Chapter 15
SOSIE
“Wow,” I say, glancing up at Gregory, “this is quite the turnout for a company party on Christmas Eve.” The pub is packed, but I guess when the boss of the shipping division is picking up the tab, a party with your coworkers is enticing for some.
Am I being too harsh? For all I know, Lafoon Industries could be an amazing place to work.
That would say something about the family itself.
Mentally, though, I’m already miles away from this place and them.
It doesn’t matter if he’s nice or they treat everyone like gold.
I was born into the wrong family, so there’s no way in hell I’m marrying into the copy-paste version.
Two suitcases.
One for clothes.
One for shoes and bags.
“We’re announcing bonuses tonight,” he says, leaning toward my ear while rubbing between my shoulder blades.
Dinner was exactly what they preferred. Polite small talk among the women while the men talked business.
Nothing controversial was introduced, especially not me being unhappy or wishing I were anywhere other than there with them.
They didn’t even notice I stopped participating, choosing to spend my time mentally packing my bags.
“That’s exciting,” I reply half-heartedly.
Grab my jewelry from the safe behind the dresser.
“I have a few other announcements I think you’ll enjoy as well.
” He winks at me with a tilt of his head.
He’s an attractive man, and sometimes when he looks at me, like he is now, I can see him planning our future together.
A white picket fence . . . if that was a thing in Manhattan, two to four kids, and me waiting for him at home when he returns in the evenings.
The whole picture is laid out so clearly that I could almost mistake it for a photograph.
Would it be that horrible to be caged by a man who loves me?
I blink, the image clearing, and the loneliness of that life setting in. I’d have the wife title, but never truly his heart after giving him what he wants. I’ve seen how that kind of life plays out, with my mom and Mrs. Lafoon as prime examples.
I can’t forget Winifred the wallaby at the top of my closet.
Gregory stops in front of me and takes my coat from my hands. “The ride over and then dinner got off to a rough start, but I’m glad you seem happier now.” I don’t bother telling him I’m an Oscar-worthy actress at this stage in my life. He asks, “What would you like to drink?”
Happiness by the gallon, a pool full of the freedom to live life on my terms, and to love by the oceans full. Instead, I reply, “Espresso martini, please.”
Sometimes I’m not sure if it’s fair to take my predicament out on him.
He’s stuck in this like I am. The difference is that he’s made his intentions for me clear and been more than patient with my swinging-from-the-chandelier emotions.
He’s not forcing me to do anything. My parents are.
Extortion via my own family wasn’t something I expected, but I’m not willing to risk further damage to a life I deserve to live.
A shiver runs down my spine from the darker feeling that’s been troubling me for some time.
My father’s threats have started to sound like they’re more than verbal in the tone he uses with me.
Leaving is the only choice I have left. They’ll never see me again if I have my wish.
The stack of cards I’ve collected over the years are tucked into the top drawer of my dresser. I can’t forget those.
I watch Gregory make his way through the crowd toward the hallway to check our coats, remaining where I am and smiling as if I belong here.
I don’t. I get out of the flow of traffic and head to the back, though there are no real openings where I can wait without being in the way.
“Sosie?” a woman calls my name, and I look around until I’m met with a smiling face.
My shoulders ease as I walk toward her. “Jerilyn, it’s so good to see you again.” We met a few months ago at a party the Lafoons hosted. She was the only one who seemed genuine. She reminds me a lot of Marcy.
She throws her arms around me like we’re old friends.
“It’s so good to see you, too.” I find comfort in the stranger, something I don’t find much around other people currently in my life.
“I thought about texting you to see if you wanted to grab coffee or a cocktail, but I didn’t know if you’d remember who I was. ”
“Of course, I do. You made that night tolerable, the only bright spot from what I remember.”
She quirks her head, her high ponytail falling to one side. “Wasn’t that the party where the Lafoons announced they were expanding their overseas offices?”
To her, it’s a good thing to be close to their power. They used it for something beneficial for the company, so I understand her excitement.
For me, I just want out of their world, no matter the circumstance. “That was good news,” I say, needing to guard my true feelings, especially at his company party.
Her smile reappears as if she didn’t clock the negative blip in my reaction. “How are you so gorgeous? Gregory is a very lucky man.”
I’m the worst at taking compliments, but I kind of hope my looks are the least interesting thing about me. “I should hang around you more often,” I reply with a laugh. Swinging it back to her, I say, “Look at you. I love this dress. It was made for you.”
“Thank you.” She peers down at the dress, and her smile is more contagious than ever.
I hate the jealousy that swarms under my skin.
I used to be like that. Living life like there were endless possibilities.
I’d love to know her secrets to finding this kind of happiness, but I have a feeling that not being threatened by her parents might be adding to her glow.
Gregory appears from the revelers with our drinks in hand.
He hands me the martini glass, then says, “I’ll be right back.
I need to make announcements.” He gives me another wink, which seems like overkill at this point.
Is that a new habit he picked up from the office, or is the alcohol from dinner kicking in?
Jerilyn nudges me, whispering, “No offense, but I thought you two were just friends the first time I saw you together.” The “no offense” already raised my hackles, but maybe I’m not such a great actress after all.
“Were you friends before you got together, or was it love at first sight?” The question lingers with the lilt at the end, begging me to confess to the truth that neither applies to him. But that’s not something I can do.
I should hate how often Keats comes to mind, but I always welcome the memories and the warmth that wraps around me like he once did. If love at first sight exists, that is what we were.
Despite how she makes me feel like a close confidant, she works for him, and I need to remember that. A thrill runs through her expression just before she adds, “I’m so happy for you. You make a beautiful couple.”
I’m starting to believe that’s all we are. Attractive. Everything seems to come back to that. There’s no mention of our chemistry. We look good together on paper and in real life. But that’s where it begins and ends for Gregory and me. “Thank—”
“Hello! Hello,” Gregory says with a microphone in his hands. “Thank you for coming tonight when you could be heavily drinking with your families instead.” That earns him a round of laughter from the drinking crowd.
A few glasses are raised in the air, and someone shouts, “Thanks for the drinks, boss.”
I keep wanting to brush Gregory with the same stroke as my father, but he’s not him.
He never has been, so it’s not fair to hold him to that standard of evil.
It hadn’t even occurred to me how he’ll react when he finds out I’ve left.
His feelings were never a concern of mine.
Should they have been? Did I lead him on in some way that he would think that I would fall in love with him?
When his eyes connect with mine, I smile and lift my glass enough for him to see the praise, but I’m conflicted. Sparing myself from further pain means inflicting it on him. Pain seems heavy-handed. Will he really be that heartbroken when I’m gone?
Jerilyn’s eyes are fixed on him, along with the smile on her face. She’d be a great match for him.
His laughter through the speakers pulls my gaze back to him, and my mind from matchmaking. He says, “Thank you for being here tonight.”
A bartender leans over and says, “Keep the path clear for the upstairs party.”
“Yes, it seems a publisher is upstairs celebrating, but down here everything is on the house for Lafoonery to begin.” I hold my expression, but inside, I’m cringing from that bad joke.
Seems this is his audience, though, because they laugh.
“Anyway,” he says, “I have some big announcements. The first is what I know most of you are here about. The bonuses.”
I sip my martini while tuning him out to tick through a few more items I need to remember—money.
I’ll need money and fast before my father cuts my cards off and freezes my accounts.
My passport. I could go to Paris, or somewhere exotic, and disappear for a while.
London isn’t exotic, but it’s always a good time, and it’s a bonus that I speak the language.
Other than the basics, what else do I take with me if I never have the chance to reclaim anything ever again?
My photo album and my laptop. I lose all my work if I forget to take those with me.
The roar of applause wakes me from my thoughts, landing me smack dab in the middle of a celebration. Jerilyn leans over and says, “Incredible, right?”
I glance at Gregory, hoping to find a clue to how much the bonuses were so I don’t get busted for letting my mind drift away. “It was a good year.”
“Sure was.” She’s still clapping when Gregory clears his throat.