Chapter 34 #2
“Isla… Please.” Brennan raises a hand in plea, adding his voice to Dorian’s efforts. “You do not want to know any more than this.”
I bring my chin up. And for the second time, I insist that I have the right to know.
Dorian frustratedly shoves his free fist into his pockets, showing how agitated he is. “In that case, we should sit.”
“Thank you, but no.” Refusing to be swayed as I have a dozen times before, I keep my distance from them. If they want to have a seat, fine. But I need to be free to move around.
Since I remain standing, so do they.
After finishing his whiskey and setting his glass down with a thud, Dorian regards me. His eyes are haunted, and he suddenly looks older. “One evening, I was at the warehouse, working in my office, and a member of Marco’s crew—Vinny—was checking a shipment.”
There’s a heartbeat of silence, and I place my wine on a nearby coffee table before it spills.
“Lena—the woman you were asked about—came to surprise me.”
I blink. Surprise you? Meaning that she was someone special to my husband?
My knees wobble as the sentence hangs between us. Of course he’s had other lovers. That shouldn’t come as a shock. But it’s his delivery of the words—loaded with meaning and emotion—that twist my insides into a knot.
“Other than Vinny and me, no one was expected to be onsite. ”
A hundred questions crowd into my mind, but I can’t force any of them past my lips.
Brennan’s voice comes from a long way off, as if he’s standing at the far end of a cave, shouting in. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”
I want to shake my head. Instead, I remain where I am, even though I’m growing more chilled by the moment.
After pacing to the window, Dorian faces me again. “Could have been feds, cops, another family…”
I swallow deeply. They’re probably right that I really don’t want to know any of this, but now it’s too late.
“He…attacked her. She tried to get away. Ran.”
Dear God.
Unable to hold myself upright another moment, I somehow make my way to an oversize armchair and sink into the cold leather.
“Fuck.” Dorian’s voice is jagged and tormented. “We need to stop this now.”
“No.” There’s more force behind my refusal than I might have believed possible.
Brennan looks at me. “I evened the score.”
“She…” I have to shake my head so I can make sense of this. “Died?”
Neither man responds.
Tense moments later, I turn my gaze to Brennan. His face is stark, his cheekbones prominent. “That’s why you went to jail.”
“Prison.” He shrugs. “But yeah.”
“So you… You…” Murdered a man. But I can’t force those words past the lump in my throat.
To his credit, he doesn’t deny it. “Yes.”
There’s resolve in the stormy blue depths of his eyes, the same as there’d been the night of the gala when he’d told me that he’d do anything to save and protect Dorian. And me .
As if I can make this awfulness vanish, I close my eyes. But when I open them again, their past, our future, is right there, aching with tension. “How did you get out?”
“A plea bargain.”
With sudden, horrific clarity, everything clicks into place.
The tangled mess of Dorian, Brennan, Moretti. My father. “He helped you.”
Dorian raises an eyebrow. “Who?”
“My dad.” The escort ring. They knew. All my life I thought he was the monster. And now I’m married to the men who own him. “You blackmailed him.”
“I used the leverage I had.” Dorian answers for both of them, using the vague language I’m coming to despise.
This whole thing is grotesque.
When I got married, I didn’t know I was agreeing to be part of any of this.
Though he extends a hand toward me, Brennan remains where he is, respecting my space. “You were never supposed to know any of this.”
“I need to know more about Lena.”
Brennan’s response is swift. “You don’t.”
“As she said, she’ll find out on her own.” Dorian’s tone is fatalistic.
“Dorian—”
“Brennan arrived, but the damage was done.”
“Goddamn it, Dorian. Fucking stop.”
Ignoring our partner, Dorian pulls his hands out of his pockets and paces to the window. Then he turns, the afternoon sun outlining him.
“She bled out. Before the ambulance could…” He doesn’t finish.
My body curls in on itself, my arms wrapping around my waist like I can hold in all the unraveling .
“She meant everything to me.” His voice breaks. And so does something inside me.
Tears sting my eyes.
“Little one?—”
“You loved her.”
He doesn’t answer, but the truth is there in the haunted depths of his eyes.
And I realize my sister was right. I am falling for them.
How stupid.
And yet I’m merely a pawn in some stupid, complex game I don’t understand.
From the beginning, that was clear.
It’s only my emotions that have gotten in the way of facts.
What the hell have I allowed to happen to me?
I’m married to a man who is more than morally gray and another who has done hard time.
This is beyond too much to take in.
More than anything I want to turn back the clock, to our honeymoon in the French Quarter, before the first text message, when we had a bright future in front of us.
“We will not lose you like we lost her.” Dorian’s voice is rough, desperate.
He takes a step toward me.
“I need to be alone.” Somehow I manage to force myself from the chair, and I flee down the hallway, toward the room that is totally mine.
Tears sting my eyes as I slam the door and lock it behind me because I can’t trust myself if either of them touches me.
Dorian pounds on the wood. “Isla!”
It takes every ounce of my will to ignore him.
Arms wrapped around my middle, I stare out the window at the skyline that looks absolutely the same as it did this morning. Except …
Everything has changed.
Tears streaming down my face, I press my back against the door and slide down until I’m curled in on myself, sobs wracking my body.
I’m destroyed.
There’s no way I will ever survive this…