Chapter 30
Partners and Lovers. Forever.
ADITYA
“Does Sir Wilfred ever smile?”
Jimmy asks as he takes a swig from his beer can.
We are alone. The last guests left at ten, and the gang partied till midnight.
I don't care what the time is right now.
Jimmy is with me, below a clear night sky sprinkled with millions of stars, forming a roof over the peaks of the mountains surrounding the valley.
My world is at peace again in Jimmy's arms. The big, gruff guy is a cuddle beast. He squeezes me in his arms, checking if I am still with him.
I nuzzle his neck, breathing him in, and close my eyes.
“Why do you want him to? The British colonel is hard to please.”
“Why not? Should he not be happy for us? We are together again. You invited him to your launch party. He will have his pictures posted all over social media. The least he can do is show some cheer.”
I chuckle at his petulant voice and tap his lips to break his pout. “I am afraid Sir Wilfred is above such mundane human nuances. He is too far gone in age to show any emotion.”
“Shh, don't call him old. We should not upset him. He set up our first meeting.” Jimmy puts his finger on my mouth, caressing my lips.
“Hmm, he is a great matchmaker.” I tuck my hand below his shirt and run my fingers on his chest, staring at Sir Wilfred's shiny black statue. “What do you think he wants us to do now?” I keep my head tucked on Jimmy’s shoulder, not wanting him to glimpse my fear.
Since he stepped onto the launch event stage, my heart hasn’t found a steady rhythm.
“I am not doing the acting gigs.”
Jimmy’s words surprise me. I tilt his chin and study his face. Jimmy is calm. He doesn’t blink. His lips are pursed in determination.
“Why?” I am confused.
“I don’t want to leave what I have. The simple folk of this town. A rainbow family. Sahil and Bhatia Ji. But most important of all, I cannot let you go. You are what I want.” Warm wisps of air fall on my lips as Jimmy peeps into my soul with his doe eyes. My heart skitters.
“Jimmy, don’t give up on your dreams. A whole world awaits you. Your charisma, your talent, and your aspirations. You should explore before settling with me.”
“I am not giving up anything.” He breaks our locked gazes. “I will explore the world, but with my history professor.” He rubs the edge of the beer can. “Aditya, will you help me complete my education? I want to do the sports physiotherapy course in Delhi.”
Oh. Jimmy plans to move. For me? I am free now, or at least about to be soon. Did Jatin say something? Jatin is relentless in making plans once I move back. Jimmy is more than welcome to stay with me if he wishes.
“But, what about your career as a model and your acting?” I will support him, but why is he giving up on his dream? He wanted his face on billboards and magazines.
“I will take a few print assignments to fund the course. Nothing more. The world of modelling and acting is a trishna. A mirage. I would never fit in, and I am done with make-believe worlds.” Jimmy’s voice softens to a whisper at the last words.
He hides his hurt from me by turning away. I understand. For however long we are together, I will carry the burden. Till the day his forgiveness cleanses my soul. “Jimmy, I am with you wherever you want to go. Whatever you want to do in your life.”
“Will you keep your house here?” His vulnerable voice. His unsaid ‘please.’ The constant rubbing of the beer can all hit close to the heart. I did this to us. Dug this trench of doubt.
“If you move in with me?” The papers are on my desk. I have signed on the dotted line, accepting the offer. If he agrees, the documents will make good kindling for a bonfire night.
Jimmy gathers me in his arms. “Yes,” He whispers to my ears. “Here and in Delhi.” He breaks our hug and stares at me. “Will you be able to join me for the last year of the program in Delhi?”
“Hmm, I will need to discuss things with the school authorities, but I am sure we can make this work,” I assure him.
“Yes, we will make this work.” Jimmy pumps a fist in the air. “With our friends, with our family. You and me. We will live as partners. As lovers till the marriage laws are amended.”
His face shines with delight and a firm belief in our future.
Same-sex marriage? I don’t want to rain down on the hopes blooming in his heart.
We in India are a long way from those rainbow arches.
Gosh, I have craved what he wants for so long — a space to share the unbridled joys of a relationship.
A place to give myself as much as to receive love, filling the empty spaces of my life, spaces I had locked away until now.
Will our laws ever give people like Jimmy and me or Kiron and Sudhanshu legitimacy? Can the heteronormative world see beyond their black-and-white-tinted glasses to what matters most? To what we have here in our chests. Our love, affection, and aspirations to live our lives as our true selves.
Those dreams of acceptance seem distant, like a ship at the horizon's edge. We often stand to see if the silhouette will become clearer. If the ship will sail our way. I don’t want to wait and miss the beauty of what is near me.
Jimmy and the light burning inside me for him.
I place his hand over my thumping heart.
“Yes, Jimmy. You and me. Partners and lovers. Friends and family. Forever.”
“You are a romance writer. You must believe in happy endings.” Jimmy turns my face toward him.
I gaze into his longing eyes. Can I give him the love he deserves?
Hasn't someone said, ‘A happy ending depends on when you end the story?’ But why talk about endings?
Instead, why not work on happy moments — when we cook, fight over the laundry, or decide whether we need a new refrigerator?
If we can keep the love in those moments, we will find the joys of living.
I bop our noses and smile, snuggling closer to him. “The eternal search for a happy ending only makes one live in fear. You and I will work to make happy moments in our lives — happy for now — like this.” I move and lie over him, our chests aligned. “Do you hear the beats synced together?”
With a wide grin plastered on his face, Jimmy raises his head and kisses me. “Happy happening, Addy.”
A Buransh flower falls between us. Jimmy looks to the sky before turning back to me. His face is lit like the sunshine.
“See, I told you. Sir Wilfred is not a heartless, stone-faced, mmph...”
I kiss and muffle his words. Sir Wilfred and the rest of the world can wait. This moment is for Jimmy and me. This is ‘our’ moment.