Chapter 40
CHAPTER FORTY
Dorian
I’ve had enough of this bullshit. Had enough of my own self-inflicted misery.
It’s time to atone for the numerous wrongs I’ve committed. Well, only the ones I regret. And in this case, there are many.
And if I fail…
The idea is enough to bring me to my knees.
I can’t fail.
I can’t fucking lose everything and everyone who truly matters to me.
I thought losing Lena and Brennan doing time would crush me. But I had no idea that him walking out, of hurting Isla so completely that she ran from me, would incinerate every last piece of my soul.
With more confidence than I’m actually feeling, I stride toward the security room of Vale Imports.
I get a few looks, but no one tries to stop me .
Of course they don’t. My name is on their fucking paychecks. And they’d better not forget it.
I stop in front of the biometric scanner. As it processes, taking too damn long, I wonder if Brennan has revoked my access, even though I own the company.
Surely he wouldn’t.
But would I blame him if he had?
A fraction of a second later, I receive a green light.
Exhaling from relief, then squaring my shoulders to face my demons, I open the door.
A wall of monitors greets me, their flickering feeds painting the cramped, windowless room in shades of blue and gray, each screen a silent witness to every corner of Vale Imports—loading docks, hallways, the front gate.
A red light pulses on a control panel, signaling my entry, its faint beep swallowed by the low hum of cooling fans keeping the equipment from overheating.
The monitors flicker with feeds from every corner of the building and its exterior, and I know they’ve seen me coming—Lasker’s team doesn’t miss a beat, or they’d be out of a job. They knew I was coming, all right. Good. I’m not here to play games.
Lasker, head of security, looks up from his console, his face tight. Brennan’s there, too, leaning against the far wall, arms crossed, his broad frame a fortress of tension. His dark hair is mussed, his jaw shadowed with stubble. His eyes are dark and threatening, and he’s totally focused on me.
Today he’s in a black T-shirt and jeans, not the tailored suits we used to wear like armor. His stance shows he’s ready to do battle. With me. Not for me.
“Lasker,” I say, my voice rough, like I’ve swallowed gravel. “Give us the room.”
The man hesitates, glancing at Brennan for direction.
At Brennan’s tight nod, Lasker grabs his tablet and slips past me, the door clicking shut behind him with a sound of finality.
The room seems smaller now, claustrophobic, the air heavy with the faint metallic tang of electronics and the weight of everything we haven’t said since he walked out, since Isla ran, since I destroyed everything we shared.
Brennan shifts, his boots scraping the floor, and he moves toward the door, ready to show me out, his shoulders squared like he’s bracing for a fight. “I’ve got work to do, Vale.”
“Two minutes. Please,” The word rips out of me, raw, desperate, not the command I’d usually wield but a plea that burns my throat. He freezes, one hand on the door handle, and I see the flicker of his jaw, the way his fingers flex, like he’s fighting himself to turn back.
He doesn’t move, doesn’t look at me, but he doesn’t kick me out either. His silence is a highwire that I’m not sure how to navigate.
I step closer, my hands trembling, and I shove them into my pockets to hide it. Her ring is there, its edges biting into my palm, a reminder of what I’ve lost—what we’ve lost.
“I fucked up.” My words spill out, heavy and jagged.
“With you. With Isla. With everything.” My voice cracks, and I hate it, hate the vulnerability, but I can’t stop.
Not now. Not after Altair’s truth stripped me bare, forced me to see the coward I’ve become.
“I’ve been trying to control it all, to keep you both safe, to keep this empire from crumbling, and all I did was push you away. Both of you.”
Brennan’s head tilts toward me, just enough for me to catch the glint of his eyes, dark and guarded, but there’s a crack in his armor—a flicker of pain that mirrors mine.
He releases the door handle and allows his hand to fall to his side as he turns to face me.
His gaze rakes over me, taking in the unbuttoned shirt, the missing tie, the hollows under my eyes. “You look like shit, Dorian.” His voice is low, rough, but there’s a tremor in it, a hint of the man who’s been my brother in all but blood for years.
I laugh, a bitter, broken sound. “Yeah, well, losing you both will do that.” I take another step, closing the distance, my chest tight with the weight of what I need to say.
“I was wrong, Brennan. About everything.” My throat tightens, and I force myself to hold his gaze, to let him see the truth I’ve been running from.
“I was scared. Scared of losing her like we lost Lena. In trying to protect her, I caged her.”
He nods.
“And you…”
He waits.
“I was scared of losing you. And I fucked it all up because I didn’t trust that you knew her as well as I did. That maybe you didn’t care as much.”
His face shifts, a flash of raw pain crossing his features, and his fists clench at his sides.
“Lena.” Her name is a wound we both carry.
“You froze that day. So what?” He shrugged.
“You’re human, Vale. Fucking human. I know you hate that flaw.
You’ve been punishing yourself every day since her death, tearing yourself apart for something you couldn’t control.
The truth is, there was nothing you could have done.
Nothing anyone could have done. But you refuse to acknowledge that.
By torturing yourself, you’ve punished me, punished Isla, punished everyone who cares about you. ”
His voice is steady, but his eyes betray him—glistening, haunted, the weight of her loss as fresh as it was years ago.
“I went to prison for you. Because I needed to atone for my failings too. For letting the situation happen. And you still don’t get it.
You don’t get that I’d do it again, but not if you keep shutting me out. ”
The words hit like a fist, stealing my breath. I see it in his face—the betrayal, the brotherly love he’s never spoken of but has always shown through his loyalty.
I step closer, close enough to feel the heat of him, the tension radiating off his frame.
“I know,” I whisper, my voice fraying. “I know what you did. What you’ve always done.
You’ve been my anchor, my conscience, and I took it for granted.
I pushed you, and I pushed Isla, and I’m so fucking sorry. ”
He looks away, his jaw working, and I see the battle in him—the urge to walk away, to protect himself from me. But I can’t let him. Not now.
I pull the pink diamond ring from my pocket, holding it up between us, its facets catching the dim, artificial light of the security room, reflecting off a nearby monitor showing the front lobby. “I saw Altair.”
Brennan’s eyes narrow, a spark of surprise cutting through his guarded expression.
“Your doing, I suppose.” It had to be.
“Someone had to get through your thick fucking skull. You weren’t listening to me.”
I’m destroyed all over again. Even when we were apart, he’d been trying to save me. How had I not seen that?
“Is that why you’re here? He told you to?”
“No.” I shake my head. “He told me what I already knew but was too damn stubborn to face. I’ve been a fool, Brennan, thinking control was the answer. This ring—it’s not just Isla’s. It’s ours. Yours, mine, hers. I’m not drinking. I’m doing my goddam best to be the man you both deserve.”
“It’s not a one and done deal, Vale.”
“I know.” My voice is raw with the anguish I’ve been carrying. “It’s a lifetime commitment.”
“And you’re willing to make it?”
For him? For her? I’d fall on a sword. “I need you. Not just for the business, not for the fucking empire. I need you because you’re my family. And I need her. Isla. I love her, and I know you do as well.”
His head snaps back to me, eyes wide, a storm of emotions crashing through them—shock, pain, hope. “You love her.” His voice is measured, as if he’s testing the words, weighing their truth.
“I do.”
My admission is raw, and it hangs in the chilled air.
“And I love us. What we all share.”
“Fuck. Vale…”
Tell me you can find a way to forgive my stupidity?
“I saw her.” His words stop my heart.
Of course he had.
Why wouldn’t he?
It’s another stark reminder that Isla escaped from me, more than us.
“Yesterday. At her apartment.” He rubs a hand over his face, like he’s trying to hold himself together.
“How is she?” I’m like a man dying of thirst. I need to know she’s okay.
Something more than the constant updates about her movements.
She’s run a few errands, gone back to the college.
But those reports don’t tell me anything I need to know.
And it doesn’t escape me that team failed to mention that Brennan had been there.
“Holding it together.”
I try to read the meaning in his words. Is she thriving? Proving to herself that she’s better off without us? But I know nothing about our relationship was pretense.
I remember the sound of her soft sighs against my neck, the ways we moved together in the dark, her fingers tracing the scars on my chest like they were a map to my soul.
The way she laughed, unguarded, when Brennan teased her about her terrible coffee-making skills, the three of us tangled on the couch during a rare Sunday morning, sunlight streaming through the penthouse windows, her book forgotten on the table as we shared quiet, unguarded moments.
Calypso snuggling up contentedly with us all.
Soft, wonderful memories that now tear at my soul. “Does that mean she’s well?”
He seems to choose his words. “It means she’s doing her best.”
Selfish bastard that I am, this is what I want to hear.
If she’s not enthusiastic about going back to her old life, then maybe I—we—have a chance. “I don’t know how to fix this.”
“You’re going to have to figure it out.”
“She doesn’t hate you, if that’s what you want to know. She doesn’t hate that you kept secrets. She knew who you were before she walked down the aisle.”
Lost, I scowl.
“Think about it for a minute, you fucking idiot. When did she run?”
The evening replays, in vivid, horrific detail.
“Think. You’re blind if you don’t see it.”
Then I do. Slowly, painfully, the realization sinks in. Lena.
Brennan’s right that Isla knew who I was. And in the time we were together, she witnessed the reprehensible things I did. Saw the flawed, possessive man that I am. She overlooked all that, forgave even more.
And yet… Damn. Fuck. “My love for Lena.”
“When I said you were punishing yourself and everyone around you… Yeah. Closing yourself off to what you could have because of what you lost. What a selfish prick.”
His words land like a gut punch.
“Imagine how she felt. She was ripped away from her life, shoved into a marriage she didn’t want, with men she didn’t know.
Remember how she defended you to Everett, how she was your greatest advocate at the fundraiser, how she was strategic with your desire to rule the world from the White House?
” Brennan’s gaze is lethal. “You know her. Money means nothing. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have walked away from her family and turned her back on her inheritance.
A woman who doesn’t care doesn’t do something like that. ”
I inhale a shaky, hopeful breath. “She…”
“Yeah.” His hand forms a fist. “For better, for worse, she loves you. Loves us both. That’s why she ran, because she can deal with anything except the ghost you keep resurrecting.”
He takes a step closer, and this time, I’m bracing myself for the blow he’s about to land. And I’d take it. He deserves the opportunity to lay me out for being a dozen kinds of fool.
“It’s not me you need to make things right with. I know you’re a fucking asshole. But Isla…? You’d better show her how much she matters, prove your love, reassure her she’s not competing with a woman who died years ago.”
Fist still at the ready, twitching, he pauses.
“If you don’t get her back, there is no us either.” His words are a vow, a challenge, and his eyes burn with the same fire I feel in my chest.
It won’t be easy. But after everything I put them through, I don’t deserve easy.
“Understand?” For deadly effect, he repeats himself. “If you don’t get her back, there is no us either.”