Chapter 9
NINE
Grey
Felix walks into the kitchen wearing one of the baby-blue sweaters I bought him and a pair of dark jeans that fit better than I should notice. Unfortunately for me, it’s all I’ve been noticing lately.
It’s been about a month since Felix came here, and I have to admit, it’s not the worst thing in the world. I guess.
Some may even say I enjoy his company. Maybe. I will neither confirm nor deny, even if my chest gets all weird and jittery when he walks into my kitchen. Or when he wakes me up in the morning with a soft touch. Or at night when it’s just us by the fire.
When Alyssa came by to see if we’d killed each other—or rather, if I’d killed him—she offered to cut his hair when he mentioned how long it was getting. I liked it before, but this shorter cut makes his face stand out in a way I wish I could ignore.
Is it still Stockholm syndrome if it’s your own home you’re trapped in? I guess Felix isn’t really my captor, although being tied up for his use . . . well now, that is a dangerous path to go down. “Those fit nicely. They look good.” Okay, now stop looking. I take a sip and study my coffee mug.
Something about him seems different. He looks good. Brighter. Healthier.
“Really? Thank you.”
I have another present to give him, but I’ll wait until a bit later.
I’ve always been an awkward guy. I don’t people well, and I’m afraid to overwhelm him.
My ex used to call me overbearing, told me I smothered him.
I couldn’t help myself, though. I was never home, and when I was, I just wanted to spend time with him.
I love simple shit like movie nights, cooking dinner together.
Maybe it’s my busy schedule. I’m always off to one place or another—games, training, practice, interviews, media.
On repeat. I enjoy going to bars with my best friends, but I crave the simplicity of being at home with the person I’m with.
When I do go out, it’s usually to hike or something that only requires me and fresh air.
In the last month I’ve grown used to Felix’s company.
The more time we spend together—or should I say the more time I spend with him snapping at me to take it easy—the more I’m getting used to it.
The defiance in his bright brown eyes amuses me more than he wants it to.
I can’t help it. He’s like a puppy with a sharp bark.
More of his personality has shown through too.
He said he was boring, but I know that’s not the case.
Felix is witty and sweet. Since I asked him about those bruises, he avoids any conversation leading down that path. And that’s okay. I’m just hoping that maybe soon he’ll feel comfortable enough to tell me.
“What’s the matter?” He eyes my knee skeptically.
I’m in a ton of pain right now. I had PT yesterday and I still haven’t bounced back from it.
I keep waiting for it to feel better. I’m trying, though.
I want to get better. More than that, I want to get dressed in the morning without getting winded or exhausted from the work it takes to put my damn legs in my pants.
Today will be fun. I’ve already taken my medicine, and I just want this day to be special.
I have no clue why. I feel like I have something to prove, but I’ve yet to figure out what the hell that might be.
“I packed lunch for us.” I attempted to anyway.
It took a lot of my energy. “I uh, I thought we could go down to the pier and have lunch. Maybe do some fishing. There’s a nice little spot on the other side of town. Unless you want to do something else?”
Felix eyes my tacklebox on the table. I think he’s going to decline, then a small smile hits his lips. “Will I have to touch a worm?”
I laugh. “Only if you want to.”
“In town?” That’s another thing I’ve noticed.
Since coming here, he never wants to leave the house.
I wanted him to take me to appointments, and yeah, I know it’s technically his job, but I felt his fear whenever it was time to go anywhere.
I don’t mind paying a driver to take me places. I don’t want him to be uncomfortable.
Still, I want to push a little today. “Yeah. That okay?”
Felix looks around the room before nodding. “I guess.”
“I mean, if you don’t want to . . . it’s your redo birthday.” I think a nice day of fishing will be great. And I can sit. It’s going to be nearly sixty-five today and sunny. My oven dings. “Great timing.”
“What?”
I limp over to the oven, grabbing my oven mitt.
“What is that?” he asks.
I pull the cake out of the oven. I sort of wish Lianna were here. She loves frosting. She ends up eating a third of the can before it can even make it onto the cake. Then Alyssa yells at me about too much sugar, as if she never used to smuggle cookies like a damn drug mule when she was a kid.
“I made you a cake.”
“You made a cake?” His brow arches as his eyes scrutinize my baking skills.
“Hey now, I am an uncle. I’m not just a pretty face who can fill out a purple shell bra. I have many talents. I know my way around a box of cake mix.”
He laughs. “I’m sorry I doubted your skill.” His eyes soften on me, and damn, that fluttery feeling comes back.
I clear my throat and set the cake on the rack to cool while we’re gone. “I used to have tea parties with Lianna. We’d make little mini cakes and set them out on trays. Haven’t done that in a while, though.” Soon. I miss her so much. “When we get back, we can frost it.”
“Why haven’t you done that with her in a while?” I look down at my leg. “Oh, yeah.”
It’s been about four months since the accident, and I just want to live again. I want to be me again. “I think I’m pushing them all away because I don’t want to tell them I can’t play.”
“It won’t make it any less real.” It’s a truth, I know, but it still hurts. “Maybe the doctors are wrong. Maybe you can—”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to do that. I have to make peace with reality.
” The thing is, for the first month after, I thought maybe I could defeat the odds.
I saw the X-rays, and while I’m not a doctor, I’ve had plenty of medical professionals poke at me over the years.
I know a shitty X-ray when I see one. I’m lucky I can even walk on the leg at all with my knee.
“Well, it smells good. Great job, Uncle Greyson.” Felix smiles down at the cake, his warm eyes taking it in.
Damn, he’s got pretty eyes. Okay, maybe this day has less to do with his birthday and more to do with the warm feeling I get when he’s around me.
It’s like this soft heat that just fills me up.
Felix is easy to talk to, soft spoken and reasonable. When I don’t listen, he gives me this scrunched look that makes me smile. He doesn’t put up with my shit anymore either, and I love the confidence he’s gained by putting me in my place.
Like it maybe a little too much. “I don’t think anyone has ever made me a cake.”
That catches me. “Not your ex?”
Felix chews his bottom lip. “No, he never did,” he says softly. “There’s a reason he’s my ex.”
And I’m sure it has nothing to with not making him a cake.
“I do have one more present for you before we go.”
“Grey, you’ve done enough.” I ignore him, going into my living room and grabbing the small gift bag. “What is this?” Felix peeks into the bag, frowning. “A phone?”
“Just in case I need you. I didn’t think you had one for work.
” After the way he reacted to the clothes, I’d wanted to give him time to adjust before I gave it to him.
I don’t want to overwhelm him. “This one has my number in it. I just put it on my family plan. Alyssa’s number is in there, and it’s connected to the ring cameras around the house just in case I can’t get to the door.
Make sure to check who it is before you open it.
” I peek around his shoulder. “If it’s one of my idiot friends, you can unlock the door from here.
” I show him how it works. “I have to be careful. It rarely happens, but I sometimes get fans who find my house. It freaks me out. If you don’t know who’s at the door, do not open it. Okay?”
I wait for him to freak out, but instead his eyes meet mine, hitting me with the full force of that bright brown gaze free of any fear. So clear. It’s like over the last month all the light pollution faded away leaving behind a clear sky bursting with stars. “Thank you.”
“No problem. It’s nothing fun, I know, but I thought you could use one.”
He shakes his head, looking at it, thinking things I can’t read on his face.
He looks back up at me and shocks me by wrapping his arms around me.
It takes a moment for my brain to wake up and hug him back.
My hand lands on the small of his back, and I have the urge to pull him forward.
“Thank you.” His hands trail down my spine leaving tingles in their path.
My dick takes notice.
I break the hug, pulling away, needing space. “Anytime.”
“Did you grow up around here?”
It’s been about half an hour and nothing is biting. I don’t mind, though. I can fish all day and not catch a thing. Just sitting out here is good enough. I love nature. I love warm days, a soft breeze, and nothing but trees in front of me.
I wish I could say my attention has all been on the fishing, but I can’t stop thinking about that hug. It was just a damn hug, but I swear I can still feel his hands on my back. Right. Felix asked a question. “No. We’re from Raleigh, North Carolina. We moved when I got drafted.”
“You and your sister?”
“And my mother.” I like that he’s talking to me. He was a little weird while we were driving around town. I could feel the anxiety coming from him. I don’t know what’s up with him, but at least he’s out of the house. I can tell he’s nervous, but he’s trying.
“Where is your mother?”
“She had MS; she died a few years ago.”
“Oh, I’m really sorry about that.” He waits a moment. I already know what he’s going to ask. “What about your father?”
Maybe I should tell him. “My father was the chief of police in a small town near where we grew up.” I sigh. “He died in the line of duty.”
“Oh. I’m so sorry.”
The truth springs to my lips. “I’m not,” I admit. It may seem cold, but I have no love for that man. Felix turns to look at me. “He wasn’t good to my mom. He terrorized her. She tried to leave, but then she found out she was pregnant with Alyssa, so she kind of gave up after that. Then he died.”
“Oh, I’m really sorry. Either way. That’s not something anyone should go through.” I don’t miss the quiet tone. “I’m sorry about your mom, though. I bet she was incredible.”
Yeah, she was. It’s not something I’ve come to terms with yet. Still the worst day of my life. My mother was the sweetest soul and didn’t deserve the life my father pushed her into.
I need to think about something else. “What about you? Where did you grow up? Your family?”
“I um, I grew up less than an hour from here. My father isn’t alive, and my mom, she was never there much. I haven’t seen her in years. I heard she married some guy, but I don’t even think she lives in Oregon anymore.” I want to ask more but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.
“What did you do for work before this?”
“I worked at a dental office.” Felix looks at me, his legs softly swinging off the dock. “Have you thought more about when you’re going to tell your friends? They will support you. They seem like good people.” I take it for the subject change it is.
“Even the one who yelled at you?”
Felix smirks, shrugging. “He only did that because he cares. Plus, he apologized.”
“You sound like his fiancé.”
“What about you? Any girlfriends? No one comes to the house . . . I just, I mean I—”
“No, no girlfriends.” A smile grows on my face. “Ever.” Confusion hits his eyes. They’re a softer shade of brown in the sunshine. “It’s been a while since I had a man in my life, though.”
“You’re gay?” I nod. “That’s—” There’s a tug on his fishing rod. “Oh! I got one. What do I do?!”
I put my arm around him to help hold it steady.
He looks to the side, his lips so close to mine.
His breath ghosts over my lips. His eyes dip to my mouth, then he slowly drags his attention to my eyes.
He tilts his head slightly to look at me.
I’m barely breathing. “Greyson?” The breathy way he says my name makes me thicken behind these damn jeans. “What are—”
A tug startles us, and I close my hands over his. “Reel it in slowly.” I smile. “Nice and gentle.” He shivers. “Like that. Real slow.” He licks his lips. The action goes straight to my cock. “That’s it.” I look at him, drunk on whatever this feeling is. Fuck he’s cute. “Felix—”
He leans in slightly. “Ah!” He jerks back. Water hits us as the fish on his reel thrashes. It’s almost to the surface when I see it. He turns with a swallow, focusing back on the rod, and he reels it out of the water. “I don’t want to touch it,” he laughs.
I grab the fish, unhooking it from his line. It’s a pretty good size rainbow trout. “Looks like we have dinner.” I look at Felix. “You may want to look away.”
“Why?”
“I don’t think you want to see this part.” I grab my supplies and watch as Felix turns away. I quickly stun the fish then take care of it before placing it in my cooler. “All done. Do you want to head back or keep fishing?” I wipe my hands on the wipes I brought out here.
“Can we head back?”
I’m still trying to find my damn sense because it sure as shit isn’t here. “Not really your thing?” I am not good at this. “Sorry, this was kind of lame.”
“Honestly?” Felix looks out at the lake.
There it is again, that light airy feeling when I look at him.
It’s not even about the feelings I currently have.
It’s seeing the happiness on his face. I remember how he was when he first moved in.
All nervous energy and high anxiety that you could feel radiating off him in waves.
I soak in the calmness he has about him now, and I hope that means he knows I won’t hurt him. I hope it means he can trust me.
“Yeah. Be honest.”
He looks at me, smiling, and heat explodes inside me. “This is the best day I’ve had in years.”