32. Ryan
Idrank way too fucking much last night, and I’m now regretting my life choices, especially when my alarm buzzes. It’s not early. I’m not that much of a lunatic. It’s already nine, but after drinking all that fucking booze, I could sleep until noon. A normal person would simply shut the alarm off and go back to sleep, but I’m not like other people. I have to get in a workout sesh now, as planned, or my brain will tell me the world is going to end.
Grunting, I get out of bed and go straight into the shower. It’s counterintuitive to shower before heading to the gym, but I need a blast of cold water to wake up. I prefer to fast before lifting weights, and I can’t stand black coffee, so I make a pre-workout drink and head out.
I don’t hear a sound from behind Lachy’s closed bedroom door, and Jake didn’t come home last night. Not sure if he’s back yet. He must have taken June to his condo in Hermosa Beach. I’d have done that, too, if it were me. So far, both my friends have had alone time with the sexy teacher, and that usually wouldn’t bother me; I’d have moved on to the next woman already. But now, there’s a burning need inside me to create an opportunity to spend quality time with June, too. If only my life weren’t on the verge of imploding. Mackenzie’s ambush at the party last night was an unwelcome surprise. What the hell was she thinking? I was clear that I wanted nothing to do with her.
Hell. Thinking about that girl puts me in a foul mood again. In the elevator, I shove my AirPods into my ears, pick one of my favorite songs by Bad Omens, and let the loud music drown out my thoughts. My eyes are closed when the elevator stops again. That was fast. Or not. It stopped one floor down.
June walks in, looking like a vision. She’s wearing the most basic clothes and no makeup, but I’m drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Maybe I’m already too into her. I smile, fucking happy about this pleasant surprise.
Her pretty eyes widen. “Ryan, hi.”
I pause the song to reply, “Good morning, Peaches. When did you get back from Hermosa Beach?”
Her face becomes red. “Half an hour ago.”
So easily flustered. I love it.
“And where are you off to now?”
“I need to get my car from the garage. They called when I was out with Winston.”
“They’re open on Sunday?”
“Yeah, just until noon.”
Here’s the opportunity I was looking for, delivered to me on a silver platter. Thank you, providence.
“Did you call an Uber?”
“Yeah. It’ll be here in seven minutes.”
“Cancel it. I’ll take you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know, but I want to.” I give her my most dazzling smile, and it works like a charm. June’s eyes drop to my lips, and I bet she’s thinking about the last time we kissed. It’s been too fucking long.
She looks into my eyes again, but her brows are furrowed. “But aren’t you going somewhere?”
“Just the gym. I have time.”
She clenches her jaw and looks away. “I don’t want to impose.”
Shit. Did I fuck up already with her?
“Do you not want to spend time with me?”
Hell, I sound pathetic and desperate.
“What?” She laughs nervously. “That’s not it.”
The elevator door opens at street level, and June steps forward, but I stop her and turn her to me. “I don’t buy it. Did I do something, Peaches?”
She can’t hold my stare for more than a second and drops her gaze to my chest. “You did nothing.”
It finally occurs to me she might have seen me with Mackenzie at the party and drawn the wrong conclusion.
I pinch June’s chin between my thumb and forefinger and lift her face so I can look into her eyes. “Is this about the woman that was with me last night?”
“Ryan... you don’t owe me any explanation.”
I’ll take her reply as a yes. I had no intention of ever talking to anyone about Mackenzie, least of all June. But thanks to that brat’s ambush, I have no choice.
“I want to explain nonetheless.” The elevator stops at the garage, and I tug June’s hand. “Come on. I’ll tell you on the way.”
She lets me steer her to the car and remains quiet, waiting for me to speak. I drive out of the garage first to buy time.
“Did you change your mind about telling me?” June asks after a while.
“No. I’m sorry. It’s not something I like to talk about.” I run a hand through my hair. “The woman you saw last night is my mother’s daughter.”
There’s a pause, and June says, “Your sister, then.”
I swallow hard. “Technically, half-sister. But I never thought of her that way. My mother...” Fuck, this is harder than I thought it’d be. “She wasn’t faithful to my dad, even though he worshipped her. I’m not sure when she started to cheat on him, but when I was old enough, I figured it out.”
“Ryan, I’m so sorry. That must have been hard.”
“Yeah. I confronted her when I found out. She begged me not to tell my father, said it was a one-time mistake, and I believed her. But she kept doing it, and I pretended I didn’t know. My father would have been devastated if he found out. She left us a few years later and never came back.”
My eyes burn, surprising me. I didn’t think reliving those old memories would make me want to cry. I clench my jaw hard, trying to control my emotions.
“Was last night the first time you’ve met your half-sister?”
“Yes. She reached out a few months ago, but I blew her off. Cory—that’s my younger brother—he must have told her where I’d be. He was too young when Mom left us to know what was going on. He doesn’t get why I want nothing to do with that girl.”
“I can’t begin to imagine how painful it must have been for you, and I understand why you’re angry at your mother, but your half-sister isn’t at fault.”
I hold the steering wheel tighter. “That’s what Lachy said. I know it isn’t logical, but Mackenzie is the reason my mother left and never came back. She got knocked up with Mackenzie, and there’s zero chance Dad was the father. He was teaching abroad at the time.”
June doesn’t say anything, and I fear I lost my shot with her. “You must think I’m a jerk for taking out my anger on Mackenzie.”
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think that at all. That’s a deep wound, Ryan. It’s understandable that you would see your half-sister as the reason for your mother’s abandonment, and thus, transfer your anger to her. Thanks for trusting me with your story.”
I blink fast, not quite believing this woman is real. “You’re amazing, do you know that?”
She smiles. “Yes.”
Laughter bubbles up my throat. “And here I thought I’d have to convince you of your awesomeness. It’s good to see your confident side, Peaches.”
She looks ahead. “It’s good to feel confident. Being free of a toxic relationship did that.”
At a red light, I stare at her profile for a bit. She looks serene and beautiful. I’m pleased her confidence boost has nothing to do with us. It needs to come from within to be real.
“I’m so fucking glad you came to the Titans party.”
She looks at me, grinning wide. “Me too.”
My heart skips a beat.
Hell and damn. When did it ever do that for any woman?