Chapter 18
I climb out of Andrews’ truck and say goodbye as we part ways. We’ve been parked in his driveway for ten minutes now, but as soon as he put the truck in park we became… preoccupied, for lack of a better word.
What I thought was going to be a gentle kiss goodbye ended up turning into a full on make-out session in his truck. If he didn’t have work to do at Drip this morning, and I didn’t have to get clocked in for my own job, who knows how much further it could have gone.
As I cross his front yard to my house, I can feel him watching me. Just as I open the front door, I turn and look back at him with a smile, and confirm my feeling.
Last night, I thought that our steamy session was only because of convenience and liquor. I’m right next door. We’re both available and lonely. Of course, it would make sense for the two of us to enjoy one another’s company. Today, however, was different. We held hands in his truck; we chatted, and he took me to a special place for my opinion on a tough decision. It’s almost like… we could actually become something.
I have to admit; I like this guy. A lot. Is it a good idea? Absolutely not. While he may live back in Fawn Creek soon, I am still not convinced that I want to stay here. Sure, this short time since I’ve been back has been great. However, do I really want to make Fawn Creek my permanent home all over again? Do I want to be intertwined with my parents again? I shake my head. It just makes so little sense. But what does anymore?
I step inside the house and head straight to the dining room. When Hazel moved in, one wall of the dining room already had floor to ceiling shelves. I’m sure they were actually made for holding fine china and knick-knacks, but Hazel used them to create her own library. She wasn’t exactly a fine china kind of woman after all.
I run my hand along the books on the shelf until I land on one that just seems to stick out to me. The book’s spine proclaims the title, “The Bookshop on Main.” I smirk at the book and pull it towards me, quickly discovering that it isn’t a novel at all. I open the cover and discover that it’s a box painted to look like a book. The detailed paint job on the outside makes it look remarkably like worn leather. Inside, I find a note and an envelope. I quietly unfold the paper and find that it’s addressed to me. Seeing my name in her handwriting brings back a rush of emotions that I wasn’t quite expecting, but again Hazel always seems to know exactly when I need her the most. Through blurry eyes, I unfold the paper and read.
Tyler,
If you’re reading this, I can only assume that I have gone to heaven to be with Grandpa Karl and you are the new owner of my house.
I know you left Fawn Creek some time ago, and I’m sure you are wondering why I left this place to you. No, it wasn’t some elaborate scheme to get you back to your hometown, but more so because I want you to always have a place that you can call home. Maybe you want to fix it up and keep it as a place to stay when you come home to visit. Maybe you’ll rent it out to someone else in town. Perhaps you’ll sell it and use the money to buy a house somewhere far from here.
What you do with this place is completely up to you, but I hope that this house at least brings you back to this town I love so much, even if just for a little while. I hope you can spend some days enjoying the simplicity of a small town, surrounded by the people that love you. Allow this town to slow you down and find you some peace.
And, just in case you have any inkling to do so, I want you to know that I still think you really need to open up your bookstore. While I can’t be your first customer anymore, I’ll still always be cheering for you from above.
I left half of my savings to you, and I feel like that should be more than enough to get started on your dream. You could open one in Fawn Creek, your new town, or somewhere you’ve never been before. It’s all up to you.
Whatever you do with it, I hope you use it to follow your dreams. You were made to change the world. You just might need a little push to do it.
Love,
Hazel
P.S. I found your old business plans and sketches for your shop and included them with this letter. Maybe they will inspire you to open your store after all these years. I hope if nothing else; it gives you a smile. I love you, kiddo.
I fold the note back to the way I found it and remove the yellowed papers from inside the manila envelope. The image almost takes my breath away. I don’t remember drawing this photo, but it becomes so familiar once its in front of me. I had drawn the small brick building downtown. The windows are covered in signs proclaiming, “BOOK SALE!”. The banner across the front door declares the name of the business as “The Bookshop on Main.” Just like what was written on the faux book I found it in. The second page was full of business information, as dreamt up by a ten-year-old, of course. I wrote the different sections the store would have (non-fiction, fiction, kids, religious, cookbooks, etc.) and I had detailed drawings of the kids’ area complete with plenty of bean bag chairs for comfortable seating. I had it all figured out at ten years old. If only I knew I could make it work as an adult. Even with the money that’s coming to me, is it worth the risk? What if I fail and lose everything Hazel worked so hard to save for me?
Right now, I can only put my predicament to the side and clock in for work. The rest of the day goes by in a blur. When I’m not busy assisting customers, I find pockets of time to work on painting the house. As the evening draws near, and I’m just finishing up the second coat in the bathroom, I’m interrupted by a knock at the door.
I can’t help but immediately feel excited. While Andrew didn’t tell me he was coming over tonight, I have a feeling it’s going to be him, anyway. Who else could it possibly be? After spending the last few evenings together, I’m enjoying our new little routine.
“Who is it?” I call out across the room, as I head towards the door.
“Uber Eats.” Andrew yells back from the porch.
I grin and pull the door open. I’m half expecting him to pull me in for a kiss, but his hands are full. He walks right past me to the kitchen with a cast iron pot in his oven mitt covered hands.
“I didn’t know this was a daily thing.” I say, following him into the kitchen. “Good thing it was your turn, though, otherwise you might have starved tonight.”
“You had a busy day.” He says, looking around the room. “It looks so good in here.” He puts the pot on the stove and finally leans in to kiss me lightly. He presses his forehead against mine and kisses my nose. “Be right back.” He whispers, before turning and heading right back out the door.
I move to the sink to wash my hands and as I’m drying them on a floral dishtowel; he comes back in with a cake pan full of cinnamon rolls.
“Are we having breakfast for dinner?” I ask, moving towards the covered pot on the stove. But once I lift the lid, a savory scent hits my nose, catching me off guard. “Chili?” I ask, confused.
“What, you don’t like chili?” He asks, leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest with a raised brow.
“I like chili.” I scrunch my nose. “But I’m confused about the cinnamon rolls.”
“Don’t act like you’ve never had chili with cinnamon rolls.”
“No.” I shake my head. “That’s not a thing.”
“You went to school here in Fawn Creek, right?”
“Yes.”
“We used to eat this in the cafeteria like once a month.” He says.
“I most certainly did not eat chili with cinnamon rolls in the cafeteria. Maybe only old people like you were served that.” I say, scrunching my nose.
“What a minute. How old do you think I am?” He asks as he works on pulling bowls and a plate from the cabinet.
“Based on your food choices, I’m thinking at least 87,” I respond, crossing my arms.
“I’m 33! How old are you?” He asked, backing away from me suspiciously.
“I’m 28.” I ponder for a second. “So, maybe they stopped the chili and cinnamon roll thing after your class.”
“Nope, my little brother is 22. They definitely served it to him, too. I remember Grandma used to make it for us all the time and we talked about it. I can’t believe you don’t remember this.”
“I definitely never mixed the two together, if they served them this way.” I take a seat at the table.
“Well, try it.” He sets a bowl in front of me and takes a seat. “It’s a Midwestern delicacy.”
I roll my eyes. “Since you have such strong feelings about this combination, I will try it just for you, but I will not like it.”
I tear off a piece of roll while scrunching my nose. Cautiously, I dip the bread into the chili and bring it to my mouth. However, I am pleasantly surprised once the flavors hit my tongue. The sweetness of the cinnamon roll mixes with the spicy flavor of the chili, and I don’t know why, but the combination works. It works really, really well actually. “Holy crap. That’s fantastic.” I say, before scooping another spoonful of chili into my mouth. “Who would have thought that those completely different things would be so good together?”
“Kinda like me and you.” He says with a wink.
His words make me melt, deep at my core and I know for sure that I’m in a lot deeper than I ever planned to be.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
“Is that a rooster?” Andrew mumbles into my hair. A small sliver of light peeks into the room between my bedroom curtains, awakening us from our first night together.
“His name is Fernandez. I’ve been wondering where he is.” I say, rolling over and snuggling in close to Andrew’s chest, breathing in his scent.
He leans down to kiss my forehead. “Friend of yours?”
“More like frenemies.” I scoff. “He woke me up on my first morning here, and I haven’t seen him since. I’ve been worried about him.”
“Worried enough to name him, I see,” He jokes.
“It makes it harder to hate him if he has a name. I have no idea where he belongs. I didn’t know you could have chickens in city limits, actually.”
“I don’t think you can,” he answers, pulling me in tighter. “If I remember correctly there was a fight about that at a city council meeting.”
I look up at him. “Do you think he’s lonely? Maybe we can find a farm to take him to, so he has some friends.”
Andrew rolls me onto my back and lies on top of me, kissing my nose. “You’re really worried about him, aren’t you?”
I nod. “I am. Life is really lonely when you don’t have a community. I don’t want Fernandez to be alone.”
He kisses my lips gently. “You are so freaking weird.” He says with a sigh. “But I really like that about you. I’ll see what I can do about finding Fernandez a place to go.”
“Thank you.”
He rolls over next to me and pulls me close. “I could get used to this.”
As soon as I hear those words, my heart drops into my stomach. As much as I enjoy what is happening at the moment, I really enjoyed last night even more. After dinner, we sat down on the couch to talk. Except there wasn’t much talking at all. We quickly picked up where we had left off the night before, this time with no interruptions.
Shivers run down my skin as I remember him carrying me to my bedroom, where we had some of the most incredible sex of my life. It’s insane to me because usually there is something awkward about your first time, but not with him. Everything was just so natural. There was no learning curve. Almost as though we already knew one another’s bodies. Afterwards, we fell asleep in each other’s arms like we’ve done it a million times over. I’m not afraid to admit that I would love to replay last night over and over at least a million more times. It’s clear that I’m falling for him, and it terrifies me.
Once again, I’m facing the fact that I’m going to have to give up what I want for the man I want to be with. He’s most likely going to settle in Fawn Creek, and live out the rest of his days alongside his family. Which means, if I want him and we make it work, I will be right here too. It’s crazy, isn’t it? All these years I couldn’t wait to get out of this town, to build a new life. Now, everything I want in life could be possible right back in this same old place. The only question is, am I ready to be back here?
We lay in silence, staring into each other’s eyes for a few moments. He runs a finger along my jawline and smiles softly. His eyes hold a bit of a sparkle that I haven’t seen since the day we met. I hate thinking that in a few days this will all be over and who knows what will happen between us? I wish I could freeze time.
When we finally separate, he rolls over to check the time on his phone. “I hate to say it, but I’m going to have to go. I’m doing some more work at Drip today.” He slowly climbs out of bed to get dressed. As he pulls on his jeans, he looks down at me with soft eyes. “Can I see you this afternoon?”
“Yes, please.” I whisper as he leans down to kiss me goodbye. I let my fingers graze across his torso. The touch of his skin under my fingers sends shivers down my spine.
“I can’t wait.” He whispers back.
My stomach turns again as I watch him leave.
Me too. And that’s what I’m afraid of.