Chapter Eighteen
“Life is hard, but we have to keep going, keep waking up and keep putting one foot in front of the other.” – Jane
ELIZABETH
I run my finger over Rora’s cheek, watching as she sleeps soundly against me in a bed too small for both of us. She was so peaceful when she was sleeping, and her poor little body seems exhausted this morning.
She didn’t have another terror after I got here last night, and I was terribly grateful for it. But guilt was eating me up inside at the thought that she was going through that and I wasn’t here for her.
It’s not something I could control, but I still feel guilty.
Rolling out of bed, I adjust the oversized tee that nearly touches the bottom of my knees, it was more modest than most dresses I own. I flip my hair up into a bun on top of my head and check my phone, no messages from Derek.
I sigh as I walk to the bathroom, doing my business and splashing water over my face. I still have leftover makeup on from last night, but I don’t have anything to wash it off. I’ll have to ask Mom if she has anything.
Trudging down the stairs, I smile at the smell of bacon and walk to the island, but when I see the person standing there, my smile drops in surprise. “Derek?”
He spins, his lips splitting into a grin. “Good morning, beautiful.”
I must look like a fish with my mouth gaping open the way it was. I look around to see other things prepped for breakfast and wonder what time it is and how long he’s been up.
“What are you doing here still?” I ask, stepping around the island to get closer.
“Your folks let me crash on the couch.” He shrugs, turning to flip bacon and holding out his left hand to me. I take it wordlessly and smile at the ease of him pulling me close and slipping me under his arm.
“You didn’t have to stay,” I say, looking at where he’s cooking.
“I wanted to anyway; they just made it easier on me.” He looks down at me and turns the bacon on low. “How’s Rora doing?”
I nod. “Okay. She didn’t have another one after we got here.”
The concern in his expression nearly makes me melt into a puddle, and he gives me a soft smile. “Good.” His gaze roams down my body, and it’s then I realize I’m in a sleeping tee and… not much else. “You look stunning today.”
I scoff and wrap myself closer to him, wanting to feel his warmth and smell how good he smells, which is insane, by the way. “I just rolled out of bed.”
“Gorgeous,” he murmurs, kissing the top of my head and turning his attention back to the stovetop.
“Where are my parents?”
“Ah, they should be back soon.” He glances at his watch. “They left about forty minutes ago to get supplies for their boat?”
I nod my head. “Saturday. Every Saturday they go out on the lake.”
“Ah, yes. The sunburn fiasco.” I smile when he teases me, and then he says, “They invited me to come with you guys, but I don’t want to intrude.”
It was an opening, a good one too. I take a breath. And one I was going to take. “You should come.”
He nods and then says, “Then I will.”
Before long, my folks arrive, and Rora stumbles downstairs, surprised to see Derek and me here at her grandparents’ house when she wasn’t supposed to see me until right before boat time. She runs right to Derek, who, with ease, picks her up and asks her about her time with her grandparents.
I catch my mom’s eye and can tell what she’s thinking. Derek was good with her, and he was good for me.
Last night had been the closest we’ve gotten to actually making a move with each other. I can still feel that thrum of anticipation within me at the thought of him kissing me. I dream about the man’s lips. I dream about him holding me close and telling me I was his, telling me he was mine.
There are not that many thoughts that pass through my mind that don’t involve the man looking at me.
We start to get ready for the boat day, and my dad offers to loan Derek another shirt. He respectfully declines and wears his jeans and undershirt from the club last night.
Men. They can go anywhere with two items.
I change into some older clothes I’ve left here and wear a swimsuit that’s probably too small for me, but I use a long-sleeved cover-up to conceal anything too revealing.
Before long we were all loaded up into my parents’ SUV and on our way to the lake. It’s an unusually warm day for early October, too cold for swimming but a perfect fishing day that my dad is more than willing to take advantage of.
Loading the boat is seamless with Derek’s help, and before long we’re cruising through the waters.
Rora’s laughter carries through the wind, and I smile seeing her so carefree.
Last night had me worried, and the guilt I felt for not being near when she needed me still clings to me like a second skin.
Mom takes the moment of Derek being distracted talking to my dad about fish to come and sit by me. Rora is in my dad’s lap “steering” the boat.
“Well, what an interesting turn of events,” Mom says, giving me one of those looks moms do, the one that says they’re not stupid and they know exactly what’s really going on.
“Definitely,” I say, getting ready to deflect like any daughter would. “Thanks for calling me. I’m glad I was here when she woke up.”
“Me too, honey.” She taps my leg gently, and I wait for the inevitable. “So, Derek’s a nice boy, huh?”
I try not to completely roll my eyes at her obvious pandering. “I’m surprised Hattie isn’t here, joining your investigation.”
Mom waves her hand. “She’s got a game today, she wasn’t available.”
“Of course you asked her.”
“Yes. But it’s her fault. I told her what happened, and she said, ‘Oh, Birdie was holding hands with him last night.’” Mom gives me a look. “So don’t pretend that it was all me, my dear.”
“You two are the biggest gossips in the world.”
“Yeah, well, what are you going to do? Keep it to yourself? You never ask for babysitting unless it’s work-related, and now you wanted a Friday night and didn’t think I would put it together when little missy over there’s been talking about that man for weeks.”
Aurora was halfway in love with Derek.
Just like you.
My inner voice, I swear. I shake my head and take a deep breath. I’m not in love with Derek, we haven’t even kissed! We haven’t gone on a real date without people we know around, we haven’t spoken the words, “will you go out with me?”
This is all… hypothetical love. Like I could love him, I just haven’t had a chance to try yet.
I shake my utterly chaotic thoughts and turn back to my mom, keeping my voice low. “Okay, I get what you’re saying. But we’re not dating.”
I think back to the club last night and that moment when his lips touched my shoulder and it made me nearly come out of my skin. My shoulder. That is all it took for me.
Or it is quite possibly and very realistically the fact that it was Derek who did the touching that had my body acting as if it had been electrocuted?
When he turned me around, I was waiting, bracing for that moment for his mouth to touch mine and ready for it to turn my body inside out.
But he’d been the one who felt my phone and ended up saving the night.
I glance over at the three people at the end of the boat, his sandy brown hair was flying with the wind from us moving, and he catches my eye, sending me a smile to say he was happy to be here.
I gasp a little when I realize what him being here on a Saturday means.
“He closed the store,” I say, thinking of the customers he might be missing.
“What’s that?” Mom asks.
I glance back at her. “He has a hardware store. He must have closed it to be here today.”
“Well, that’s very thoughtful. He wanted to spend the day with you, so he closed up shop.”
I shake my head. “No, he shouldn’t have. He needs the business.” I stand and walk to him, steadying myself when my dad suddenly starts to decrease speed. My legs bend forward and my body pitches, ready to throw me to the ground when strong arms come underneath me.
“Whoa, you okay, Birdie?” His husky voice vibrates by my ear, and my hands grasp his forearms as we work to pull me upright.
“Fine.”
“Honey, I didn’t know you were up. You need to stay seated when we’re moving,” Dad says, scolding me like I was five and not thirty.
“Thanks, Dad.” I turn back to Derek. “Can we chat for a minute?”
“Sure.” He looks concerned, so I grab his hand, interlacing our fingers together to reassure him that I wasn’t mad, and pull him to where I was sitting. My mom has already moved by my dad, giving me a minute. “What’s wrong, Birdie?”
I turn to look at him. “You closed the store today.”
Derek looks confused for a moment before he replies, “Yeah?”
“You shouldn’t have done that, Derek. You need weekends for the project doers.”
“Birdie,” he starts, grabbing my other hand and pulling me closer. “I wasn’t going to open today regardless. I didn’t sleep well, didn’t have my car, and wanted to stay with you two today to make sure everyone was okay.”
“But you shouldn’t have to do that,” I start, shaking my head and feeling dreadfully unworthy of his attention. “You shouldn’t have to shift your whole life for me.”
Derek, for a moment, stays quiet. His eyes take in every detail of my face, turning to look at my family and back at me. There’s a clench to his jaw that shows him contemplating something, and I wait with as much patience as I can for him to come to whatever conclusion he has.
“Okay.” He shakes his head slowly, blowing out a breath. “I’m not sure exactly how to put this without being blunt, so I’m just going to fucking say it.”
I frown, waiting. “Say what?”
His large shoulders roll back, and he smiles softly at me.
“I’m into you, Birdie,” he states simply, making a little noise of shock escape my throat.
“I’m way into you. I don’t think of anything else.
I have thoughts of you morning, noon, and night, and I can’t stop thinking about the next time I get to see you.
” Derek pauses, taking a deep breath. “And I’d really like, when the timing is right, to have a chance to take you on an actual date. ”
For a moment, I’m surprised, but when I think back to last night—when I think of the shoulder kisses and the holding me and the smiles he throws my way every so often—it’s all too clear, all too obvious.
Relief shatters the moment as I wind my arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. His hands slide around my waist, and he waits for me to reply. I shake my head. “It’s about time you asked.”
A chuckle slips from his throat, and he regards me for a moment. “I was friend-zoned.”
The boat rocks slightly, and Rora giggles from the other end. I let out a soft gasp of surprise at his words. “You were not!”
“I was.” He nods, still smiling as his eyes trace over my face, thinking back to something. “You asked me to babysit, which I do love by the way, and went out with another guy.”
I bite my lip. “Okay, fine. Yes. I friend-zoned you, but that was only after you friend-zoned me!”
Derek looks genuinely surprised by my words, and I have to stifle a laugh at the outrage that was sliding over his face. “I never friend-zoned you.”
“Um, the game night? When I hinted that I could get babysitters if I needed them and you offered to babysit instead of being the reason I needed a babysitter in the first place?”
Derek hangs his head and groans. “So my friends were right. They’re never going to let me live that down.”
I let out a giggle that feels younger and more feminine and free than I’ve ever heard before, and his hands wrap around my waist more firmly. “Probably not.”
His eyes hold on to mine, and there’s a tension in his body that tells me he either wants to say or do something in this moment, but with an audience, I doubt we’ll be getting to any of that.
“Let’s do some fishing,” he says, gripping me tighter for just a few seconds and then letting me go, only to reclaim my hand and keep me close again.
It makes my heart leap with unfiltered joy, just from holding this man’s hand.
We rejoin the group and get started with the fishing, Derek helping Rora recast her line over and over again, keeping the same patience he has with the last one that he has with the first.
My dad interrogates him on his work and his family life, and Derek doesn’t hold back on the things that he’s going through, being honest about his parents and his store that he’s trying to keep afloat.
I admire the fact that he’s not hiding anything—that despite his way of using humor to cover up things that truly bother him, he was being genuine with my folks in a way that has a new layer of trust being built on our foundation.
It’s not long before lunch has passed and we all start to head back to the shore, thoughts of responsibilities coming to me as I think of the things I need to do before the start of the workweek on Monday.
Derek admits he was going to start staying open on Sundays and closing Mondays, which makes our time for seeing each other dwindle by another day.
When we got back to the house, his car had been returned there due to the generosity of his friends, and he offered to drop me and Rora home.
My mom and dad bid us goodbye with many thanks to Derek for taking care of their girls, and I see the gleams of appreciation and the shared looks between the two of them that boast their approval.
After arriving home and sending Rora to bathe, I turn to Derek, holding in a smile just barely before a blush overtakes my face, and I sigh, letting myself feel this way out in the open.
“How about I come to the store tomorrow? Rora and I can bring lunch,” I offer, hoping that I get to see him once again.
Derek leans forward, caging me gently against the countertops. I desperately want the man to kiss me. I’m dying for it, craving it like my next breath.
But I know he’s going to hold out.
“I would never say no to that.” He smiles gently at me, leaning forward and breathing deep, his lips skimming the skin of my cheek and making me feel like I am literally about to combust.
It isn’t fair that he can make me feel like this with just a few simple touches.
Whispering, I grin deeply as I say, “You said you liked me today.”
He nods, just barely, and a teasing glint enters his eyes. “I like you every day.”
I cackle softly. “You’re a nut.”
“I am,” he admits with no shame. “I’m a nut that’s very, very into you, Elizabeth.”
I grin so wide that it makes my cheeks hurt spreads across my lips. “And I you.”