Chapter 28
“I don’t understand what you were doing at a place like that.”
Sheriff Adams hadn’t lingered beyond a polite exchange while getting Jamie’s scooter out of the trunk, but it was clear Dr. Burdett had already called Mom about the situation, and now she was pacing the hall while Anna plugged the scooter in to charge.
Caroline had scurried upstairs after the flash of a warning look from Mom, and Grandma’s TV was blaring indistinctly from down the corridor.
This war zone was theirs alone. “Anything could have happened.”
“Well, I wasn’t buying drugs, which is obviously what you’re thinking.
” Overhead, the fan whirled, doing nothing except pushing warm air and bad feelings around them.
Anything could have happened. As if Anna wasn’t aware of the dangers.
As if the thing had taught her nothing. “And you know what, Mom, less lecturing and more sympathy because I just found a dead body would be nice.” A dead body.
It was still surreal. Jamie’s open eyes, empty of life.
“What are you doing hanging around with junkies?” Mom paused, one hand on her hip, standing like she used to when Anna was a little kid. “What is going on with you?”
“I’m an adult, Mom, I can have friends you don’t approve of. Anyway, he’s dead now, so you don’t have to worry about him anymore.”
It was a sharp and unnecessary retort and Mom looked slapped.
“I’m trying to understand, that’s all. We’ve only been here a few weeks and you haven’t mentioned making any friends. You can only have barely known him.”
“Maybe I didn’t know him well. But I liked him.”
Mom leaned back against the old dresser, weary in her helplessness. Anna noticed her eyebrows were neater and darker and her lashes fuller. Her skin looked fresher. Had she been to a salon today? A realization dawned. It’s a date. Lucas the plumber. She was making herself fuckable for him.
“I think you should go back to therapy,” Mom said, standing taller. “Dr. Sadler said you needed more sessions. I’m sure we can find the money.”
“Screw you, Mom.” Anna’s whole body was trembling, her fingernails digging into the palms of her hands. “You going to fuck the plumber? That’s what all this effort is for? Is that how desperate you are?”
“Sorry to interrupt.”
Anna and her mother startled in unison as Dr. Burdett’s shadow cut across the wooden floor. The front door was still open and in the doorway he had the embarrassed air of a man who knew he’d walked into an argument but also was old enough to know how to ride it out and defuse it.
“I made some blueberry muffins yesterday. Promised Evelyn I’d bring some over. I was on my way when I got called out to—well, you know. So they may be a little warm from the truck.”
“I’m so sorry, Johnny.” Mom flushed. “You shouldn’t have heard that.”
“Oh hell, families fight. Especially after difficult days.” He looked at Anna, his eyes gentle. “And this has been a bad day for you, Anna, but you did well. It must have been a terrible shock.”
Mom looked a little more sheepish at that, but Anna was too wound up to care.
Mom knew how she felt about therapy. It hadn’t done any good.
If anything, it had made her feel worse.
The black ball of tangled emotions inside her could not be unraveled without knowing who was responsible.
No amount of talking was going to make that go away.
She could cope with everyone else having failed her, brushing it under the rug.
But she couldn’t cope with having failed herself.
Her brain had turned against her. “When will you know what was in that syringe?”
“Oh, for god’s sake, Anna!” Mom cut in. “Leave the man in peace. It’s not your business.”
“It’s fine, Claire.” He looked at Anna. “It’s been sent away for analysis. Will be a couple of days. It’s not like the movies or TV. These things take time. Especially out here in the sticks. We don’t have the resources of the big cities.”
“Mom’s in her room. I’ll fetch her and make some coffee. It’ll be good for her to sit on the porch and get some fresh air, if you can call it that. Then I’ll call Lucas and cancel our plans. I can’t leave her and Caroline tonight.” She looked at Anna, almost on the verge of tears.
“You don’t trust me to look after them?” Anna’s face burned red, in part with guilt, remembering how she’d gone to the cemetery and how she’d found Grandma on her knees keening over the dirt when she got back. Mom said nothing, so her answer was clear.
“Don’t do that, I can stay,” Dr. Burdett said.
“Evelyn and I have been planning a rewatch of Sunset Boulevard. And I’ve promised Caroline a tetherball game in the yard.
She’s loving that old set I gave her. I can rustle up some food for everyone and then watch the movie with Evelyn while you go out and enjoy yourself. It’s Friday night, after all.”
“Are you sure?” It looked like Mom was ready to fall to her knees with gratitude. “I’ve been looking forward to it.”
“Sure I’m sure. And same for you, Anna. A young woman like you should be out dancing on the weekend, don’t you think?”
There was an awkward silence after that.