4. Ryan
CHAPTER 4
RYAN
I ’m always prepared. Always . But tonight, I wasn’t thinking, and sure as shit, I wasn’t banking on June letting me near her again. But she did, even though I still haven’t told her why I was a jerk to her yesterday.
Now isn’t the time to confessthough. The news that my mother is dying is not something I want to bring up when we just received good news about the team.
I’m sitting on my bench, texting Jake and Lachy in the group chat and hoping they’ll be able to reply soon, when June returns from the restroom. My head snaps up, and the world seems to go off-kilter. Everything becomes brighter when she’s around. She’s sunshine in a cup, and I want to drink her up every fucking day and night. Is that what falling in love feels like?
She’s wearing a pair of old sweatpants and a T-shirt, but she’s the sexiest woman in the world. My pulse accelerates, something that happens often in her presence. I smile as euphoria sweeps over me.
“What are you smiling about?” she asks.
“Just happy to see you.” I reach over with my good arm and take her hand. “Come here.”
“I was gone for only a minute.”
“Too fucking long.”I kiss her belly, making her giggle and squirm. “Oh my God. Are you ticklish?”
“No.”She tries to move away, but I snake my arm around her waist, keeping her in place.
“How did I not know you’re ticklish?”
“I’m not,”she insists, but the corners of her lips tilt up.
I arch a brow, then kiss her belly again.
“Stop it,”she says through laughter.
Grinning from ear to ear, I say, “Oh, this is good. Wait until I tell the boys.”
“You’re evil, Bertrand.”
My brows arch. “Bertrand? No one calls me by my last name, not even the guys on the team.”
“Oh. What do they call you then?”
I shake my head. “I have the worst nickname.”
She frowns. “It can’t be that bad.”
“It’s Gosling.”
Her pretty eyes widen. “As in Ryan Gosling?”
I nod. “Yup.”
“How did they come up with that nickname?”
“They said I looked like a movie star, and since my name is Ryan and I’m from Canada...”
“Wait. You’re Canadian?”Her voice rises in pitch. “How did I not know that?”
I laugh. “That’s a good question. Are you saying you didn’t google me?”
She bites her lower lip, and her cheeks turndeliciously pink. “I didn’t. And you don’t have a Canadian accent.”
“That’s true.”
“Where in Canada?”
“Montreal.”
My chest gets heavy. Speaking about my hometown brings my mother to the forefront of my mind. I try to push the thought back, but her illness is all I can think about now.
June touches my face. “What’s wrong?”
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes for a moment. “I didn’t want to talk about it tonight, but I might as well.”
“Ryan, babe, you can tell me anything.”
I look into June’s eyes,crazyhappy to hear her endearment despite the darkness swirling in my chest. “I like it when you call me babe.”
She smiles. “Better than Bertrand or Gosling?”
“Definitely.”
“Are you going to tell me what’sgoing onwith you?”
“Right.”I look away, running my fingers through my hair. “My brother called a few hours before we were supposed to watch the game together. He...”I swallow the lump in my throat. “He had bad news about my mother.”
“Oh no.”
I look into her eyes again. “My mother is dying of cancer. The doctors gave her a few months.”
“That’s why your sister came to see you?”
I nod, feeling like a jackass for not letting Mackenzie talk. “I thought she just wanted to meet her famous half-brother. How self-centered was I?”Aderisivelaugh escapes my lips.
“You couldn’t have guessed,andyou had years of hurt and prejudice influencing your behavior.”
“I was an asshole, Peaches, to Mackenzie andyou. There’s no sugarcoating it.”
June’s expression turns solemn. “Yes, you acted like an asshole, but you aren’t one. There’s a difference.”
I don’t speak for a moment while I hold her stare. She’s so sincere and pure, the opposite of me. I don’tfeel deserving ofher attention,yetI can’t walk away.
“I love you,”I blurt out.
Shit. Did those words leave my mouth for real? The way June’s eyes become as round as saucers tells me I did.
“You love me?”she squeaks.
I can’t take it back, not that I want to. I’ve never said the L word to any woman before, and I didn’t think I ever would.
“Yes, I do, Peaches. I’m fucking in love with you, and I’m not sorry.”
“Why would you be sorry?”
“I... I don’t know.”I shake my head. “Maybe because it happened fast... this is new to me.”
She takes my face between her hands. “This is new to metoo, Ryan. And for the record, I’m not sorry either.”
My brows furrow. “You’re not sorry for what?”
“For being in love with youtoo.”
My heart is beating at breakneck speed. I want to shout, pick her up in my arms, but I can’t doany ofthat. Shouting might draw someone’s attention, and with my arm in a sling, the latter is impossible, too. But I can kiss her senseless. I jump to my feet, and I’m seconds away from devouring June’s mouth again when someone tries the lock.
“Why is this door locked?”Wendy Wagner, Malcolm’s wife, asks.
Shit.
June looks at me, panicked.
“Maybe it’s locked because it’s the middle of the night?”Maya, Banksy’s wife, replies.
Why the fuck do they want to get in here?
“We can’t go in there, Mommy?”a young boy asks, and I have my answer. Malcolm’s kid probably wants to see the locker room.
“Ladies, can I help you with something?”Melissa asks.
“Tommy wants to check out the locker room. Do you know where we can get a key?”Wendy asks.
“No, I’m sorry. I don’t have access to that. Snacks have been brought to the meeting room if you want some.”
“Good snacks?” Tommy asks.
“The best kind.”
“Idon’t want to see the locker room anymore, Mommy.”
“Okay, then.”
I let out a breath of relief. “That was close.”
June runs a shaky hand through her hair. “Yeah. Ihave a feelingthe last person who should find out about us is Wendy Wagner.”
“Your intuition isn’t wrong.Sherubs me the wrong waytoo.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket, making my heart skip a beat, thinking it’s Jake or Lachy replying to my texts. But it’s a message from Melissa.
MELISSA: Tell me you’re not in the locker room with June.
ME: Can’t. Is the coast clear?
MELISSA: Yes.
“What’s wrong?”June asks, probably noticing my grimace.
I shake my head. “Nothing. Are you ready to go?”
“Sure.”
It’s not a surprise to find Melissa waiting for us in the hallway.
“You’re a dumbass, Ryan,”she says before I have the chance to open my mouth.
“What? I wanted to show June the locker room.”
“Sure, that’s all you wanted to do.”
“I’m sorry,”June mumbles, softening Melissa’s expression.
“Oh, I’m not upset with you, hon.”
A child’s laughter draws my attention to the end of the hallway. I spot Malcolm’s kid running in our direction, and a second later, Wendy steps out of the meeting room. She freezes when she sees us huddled in front of the locker room, then her eyes narrow.
Fuck. She knows.