Chapter 19
NINETEEN
Grey
“This place is huge.”
It is, and it feels like coming home. We arrived a little late.
Traffic was insane to the arena, which I figured it might be.
Tickets were sold out. It’s been a long time since we’ve brought the cup home.
Luckily, we got to park with the rest of the team, or we’d be shit out of luck.
Felix helps me up the stairs to our box, and I take them slowly, looking out over the screaming crowd.
Playoff games are insane.
The Otters lost their first game against the Vipers in nearly eight years. It was an upset, but they went on to win one more on the Vipers’ turf. If they can pull this off tonight, they’ll be champions.
I find the box where other Otters family members are sitting and nod with a smile to a few familiar faces. We take a seat with a clear view of the stadium. “It’s so loud.” But he smiles. “Is it always this crazy?”
I watch fans wave their towels. “Playoff games are usually like this, but the final round is crazy.” I wanted to win it one more time before I retired, which I hadn’t planned on doing for a while.
I ignore the path my brain wants to take and instead take this in. It all seems so small from up here.
“How’s your knee?”
“I’m okay.” I smile, slipping my fingers into his, surprise reaching his brows. We haven’t defined anything, but right now I don’t think we need to. I just enjoy his company, and I think he enjoys mine.
Felix looks down at our fingers. “Are you worried someone will see?”
I can feel some eyes on me here in this box, not that I care. They’re just various family members of the players, and with Andre and Oli’s announcement late last year, I feel more at ease.
What do I care? I’m not on the ice anymore. I have nothing to answer for or explain in the media. More than that, none of us should have to. Do straight players have to explain their relationship statuses with their wives or girlfriends? No.
Coach told me they’re planning to make the announcement about my retirement after the season is over, but I plan on telling my guys tonight.
I squeeze Felix’s fingers. “Since Oli and Andre were outed, there’s been a few changes in how queer players are treated.
” Small changes, but it’s something. “Any news outlet caught reporting on a player’s sexuality before that player comes out will be sued to hell and back and terminated.
” Will it stop fans from speculating? No, but it will keep the sports news focused on stats and games instead of gossip.
“I’m glad.” His fingers tighten in mine.
“I don’t care who knows.” Felix smiles at me, and I don’t care what I have to do to keep that smile on his face. Whatever it is, it’s done. “Since Oli and Andre came out, there have been a few other players who’ve also come out.”
“Really?”
I nod. “Knox Morrow—the captain for the Vipers, number thirty-six down there—he’s bisexual. Then there’s Theo Zepper of the Vermont Miners—”
“Vermont Miners?”
I laugh. “Yeah, they’re kind of the laughingstock of the league. I don’t think they’ve won a cup in the last seven decades. Getting drafted to them is a career death sentence of bad luck.”
“Wow.” He laughs.
“Anyway, he’s one of the defensemen . . . and their captain, he came out as pan. Carrie Chambers, he’s a winger for Detroit, came out as asexual.” I’m not sure why, but he retired right after. I just hope it wasn’t related. Not all teams have been as welcoming as mine has.”
The lights go out and the arena erupts as my guys skate out onto the ice. I almost stand up to cheer then remember my knee. Who knew I’d get to a point where steep stairs were an issue. Even as I think it, I know that months ago this would have been impossible.
I look at Felix, his eyes bright on the game.
I don’t know if he’s into it, but it looks like it.
More and more when we watch a game, he gets just as animated as I am.
Something comes over me. I don’t know what it is.
I just know how it feels, and it feels like this warm ball of light warming my chest from the inside out.
Felix is watching them play, but my eyes are on him. He looks at me, his brows scrunching. “What?” He smiles.
I lean in to his ear. “Thank you.”
He pulls back, confused. “For what?”
“Everything.”
As predicted, the game is brutal as fuck.
I’m stressed out sitting here. It’s almost the end of the second period, and I know a lot of my guys are winded.
The Vipers aren’t fucking around. Unfortunately for them, Colton got injured at the end of the first period.
A nasty hit knocked him headfirst into the boards.
The game was stopped for a moment, but thankfully he skated off the ice.
It brings me back to the beginning of the season and watching our goalie Rocky get seriously injured. Thankfully he’s doing great now and enjoying the hell out of being a new dad.
Atlas knocks into one of their players, stealing the puck back and skating toward their goal.
I don’t know who their goalie is. A young guy with a lower save percentage than Andre.
Atlas skates, stops short, spraying ice, then shoots to Ivan.
Ivan slaps to Oli who then shoots to Atlas.
We watch them go back and forth before Oli fakes a shot, shooting to Atlas instead, who slaps it hard into the goal.
“Fuck yeah!” I stand abruptly, shouting at the top of my lungs. “That’s my best friend!”
Felix laughs, rubbing my thigh, and I sit carefully back down. I know he’s going to have me on bed rest all day tomorrow.
The Otters are up by two, and I can feel how pissed the Vipers are about that. They won the cup last year and came here to defend their title. Shit out of luck. The buzzer runs out. One more period to go. My heart can’t take much more.
The energy is electric.
I had to use the bathroom during the intermission, and when we return, I hear my name as I sit down.
“Look.” Felix points as I hear my name on the announcements.
They’re showing us on the screen. I wave as the broadcaster talks about my injury, and I don’t know why but it makes me mad.
It shouldn’t; I’m used to it. It’s all entertainment for them.
Then I notice his hand hooked around my arm and he’s leaning into me on the jumbotron.
I know how it looks on screen. The announcer keeps talking, and I wave with the cameras on me, feeling a bit itchy.
Then I look at him. Felix’s eyes smile at me.
It’s like he’s shed years off him since moving in with me.
The haunted look in his eyes is nearly gone.
Bright and brown. Beautiful eyes. “I’m glad you’re here,” I say to him.
Felix smiles then shocks me, leaning in but stopping halfway. I’m shocked by the bold move.
Fuck it.
I lean in, pressing my lips to his and feeling a thousand jolts of warmth flow through my body.
I know people talk about fireworks—fireworks, explosions, heat, and passion.
It’s not that I don’t also feel those things, but what I crave more is comfortable warmth.
I like soft heat and gentle reminders that the person I’m with also wants me back just as much.
I think he does. He looks at me like he does. That soft heat simmers low in my stomach, and heat pools in places it really shouldn’t right now with thousands of people around us.
He moves back with a wide smile. “I’m glad I’m here too.”
“Come on! Come on!” Felix holds me back from standing, and yeah, I’ve been a bit out of control, but goddammit I’m about to lace up myself and kick some ass because what the hell happened to my friends in that second period break?
They’re fucking tied right now, and the Vipers have come to kill.
Atlas especially has been out of it since they came back. What the hell?
“Relax. Your knee,” he whispers in my ear.
“I know. Shit, this is tense. I don’t like being on this end of it.” Felix laughs at me, planting a kiss on my cheek.
Coach changes lines and Viktor barrels toward the puck, knocking over one of the Vipers and gaining the advantage.
There’s only two minutes left. He loses the advantage, and players barrel down into our zone toward Andre.
I watch him tense, watching the puck. Their player slaps it.
Andre collapses on top of it. The whistle blows. “That’s right!”
I lean forward, watching them face off. Oli’s line goes out. Atlas gets into position. I need him to get his head in the fucking game. I’m not sure what happened in that locker room during the second break, but he needs to get it together. I know they’re tired. “Come on, guys.”
The whistle blows and chaos erupts. Going into OT will suck; they’re already gassed.
I put my elbows on my knees, leaning forward, my face resting in my hands.
I feel like I’m about to jump out of my skin.
Oli takes the puck and shoots to Ivan, who loses it briefly before Atlas barrels in snatching the puck back.
He shoots to our D-man, Dante, then skates hard before getting knocked back.
A Viper steals the puck, skating toward Andre.
I tense, and so does he. All the players are on that side following their teammate for an easy kill.
Atlas comes out of nowhere, knocking into them and stealing the puck.
Atlas is one of the fastest skaters in the league, and shock at his skill stuns the Vipers as he makes it out on a breakaway.
I stand, ignoring the twinge in my knee.
“Go, Atlas!” I scream with the crowd as he makes it toward their net.
“Come on, boy! Let’s go!” He fakes a shot, making their goalie flinch, then shoots toward the top right, making it in.
The buzzer sounds.