Chapter Twenty-Five
“Don’t make me cry on Christmas, not even happy tears. I’ll deny they’re tears if it happens.” - Enzo
DEREK
I wake up bright and early, the sun is low in the sky, and the patrons of Denver are just barely cracking open their eyes to the fresh new day.
It is Christmas. One of my favorite days of the year, one day where I don’t have to be troubled by my burdens because no one is demanding anything of me.
My unpaid bills will be forgotten, the people reaching out to me will be home with their families, and I get to spend mine with some of the best family members a guy can ask for.
“It’s CHRISTMAS!” I bellow throughout the apartment, hopefully waking the patrons within. They know this is coming, as it’s tradition for me to wake them up bright and early, give them presents, and they fall back asleep while I make breakfast.
It won’t be like that this year, because after I hand them their gifts—they really do like my gifts, and I take a lot of time planning them—they will head back to bed, and I will head to see my girls.
I was invited to stay the night at her parents’ house last night and to spend Christmas Eve with them, but I didn’t want to just shuck my friends to the side completely.
We spent our Christmas Eve watching movies, eating cookies, and relaxing.
Birdie sent me pictures of them making real gingerbread houses, and I tried hard to ignore the pang of regret for not going to their house last night.
I still want to be a good friend, which is why Garrett, Enzo, and Nora come shuffling out of their rooms one by one. It’s weird that our group is dwindling couple by couple.
First it was Warren, and he lives with Jane in her high-rise apartment. Then it was Archer, who married the love of his life and promptly moved in with her as well. Then we had Mike for a while, until he was recruited by some firm in London and left us behind for that job.
Enzo was next on that list, but instead of moving out, Nora moved in. I felt intense relief when they made that decision. I didn’t want new roommates. I wanted to keep the ones I have, the ones I know.
“I know, I know, it’s early,” I start, jumping around the living room and gathering each gift in my arms, carrying them to each person carefully. “But I have to get going, and you three need your gifts.”
“What about the rest of the group?” Enzo asks as Nora yawns broadly beside him, her head flopping on his shoulder.
“They’ll get them later, I guess.” I also have gifts for Graham and his family, but I’m not sure when I’ll be getting to see them either.
I swallow and push back my concerns for life. It’s Christmas. My day off.
“Go ahead, open them.” I gesture to them. I’m already freshly showered and dressed, ready to head to Birdie’s the moment I’m done here.
Nora gets hers open, and her jaw drops. “Derek. This is too much.”
Indeed, it was a pricey gift, but I saved and paid for it in increments. “They’re the knives you wanted, right?”
Nora blinks and turns to Enzo, whose brows are raised. “Yes, but Derek, this is so expensive. You really shouldn’t have.”
“I wanted to.”
“Well.” Her shoulders drop, and she looks over at me.
She and I have known each other for a while now, and while I don’t confide in her much, or she in me, we have a bond with our fathers.
Hers was fighting to keep his life, and if I have to guess, she found camaraderie in me as someone who already lost his. “Thank you so much.”
She stands, and I hug her, letting her take a moment before she sits back down and Enzo starts to tear the paper off of his.
“Damn, this is amazing,” he says, looking at the copper-style hanging sign in his hand. “You freaking nailed this gift.”
“I had a friend help me with the design, he’s the one with the cutter to get it right. But it should hang out from the store like you want. I can help install it.”
“Derek, this is great, thanks, man.”
I give him a nod, and Nora looks over the sign, her eyes shining with happy tears. This is my favorite thing. Making people happy brings me more joy than receiving gifts myself.
“All right, last but not least,” I say and gesture to Garrett. He eyes the gift warily, which is fair. There have been times when we’ve fought enough that instead of a genuine gift, I’ve gone on to prank him. “I promise it’s real. No pranks.”
Garrett nods and rips open the package that’s on the floor by his feet; it’s a box with the name of the gift on the side. “Holy shit. How’d you know?”
“You complain more than you think,” I explain, and he looks over the new monitor for his gaming setup. His has been glitching, and sometimes half the screen just goes blank. His yells about it are frequent and aggressive.
“Thanks, man. Seriously,” Garrett says, reading what kind of monitor it is.
“All right!” I clap my hands and stand, reaching down to grab my wrapped presents for Birdie and Rora. Of course, there’s something for her parents, grandmother, and sister as well that I picked up. “I’m heading to the girls. You have a nice Christmas.”
Nora looks around with worry in her eyes, but she shines a smile at me and says, “Merry Christmas, Derek. I hope you have a really great day.”
I nod and say, “You too,” before I head out the door.
Time to finally see my girls.
Elizabeth’s arms are barely around me when Rora’s little ones latch onto my legs. “Derek!”
There was something sweet about her little voice yelling my name that got me every time.
“Hey! Derek’s here!” I hear Valerie cheer in the living room, and I move in, Rora on my leg and Elizabeth holding onto my side. The bag of gifts is in my other hand.
When I enter the living room, Hattie and her parents, along with Grandma Honey, are there, all still wrapped in their Christmas pajamas and sipping hot coffee.
“I got a dollhouse!” Rora says excitedly and bounces on her toes, now detached from my leg. I give her a surprised look, high-fiving her.
“Yes, a very large dollhouse,” Elizabeth says, and Valerie holds up her hands like “don’t you start.”
I smile at the exchange and set my bag down by the couch, scootching in next to Birdie and wrapping my arm around her. I take a breath and allow myself to feel that amazing sense of calm that I do when I get around her.
She admitted to the fact that being around me calms her, but what I didn’t reply with was that she does the exact same thing for me.
“Derek, coffee?” Valerie asks, already standing.
“I’d love some, if you have it.”
“I always have coffee!” Valerie sings as she whips into the kitchen. I smile at the sight, she and her daughter are very much alike.
“How was your Christmas Eve, son?” Roger asks, sitting back in his seat. I feel myself grow a little tenderhearted at the question, maybe because he used the word “son,” but I don’t want to dive into that now and end up bawling like a baby.
“Pretty low-key. Just watched some movies with my friends,” I say. “How was yours? I saw some serious gingerbread making happening.”
“I beat Aunt Hattie!” Aurora says loudly, to which Hattie gasps, eyeballing her niece in outrage. “You stuck your little hand through my roof!”
Then she grabs Rora and starts tickling her so much that Rora can barely get a breath, she’s laughing so hard. The rest of us sit there and smile at her actions. This will be a little girl who never knows what it’s like to wonder if people love her.
“Here you go, handsome.” Valerie sets the steaming mug on the side table by another, which I’m assuming is Birdie’s, and I take it, handing her one before taking a sip of my own.
“Thank you so much.”
“More presents!” Rora says loudly, nearly talking over my thank you, and I laugh at her, watching her aunt hand her something else that goes with the dollhouse.
It seems the room knew the assignment, and all of her gifts nearly complete the dollhouse setup, giving her furniture and a kitchen and fake food and clothes and all the things she needs.
“I have one more thing for you,” I say, standing and grabbing it out of the bag.
The bright red paper wrapping catches her eye, and she takes it happily, bouncing on her toes before tearing into the paper. She gasps and looks at the brown-haired doll before her. “I love her!”
I laugh and nod. “Good. There are some more things in here too,” I say and grab the smaller gifts, nearly all of them are clothes for the doll.
Rora dives into play mode, and we watch for a moment as she does, and then I watch as Roger and Valerie stand, handing gifts to Honey and Hattie, then Birdie and me. I stare in shock. “Oh, you didn’t have to get me anything.”
“Nonsense, you’re practically family!” Valerie says, and Roger nods.
Birdie’s hand reaches out and squeezes my leg. I look at her, and she smiles softly, the tender look in her eye makes me bite my lip. I do not want to cry in front of everyone, but my soft heart feels the waterworks coming on.
I rip open the paper, being polite about it, and set it aside. Inside, I find a silver watch. “Wow. This is so incredible, thank you.”
“Open the watch, there’s something on the underside,” Roger says, and I do.
Flipping it over, I see my father’s name and his birthdate written in the inscription.
That does it, the tears well, and I do everything in my power to keep them at bay.
Birdie grips my arm tightly, hugging me close. It takes me a few minutes to get it together, but when I finally do, I look up to find not a dry eye in the house. “Thank you,” I barely choke out, nodding at Valerie and Roger. “Thank you very much.”
They stand, and so do I, accepting the hugs they offer.
These people make me feel more like family than I’ve ever felt before, and I see myself coming to their family Christmas for many, many years to come.
“Well,” Hattie says, wiping under her eyes. “I freaking hate crying.”
“Me too,” Honey admits, giving a laugh. “But it’s a good cry. A happy, sentimental one.”
Birdie smiles and leans over after I sit, giving me a kiss on the lips. I accept and wrap my hand around her head, pulling her close for a moment.
I love being here with her, it’s like every piece of the puzzle is snapping into place, and it feels right, like I was always meant to be with this family.
“Well, shoot. I don’t know if I should give you this now,” she says as she pulls back, reaching for a present.
“Oh no, now I need another one,” I tease her, taking the present and ripping the paper open.
Inside is a framed picture of my dad’s storefront, and in front of it, he and I are standing there smiling at whoever is taking the photo. The photo has an aged look to it, and all those old feelings of nostalgia pop up.
The storefront looked amazing. It was still in its prime back then, and only now is it coming back to life again. All thanks to Birdie for coming in and changing my life.
“Dammit.” I swallow hard and look at Birdie. “This is amazing.”
“I was hoping it would inspire you,” she says, smiling sheepishly. “To keep it up. We’re gonna bring it back to its glory days. I found it in one of those old archives the city has when I was looking through some things.”
I wipe my hand over the image, tapping on it lightly.
I miss my dad. Usually I’m able to push the melancholy thoughts away, but for right now, that’s the last thing I want to do.
Them gifting me these things—telling me in their own way that they understand me, that they know what I’ve lost, that they want to bring me into the family—means more to me than they’ll ever truly know.
I look at her, leaning forward to press my lips to hers, something that I feel the urge to do as many times as possible, and say, “Thank you. You’ve given me the best Christmas ever.”
Birdie’s smile tells me she’s truly happy about this, and I pull her into my side before diving back into my bag and getting more gifts to hand out.
I gift Hattie a book that Viviana suggested.
I noticed that Hattie is a romance novel fiend based on the books in the apartment and thought she might appreciate it.
She did and, in return, gifted me season opener tickets for next year.
I stared in awe at the seats. They weren’t in the box this time, but right behind home plate.
I thanked her with tears in my throat and moved on, gifting Valerie and Roger a flag that had their name on it, perfect for mounting on their boat.
For Honey, I got her a gift card for a spa. I almost bought homemade lotions and things from the apothecary down the road from the store, but I decided I have no idea what this woman was allergic to. She was grateful and gave me a big hug that ended with a slap on my butt.
That woman is spicy.
The family starts to move into the kitchen, where the aroma of cinnamon rolls starts to filter in, and I watch them go, turning to Birdie. “I didn’t know what to get you.”
Birdie waves her hand before I can finish and smiles softly. “It’s fine, really.”
I frown. “Woman.” I pinch the tickle spot above her knee. “That doesn’t mean I got you nothing.”
Reaching into my bag for the last gift, I pull out the wrapped gift.
“Now, before you open this, I put a lot of thought into this. I thought about what was important to you and what would make you happy.” I shake my head.
“I know a vacation would probably do it.” She chuckles.
“But for now, this is what I came up with.”
She smiles softly at me and tears open the box, inside is a jewelry box. She smiles at me, a giddy bite to her lip that makes me want to take that lip for my own and opens the box.
Inside is a rose gold necklace, and the necklace says “Rora” with two pearls on either side, which is June’s birthstone.
“How? Have I told you her birthday?”
I shrug. “You mentioned she turned four in June, that you registered her for preschool then too, and that you couldn’t believe how fast time had flown.”
She looks at me in wonder. “Derek, the fact that you remembered that conversation and used it for a gift for me is absolutely incredible.”
I furrow my brows, looking at her seriously. “I remember everything you say to me. I mean, okay.” I shrug. “I may forget things in passing, but if we’re having a conversation, I remember.”
Birdie looks at the necklace again, her shoulders soften, and she fingers the necklace. “I think this is my favorite gift ever.”
“Well, then we’re even. Because being here with you is mine.”
I lean down, pressing my lips to hers as her hand scratches into my hair, holding me to her. I memorize this moment, savor every second, and file it away like a precious memory.
Because it is one.