12. No Mans Land
12
No Man's Land
Vihaan
V ihaan watched the sway of Vera’s sweet ass as she exited his office, before the door thudded to a close. Only then did he release the breath he’d been holding in. Hearing ‘sir’ from her in that sassy tone had made him want to do unholy things to her that would’ve had her screaming that exact word for the entire office to hear. A memory of her lips wrapped around his cock, her eyes on him as she sucked him off, flashed through his mind, his body reacting immediately. It was a small mercy that he’d been concealed behind his desk, because his pants had gotten tighter with every glare she’d thrown his way.
He glanced down at his erection, hating that his body had betrayed him in her presence. Stupid fucking dick with its own brain!
No matter how much he told himself he hated Vera, her effect on him remained as potent as it’d been when they were teenagers. It was insane, unnerving and disorienting because of the agonisingly opposing feelings in his mind and body .
Worse yet, after finally managing to get her alone today, he’d gotten completely derailed from what he’d wanted to discuss.
He’d spent the morning barking at the building management for not having placed a fire alarm trigger inside the storage room, threatening to bring a lawsuit upon them. Add to that, the discovery that he was wrong about Vera making all those errors had him torn. Was he glad that she was still the same hard-working girl? Or did he hate that knowing this made him want to find out in what other ways she’d not changed?
He sent off a note to Laila to follow up on Olivia’s dismissal before he sat back, sights swinging out past the glass wall to the busy office just beyond, landing upon the one woman he wasn’t supposed to care about. She had her head down, ignoring any looks that were being thrown her way as people passed by. The redness in her cheeks wasn’t because of anger. She was sad. Why the fuck was Vera acting unlike herself?! Why had she allowed Olivia to walk all over her? Where was the spitfire woman who would have chewed out anyone for failing to do their work correctly? He’d been on the receiving end of her sharp words often enough when she’d tutored him.
Her eyes remained downcast, as if she’d still not recovered from the discovery that someone she’d worked so closely with had put her through such a harrowing experience. Fuck, the reminder of it made him want to insist that Vera sue the snivelly woman, just to get revenge for the fear she must have felt when locked alone.
He jolted slightly, the suddenness of this need to avenge Vera taking him by surprise. He didn’t have space for soft emotions when it was directed towards her.
Still, her silence when subjected to Olivia’s cattiness pissed him off.
She’d been stunned in the break room when the truth had been revealed—he’d seen that. But moments later, she’d been hacking into him like he was an overdone chicken, so readily believing that he’d only helped her for nefarious reasons. Her mistrust of his intentions was like getting poked in the eye with a hot needle.
Goddamnit, why did he care what she thought? She did this to him. She made him question everything and behave in ways he otherwise wouldn’t.
Case in point: their little escapade yesterday.
He’d never been bare when he’d fucked any woman. He’d never lost his senses while intimate before. He was far too experienced for that, far too controlled. With Vera, that control had been non-existent. He’d been out of his mind with a need that outweighed sense. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from coming inside her, and instead of being horrified at the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy, some deranged part of him had crowed in victory at having marked her.
He needed psychiatric help.
Vera walked past his office, shuffling files in her hand. His body turned in her direction, a moth to her flame. His eyes unwittingly followed her as she walked away, leaving him with an aggravating desire to invade her personal space out of spite. She’d gotten under his skin because even now, the memory of his cum glistening down her silken leg had him hungering to go to her and. . .
And what? Being around this woman came with an uncertainty he was unused to. For years, he’d believed he’d made a great life for himself. He was successful, rich, could have his pick of women, and answered to no one but himself.
But Vera made him feel something he hadn’t in a long time.
Challenged.
His zeal to get Stork recognized as the top media house in Asia was less about work satisfaction and more about ego. He wanted to prove his father wrong. He was happy when his ideas showed growth, but he wasn’t interested beyond that to do anything more. Becoming a tycoon was a happy coincidence .
Vera though? He felt driven to best her. To figure her out. To strip her bare and glance inside so that he could assure himself that what he’d lost was not worth the pain he still felt.
Vihaan stood in front of the large windows of his office, looking out into the busy commercial district in downtown Mumbai, wishing that he too could get lost in the bustling city below, if only to escape this conundrum he’d invited into his life.
He sipped his mint tea, his preferred herbal alternative to any other warm drink. It surprised people when they found out he didn’t drink coffee, but he’d simply never developed a taste for it.
Unlike Vera. The thought caused him to pause with a grimace. She drank far too much coffee and ate not nearly enough food.
A knock on his door jolted him from his thoughts.
“Come in.”
As if he’d conjured her just by thinking of her, Vera entered his office, taking a few steps towards his desk before stopping. Her oval face twisted in confusion when she realised that the chair behind the desk was unoccupied. With a slight jerk, she looked to her right, finally spotting him by the windows.
“The SSI list has been finalised. If I could have your sign off, I’ll get them scheduled for shooting.”
She gestured to the purple file she’d brought with her, placing it atop his desk.
He allowed himself a moment to pull another swig of his tea, watching her from above the rim of his mug. Just when she looked like she was about to turn away, he called to her.
“Was there nothing else to say?”
She shrugged, annoyingly silent.
He pushed away from the windowsill, approaching her slowly.
“About yesterday?” he prompted once more.
Understanding settled upon her features.
“I suppose you didn’t lock me in there,” she admitted after a long minute, a little ungraciously .
“I didn’t.”
“If you’re expecting an apology—”
“I wouldn’t want you to bust a kidney.” He rolled his eyes, annoyed with the pace of their conversation. He thumped his mug down right at the corner of his desk, running a hand through his hair once before turning to look at her.
He pointed at her and opened his mouth. To his consternation, no words came out. Vera’s sights darted from the tip of his finger to his face and back, her pert nose scrunching in a look that was disconcertingly cute on a woman so vicious.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he released an irritated huff, trying once more.
“I want to address what happened after I found you.”
Her face went carefully blank. She stared at him, holding his gaze in some kind of an unspoken dare.
“I was angry, stressed, and you were there. It was a quick fuck to get my emotions to reset.”
The indelicate manner in which she put it felt jarring, considering he’d been trying his damndest to speak in nicer terms for her benefit. Why the hell had he bothered?
“It’s nothing I haven’t done before,” she added.
“Stop saying that.”
She scoffed. “I’m not saying anything you haven’t said or thought. Why the sudden exception to these words?”
It took effort for him to control the surge of resentment that grew at her continued assumptions of him.
“You’re making it seem like we had some sort of illicit . . .”
“Affair?” she interrupted, her smile no different than a sneer. “No. What it was, was a mistake. Unplanned and unfortunate. And it certainly was illicit. You are my boss—it should never have happened. ”
Was it just to be contrary that he wanted to argue against that statement? Maybe it should never have happened, but it did. How was she able to reduce that to such a clinical discussion?
“Are you clear?” she questioned him. “I get myself tested every few months. Do I need to get checked sooner?”
“I’m clear. I can have a copy of my recent results sent to you if you’d like confirmation.”
“That’d be appreciated. I have an IUD, and I took a plan B just in case. You don’t have to worry about any unintended consequences,” she informed him, clearly expecting him to heave a sigh of relief.
He should have. These were precisely the kinds of questions he should’ve been asking. Instead, she was steering the conversation logically while he was drowning in unrecognisable feelings. The idea that she was cleanly severing every memory of their interlude, as if it was a minor blip in the graph of her life experiences, didn’t sit well with him. Maybe he’d wanted to hear something else, or maybe Vera had simply gotten too good at hiding her emotions, but her impassiveness made him want to shake her silly, just to garner a reaction he could understand.
“You have it all figured out, don’t you?” he muttered, unable to understand why he felt so cheapened by her eagerness to move on.
“It wasn’t a big deal. We don’t have to keep discussing it.”
“Is that so?” His face hardened to mask the struggle within his mind.
“I don’t know about you,” Vera replied with a blasé wave of her hand, “but I will have no problem replacing one cock with another. I’d apologise for not speaking professionally but given the nature of this conversation, I figure you’d be understanding.”
Before he could think of anything else to say, Vihaan saw Vera’s attention get diverted by a man raising his hand in a hello as he passed by. Damnit, should’ve remembered to close the blinds , he thought, detesting the immediate relaxing of her frown when she nodded at Jay .
It was barely a half a second of interaction. Jay tapped his watch, Vera’s lips tipped up in response, the barest semblance of a smile, and Vihaan lost his fight to remain civil.
“You get around, don’t you?” he jeered, unable to contain his jealousy. “Doesn’t speak well for Jay if he can’t keep you satisfied.”
As expected, Vera’s gaze whipped to his, colour rising from her neck all the way up to her ears. Her eyes narrowed to slits, and he could almost imagine steam rising off the top of her head. Instead of the angry outburst he’d prepared for, her features smoothened into that carefully cultivated expression she normally wore. The one that looked to the world like she was bored and unaffected. He hated it.
“Oh,” she exclaimed softly. “Are we rating performances now? I’d give you a pass, don’t worry. Not the best I’ve had but satisfactory.”
At his stunned look, she laughed, a joyless sound full of scorn. “You seem surprised. Did you think you were the only man I’ve ever slept with? Get over yourself, it’s been thirteen years.”
“Fourteen,” he whispered, the word out before he knew it. His pulse quickened, panicking at the realisation that he was fighting a losing battle with something within him that refused to remain hidden in front of Vera.
“What?”
Fourteen years, seven months, and eleven days.
The pressure built behind his eyes, knowing that admitting this meant effectively throwing his pride out the window because Vera wouldn’t care. It would simply be proof of what a massive fool he was that he was still so affected by her. He pinched the bridge of his nose and wiggled it, trying to find relief from the heaviness that had swept over him.
“Does Jay know?” he asked, the tiny flare of her nostrils being the only indication that she was irritated with him.
“Jay again. What are you really asking? If his dick is bigger than yours or if he’s better in bed than you? If you’re that curious, I’ll try him out tonight and let you know. ”
She threw him a careless salute—a wordless fuck you —before heading to the door.
The idea of Vera writhing in bed with another man had him seeing red. It was an irrational feeling. Logically, he knew that she could be with whoever she chose. She could sleep with the entire population of South Mumbai, and he would have zero right to stop her.
That didn’t mean he liked thinking about it any more than he liked to wade in crocodile-infested waters.
“Were you like this even when we were together? Did I just not know?” he snarked, watching her pause just as her hand landed on the doorknob. He was unable to fathom the change in the woman he saw versus the girl he knew. The girl he thought he knew, his cautious mind corrected him. Bitterness, anger, annoyance and frustration swirled through him, worsening his already terrible mood.
Vera glanced back at him, her mouth twisted in a mirthless smirk. “Do I sense judgement from you? The playboy who proudly fucks anyone in a skirt and has a revolving door of women he is seen with, any given day of the week? I would laugh at your hypocrisy, but it’d be a waste of my energy.”
So, for the second time in twenty-four hours, Vera slipped away, leaving Vihaan teetering on the precipice of frustration and desire.
If she knew how easily she stripped away his focus from everyone who wasn’t her, she’d use it against him.
If she knew how close he’d gotten to admitting he’d unwittingly kept count of the days since they’d broken up, he’d become a fool for her again.
He could never let her know. And the only way to do that would be to avoid her.
So, fuck his curiosity and to hell with his attempt to understand why their interaction in the archives room had felt so life-changing. Like a part of him had been unravelled after decades of being hidden under layers .
He was going to stay far, far away from Vera, and he’d start immediately by distracting himself. He already had a dinner planned with friends. But after that, he was going to find himself a woman to spend the night with. Or the weekend with. He was going to lose himself doing debauched things that were too depraved and shameful for words. Things that would leave him with no energy to think about the most aggravating woman he’d ever known, with the most perfect set of lush lips, and sharp eyes that looked like they’d cut him open and flay him alive with a single glare.
He scrolled through his phone, sending off a text to an old flame at random. The almost immediate invitation to her apartment for a late-night rendezvous did nothing to reduce his restlessness.
Vihaan strode out of his office and headed down to his car, determined to turn his mind around and satiate his bodily urges with the model he’d see later tonight. Maybe he’d even agree to her inviting her girlfriend. He was going to fuck his way back into being normal and figure out how to live his life outside of Vera’s forcefield, if it was the last thing he did.