Chapter 45 #2
“I didn’t say that about you,” I say quietly, drawing a breath and opening my eyes to meet Violet’s gaze.
“I was talking about Isabelle after my brothers and I tried to talk some sense into her, to convince her to back off and leave you alone. She must’ve recorded our conversation, and then secretly recorded me talking to Rhett and Lennox afterward.
Then she played you whatever snippets she could find that would make it sound like we were talking shit about you.
But what you heard me say? I was referring to Isabelle, and to the fact that I can’t believe I ever thought I could be friends with someone like her.
We used to get along okay when we were kids, but I had no idea how selfish and manipulative she would turn out to be. ”
I take a small step closer to Violet, my voice shaking with intensity.
“Anything else that sounded like we were talking badly about you was just us repeating the things she said.” I clench my jaw, willing her to believe me.
“I thought you would have known that we’d never talk about you like that.
Not to your sister, not to anyone. None of us think like that about you. ”
Violet swallows again, glancing off to the side. I can practically see the wheels turning in her head while she rewrites the conversation she must have had with her sister. “Really?” she says after a while. “That was all her?”
I nod. “Yeah. She was pretty shitty about the whole thing, and we should have expected her to pull something like that.”
There’s a beat where neither of us says anything. Violet takes a deep breath and lets it out in a slow rush.
“I’m glad then. That you don’t think like that about me. That you didn’t say those things. It hurt a lot to think that after all this…” She trails off. “Thanks for telling me.”
“You’re welcome,” I say, my throat tight.
My stomach is still wound into a knot. Even though we’ve cleared the air about what she thought we said, the energy between us still feels…
off. Her posture hasn’t relaxed at all, as if she still has her defenses up, some kind of invisible armor wrapped around her heart.
Rather than moving closer to me, it seems as if she’s retreating into herself even more, despite the fact that though she knows the truth now.
“Are you okay?” I prompt, an anxious feeling thrumming through me. “Is something else bothering you? Please, tell me.”
Her lips quirk up in a small smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “No, I’m… I’m fine. I’m glad we talked. It means a lot to me, Sawyer. Thank you. But I don’t think we should… continue the way we were.”
Her words hits me like a blow to the chest, nearly knocking the wind out of me. I stare at her, trying to make sense of what she means.
“Why not?”
Instead of answering me directly, she bites her lower lip, glancing down at the ground before looking back up at me. “It was always going to end, right? There was a deadline on this whole thing. It was for the wedding, and that’s passed now. So there’s no reason to keep it up.”
“Is that what you think?”
“It’s the truth.” Her fingers twist together, and she lets out a small sigh. “I lost sight of that because we were having fun and you all made me feel—”
“Made you feel what, Violet?”
“Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter!” I insist. “Why are you giving up on this? I just want to understand.”
“I’m not!” she says. “I’m just going along with what our deal originally was. You pretended to date me for the wedding. The wedding is over. It was never real, and there’s no use pretending it was, right?”
Hearing her say that turns my stomach, and I give her a hard look, cutting her off before she can say anything else.
“Are we really going to keep pretending this is fake?” I ask, not even trying to hide the raw desperation in my voice.
She blinks up at me, looking unsure. “Isn’t it? Hasn’t it always been?”
“Maybe at the beginning,” I admit. “But now? It’s not fake for me. For any of us. Honestly, I’m not sure it ever was, if I really think about it.”
I watch the emotions play out on her face. It’s hard to pinpoint what they all are, but she’s digesting what I said, taking it in. I can see that what I said has affected her, making her swallow down whatever she was going to say next.
For a moment, I have some hope that she might be about to change her mind.
But then she shakes her head, giving me that sad little smile. “It’s not a good idea,” she whispers. “Maybe one day we can be friends again. Like we used to be before all of this. I’d like that, but I need some time.”
“Violet—”
“I gave you your five minutes.” She drags in a breath, squaring her shoulders a little even as I swear I can see tears shimmering in her eyes. “Now I really have to go. Have a safe trip to… wherever you’re going next.”
She gets in her car, and this time, I don’t stop her.
I stand frozen on the sidewalk, watching as she backs out of her parking space and heads off down to the road. My chest feels so tight that it’s hard to breathe, and I have to swallow several times to clear the lump in my throat.
Even though I got a chance to clear the air and explain to her that my brothers and I would never say anything bad about her, I can tell that she’s still stuck in her head, all of that sweet optimism I love so much about her locked down by self-doubt and the instinct to protect her heart.
I fucking hate that her sister could make her feel this way.
That she did it on purpose. That she could make Violet feel so small and unworthy that Vi would think my brothers and I would be willing—not just willing, but eager—to cut ties and walk away from her after everything that’s happened between us.
But I’m not willing to do that, and I know my brothers feel the same. We’re not leaving, and we’re not giving up. Violet may not believe me yet, but I’m not going to stop trying to convince her that I care. That this is real to me.
Determination fills me as I stare at the place where her car disappeared around a corner, easing the cold ache in my chest.
This isn’t over.