Chapter 31
THIRTY ONE
Felix
It’s funny how long the plane ride seemed on the way there, because the ride back is blinking by.
Luckily, Steven and I are sitting in different rows on the plane, but I can say it’s turning out to be the shortest plane ride in history.
I had the idea of asking a stewardess to help me, but what’s the point?
All it would do is put more people in danger, and like I told Grey . . .
Steven always wins.
I’m not even shocked. I’m not even sad. I’m just numb.
With an eight-hour flight and two layovers, I have plenty of time for my mind to keep busy with all the things he’s going to do to me once we get back home. I knew this would happen. I told Grey it would. And you know, I almost forgot myself.
He also told me there was nothing going on between him and Atlas.
I rest my head on the window, watching the clouds float by. “You alright?” The older woman next to me asks, and I don’t know what to say. We’re all trapped on this flight. I can’t very well tell her what’s going on. What would be the point?
Steven would hurt her too. I’m sure of it.
If you can threaten a child, you have no limits.
I tell her I’m fine, just motion sick. She offers me some medicine and I decline.
Now my head rests on the window of his car. I feel defeated. I’m not sure why. I knew this would happen. It always does. I always end up back here. Except this time I fell in love with someone who loves someone else.
Grey is probably still with Atlas now. In bed. Loving his body the way I thought he loved mine. They’re best friends, and Atlas is incredibly handsome. They make sense. Grey and I never made sense.
Even if he goes up to the room and finds me gone, he’ll probably be happy the problem took care of itself. No one is coming to save me, and I don’t even think I have the energy right now to save myself.
I’m done. I don’t care anymore.
“You know, I really thought you were smarter than this.” I feel numb. He’s talked on and off, but I haven’t said a word. I’ve been silently saying goodbye to the life I thought I could live. I should have known.
I just want it to end.
I glance up as he pulls into a gas station. “I need gas. Don’t be stupid.” He pulls up to a pump and gets out. It’s the first real breath of air I’ve taken since he forced me out of that hotel room.
A hot tear slips down my cheek. This is it. I swipe it away. I look out the window and see a woman pumping gas next to us, but she’s looking at me, her brows scrunched. She looks up and sees Steven, then looks back to me. I blink fast, clearing whatever she’s seeing out of my eyes.
She finishes up and walks over here. No. No, no, no. She raps on my window, and Steven snaps in her direction. “Is he okay?” she asks, her voice muffled by the window.
“He’s not feeling great.” I hear Steven through the window he left down on his side. “Stomach bug. Taking him to the hospital.”
“Aw.” She looks at me, but I try to tell her something with no words. “That’s too bad. Feel better,” she says to me.
I press my hand to the window. Do it. Sign for help. Do it. Do it. She looks at me before Steven gets back in the car, slamming his door shut. He waves at her through the window, and she turns back to her car then gets in.
Pain slices my scalp. He fists my hair, wrenching me to look at him.
“You truly are one dumb fuck, aren’t you?
” He slams my head into the window. “You think you had it bad before. You’ll be on your fucking knees begging to have your old life back.
You have no clue how good you had it. Stop being fucking stupid. ”
He lets me go and I touch my forehead. Thankfully no blood. Sharp slices of pain heat my scalp and I want to cry, but nothing comes out. He begins to drive. The silence in this car is choking. I sit up, seeing the signs for County Road thirty-five going into Maserville.
Where Grey lives.
“Where are we going?”
“Do you think I’m going to let you fuck a professional athlete and not make him compensate me?” He shakes his head. “If you don’t start apologizing now, your ass won’t see the fucking sun for a year.”
“He’s not even home. Why are we going there?” He won’t be home for days. A slow smile smears across his face.
“Well, if he wants you so goddamn bad, he can have you.” What the hell.
“Bleeding out all over his carpet. By the time he gets home I’ll be long gone, taking whatever of value he has with me.
You’re no good to me, Felix. Too much fucking trouble.
” He braces one hand on the steering wheel, glancing over at me.
“But you won’t make a fucking fool of me. ”
I can’t. No, I can’t let Grey see that. Even if he wants someone else. That’s his home, his safe place. “Take me back home. I promise. I promise I’ll—” Pain ricochets through me as the back of his hand connects with my jaw.
“All I did was take care of you and you hurt me in return. He wants you so goddamn bad, he can have you. In pieces all over his floor.”
The familiar woods up to his house come into view.
There’s no one out here. Grey lives secluded, the closest neighbor miles away.
If I were even to escape and run, where would I go?
My anxiety ramps up as we drive up the dirt road to his house.
How did he even find me here? That’s the question I keep asking.
He was at work, so how would he have known?
Then I met Alyssa and she drove to pick up Lianna, then we went to Grey’s. “How did you find me?” I have to know.
He smirks, chilling me. “You think you’re so fucking clever.” He shakes his head and pulls up the drive to Grey’s house. “Open the gate. If you think about running, I’ll nail you to his fence as a welcome home present.”
I’m not scared. I don’t know why I’m having this realization now. I’m not scared, I’m tired, and I still want to protect Grey from seeing that. He’s softer than he looks, and if he finds me dead in this house, it’s going to haunt him.
At least Atlas will be there to support him.
I’m so tired.
I get out of the car, walking over to his gate and punching in the code. Lianna’s birthday. The fence beeps and opens, allowing him to drive through. If I run, I wonder how far I could get. Steven’s cold eyes are on me as he drives.
Not far. I know I can’t outrun him.
I get back in the car and let him drive us up the driveway.
The thing is, I don’t even care. When he’s parked, I get out of the car, and as I’m walking to the door, he slams me against the house wrenching my hair back.
“Smile for the camera.” I don’t think Grey’s phone was even on him.
I guess it’s good he won’t see this now. He can enjoy the rest of his vacation.
Steven’s lips are next to my ear, and I squirm as he kisses the side of my face. “You’re thousands of miles away.” My eyes flick to the camera. “I’m going to use him and leave him to bleed out all over your floor. Teach you to take what’s mine again.”
No, no, no. This is evidence. This is . . . Then it hits me. He’s fucking insane. He has no intention of leaving this house alive either. Which means I have no leverage. Nothing to plead or beg for.
Neither of us are leaving this house alive.
Steven’s insane.
My eyes lift to his door cam. “I’m sorry, Grey.”
And I mean it.
He forces me into the house after I unlock the door.
We step inside to the living room, and all I see is pieces of us around the house.
The night we watched the hockey game together.
Grey resting his leg while we watched movies.
Meals I’d made for him. The way he could get like twenty minutes into a show and fall asleep on me.
I look around and it hurts too much. The memories are hell.
“He thought I didn’t notice your shoes.” He shakes his head. “Dumb fuck.”
I turn on him. “No he’s not.” I glare. “Grey is smarter, stronger, and better than you’ll ever be.”
“What did you say to me?”
“I know you heard me.” Even if he wants Atlas. Even if he doesn’t want me. Grey brought me back to life. He showed me what I’m worth. No matter what, I’m grateful to him. It’s not his fault his heart belongs to someone else. I love him so much.
I’m just sad I’ll never get to tell him.
Steven walks up to me, but this is the thing about beating someone down until they have nothing left to give you.
I don’t care anymore. He’s taken everything from me.
For the first time in my life, I felt what it’s like to love someone and have someone love me.
Steven has taken everything from me, but he can’t take my memories.
He can’t take my worth, as much as he tries to strip it from me.
I am not afraid of him. “You’re sad and pathetic. And a bully. I never loved you like I love him. That’s what it’s supposed to be like. You never loved me. You’re pathetic.”
Steven’s eyes darken on me. He steps toward me.
He takes out his gun, and I think he’s going to shoot me, but he whips it across my face.
I crumple to the ground. Sharp pain throbs in my eye socket, and I clutch my face, my vision fading.
“Pathetic, huh?” I hear him, then I hear the familiar sound of his belt.
“We’ll see how pathetic I am. Smile for the camera. ”