Chapter Thirty-Two
“Sometimes distance can be what brings you back together.” - Warren
ELIZABETH
Acton, Colorado, was a beautiful place to be. The town we drove through was small and quaint, with friendly faces walking up and down the street, everyone happy to greet their neighbor even on the chilly day.
“Is this considered Acton or Fall Springs?” I ask Quinn, sitting at her adorable kitchen table, enjoying the hot cup of coffee she made for me upon my arrival. Rora was drawing with Alex, Quinn’s daughter, and laughing at her toddler son, JC, who kept stealing their crayons.
“Technically, my address is Fall Springs, but I don’t claim this town so much as I do Acton. Graham’s family grew up in Acton,” Quinn tells me, throwing her hair up into a high bun and smiling. “I’m so glad you’re here! We haven’t gotten to truly catch up in ages.”
“Well, when you throw us in a room with you and Derek’s friends, it’s hard to do.” I say this teasingly, especially since I adore each and every one of the people in his group.
“True.” Quinn smiles softly and taps her finger on the table. “I’m a little surprised Derek didn’t come. Graham was sure he wouldn’t have let you come up to visit us without him.”
When I called Quinn late last night and asked if they were up for a visit, I kept the explanation quick and brief, just mentioning I wanted to catch up. What I didn’t say was that Derek wouldn’t be coming with me.
I still haven’t returned his calls or texts. Not because I don’t want to, because I very much do. But because it’s still so fresh in my mind. The hurt that he created for me, telling me that I wasn’t supposed to take care of him, still makes me feel like breaking down and crying.
“Yeah,” I say softly, taking a sip of coffee and watching at the other end of the table when Rora giggles loudly at JC’s actions.
“That girl needs a sibling,” Quinn tells me, mostly teasing by the look on her face.
The comment makes my eyes water, and I feel absolutely pathetic for it.
“Izzy.” Quinn sits forward, grabbing my hand and looking at me with concern when a tear escapes down my cheek. “Why are you upset?” she asks me quietly, noting how discreet I was being. Rora still has no clue what was going on, and frankly, I’d like to keep it that way.
Though I’m not looking forward to the conversation I will need to have if I can’t work it out with Derek.
“We’re taking some space,” I say, keeping my voice hushed and accepting the tissue that Quinn hands to me.
“You and Derek are?” Quinn looks absolutely devastated by the news, and I know why. Since she met him, they have become great friends. He was her husband’s best friend, and they wanted us to work out.
I glance at Rora, wondering if she heard his name. Thankfully, she’s well and fully distracted.
“What happened? Last time we saw you two, it looked like everything was going so well.”
I nod, trying to get a hold on my emotions but seriously failing to do so. “Things were going well.” I pat my cheeks and sigh. “I love him. So much.”
Quinn’s brows furrow, but there’s a little quirk to her lip that tells me she’s so far past confused it’s silly. “Okay, so something must have changed your mind on that.”
“Nothing changed my mind on that. I love him. I’m pretty sure.” I touch my chest, feeling the physical ache in my heart. “I’m pretty sure he’s my soulmate.”
Quinn’s mouth can’t be helped when it tips up into a broad smile. “I thought so! I knew when he saw you at the wedding he was like”—she snaps her fingers loudly, gathering the attention of her daughter for a moment before she shakes her head and continues drawing—“instantly in love.”
“At the wedding?” I think back to that moment when the handsome man I fell madly in love with talked with me, talked with Rora, and was so kind to us both.
I remember leaving his side, thinking he was done talking to me, and then getting asked to dance by someone that works at Graham’s family ranch.
I didn’t want to say yes to him because something pulled at me with Derek. Even then. But he didn’t talk to me again after that.
“Oh yeah.” Quinn giggles, pressing her hand to her mouth and saying, “Did he tell you why it took him so long to ask you out?”
“No.” I furrow my brows, waiting for the explanation.
“Well.” She clears her throat. “At the wedding, he was, like, obsessed with you, and our friends were teasing him. Boys are so dumb sometimes.” Quinn rolls her eyes at whatever memory is passing through, but I’m eager for her to get it out.
“So he swore off dating and took a vow not to date for an indefinite amount of time. Then, I invited you to game night.”
“And threw myself at him,” I recall with embarrassment. I guess I don’t need to feel embarrassed now that I know he was into me.
“Yeah, he was beside himself that he didn’t ask you out then. We all teased him for offering to babysit instead of being the reason you needed one.”
I crack a smile. “Yeah, that was weird,” I admit, then tilt my head. “But also really sweet.”
“It was so sweet!” Quinn assures me, patting my hand. “But he was so into you, and I genuinely felt bad because he was holding up his end of the bargain, and the guys had completely forgotten about the bet.”
“Oh man.” I shake my head and rest it on my palm. “That feels like ages ago. So much has happened since then.”
“I know,” Quinn agrees. “I’ve literally never seen Derek so.
” She shrugs. “Content. He’s always been a really happy guy, but there’s always been this buzzing wire inside of him that didn’t let him settle down.
Now, when he’s with you, he can calm himself down because he feels content and like he is part of a unit.
He’s not on the outside looking in anymore.
He’s a part of something he’s always needed. ”
I brush away another tear and nod my head, understanding exactly what she was talking about.
“Now, are you going to tell me what happened, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?”
So I finally do. I tell her everything. All the work I’ve done with the store, how well everything was going for us—I tell her that I was so incredibly and undeniably in love with Derek that I was sure if we didn’t work it out, I might actually die.
She called me Derek’s perfect match for that comment alone, and I didn’t disagree.
I told her what he said after the business plan, that I was just trying to help him, and he blew up on me. Which was still surprising to me, but Quinn was downright shocked.
“He didn’t.”
“He did.” I lightly stroke the column of my throat, still thinking about how surprised I was. “I have never seen him get angry, but…”
Quinn waits, eyeing me with curiosity. “But?”
I purse my lips and then let out a breath. “I don’t think he was angry at me.”
“You don’t? I mean, yelling is a good indicator.”
“Yeah, but Derek? Angry? I’m not sure he possesses that emotion in him. Maybe, if someone he loves is hurt or someone is messing with someone he loves.”
“So, what do you think it was?” Quinn asks, her brows furrowing. Likely in concern for her friend.
Derek bred loyalty in his friends. It’s a quality that you don’t just have—you are born with it.
“I think he’s scared,” I admit. “Scared and maybe embarrassed. I don’t think he wanted me to know the things he was telling me.”
For a moment, we sit on that thought, and Quinn finally nods.
“Yeah. I think you’re right. Men and money are so tricky sometimes.
I know when Graham and I were dating, he was pretty broke himself and hated that I had more money than him.
Not because he wanted me broke by any means, it was because men feel like a failure when they don’t have a steady stream of income. ”
“All men?”
“I don’t know.” Quinn shrugs. “Maybe not. But in my experience, that’s a touchy subject.”
I hum in my throat and take a sip of the lukewarm coffee. It was still delicious, and now that Quinn knows everything, I can finally calm down.
“So what do you think you’re going to do?”
Before I can answer that question, the front door opens, and a rush of clattering nails on hardwood interrupts the quiet. Rora squeals at the notice of a dog, and the sweet thing runs up to the kids, already looking for hugs and pets.
Graham comes up behind Quinn and wraps an arm around her shoulder, pressing a sweet kiss to her cheek. I smile at him when his gaze catches mine, and he nods at me. “Hello, Elizabeth. Nice to see you again.”
Graham was a big man, and when he sits in the chair next to Quinn, I fear for the chair. “Nice to see you too. Thanks for letting me crash at your place this weekend.”
Rora and I were staying at the lodge tonight, but we would be hanging out with Quinn’s family when we weren’t there.
“Not at all, we’re happy to have you.” Graham smiles, and there’s something tense there, like he’s not sure he should say more.
“What is it?” Quinn must have clocked what I did, because she watches him with curiosity.
“I, uh…” He rubs his hand over his bearded jaw. “I just got off the phone with Derek.”
I feel my lungs pause briefly before expanding again. “Oh.”
“Yeah, he told me what happened,” Graham starts, eyeing me with sadness. “He feels really bad.”
I nod, just slightly, and say. “I know.” If the texts and voicemails were anything to go on, I know Derek is feeling horrible about what he said.
“He said he went to your place this morning, and you and Rora left for the weekend.” Graham looks uncomfortable. “I didn’t tell him where you were, but I feel bad about lying. I don’t lie to my friends.”
“I’m sorry, Graham. You don’t have to lie to him,” I tell him, feeling guilty. This is the tricky part with escaping to your boyfriend’s best friend’s house.
“I won’t call him and tell him, but if he asks again,” Graham says, shrugging. “I hate lying to him. He sounds torn up.”
“I’m not avoiding him forever. I just need some time to figure out what I want.”
Graham seems to be unsure of what to do with that, but I can’t really give him a straight answer. I can’t even give my boyfriend one, and I ran away from him so I didn’t have to deal with it all.
“Derek is…” Graham leans his forearms on the table, thinking about how to say whatever’s roaming around in his brain. “He’s sensitive. I’m sure you have already figured that out. But losing people he loves, or being left, it hits him hard.”
I feel a swell of guilt bubble in my gut. I know Graham’s not saying any of this to hurt me, but I wasn’t his friend, he was Derek’s. He’s just protecting his best friend.
“I’m sure he’s explained what happened with his mom,” he says, and I give him a nod. “And his last girlfriend was the most manipulative woman I’ve ever seen. I only met her once, but the guys said she was pretty bad to him. So I think he has a fear of losing people.”
“I understand, I’m not.” I pause, unsure how to reply. I wasn’t ready to just forget and forgive. Not yet. I’m not someone who holds a grudge against people, especially not my family or loved ones, but I’m hurting.
Graham nods at me and says, “I’m not trying to push you, Elizabeth.” Quinn’s hand comes up to rest on her husband’s shoulders in support. “I’m just explaining my side of things. I know Derek messed up, but he doesn’t want to lose you either.”
I feel those emotions I’ve been hiding from, start to threaten to come back up again, and I sigh, letting my head fall a bit. I understand exactly what he’s saying. Derek is a good person, which I’ve never doubted once, and letting him think he lost me maybe isn’t fair.
I’m just not ready to talk to him. Not yet.
“Well! How about we hit up the farmers’ market? It’s opening weekend!” Quinn says, and I smile at her, thanking her silently for diffusing my situation.