights, a tree. The whole nine,” Sawyer replies.
His brothers go to get their coats and boots, and we squeeze back into Sawyer’s truck, since he has the most space for stuff.
He puts the radio on a Christmas station, and sings with me all the way into town.
“Should we start with the tree?” I ask, looking out the window as we pass one of the many Christmas tree farms around Sweetwater Lake. It’s sort of the best place to spend Christmas, with the snow and the trees and the picturesque views.
“Let’s do it.” Sawyer pulls into the lot, and we spend time walking between the rows of trees.
“Too bad we don’t have to cut it down ourselves,” I say, looking over at Rhett.
He smiles back at me and nods over to a section that is designated as cut your own. “Is that what you want?” he asks.
“If you think you can handle it,” I tease.
Without another word he strides over, leaving the rest of us to follow.
“Show off,” Sawyer murmurs, but there’s no heat behind it, and he’s smirking with amusement.
“Well, when you’re a one trick pony, it makes sense to keep showing off that trick,” Lennox replies.
Rhett turns his head to look back at us, and even though he probably couldn’t make out what exactly his brothers were saying, it’s pretty clear that he can tell they said something. But he doesn’t look upset about it. He just rolls his eyes and then faces forward again.
He exchanges a few words with the lady running the area, and then hefts the axe she provides in her hand. “Pick a tree, Tink,” he says.
I walk along the offerings, touching the fragrant branches and trying to picture which one would look best in my living room. Most of them are too tall for my medium height ceilings, and some are much too broad for the small space. Eventually I find the one I want.
It’s shorter than the others, but it’s full and thick. With a pretty tree skirt and presents under it, lights making it sparkle and ornaments to add to the look, it should be perfect.
“This one,” I say, pointing it out.
Rhett does a little bow that makes me laugh, and then we all watch as he wields the axe with precision, cutting it down with only a few swings.
I clap, along with the lady running the place and a family who comes up behind us, and Rhett smiles, looking a little embarrassed at his audience. The tree gets wrapped up for the drive home, and Rhett and Sawyer carry it back to the truck.
“That was amazing,” I say, sighing happily. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
“Your wish is our command today,” Lennox says. “So what’s next?”
“We need lights!” I declare. “And tinsel. And pretty ornaments.”
There’s a department store in town, but there’s also a specialty shop that only opens right after Thanksgiving.
It sells all sorts of decorations, from mass produced ornaments and lights, to delicate hand blown glass pieces that are one of a kind.
I’ve shopped there a few times for things to decorate the little fake Christmas tree I put up in the bakery, and for gifts, mostly for my mom who loves that sort of thing.
But I’ve never gone in just to get something for myself.
Without me even saying anything about it, Sawyer drives us over.
When I look at him in surprise, he winks at me. “I know you,” he says simply and gets out of the truck.
The shop is much bigger than it looks from the outside, and we all grab baskets and start making our way down the aisles.
“Colorful lights or white lights?” I ask, holding up two boxes.
“Colorful,” Sawyer and Rhett say in unison.
“White,” Lennox says. “White is more classic.”
“More boring you mean,” Sawyer retorts. “It’s very upper middle class, trying too hard.”
“You’re a millionaire,” I feel the need to point out to him.
He grins at me. “Yeah, but I haven’t lost my soul. I still like colorful lights and stuff with personality. I’m not a tool of the corporate overlords or some shit.”
“What are you even talking about?” Lennox asks.
Sawyer shrugs. “No idea. Let’s get both.”
It’s funny to see them like this. They’re not quite back to how they were before, when we were younger and their mother was still alive, but it’s definitely an improvement over the way things have been the last week or so.
All the banter is light hearted, and even when they’re making fun of each other, it’s stuff that feels brotherly, rather than mean.
There are still some sharp edges to be filed down, but overall, it feels so much better.
We grab tinsel and garlands, and a package of beautiful ornaments in soft pastel colors.
“You have to have something special for the top of the tree,” Lennox says once we’re nearly done. “Let me handle it.”
He disappears down another aisle, leaving me with Rhett and Sawyer. We pass by some of the holiday outfits, and Rhett nods to the one that’s supposed to be an elf. It’s not much more than a green leotard with a fluffy tutu skirt, adorned with red bows and small bells.
“You should get it,” Rhett says with a smirk.
I snort. “In your dreams.”
Something passes over his face, and he leans in to murmur right in my ear. “My dreams about you are a lot dirtier than that, Tink.”
I shiver, from his words and from the deep timbre of his voice so close.
We meet Lennox by the register, and it turns out that he’s bought a beautiful glass star for the top of my tree. It’s stunning, made with a prism effect so that when the sunlight hits it, it throws rainbows that seem to shimmer in the light.
“Lennox,” I say, almost lost for words. “That’s so beautiful. Are you sure you want to get that for me?”
He looks at me with his calm eyes, a smile pulling at his lips. “Yes,” he says. “I’m sure. This is so you can have something beautiful to put up every year. Maybe a little incentive to keep doing your Christmas decorating when you want to.”
I feel so touched, so happy and warm that they’re taking this so seriously. I don’t even know if any of them care about Christmas themselves, or if they’re just doing this for me.
Either way, it’s one of the nicest things that anyone has ever done for me, and I can’t stop smiling.
We make one last stop at the department store in town, just to get the last few odds and ends that we need before we head back to the house.
Sawyer and Rhett split up to get things on their mental lists, and I stick with Lennox, heading down an aisle that has little trinkets that would look nice on the mantel. With the fire going, it will practically be a winter wonderland in my house.
Lennox picks up a figurine of a nutcracker, turning it over in his hands, and I watch him, chewing on my lip a little.
He seems relaxed and in a good mood, and I can’t help but think about the things he said to me last night. His words are fresh in my head, and this is the first time we’ve been alone together since then.
I hesitate for a moment and then take a breath. “Did you mean what you said last night?” I ask him.
“I said a lot of things last night. I’m sure I meant all of them, but can you be more specific?”
“You said… you made it sound like you hadn’t been with anyone else since me. Since the night we spent together.”
He’s quiet for a moment, but then he nods. I notice that there’s a light blush on his cheeks, and my eyes widen with surprise. I didn’t know he did embarrassment like that.
“I meant it,” he says. “Because it’s true.”
“Really?”
I don’t mean to sound skeptical, but… it just seems hard to believe.
I guess it shouldn’t be that inconceivable, considering it took me a year to even consider moving on after the night we shared—which is right when Andrew swooped in and asked me out.
But still, I’m me and Lennox is Lennox. He’s handsome, strong, rich, and has this brooding, intense quality that draws people in.
It seems impossible that there wouldn’t be women throwing themselves at him.
Surely he had eyes for some of them. After all, our night together was a long time ago.
“You don’t believe me?” he asks, interpreting the look on my face correctly.
“It’s just… I don’t know. It seems strange that you wouldn’t have been with anyone. I know you’ve probably gotten offers. I can’t imagine any woman not wanting to sleep with you.”
“Just because someone offers, doesn’t mean I have to take them up on it,” he tells me. He gives me a look. “Is it really so hard to believe that you ruined me for any other woman?”
My eyes really go wide, and I have no idea what to say. I’ve spent years thinking he either forgot that night, or it was so mediocre that it didn’t bear talking about again. It’s strange to think that he liked it so much that it ruined him for sleeping with anyone else.
“That, and…” Lennox trails off. Before I can ask him to finish that sentence, he loses his grip on the nutcracker he’s holding, his hand spasming as the figure falls to the floor.
“Fuck,” he curses, his shoulders tensing immediately. “I’m going to go see if they have another one.”
He strides away quickly, leaving me standing there.
Rhett comes up next to me, looking in the direction his brother went. He sighs softly and leans against my side. “Lennox has always been like that. Well, he has since he came back injured.”
“I wish he knew that it wasn’t a big deal,” I tell him. “That no one judges him for it.”
“Yeah. But it weighs on him. He’s the oldest, he’s used to being strong, and he’s really fucking proud. Being broken in his own eyes is never something he’s going to be okay with.”
I frown because I don’t like that. “He’s not broken. I definitely don’t see him as damaged in any way.”
“I know. Sawyer and I don’t see him as damaged or broken either. But sometimes it’s hard to see ourselves the way others see us. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the perception of ourselves we have in our head that that’s all there seems to be.”
I bite my lip. Yeah, I can understand that. I definitely have my own anxieties about myself, and no matter how often the guys tell me I’m beautiful, it’s hard to shake.
I open my mouth to ask Rhett if he knows what we can do to help Lennox, but Sawyer calls us over before I can. He sounds excited, so I take a deep breath, putting depressing thoughts out of my mind for now.
Rhett and I go to join him and find Lennox, so we can finish up our shopping for the day.