Chapter 25
Peter was okay, and just like with Bernard, he’d actually been fine without Theo. Which, on a certain level, Theo had known, given Peter had been around and managed to stick around since the Viking age, whether he liked the nomenclature or not.
They had all made it back up to the kitchen, dragging the three rotten Fae plus Mike, who was at least well enough to have wrapped an arm around Corvin’s waist now.
Cloudtree stood by the sink somewhat uselessly, picking at his cuticles. He looked at Gertrude. “Should I fetch water from the well? For your eye.”
She shook her head. Her left eye was almost swollen shut. “This is nothing. I’ve had worse.”
Laurette groaned. “Don’t say that. They’ll all think it’s terrible to work for me, and then no one will ever agree to do so ever again.”
Gertrude seemed to give that some thought, but snapped right out of it when Corvin gasped in surprise. Peter, who’d helped with dragging up the dick-bitten Fae, growled and stepped in front of Theo. Carl had shifted.
“Hi. Just me. Uh, Theo, mind handing me my clothes?”
“You’re—Carl!?” Corvin squealed. “I just scratched you behind the ears!”
“Hi, Coconut. I don’t mind a good scratch.”
Mike lifted his head. “Coconut?”
Corvin’s face flushed red, and he shot Theo a wide-eyed, guilty look. Well, that was one way to give their secret lunch date away.
“Because…I have a Pineapple Mike. You, you know. When we combine into one, we make glorious pina colada, which sounds really off when I say it like that.”
Mike let his head drop onto Corvin’s shoulder. “I think I like it.”
Corvin petted Mike’s chest. “Good. Excellent. We can have them at the wedding. The drinks, that is.”
Laurette turned toward them with uncanny speed while Theo dug Carl’s clothes out of his bag.
“Did you say wedding? A wedding? Lovelies!”
“Umm,” Corvin said.
Laurette narrowed his eyes at Corvin. Carl caught the bundle of clothes Theo tossed him—not too easy since Peter wouldn’t move out of the way and kept maneuvering himself between them.
“A real, full-on wedding?” Laurette said.
“Uuuhmm.” Corvin blinked at him.
Laurette tilted his head. “Did I hear wedding?”
Corvin cleared his throat. “Did you… I mean, did you maybe want to come?”
Laurette clapped his hands and bounced on his toes.
“Oh, if you’d want to have me, I’d be so delighted!
I love a wedding. Did you know I can officiate?
I have all the human certifications too.
And the wardrobe! I mean, I’m a bit out of practice, but just in case you need someone to help out. Just something to keep in mind.”
“My mom’s doing most of the planning,” Mike said.
“We’ll let her know. Also about this whole mess.” Corvin gestured around the kitchen. “I can’t believe we’re in Faerie. Can’t believe there is a Faerie.”
Peter had relaxed now that Carl had pants on. “We should get all of you back home.”
Theo was looking forward to being back home, but that wasn’t enough to dispel that nagging feeling, that sense of something wrong having happened here that shouldn’t have, which had stuck to him ever since Cloudtree had taken him upstairs. Or maybe even earlier than that.
Theo turned to Cloudtree. “Hey, if you’re coming, now’s probably the time to grab what you want to take with you. From upstairs, you know.”
Cloudtree froze before nodding in slow motion. “Yes, I… Yes.”
Peter was suddenly very close when he asked, “You went upstairs?”
“Yeah, for the pokers, and—” Which was when Theo took a real look at Peter. He seemed pale. Or paler than usual anyway, and he had dark rings under his eyes while his lips looked about ready to crack. He’d never seen anything like that in Peter. Theo put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Peter smiled at him. “Almost, dearest. I’ll be okay when you’re back home.”
“Yeah, but you look—”
Peter brushed a quick kiss across his lips. “Dearest. I’m well, you’re well. Corvin and Michael are well and have found a rather unusual couple’s name. There is nothing to worry about.”
“Exactly.” Laurette pulled on the silver chain he’d put around the older Fae’s neck, the one who was bleeding from his shoulder and arm. “We’re going to have to drop these off first.”
Cloudtree inhaled sharply. “You mean to drop them in the well?”
“Huh.” Laurette cocked his head. “There’s an idea.
But no. I’m thinking of dropping them with one of the Elven lords whose property borders this one.
We’re related, so I suppose they owe me.
I’m having trouble keeping track of who owes who what, to be quite honest with you, it’s all rather tedious and boring.
But I don’t see them minding taking in these three for trespassing. ”
The older Fae, the stepfather, snorted. “The only trespassers are you! Elvish scoundrels and human pigs! You intrude—”
Laurette made a hand gesture, and the Fae’s lips pressed together while his eyes went wide.
Theo saw the fury in them. It was an expression he’d seen before, and he huddled closer to Peter.
It was an instinctive reaction, and he felt sorry for it a moment later.
Peter clearly isn’t okay, and I’m acting all dainty.
Laurette examined his nails while coiling the silver chain around his fingers. “As I was saying, we’ll drop them there. My cousin or—to tell you the truth, I’m not exactly sure how we’re related. It’s like the issue of who owes who; involved, way too complicated to keep track of, and boring.”
“Boring isn’t the word you use for incest, actually,” Theo said.
Laurette shot him a grin. “Right you are. I do like the incisive comments. Anyway, we’re not big fans of incest. It’s simply a large and branching family tree.”
Chambord sniggered, and this time, it was Gertrude yanking the silver chain around his neck.
Laurette looked amused about that, then went on.
“Can you imagine that? Marrying cousins and owing them? It would be entirely terrible. Besides, it’s more of a Fae thing.
And a habit of human royalty, if memory serves.
All I know is that me and the lord beyond the moors are family, and I can talk them into finding a use for these three, conquering the territory, and maybe cleaning this fucking hovel and making it livable again.
Do you still intend to collect your things and come live in the human realm, Cloudtree? ”
Cloudtree nodded. “Yes. That is unchanged. There is naught that holds me here, nor—”
“Yes it is. Go get your things, then, like Theo suggested. Gertrude! Get ready. We’re leaving. Chop-chop and all that. Everyone ready to go?”
There were groans of agreement all around.
By the time they had delivered the three Fae to an Elven lord who seemed all too happy to take them off their hands so long as it meant getting Laurette gone too, Peter’s face really looked drawn.
Theo felt useless. He was envying Corvin, because Mike would at least lean on him, while Peter just kept smiling and assuring Theo that nothing was the matter.
It had Theo pissed off and ready to tell Peter so to his face when they stepped into a circle of standing stones in the garden of Laurette’s maybe-cousin’s palatial home.
“I will not miss you. Please don’t visit again,” said the cousin, their hair a shimmery light brown instead of Laurette’s gold.
“I shall attempt not to! Especially not for any sort of official gatherings or the like. Thank you for the honeyberries. Toodles!”
As it had when they’d traveled to Faerie, the air around them shifted, the colors spun and spiraled. The sounds returned, the chimes and the gong, and Theo’s ears popped.
With a bright flash, everything stopped.
A look around told Theo they were pretty much where they’d started, in Laurette’s garden.
The transition was jarring. After getting somewhat used to Faerie’s brightness, the colors Theo had known all his life seemed dimmer now, deeper and darker.
Not dull exactly, but also not like he’d always seen them.
He wasn’t sure what to make of it, and as they picked their way back through the garden with all its flowers, Theo now wondered if the blooms had been selected to reacclimatize visitors from Faerie to what was normal here.
“That was exciting, wasn’t it?” Laurette held the door back into the house open for them. “Though perhaps we shouldn’t do it again. Not that anyone got themselves kidnapped intentionally at all—that would be a rude suggestion. Who’d like to stay for cake?”
“I have to take Mike home, make sure he rests,” Corvin said.
“Peter’ll drive you.” Theo turned to Peter. “Right?”
“Of course.”
He looks so fucking tired. What’s wrong with him?
Theo nodded and went back inside first, unfastening the clasp at his throat.
“I’ll just—”
“Theodore. Let me help you with that.”
Despite himself, Theo stopped and turned, raising his chin so Peter could help him with the cloak.
Laurette walked past them. “You did well for a first-timer to Faerie.” He glanced at Peter. “And you did well for a vampire in Faerie, Viking or otherwise.”
Peter’s lips pressed tight before he said, “Thank you, Lord Laurette.”
“Phew, why so formal? We’re all friends here. Gertrude! Make tea. And maybe coffee. Cloudtree’s probably never had a flat white, so get on that, please.”
He walked off, and just as he did, the clasp gave, and the fabric of the cloak rushed off Theo’s shoulders. Peter caught it.
“There. All done.”
Am I blushing? Fucking hell. Why am I blushing? “Th-thank you.”
“My pleasure, Theodore. Don’t forget your laptop.”
Theo looked away, finding it suddenly difficult to meet Peter’s eyes. “Right. Don’t forget to leave that sword here. I’ll just go grab my stuff.”
“Please do.”
Peter folded the cloak and put it on the table along with the sword. His fingers trembled. Theo saw it when he glanced at Peter while taking the hammer and unused screwdriver out of his bag and packing up his laptop. He narrowed his eyes.