Chapter 25
TWENTY FIVE
Felix
With the setting sun, here on the balcony everything seems perfect. I almost forget what’s waiting for us when we get back. It’s hard to think about anything else. I’m on vacation for the first time in my life, with a gorgeous man who loves me. That should be my focus. “I’m so tired.”
He laughs, hugging me to his side. I have him resting his knee right now.
My fingers run through the hair on his chest. I love how masculine he feels.
I lean in, biting his nipple. It’s impossible to keep my hands off him.
“Hey now,” he chuckles, kissing my hair.
“You wrung me out. Sex has been great, but it’s never been that great before. ”
I look up, resting my chin on his chest. “Really?” I know he’s lying. He has to be. I had no clue what I was doing. He leans down, giving me a kiss.
“Yes, really.” He cups my face. “I won’t say I’m surprised, because I knew it would be good, but I will say you shocked me a little.” He laughs. “That was . . . unexpected.”
Being with Grey brings out this side of me I’ve never been able to explore. It feels natural. When I’m with him everything feels right. Grey gives me control. It awakened me.
“I want to ask something, but I’m a little nervous,” he says.
“What’s that?” I smooth my hand across the skin of his belly, feeling his muscles contract under my fingertips.
I know he grumbles about not having a six pack anymore, but I love the way he looks, relaxed and happy and just so healthy I can’t help but smile.
My fingers tickle along the sensitive skin under his belly button.
“Before you moved in, I felt like my life was over.” He smiles sadly. “Now I feel like it’s a new beginning. When we get back, I want us to live together for real.”
My brows pinch. “We do live together.”
“I mean, you move into my room and make my home yours. I want to wake up with you, watch you journal and cook. I want you to watch games with me—”
“You mean watch you yell at games.”
He shakes his head. “If the damn players would just do their job!”
I laugh. “Are you sure?”
“I want to be by your side.”
“I guess your sister should stop paying me,” I laugh.
“I’m the one who’s been paying you, and you do an amazing job. You’ve helped me heal in more ways than one. If you want to get another job, that’s completely up to you, but if you don’t and you’d rather be home, that’s okay too. I have more than enough to take care of us both.”
“I don’t want to burden you like that.”
“Felix, I have more money than I’ll ever know what to do with. You will be taken care of.” I think about this for a moment. “If you want to pursue a passion or career, I’ll help you do that too. I want you to fulfill every single dream you may have.”
This all seems too good to be true. “We have to deal with Steven first.”
“That’s right . . . we. And we will.” He leans in to kiss me, pressing kisses along my jaw, then he pulls me more onto his body, his lips not getting enough of mine. I feel him thicken, my palm smooths over the growing bulge in his sweats. I drink in his groans. “Grey?”
“Yeah?”
“I love touching you.”
“Ungh, you have no fucking idea how much I love when you touch me.” My fingers reach down, dipping into his sweats and feeling how hard he is. He nuzzles his nose against mine then kisses me, while I slowly jerk him root to tip.
“Want me to keep going?”
He nods.
I’ve never felt a thing like this in my life. Before, sex was a burden. I didn’t understand what the big deal was. Now, with him, I get it. Your partner should give you light, not snuff it out. Grey shines on me every day. The feeling of making this large man crumble is unmatched.
His eyes shut and his mouth parts, with breathy sounds that send a thrill up my spine. There’s only one dim light out here on the balcony, the night sky black with stars shining above us. For the millionth time I can’t believe this is my life.
“That’s it, baby.” I kiss his neck, jerking him faster. He’s thrusting into my hand. Even though he just came, he’s rock hard again. “You’re going to come, huh?” He nods fast, undulating his hips into my fist.
“Your mouth,” he whispers.
He lifts a little, letting his sweats slide down a touch and his dick spring out. I latch my mouth around him, suckling his head, and he groans as I begin to bob on him. He’s trembling. His fingers find my hair, not to tug, but to caress.
“Felix. Felix. I’m close. Fuck, so good.” He pumps into my mouth.
“Ungh. So fucking good.” He comes with a muffled groan, careful not to ram himself down my throat, and I drink him down happily and lap at his slit.
“Holy shit.” He laughs. “Okay. Okay!” He twitches with sensitivity as I tease his crown with the tip of my tongue.
He cups my face, bringing my lips in for a kiss that he dives right into.
Pulling me back, he smiles, giving me another one.
“I love you.” He presses his forehead to mine. “You hear me? I love you so much.”
I smile, tongue tied and afraid to open my lips. I kiss him instead, letting him feel how much he means to me. It’s not that I don’t feel these things, but I don’t know . . . something is stopping me, and I don’t know what it is. “I’m not letting go, Grey.”
He smiles, kissing me between the eyes. “Never.”
He looks down at his sweats, and yeah, there’s a big spot of drool on his lap.
“I do have to change, though.” He smiles.
“Be right back.” He kisses me before standing up.
I lie back down on the chair with a huge smile on my face and the sweet taste of him on my tongue.
The door snicks shut only for me to hear it open again a second later.
Confused, I look up, but I realize it’s Atlas’s door.
Shit, I should have remembered he’s right there next to us.
He could have walked out at any time. He stumbles out onto the balcony, shirtless but with a pair of gym shorts on his hips.
I swear this man doesn’t own a shirt. I guess if I had a body like that, I might not wear them either.
I straighten a bit. “You two should learn to keep that shit inside,” he slurs. “Not everyone wants to hear it.”
With a hard glare, he stumbles to the railing.
“Atlas, you should step back.”
“You’re not my dad!” He rolls his eyes, shaking his head. His elbows slip on the railing before he rights himself. He’s making me so nervous. “He was mine first, you know?”
“What?”
“Grey. He’s my best friend. You come in and take all your time. I mean his. Time, his time. You take all of it,” he stumbles over his words.
“Atlas—”
“Everything is changing. Nothing’s the same. All of you all keep on keeping on.” He spins toward me. “Where does that leave me, huh?” He takes a sip of his drink. “With no one.”
I walk toward him but then I hear our door open. Grey freezes, watching Atlas. “Hey. What’s going on?” His attention is on his friend who is swaying.
“Oh!” Atlas snorts. “You can see me after all.” He sips. “Thought I was visible for a sec.”
“You mean invisible?” I whisper.
“Shut up,” Atlas hiccups.
“Hey!” Grey snaps. “Don’t talk to him like that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, your highness.” Atlas bows, stumbling forward, and Grey catches him around the waist.
Grey shakes his head. “You’re drunk. Go in your room and sleep it off.”
“Okay, Daddy.” He snorts, smoothing his hand across Grey’s stomach. It makes me squirm. I don’t like this feeling at all.
Grey grabs him by the shoulders and pushes him back, watching him closely. “I don’t have time for your bratty bullshit right now.”
“Well ha, and wow. You’ve never got time, Daddy Grey. Always Felix time. Never Atlas time. I’m sick of it!” He slashes the air. Grey ducks, narrowly missing his flailing hand.
“Okay.” Grey smirks. “Come on. Back to bed we go. We have a fitting tomorrow and Oli will kick your ass if you throw up on your tuxedo.” He looks back to me. “Just going to get him into bed.” He kisses me between the eyes, and I see Atlas’s narrow.
“Where the fuck is my forehead smooch?”
Grey barks out a laugh, giving him one too. “You’re acting like a child, you know that? Like a toddler denied snack time.”
“Then give me a snack, Daddy.” Atlas winks then hiccups.
Grey grabs him by the back of his neck, steering him into his room.
“I’ll be right back.” He disappears into the room with Atlas.
I don’t understand. He doesn’t act like this with anyone else.
Maybe I just don’t know him. But Andre just joined their group and Atlas is nice to him.
He was even nice to that Knox guy, and they’re on rival teams. It doesn’t make sense. What would make him—”
It clicks like a cog snapping into place.
Holy shit.
Does Grey not realize it?
It makes sense, doesn’t it? Why else would Atlas be like this?
Mosquitoes are starting to eat me alive, so I go inside to wait for Grey, unease clenching my stomach.
This is crazy. Should I say something or let it go?
When I step into the room I hear a knock.
I walk to the door, looking out the peephole, seeing Andre. I open it. “Hey.”
His long hair is pulled up into a bun. I notice now the sides are shaved, and it looks really good. “Hey, just wanted to remind Grey fittings are at eleven. He can go meet Oli down at our room. I’m going to have breakfast with Vanessa first. Where is he?”
“He’s dealing with Atlas. He’s drunk.” Andre curses under his breath.
“He seemed . . . upset.” Andre eyes me. “And I mean, what’s weird is, he seems to be mad at me specifically, even though I don’t know him.
” It’s there, the flicker in his eyes that confirms everything for me. “He’s in love with him, isn’t he?”
Andre shifts uncomfortably, all but confirming it. “It’s messy, okay? And complicated.”
“Does Grey know?”
Andre barks out a laugh. “Hell no. Your boy is oblivious. Unfortunately, Atlas needs to face this.”
“He hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you. Atlas doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. Jealous and bitchy? Absolutely. But he doesn’t hate you.” Andre’s throat works. “I have a feeling Atlas hates himself more than anything.”
“Why?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. The only person who knows his deal is Grey.” Our door slides open and Grey steps into the room. “Hey. Just telling Felix what time tomorrow. How’s drunky?”
“Passed out. He’s been acting up so much lately.”
Andre gives me a look. “I’m going to bed. See you guys in the morning.” He beams.
I turn to Grey. Should I tell him? It feels wrong. “Is he okay?”
Grey grabs my hand, pulling me toward the bed.
He sits on it, scrubbing his beard. “How do I explain?” he thinks.
“Atlas has a lot of issues he thinks he can outrun with alcohol. He’s been through a lot of horrible things, and that pain needs to be dealt with.
” He shrugs. “The problem is, he has to be ready to deal with it.”
“And he doesn’t want to?” He shakes his head. “Sounds exhausting.”
Grey thinks for a moment. “Yes and no. He’s my best friend, but I can’t solve his problems for him. I can only be here for him. He has to want to help himself.”
While that’s understandable, I wonder if Grey realizes how deep Atlas’s feeling go.
By the oblivious grin on his face right now as he looks at me, I can safely say no. Should I say something? I’m not sure. The selfish part of me doesn’t want to.
What if I tell him and he wants Atlas instead?