Chapter 23
Saturday morning I wake up with my head still swimming from the night before. I move through the house, just going through the motions. After the way I walked out on Andrew last night, I feel even more unsettled than I have in months, if that’s even possible.
It’s the end of July, and the hottest time of year in Kansas, but it’s early enough in the day that the temperature is at least tolerable. If I’m going to get out for a run, now is my only chance.
Within minutes, I’m locking the door behind me and jogging towards the downtown area. After a lot of practice, I’ve figured out how to jog three miles in this place that’s just under a mile wide. It requires quite a bit of zigging and zagging through almost every neighborhood.
Once my run is complete, I make my way into the business district. Just as I am approaching Drip, my eyes wander towards the building next door, like usual. I have to do a double take to catch that the “For Sale” sign is now topped with the words “Under Contract.”
It shouldn’t upset me. Realistically, I’m aware of that. The building needs more work than a coat of paint and some cleaning. Even with the chunk of money Hazel left for me, it’ll surely never be enough to turn that place into a storefront on my own. Still yet, it stings knowing someone else will move in there. It hurts even more knowing that I’ll have to see someone in the building I loved so much every time I come downtown. I shake my head, trying to clear the negative thoughts.
Was I going to buy that building? No, of course not. If I was going to, I would have done it by now. The sale means good things for Fawn Creek because that means that another business will be eventually opening in town. I need to focus on myself and what I can do with my life.
I push the door open to Drip and step towards the counter to give Devin my order. The sound of Cassidy’s voice makes me jump.
“Hey girl! That was some party last night, wasn’t it?”
I feel the color drain from my face. The wedding reception. I missed all of it and it’s because I couldn’t stand the thought of spending the evening in the same space as Andrew. At least Cassidy didn’t seem to notice my absence.
“It was great!” I agree, hoping she won’t call my bluff. “What are you doing at work, though? Shouldn’t you be recovering?”
“Oh, I plan to! I just need to make sure the event center was cleaned up and then I’m turning the keys back in. We hired someone from Owen to take care of it, but you know me. I have trust issues.” She laughs. “I’m going to make sure it’s up to my standards and then I’m going to put on my pajamas and stay that way until Monday.”
I pick up my coffee from the counter and stuff some cash in the tip jar. “That sounds like a good plan.” I move towards the door and wave behind me. “I’ll see you next week! Get some rest.”
Half a block away from my house, I can see the floral arrangement on my porch. All morning, I’ve told myself that Andrew and I are done. I’ve worked to convince myself that I don’t care about him and what he does next. I tell myself that I don’t care if I ever speak to him again. But those flowers… Those stupid flowers make my heart flutter and I feel excited and I want nothing else in the world but for them to be from him.
I pick up the arrangement and eyeball the card, while unlocking my front door. The overwhelming scent of the pink lilies reach my nose and I pause for a second to enjoy it. Once inside, I place the flowers on the table and reach for the card.
Tyler,
I’m so sorry about everything. If you’ll forgive me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.
Love, The Asshole of Fawn Creek
P.S. Text me if you’re willing to give me another chance.
I sit the card down on the table and look back at the flowers. In my heart, of course I want to try again. But what if I get all wrapped up in him, only for him to leave again? Is it worth the risk?
I decide to talk things through with Avery, hoping she will have some insight for me.
Tyler: Andrew left me flowers today while I was out on my run. He left me a note to text him if I am willing to give him another chance.
Avery: Did you text him?
Tyler: No. I’m not sure if I’ll be making a huge mistake by giving him another chance.
Avery: Do you still have feelings for him?
Tyler: Yes.
Avery: So, what’s the problem?
Tyler: What if he disappears again? What if he waits until we’ve been together for six months and he just ghosts me?
Avery: Or what if it works out? What if you guys get married and have babies and live happily ever after?
Tyler: So, I just forgive him?
Avery: Maybe? I know he isn’t going to want me to tell you this, but I’m going to. A couple of years ago, Andrew was engaged.
Tyler: Oh, to who? Someone from here?
Avery: No, he met her in Texas. They were engaged for a long time, but he could never get her to commit to a wedding date. Then suddenly, he came home to visit his grandpa and when he got back there earlier than expected; he caught her in his bed with another guy.
Tyler: Oh no. I bet that broke his heart.
Avery: It did. I shouldn’t even know about it, but you know he was friends with my brother growing up and word got around town pretty quickly.
Avery: So, I’m not saying it’s an excuse, but maybe that explains why he jumped to conclusions. I think you should go for it, cautiously. Talk through things with him and let him know you will not stand for him ever pulling that shit again. I think when he knows you are all in, that will help him to not run at the first sign of trouble.
Tyler: I guess I have a lot to think about.
I spend the rest of the day avoiding the card on my table. I clean the house, do laundry, bake some cookies, and then finally, I settle into the bathtub with a can of White Claw and a book to relax. It’s no use. The only thing I end up reading are the same few lines repeatedly.
After several minutes of failed attempts at relaxation, I give in. I grab my phone and fire off a text before I lose the courage.
Tyler: Hey.
I don’t even have time to put my phone down on the floor next to the tub before he answers.
Andrew: Hi, beautiful. I was thinking I would not hear from you. How was your day?
Tyler: It was okay. Thank you for the flowers, by the way. They’re beautiful. How was your day?
Andrew: Busy. Better now that I’m talking to you.
Tyler: Good.
Andrew: Tyler, I really am sorry for freaking out and disappearing the way I did. I have kicked myself every day since then because I knew I had run away from the first good thing I’ve had in a long time. I just didn’t know how to fix it once I was gone, or if you would even want me to.
Andrew: I understand if you’re not ready to trust me yet with your heart, but I am prepared to spend every day for as long as it takes to show you how much you mean to me.
Tyler: I’m willing to try this again… cautiously. But, we have to set some ground rules. And the very first rule is that we have to communicate. If either of us has a problem, we have to talk about it. Not run from it. I can’t handle getting hurt again.
Andrew: Never again. I promise.
Andrew: Any chance I can take you out for lunch tomorrow?
Tyler: Sure! I didn’t realize you were still here.
Andrew: I was trying not to come on too strong. ?? But, I’d really like to see you. I’ll pick you up at 11:00.
Tyler: I’ll be ready.
I spend the morning going through the motions while I wait for Andrew to arrive. After a quick run and half a pot of coffee, I finally talk myself into sitting down and opening a new book from my Tbr pile. Of course, it’s a lost cause because, after every paragraph, my eyes drift to the bird clock on the wall.
I smile dearly at the clock that I recently recovered from a box in the guest room. Every hour showcases a different type of bird, and when the clock strikes that hour, the clock chimes mimicking the bird in question. Finally, at eleven, the chirping sound of the White-breasted Nuthatch rings through the room, and Andrew knocks on the door.
I gently pull the door open and look up at him. It’s strange because every part of me wants to jump into his arms and kiss him. However, I remind myself that I’m being cautious, both with myself and with my heart, so I refrain. “Hi.” I say instead.
Andrew, however, must not feel as awkward as I do in the moment. He moves forward and closes the space between us by pulling me into a hug. As much as I know I should resist, I don’t. The feel of his arms around me is comforting and safe.
“I missed you.” He whispers into my hair.
I melt into him and breathe in the scent of his body wash. “I missed you, too.” I tell him, meaning it with my entire heart.
He steps back and smiles gently at me. “Are you hungry?”
My stomach growls in response, loudly enough for both of us to hear, causing him to chuckle.
He gently takes my hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
Once we are in the truck, I buckle my seat belt and turn to him. “Well, where are you taking me?”
He smirks. “Somewhere special.”
“Oh, Red Maple?” I tease, suggesting the downtown diner.
He snickers and shakes his head. “No, ma’am. I’m saving fancy places like that for our second or third date.” He motions his head to the backseat of his extended cab. “I packed us a picnic. I hope that’s okay.”
I grin and squeeze his hand on the center console to show my approval. “Sounds perfect.” I say.
Within minutes, we approach the old metal gate that we visited once before. The property he told me he was buying now has a SOLD sign at the driveway entrance. I marvel at the patches of wildflowers blooming on either side of the gate.
I turn to him with a smile. “So, you made an offer?”
He grins. “Actually, we closed last week. This is officially mine and my brother’s land.”
“That’s amazing. Congratulations.” I pause and continue to watch out the window. “Where are you staying?”
“I’ll show you.” He says, making his way up the driveway as the little white house comes into view. Now, however, there’s a camper parked next to it. “There’s my humble abode.” He boasts proudly, pointing to the recreational camping equipment.
“Oh.” I say, looking at the little rundown camper. This is a far cry from the type of place I would picture someone living in full time. The camper itself is quite small, honestly it’s smaller than most of the minivan’s I see driving around Fawn Creek. The exterior looks almost as though it’s been painted with spray paint to bring some sort of cohesive look to the metal panels that have been replaced over the years.
“I know what you’re thinking. The camper is just a temporary solution. I’m building a barndominium. It’s just going to take some time.” He says.
“You’re building a barn?” I ask, puzzled.
He laughs. “No, a barndominium is a house and shop combination. The exterior is completely metal, so it will go up rather quickly. I have a group from the Amish community slated to take care of that part for me. The rest I can handle on my own, little by little.” He pulls up a picture on his phone and shows me. “It’ll be really nice once it’s done.”
I nod and take in the photos in front of me. The front of the house looks like a typical farmhouse. It has a white metal exterior with a large porch and wooden beams. The back of the house has three garage doors leading to the shop. “That’s beautiful.” I tell him. “So, does that mean you are going to be living there before winter?” That camper can’t possibly be warm enough to sleep in once we hit below freezing temperatures.
“Yes. If nothing else, the structure will be up, and I’ll be able to park the camper inside the shop to keep myself out of the elements.” He assures me with a smile.
I guess at least he has it all figured out.
He pulls the truck to a stop and puts the gearshift in park before turning to face me. His face softens and a wave of seriousness washes over him. “Tyler. I need you to understand something. I’m in this for the long haul and by that I mean I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry that I hurt you and I’m so sorry I disappeared.” He pauses. “I got into my head about things that happened to me in my past, and about people that have hurt me before. I realize now that you are not those people. You do not deserve to pay for the crap that other people put me through. And I swear I am going to spend as long as it takes proving to you how sorry I am and how much you mean to me.”
A tear escapes down my face and before I can wipe it away, he brushes his thumb against my cheek and does it for me before he continues. “You are everything that I have been waiting for, for my entire life. Everything in my life that has gone wrong until now finally makes sense. I can see now that nothing ever worked out because it wasn’t with you. You are my missing piece and I can’t wait to show you how much you mean to me.”
He leans forward and gently kisses me.
He is going to make being cautious a lot more difficult than I imagined.