24. ~Nico~
24
~Nico~
I’d woken up to coldness.
All three of them had left the bed by the time I’d come to.
Where Julian and Milo were concerned, I’d figured they’d wanted me to get as much sleep in as I could, while that was still possible. Before we were diving back into the thick of it all once again.
But Caterina had been another story.
Because, as I’d started waking up, I’d felt her respond when she’d registered me shifting against her, obviously realizing I was awakening. And then she’d hurried off the bed like her sexy little ass had been on fire.
My sleep-infused call to her had been cut off by the bathroom door closing, then even locking.
And since then, I’d put my pajama pants back on and settled at the foot of the bed, watching the door and waiting for her to emerge.
For a good ten minutes of that wait, the shower had been running.
But another ten had elapsed since that had stopped.
I rubbed my thumb over the ring I’d taken out of my nightstand drawer several minutes ago.
Her ring.
The ring that she’d been without since she’d been away after Stover had made her leave it behind, so she couldn’t be tracked.
“This ring represents what the four of us now share together.”
It wasn’t what it had been framed as to our enemies, not an engagement ring. It was far beyond that. It was about the four of us, our relationship. And, more than even that, it had been intended as something for her, to give her hope through the nightmare we’d endured.
“In those moments when you’re alone, or feel alone, you’ll need something to hold on to. Something more immediate than the promise of winning this war. And that’s what the special ring we’re currently having made for you is intended as… something to hold on to.”
And she’d had to leave it behind.
At a time when she would’ve needed it most.
And, honestly, at a time when we’d needed her to have it with her most, a symbol of our foursome still being intact across the distance and the obstacles between us. To know that things were still intact on her end.
Because, as much as I understood the need for her to leave and why she’d made that decision, particularly at a time when she’d been shaken and not thinking clearly, at its heart it still felt like she’d walked away when she should’ve stayed and fought for our relationship.
I hated even thinking that, even acknowledging that it was how I felt, but I hadn’t been able to shake it. The disappointment and resentment that I felt toward her for doing that. Maybe it was irrational, but either way, I needed to put it out there to her in order to take away its power and the way I knew it would fester if it wasn’t addressed, the way it could poison our relationship going forward.
As ridiculous as it sounded, her leaving the bed this morning had triggered all of that for me, the act of leaving us in the cold. It felt like a small version of that happening again.
“This is what you do, Caterina. You run and shut down. And you know what? There’s always going to be a reason to. With anything.”
Those were the words I’d levied upon her months ago.
She’d come a long way since then.
But now there was this.
Her leaving, then her hightailing it into the bathroom in what I was interpreting as her trying to avoid not only the intimacy of it, but to avoid dealing with everything unspoken that we’d put on hold last night.
Just for last night.
I couldn’t allow it to go on longer than that.
I pushed off the bed, intending to end this wait with her, to see to this thing right here and now.
But then the door opened and Milo and Julian strode on in.
Milo was carrying a tray of food. Caterina’s favorite egg white omelet and bowl of berries combo.
And Julian was radiating a whole lot of urgency.
“Dammit, I thought the two of you would still be asleep,” Milo said, walking over to the nearest nightstand and putting the tray of food down. “I’d planned to bring this in for Caterina and have her wake up to breakfast in bed with all of us here in the bed together. I would’ve brought you something, too, but you don’t like to eat in the morning, especially not until after your smoke and espresso.” He thumbed Julian. “And this one couldn’t wait. I found him in the kitchen scarfing down some chocolates, while Levi was making him a breakfast sandwich.”
“I took longer than expected because Stover needed my help with his arm,” Julian explained.
“His arm?” I queried.
“It needed stitches. He suffered a nasty stab wound last night. Didn’t tell anyone because he didn’t want the focus on his shit, just on Cat settling back in here.”
“Speaking of that,” I said, holding up the ring. “I’m going to—”
“ Don’t,” Julian told me. “Fucking don’t, Nico.”
“Don’t what? Sort all this out between the four of us, so it doesn’t fester and worsen?”
“Don’t push her to give you the answers and relief that you want.”
“You can’t tell me you don’t want the same.”
“Of course I do.” He gestured at Milo. “So does he. We all do.”
“Then what’s the issue? Why are you asking me to let it go?”
“It’s not about letting it go.” He shifted his weight and folded his arms across his bare chest. “I got into the Caterina of it all with Stover and Lev a little bit down in the kitchen. They were worried about her shutting down, advising that we don’t let it play out like that. But then it hit me. They’re both on the periphery these days when it comes to her. They haven’t been in the thick of it like we have with her. They haven’t seen her change and evolve with us. They don’t really know that version of her. Especially not to the depth that we do. The four of us have all grown together. Because of each other, because of our foursome relationship. Cat leaving was a setback, of course. But there was a lot bearing down on her at the time.”
“You’re saying we should wait for her to come to us?”
“I’m saying that if we don’t, we won’t know what’s actually real, what’s actually coming from her, rather than from the pressure that we’d be putting on her.”
“This is Caterina, J.”
“This is her after being shaken really badly, Nico.”
“Even before losing the baby, there were cracks,” Milo piped up.
“So, you want me to tiptoe around this? Or worse, actually, simply ignore it altogether and just hope she comes to us and addresses everything?”
“Just give it a little time. She only got back last night,” Julian said.
I pushed off the bed. “You’re acting like I haven’t already made allowances. Last night with that fucker, Stover? Then the whole Levi of it all.”
“And the Levi thing worked out incredibly well,” Julian pointed out. “He’s become an indispensable ally and a friend to all of us, not just Cat anymore.”
“I agree, but the rest… I don’t fucking know about that. Stover being her actual father… Caterina distanced from us, yet physically here now… all the unsaid shit…” I scrubbed my hand over the coarse stubble plaguing my jawline.
“Nico—” Milo started.
But I’d heard enough.
I’d stayed on my fucking leash enough.
I tossed her ring to him. “Enjoy your breakfast in bed. I need to video conference with Carlo concerning where we’re at after the ambush the other night. When you’re done, shore up security at the Manor now she’s back. Even with Angelo dead, the hit could still be active. She could still be a target so no one can know she’s here outside of our most trusted own.”
“Nico, wait—”
I held up my hand.
Julian tried to stop me from leaving too, but I dodged him, and then stormed out.