42. June
Last night, it was hard to resist Ryan’s invitation to come up to their apartment again. But I’m exhausted after last night’s activities. He also needs to rest. I don’t want to be responsible for getting him in worse shape. Plus the conversation with Maya and Fiona gave me a lot to think about. If I was able to remain completely detached, having more gang bangs wouldn’t be a problem. But the giddiness I feel every time I think about all three of them is enough to make me afraid of my feelings. I don’t want to be that girl who falls in love with the next guy—or three—she meets immediately after getting dumped by her ex.
Winston woke me up me early, for which I was thankful. I forgot to set my alarm, and if it weren’t for him, I’d be late. He was quick doing his morning business, allowing me to leave for work early.
After ten minutes on the road, I receive a message from Jake, asking if I left already. This week they have away games, and they’re leaving in a couple hours. They wanted to say goodbye in person.
Disappointment and guilt lodge in my heart. I’ve been so caught up in my own fears and insecurities that I forgot to check their schedule. I’m an idiot.
ME: Sorry, I had to leave early.
JAKE: That’s okay. We’ll see you when we get back.
RYAN: Not me. You can see me today after work, Peaches. ??
LACHY: FYI. Ryan turns into a needy baby when he’s hurt.
RYAN: Don’t be a hater.
I’m smiling from ear to ear when I reply.
I don’t mind playing nurse.
RYAN: In your face, Lachy.
LACHY: Don’t laugh just yet, bawbag. This will be your doom.
I teach middle school. I’ll survive needy Ryan.
JAKE: Ryan is Sheldon Cooper level.
Driving. Gotta go. Have a safe trip, boys. ??
I put the phone away before I get into a car wreck. I’m behaving badly by texting and driving. Proof that I can’t make smart choices when it comes to those boys. The only way to avoid temptation is to find a new place to live, but that would be a dumb move financially. I need to save up, and these three months living rent free is the best way to do it.
Come on, June. You’re a strong woman. You can have mind-blowing sex with the three yummy hockey players without falling in love.
I obsess about my predicament the entire way to work, and I’m still thinking about it as I head to the teacher’s lounge to grab coffee. Katrina’s already there. “Good morning. You’re here early.”
“Yeah. I like beating traffic whenever I can, and our morning routine ran as smooth as silk today.” She blows on her coffee and watches me over the rim. “How’s Ryan?”
“He’s okay.”
“I read he’s benched and won’t go to the away games this week. Does that mean you’ll be taking care of him?” She wiggles her eyebrows up and down.
Avoiding eye contact, I sit across from her with my coffee in hand. “Maybe. But... I’m a little worried.”
“What’s up, buttercup? Trouble in paradise already?”
“Not exactly. I met some of the WAGs last night, and they said something that’s been bothering me.”
Katrina sits straighter. “You’d better tell me if I have to come to the next game and put some bitches in their place.”
The visual makes me laugh. Katrina would absolutely hate Wendy. “They didn’t treat me badly. It’s just... they said it’s a good thing I’m only friends with Jake because he and Ryan can’t be trusted.”
She raises an eyebrow. “You told them you’re only friends with Jake? Why?”
“Because that’s what we are... sort of. Friends with benefits.”
She rolls her eyes. “Whatever you say. Anyway, I wouldn’t worry about their comment. It was bitchy, and I don’t think they were looking out for you.”
Frowning, I stare at my coffee. “Why would they diss the boys?”
“I don’t know. Maybe there’s bad blood between their partners and your guys, or they have a thing for Jake or Ryan.”
“I didn’t think about that.”
Katrina smirks. “Of course you didn’t. You’re too innocent and pure. That’s why you have me.”
“I’m definitely not pure anymore,” I reply, making Katrina laugh.
“Amen to that. But seriously, even if Jake and Ryan were players in the past, it doesn’t mean they’ll screw you over. Besides, those women didn’t mention the goalie. Worst case scenario, you keep one.”
I grimace. “Riiight. I found out Lachy was engaged last year.”
Katrina’s brows shoot up. “Oh. That’s right. I remember reading something about it in a gossip magazine.”
“You knew and you didn’t tell me?” I shriek.
“It was a small article about someone I didn’t know.” She shrugs. “I glanced at it briefly last year, and immediately forgot. Sorry.”
My shoulders slump. “It’s okay. I don’t know why it bothered me, finding out about his ex-fiancée. Everyone has a past.”
“It bothered you because he didn’t tell you, and you already have feelings for him.”
I rest my forehead against the table. “Ugh. Don’t tell me that. I can’t have feelings for him. It’s too soon.”
“Girly, if I had been treated like a queen by three hunky hockey players, you bet your pretty face that I’d be head over heels in love right now.”
I sit up straighter again. “I can’t allow that to happen. You know how this is all going to end.”
She frowns. “Why are you being so pessimistic? Don’t let a bunch of strangers scare you from pursuing something that could be wonderful. Trust your gut and trust your guys.”
I’m able to put my love-life troubles on ice during the day. My students deserve my full attention, and it’s a busy day. On the way home, I’m beat, dying for a hot shower, but I’m also eager to see Ryan. I texted him when I had a moment during lunch, but he still hasn’t replied. I hope he’s okay. Unfortunately, I have to bake for our school’s fundraiser, which is in two days. If I don’t start tonight, I’ll never finish in time.
Taped to the front door, I find a note from Ryan.
Hey, Peaches. Judging by your radio silence, I figured you were busy today, and probably the last thing you want is to take the doggo out for a walk. I took care of that for you. Come over if you feel like having a yummy dinner. I made more tres leches cake.
Your friendly neighbor,
Ryan.
I frown at first. What does he mean by radio silence? On cue, my phone pings several times. Hell. I bet he replied, but his messages didn’t come through. I really need to change my cell phone network.
A slow grin unfurls on my lips, and my heart does somersaults inside my chest. If Ryan was still the player he was before, he wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble, nor would he have shared something so personal with me. And I’ve already slept with him! I really shouldn’t let the comments of people I just met get to me.
I walk into the apartment, and immediately, Winston comes running to greet me. Eros jumps on the kitchen counter and stares at me judgmentally.
“Come on. I don’t look that bad.” I set my bag on the dining room table and check my messages.
There are a few texts in the group chat from Jake and Lachy saying they’ve landed in Chicago, and a few messages from Ryan that he sent separately throughout the day.
I’d love to cook dinner for you, Peaches.
Come save me from my boredom.
You must be busy. I’ll talk to you when you get home.
I feel like an ass now for not replying to him sooner, not that it was my fault.
Sorry. My messages didn’t come through until now. Just got home. Thanks for walking Winston. I’ll take a quick shower and come over.
I set the phone down, not expecting an immediate reply, but when my phone chimes, my heart skips a beat.
Awesome. See you soon.
The butterflies in my stomach act as if they just drank an entire case of Red Bull. I forget all about baking those damn cupcakes and run to the shower. Not even when I was in high school and falling in love for the first time did I feel like this. Katrina was right. I never had a chance against these boys.