Chapter 22 #2
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said faintly.
“Good,” she said, unable to hide her grin.
He laughed softly and shook his head. “You’re somethin’ else, Kate McGrath.”
She ducked her head, a sudden wave of hot embarrassment coursing through her at her bold banter.
Something about him drew out sides of her that only her family had seen.
Since when did she flirt with handsome young men?
Kate felt heat rising in her face. She looked around, flustered, trying to find something else to talk about.
She needed to turn this conversation away from talk of her choices of attire.
She saw her father shaking hands with a tall fellow.
Kate hurriedly cleared her throat. “Looks like Pa’s made a deal. ”
Jacob glanced over to the other side of the corral. “Your team not doin’ good?”
“They’re holdin’ on for now, but Pa doesn’t want to risk it if they come up lame …
” Kate trailed off, squinting over at her father, brow furrowed.
“But that’s not the teamster. This fellow’s as skinny as a beanpole.
” Her father looked around and spotted her, waving her over enthusiastically.
She could feel his excitement from here. Something big had happened.
“Looks like whatever the beanpole is sellin’ is worth gettin’ excited about,” Jacob mused.
“I’ll say,” Kate said. She gave the bay a final pat and turned to walk back around the pen. Jacob fell in step beside her, the ease of his presence bringing a warmth to Kate’s heart. She was so glad she had months yet to enjoy his company. Even if that was all she would ever have.
“Katie-bird!” Pa called as they neared the pair of men. “Ya won’t believe what I just found!”
Kate couldn’t help but smile at her father’s exuberance and laughed as he squeezed her in a fierce hug. “What is it?”
He held her at arm's length, green eyes twinkling. “Home!”
Jacob stood by, forgotten amidst the excitement, listening to Aaron tell Kate all about the homestead he’d found off the Lander Cutoff north into the foothills of the Wind River Range.
Apparently Mr. Beanpole (he introduced himself as Conrad Avery in a surprisingly deep voice) had a wife who couldn’t take the pioneering life anymore, so they’d pulled up stakes, drove their wagon back to Fort Laramie, and waited until someone came through looking to take over ownership of a spread in the middle of nowhere.
Apparently the neighboring family had taken the same notion and had joined them on the trek back East.
The more Jacob heard about the place, the more he knew it was perfect for the McGraths.
He was happy for them, really. But he couldn’t help the melancholy that slowly flooded his heart.
He had managed to salvage his friendship with Kate despite that electrifying kiss.
He couldn’t stop thinking about it. She pulled at him like a magnet, and he wanted to be close to her even if all he could have was simple companionship.
She had pushed him away, but he couldn’t help it; he needed to be close to her, craved being near her.
He was a ship tossed by the waves and she was his anchor, tethering him to solid ground.
He gazed at Kate’s animated face as she listened to her father, asking questions, her deep brown eyes alight with excitement.
He thought he’d have months yet. But now he had to let her go.
She and her father moved off, eager to tell Edith and the boys, tugging Mr. Avery in their wake.
Jacob stared after them, feeling Kate’s absence keenly.
The day seemed a little more gray than it had with her by his side.
The ease of her company was such a balm to his spirit.
The way they had talked out at Chimney Rock as he bared his soul and grief made him feel seen.
Since he was a kid, he’d always had to keep it together, take care of himself and make sure the people around him were taken care of as well.
Somehow, Kate was able to break through those walls of self-reliance and take hold of him in a way he’d never felt before.
She held his heart in her hands. He felt exposed.
Laid bare before her, yet totally safe. And he’d have to say goodbye all too soon.
Before they turned the corner around the barracks, Kate looked back at him, catching his eye over her shoulder.
She gave him a sad little smile, somehow mirroring in her expression the melancholy in his heart.
She had found her home, the place in the hills she’d always wanted.
She should be happy. Then why did she look so forlorn?
Could it be that she was thinking of the goodbyes she’d have to make?
Did it hurt her heart to think of leaving him, like it hurt his to think of watching her go?
He hung his head. And so what if it did? It was too late now.
Raindrops started pattering quietly on the brim of his hat.
Fool. You’ve only known her since spring!
What’s got you all turned about? A couple of conversations with a strange girl who might match you throw for throw in a ropin’ competition?
He scoffed and shook his head, trying to dispel the hold she had on him.
But the thought of his life without Kate McGrath in it made him hurt inside.
He growled and stalked over to Kip and pulled on the slipknot with unnecessary force.
The gelding sidestepped as he mounted. Jacob reined Kip through the crowded fort as quickly as he could, and once free of the press, he nudged him into a canter. He really needed to clear his head.
Home.
The word still reverberated in Kate’s mind like the tolling of a bell, even as the twilight deepened into evening. The sheer weight of it made it hard to breathe. All her dreams encapsulated in one word, coming to fruition before her very eyes. She furrowed her brow. Then why wasn’t she happy?
She kept remembering the look on Jacob’s face as she left him standing by the stock pen.
He had smiled at her, but his eyes hadn’t crinkled at the corners like they usually did.
She tried not to think of how many days she had left before they had to say goodbye.
She shook her head slightly, trying vainly to expel him from her mind, putting on a smile at her brothers’ animated interrogation of Mr. Avery.
But instead of joining in the excitement with her family around the fire, she was mourning something that could never be.
Mr. Avery was describing the homestead in his slow, sonorous voice.
“—and the cabin’s rough, mind you, but she’s sealed up real good.
And the missus cleaned it top to bottom ’fore we left.
Didn’t want no one to think ill of her housekeepin’.
Not sure what it’ll be like after all these months with no one in it, mind.
” He spat into the fire. “Couldn’t finish the barn.
It was just me, you see, and I worked my hands nearly to the bone tryin’ to git it done.
There’s a roof and four walls, but not much else.
” His eyes took on a melancholy dreaminess.
“But that view. The little crick at the bottom of the hill, wide spaces, and them mountains sittin’ tall against the horizon.
” He sighed. “I’ll sure enough miss it.”
As her brothers continued to pepper Mr. Avery with questions, Ma leaned close to Kate, talking softly. “Isn’t it wonderful, Katherine? The Lord has brought us to our own little Promised Land!” Her eyes sparkled with a liveliness that Kate hadn’t seen in weeks.
“Like a dream come true,” Kate said, mustering the barest enthusiasm into her voice.
“I am praying all the best for Mr. and Mrs Avery. Your father said that Mrs. Avery had lost a baby this past spring. Poor dear. And with no extra help, Mr. Avery just couldn’t handle the cattle alone. But with your father and Ian and Danny, and Andrew as well—”
Kate looked at her mother in surprise. “Wait, what? Andrew?”
“Yes, of course, weren’t you listening? Just yesterday Andrew talked with your father about hiring on as a cowhand wherever we end up settling. And here we are, finding a place the very next day!” She squeezed Kate’s hand and gave her a knowing smile. “God is so good!”
“He is indeed,” Kate replied faintly, her mind whirling.
Large drops of rain began to fall, and all at once everyone realized how late it was.
There were handshakes all around. Mr. Avery glided out into the twilight like a wraith, and everyone took to their pallets for the night.
But Kate lingered once again. Her family was used to her late-night solitary musings.
She stared into the dying embers of the fire.
Kate just couldn’t make sense of the tumult inside. She sat lost in thought, even as her dress grew damp with the light rain. A long time passed. The camp grew still. A log split and sparks burst upwards, floating into the twilight. Andrew materialized out of the night into the soft glow.
He squatted down next to her. “So you heard then? About me comin’ with y’all to your new spread?” he asked softly.
“Yes,” Kate responded, just as softly.
“I was just squarin’ things up with Proctor,” he said, tossing a twig onto the flames.
“And?”
“Didn’t seem too choked up about it.”
“That’s good.” The breeze picked up a bit and she hugged her arms.
He looked over at her, dark eyes serious in the firelight. “Is it?” She frowned and opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but he continued on. “I mean, is it all right by you that I’m comin’ along?”
Truth be told, she didn’t really know how she felt about it.
Andrew stirred up such conflicting emotions inside her.
He had been such a friend to her family, and he was a good man, but so aloof, so hard to read.
Did he just want to keep a hold of steady work with a man he respected, or did he have other designs on staying close to her family?
She frowned, not really wanting to follow that train of thought.
He seemed to be a man who knew what he wanted, and a lot of his decisions had ended up tying himself closer to her family.
But he had been a great help to her father, and her brothers respected him.
Even Ma held him in high esteem. So she smiled reassuringly despite her turbulent thoughts, wanting to put him at ease.
“Yes, of course, Andrew. Why wouldn’t it be all right? ”
He let out a breath and smiled, his perfect teeth gleaming faintly in the dying light of the fire.
“I’m right glad to hear that, Miss Kate,” he said.
Andrew stared at her for a long moment. Kate shivered at the look of possessiveness in his gaze.
“Good night,” he said and left, leaving behind the smell of soap and pomade.