Chapter 42 Brady
brADY
It’s been four days since we brought her home.
Four days of watching her drift.
Elizabeth sleeps more than she’s awake, and when she is awake, it’s like she’s not really here. She eats if I put food in front of her. She curls up on the couch next to me at night. But her spark—the fire that makes her who she is—hasn’t come back.
It scares the hell out of me.
The doctors say it’s normal. That her brain and body are processing the trauma.
This is part of the recovery curve. I don’t give a damn what’s normal.
I just want her back. I want to hear one of her sharp remarks—see that little sideways lift of her mouth when she’s annoyed and pretending she isn’t.
I’d give anything just to see her smile again.
Sera finds me standing in the kitchen, staring blankly at the coffeepot.
“She still in the room?”
“Yeah,” I mutter.
Sera leans against the counter trying to look casual, which immediately has me alert. “Who were those two guys? Not the Blooms.”
“Justice Department and FBI,” I answer, knowing that isn’t who she meant. Rhodes already gave me the heads-up she was asking questions.
“Not them. The other two.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Why?”
“I’m curious.” She shrugs, but I’m not buying it.
“Alex Kovalyov and his cousin Liev. Alex runs Koval International… He’s married.” I watch her closely.
“And the other one?” She sounds bored, but I can see her fidgeting with her cuticle.
My stomach tightens. “Liev Kovalyov is Alex’s head of security.
” Her nail rises to her mouth, and she chews.
Fuck. “Listen to me, Sera. They might appear to be legitimate businessmen, they aren’t.
Alex’s brother is the pakhan of the Kovalyov Bratva, and Liev’s father is one of his top vors.
They may be on the legal side.” I put air quotes around the word.
“But they are as deep into the bratva as you can get. Stay away from him.”
Sera rolls her eyes, pushing away from the counter. “Dramatic much? I was just asking a question.”
She opens a cabinet, pulls down a mug, then fills it with coffee.
“She doesn’t want to be a victim, or feel like she’s responsible for everything that happened,” Sera says with her back still to me.
“None of it was her fault.”
“Trust me—she feels it was, anyway.” Sera turns to face me, clutching the mug so tightly in front of her that I can see the white in her knuckles.
I shake my head. “I’ve told her it wasn’t. I tell her over and over how strong and brave she is.”
Sera snorts and sets down the mug. “Yeah, well, telling someone they’re strong doesn’t mean shit when they feel like their power’s been stripped away. You told me she prides herself on being independent and handling her own shit.”
“Yeah?”
“And you keep telling her how brave and strong she is? What message do you think you are giving her?”
I stare at her blankly. I’m pretty sure Sera doesn’t think the right answer is the obvious one—that I think she’s brave and strong.
She widens her eyes at me like I’m an idiot and then throws her hands up in frustration. “Men,” she mutters under her breath before leaving the room.
It’s not until I follow a minute later that I realize she’s jogging up the stairs to the bedrooms.
Fuck. I take the steps three at a time, but by the time I reach the common room, Elizabeth’s door is already standing open.
“Enough is enough,” Sera says firmly.
Elizabeth, bent over her laptop in bed, is staring at Sera shocked.
“The pity party was fun while it lasted, but it’s over now. Lights are on, and it’s time to go.”
“Sera,” I hiss, stepping in after her.
My sister doesn’t even look at me. “She needs to hear this.”
Elizabeth is still staring, her body practically thrumming. I can’t tell if she’s pissed or afraid, and not knowing makes me mad.
“You think I don’t know what’s going through your head?” Sera demands. “Because if anyone does—I do.”
Elizabeth shakes her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit.” Sera crosses her arms. “You’ve been hiding in here. I get it. If I looked like that…” She gestures at the healing bruises. “I’d hide, too. But you will heal. You are healing. It’s time to get on with it. Live your life again.”
“That’s a bit like the pot and the kettle,” Elizabeth snaps, glaring now as she jumps from the bed, her shoulders squared.
I don’t move. Should I stop this? I haven’t heard that fire in her voice in days.
Sera doesn’t back down. “Probably,” she admits, then grabs the collar of her shirt and yanks it down to show the scars near her collarbone. “Do you think I’m weak?”
“Of course not,” Elizabeth replies, indignant. “That’s different.”
“How?”
Elizabeth opens her mouth, then closes it. No words come.
“An asshole hurt you the same way an asshole hurt me,” Sera says, quieter now. “Well, not the same way, but you get where I’m going.”
Elizabeth’s lips twitch. I almost cheer.
“You don’t strike me as a woman who lets people walk all over you. From what I hear, you were a go-for-the-balls kind of lawyer. So why the fuck would you let these people win now by hiding up here? You let them change how you live your life—then that’s what will have happened.”
“And you.” She spins and points a finger at me. “Telling her she’s not a victim just reminds her you think she is.”
“I don’t—”
“You look at me like I’m going to collapse in a puddle of tears every time you look at me,” Elizabeth accuses. “You don’t look at me like I’m me anymore. And God forbid I try to touch your—”
“Okay!” Sera interrupts, her cheeks pink. “My work is done here. Time to go,” she tosses over her shoulder before shutting the door a little too hard behind her.
Elizabeth is breathing hard, her jaw tight.
I stand watching her, unsure if I should speak, unsure if she wants me here—but she doesn’t move away.
Minutes pass before she says anything.
“When I was little,” she murmurs, eyes fixed out the window, “lightning struck that tree. The one where we found the necklace. Right down the middle. It never grew the same. But it didn’t die either. Just… warped. The hollow was always there after that.”
Her voice is soft. “It doesn’t make sense… for it to have such a large hollow in the trunk and still be alive.” Her gaze flicks to mine. “That’s what this feels like. I’m worried that the hollow will always be there. That you will only ever see the damaged parts of me.”
I stop in front of her, brushing a strand of hair off her cheek. “You’re not hollow.”
She blows out a raspberry and ducks her head, but I hold her face as gently as I can, aware that though the swelling is almost gone, the skin is still tender.
“I love you, Elizabeth Gowan, and you love me. You are not hollow.”
“What if I already was?” Her eyes, filled with anguish, meet mine. “Before all this. You know what my life looked like. What if the cracks were already there and this… This lightning just made them bigger?”
Her voice breaks off when I press my lips to hers, silencing her fears.
I cup her face. “You’re careful. You’re guarded.
Frequently shrewish and argumentative. But you’re so full of life, you’re bursting.
You are probably going to be scared now and then.
” I stare into her eyes, willing her to understand.
“So will I, but we are going to figure this out together. If you want to burn, fucking blaze, but if you need to just flicker for a while, I’ll keep the light on for both of us, Firefly. ”
My thumb strokes over the healing skin below her eye. The corner of my mouth ticks up. “So, this whole pouting in your bedroom thing was because I didn’t fuck you enough? I’m happy to remedy that.”
Her mouth drops open in outrage, and her eyes kindle with the defiance I love. “You wish, assho—”
I cut off her words by sealing her mouth with mine and walk her backwards until I’ve got her pinned to the wall. She pinches my bicep hard in retaliation before her body grows lax, melting into the kiss.
Elizabeth gasps into my mouth, her good hand gripping my shirt, tugging me closer until there is no space between our bodies.
“You’re supposed to be the smart one in this relationship, but you come up with the most ridiculous ideas,” I mutter against her lips, forcing myself to slow down enough to meet her gaze.
“There is nothing. Nothing that would ever keep me from wanting you.” I smirk at her.
“I mean, I still want you after hearing you threaten a famous director with disembowelment.”
“Don’t lie. You thought it was hot.” Her breath fans heat against my mouth.
“Fuck yeah, I did.”
She kisses me again, harder, desperate, and when her thigh slides against mine, my control shreds. I growl low in my throat and lift her, careful of her splinted hand as her legs lock around my hips.
“You’re hurt,” I rasp, holding her up against the wall, every muscle trembling with restraint. “Tell me if it’s too much.”
“Right now, it’s not enough.”
Her fire. God, I missed it.
I shove her skirt up, working her panties roughly aside, while she scrabbles with my zipper. I push into her slowly, watching her face. Her lips part, a moan escaping as her nails bite into my shoulders.
“Firefly,” I groan, my forehead pressed to hers. “You ruin me.”
Her laugh is a little breathless. “Good.”
I thrust again, deeper this time, and she cries out, clinging to me as I support her weight. My cheek presses to hers my lips moving against her ear. “I won’t let you fall.”
Her thighs tighten around my hips. “And I’m not letting you go.”
I smile at the challenge in her tone, before losing myself in the heat of her mouth again. I’m trying to keep every move controlled, conscious of her injuries, but when she gasps my name, her heels digging into my ass, my control is ripped away.
“Thought I lost you,” I grit out, driving into her, harder now, each thrust a vow. “Every second—”
“You didn’t.” Her words are fierce, her body trembling with mine. “I’m here. With you. So, stop acting like I’m gone.”
Her nails scrape down my back, her hips tilting to meet every stroke, and the friction steals the air from my lungs. I angle my thrusts deeper, grinding up against her until her head falls back against the wall, a strangled sound leaving her throat.
Her body tightens around me, clenching like a vise around my cock. She shatters, and the sounds she makes takes me over the edge with her. Groaning into her neck, I hold her tight between my body and the wall.
When the tremors ease, I lower her carefully, her legs sliding down mine, my arm still locked around her waist. I press my mouth to her temple, to her swollen lip, to the bruises I wish I could take from her.
“You’re mine,” I whisper, the words raw against her skin. “Whether it’s just a flicker or you’re blazing hot enough to burn—You’re mine. And nothing will ever make me stop wanting you. So, no more dumb shit okay?”
She blows out a satisfied exhale. “Definite jackass vibes.”
I’m almost asleep when I hear her whisper. “I’ll do better this time around. I promise.”
I turn my head to brush my lips against her temple. “Do what better? Because I think I lost feeling in my legs at one point that last time.”
The hand resting on my bare chest shoves me gently. “I just mean I’m going to try not to retreat next time I get scared.”
I yawn and squeeze her ass. “Yes, you will, but it’s okay.
I know how to convince you to take your armor off now.
” She sighs softly against me, relaxing.
“I’m not exactly the poster child for the emotionally well-balanced, and I’m probably going to be a terrible boyfriend.
” I press a sleepy kiss to her lips. “And I’m sure you won’t hesitate to point out what I’m doing wrong. ”
“And I’m sure you’ll say I’m being bossy.” Her yawn is bigger than mine.
“I fully expect to argue every day.”
“We won’t if you just do things my way.” She snuggles into me.
“But then we won’t have make-up sex.”
Her breath feathers across me in a laugh. “You want an R-rated happily ever after?”
“I was hoping for X, but as long as you’re there, I’ll take whatever ‘ever after’ you’ll give me.”