44. June
Thanks to Ryan’s help, we were able to bake all the cupcakes I needed last night, and all that’s left for me to do today is add the frosting.
By the time the end of the school day rolls around, I’m begging for mercy. I got my period, and the first day is always brutal. I’m not sure how I was able to drive home, but as I trudge out of the elevator, the pain is so intense that I’m afraid I might pass out.
Feeling woozy, I stick my hand in my purse, searching for the apartment key. But the bugger isn’t in the small pocket, which means I have to empty the whole purse to find it. I press my back against the wall and slide down until my butt meets the floor.
As all the contents spill out of my purse, I wince in disgust. There’s so much crap in there that I don’t need, such as old receipts that have already faded, pens that probably don’t work, and an assortment of hair ties that I can never find when I need them.
My phone rings, and when I see Bill’s name flashing on the screen, it makes me even sicker. Usually, I’d reject the call, but I don’t have the energy to do that. I let it ring until it goes to voicemail. Nothing good will come of that conversation. Maybe he wants to complain about my social life like his new girlfriend did. Fuckers. They deserve each other.
The elevator door opens again, and Ryan steps out, looking like a male model who just came off the runway. “Peaches! What are you doing on the floor?”
I tilt my head back, resting it against the wall. “I’m trying to find my key.”
“You look pale. Are you sick?” He crouches in front of me and touches my forehead.
“I don’t have a fever. I got my period, and it’s usually rough on the first day.”
I expect Ryan to make a face—Bill hated when I mentioned anything related to what he called women’s problems. But Ryan looks concerned.
“What can I do?”
“Help me find the key?”
He glances at the mess I created in front of me and fishes out the key from under my small notebook. “Here. Do you wanna come to my place instead? I can make you chicken soup.”
I laugh despite the pain. “I don’t think I can eat anything right now.”
“Okay.”
The idea of being in my apartment alone and in misery doesn’t appeal to me though. I hate feeling weak and needy, but he offered.
“I’ll come to your place. But I need to check on the pets first. Also, the cupcakes are in your fridge, and we need to decorate them.”
“Don’t worry about the pets or the cupcakes. I’ll take care of them.” Ryan puts all my things back in my purse, then helps me to my feet. “Can you walk?”
“Yeah. Why? Did you want to carry me?” I smirk, trying to distract myself from how awful I feel.
“It wouldn’t be a chore if it weren’t for my shoulder.” He smiles back, keeping my hand firmly clasped in his.
I shake my head. “You’re sweet, Ryan.”
He chuckles. “That’s new.”
“What is?”
“I’ve never been called sweet before.”
I tilt my head, narrowing my eyes. “Never?”
He shrugs with his good shoulder. “No. Maybe because I’m an ass to most people.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He toys with a strand of my hair. “Believe me, Peaches. I’m only sweet with you.”
Be still my heart. Not even my current wretched state can prevent me from feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.
“Why?” I look into his eyes. I’m not looking for a declaration of eternal love. I’m not insane enough to expect that from any of them. But I’m curious.
He holds my stare for a moment, then grins. “You bring out the best in me, I guess.”
I don’t know how to respond to that. I always believed the core of every successful relationship was the ability to bring out the best in the other person. Ryan might not realize how romantic he sounds.
I’m still tongue tied when we arrive at his apartment, but now it has more to do with excruciating cramps than anything else. I make a beeline for the couch and collapse there as if this were my place. I suppose I’ve achieved a new level of intimacy with him, now that I’ve fucked his brains out a few times.
“How are you feeling?” He walks over.
“Lousy. I’m in a lot of pain.”
“Do you take anything?”
“I already did, but it barely makes a difference. I’m used to suffering through.”
“I don’t accept that. Hold on.”
I watch him leave until I can’t see him anymore. I’d have to lean up on my elbows to find out where he’s going, but I don’t have the strength. I just close my eyes and try to think of something nice.
A few minutes later, I sense Ryan’s return and open my eyes again. He has a hot water bottle and a steamy mug in his hands.
“What’s in the mug?”
“Chamomile tea. I read online that it can help. This too.” He lifts the bottle.
Maybe it’s the hormones screwing with my emotions, but tears fill my eyes. “Thank you.”
“Can I?” He motions to help me with the bottle.
Even though we’ve slept together already, this gesture feels more intimate. “Yes,” I croak.
Ryan unbuttons my jeans and pulls the zipper down before placing the hot water bottle on my belly. I sigh.
“Is it too hot?”
“No. It’s perfect.”
“You should drink the tea while it’s hot.”
“In a moment. I’m quite comfortable right now.”
“Okay, Peaches. I’ll go check on the pets, then start on the cupcake decorating. Any instructions?”
“No. I trust you.”
I don’t mean only with the cupcakes. I know now I can trust him with my heart too.
I fell asleep on Ryan’s couch last night, but when I wake up in the morning, I’m in a satin-sheet-covered bed. I vaguely remember stumbling here with him. It’s pitch black in the room, and that gives me a mini panic attack. I roll onto my back and collide with a warm body.
“Good morning, Peaches,” Ryan whispers in a raspy voice, curling his arm around my waist.
I’m hyperventilating. I can’t think straight with him so close to me. “How do you know it’s morning?”
“My body knows.” He presses his hard-on against my leg, making my entire being buzz with desire.
I’m not feeling in the least bit sexy though, and I need to get ready for work. “What time is it?”
“Probably before six.” He moves, and a moment later there’s a humming in the room, and a bit of light penetrates the darkness. He opened the shades.
“I should get going or I’ll be late for work.”
He holds me tighter, bringing his nose to the crook of my neck. “Don’t go yet.”
I melt against his body, but my mind is far from relaxed. “You know there’s no chance we’ll have sex right now.”
“Do you think that’s what I have in mind?”
“Uh... your hard cock pressed against my leg tells me that.”
He snickers. “I can’t help my body’s reaction to you, beautiful. But don’t worry, I respect your boundaries. I just want to snuggle for a little bit.”
Oh God. Now my heart and the butterflies in my stomach are having a contest to see who can move faster.
“Okay.” I close my eyes and enjoy the heat coming from Ryan’s body, and the sense of peace that washes over me. “This feels nice.”
“I know. I never understood why people like it.”
“You never snuggled with anyone before?”
“Nope. I never felt the desire to do so before you.”
As much as I want to bask in his words, the dark seed of doubt sprouts in my head. Instead of melting into Ryan’s arms, I tense. I curse those WAGS for making me doubt my relationship with my guys.
“What’s wrong, Peaches?”
“It’s nothing.”
He rolls on top of me and looks into my eyes. “You can tell me.”
“Why are you being so sweet to me?”
Ryan’s brows scrunch together. “You don’t want me to be?”
“Of course I do, but... why? When we first met, I thought you were a one-night-stand kind of guy.”
He caresses my cheek, giving me goose bumps. “I thought I was too.”
I can’t help how my heart takes off at breakneck speed.
“But I like spending time with you. You are... easy.”
“What?”
His eyes widen, then he shakes his head. “No! I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I meant...” He rolls off me and stares at the ceiling. “God, I’m fucking it up already.”
“Did you mean it like the Lionel Richie song?”
He looks at me. “Well, sort of. I know that song is about a dude’s relief over a break-up, but the sentiment is the same, only caused by the opposite. Being with you is easy.”
My heart is fluttering, pumping giddiness through my body. “‘Easy’ is one of my favorite songs.”
A slow smile unfurls on his handsome face. “Mine too, even though it’s bittersweet. My dad used to play it on the guitar all the time. I think he secretly wished he could end his unhappy marriage and feel okay about it. He tried to teach me how to play, but I wasn’t very good at it.”
“Nonsense. I’m sure you could be very good.”
Ryan’s eyes seem to twinkle with amusement. “Once a teacher, always a teacher.”
“That’s right.” I grin.
He watches me for a moment, then rolls out of bed. I lean on my forearms to see what he’s up to. He retrieves an acoustic guitar from a mount in the corner of his room and returns to bed.
“You know how Lachy’s most treasured possession is his blankie? Well, this is mine. My dad’s old guitar. He gave it to me a month before he passed.” He stares affectionately at the instrument and then strums the cords.
I throw my legs off the bed and sit up next to him. “If you want, I could teach you.”
He whips his face to mine, then offers me the guitar. “I think I’d rather listen to you play.”
“What? Now?”
He nods. “Yeah. Any song you’d like.”
I take the guitar from his hands and adjust the strings. There are so many songs I could play for him, but now I have “Easy” on my mind. As I start the song, it’s a like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. My decade-long relationship has ended in the most spectacular way, and I feel as light as a feather. I never knew what I was missing until I met Ryan, Lachy, and Jake. My boys.