The power we have
THE POWER WE HAVE
Amara
I’m starting to get a little nervous. Celine doesn’t seem like the type to stand someone up, but she’s 45 minutes late already.
I wish I had offered to meet her at the hotel, but for some reason, I suggested we meet outside my apartment. It’s closer to the park, although not by much. Now I regret it. I don’t live in a very safe neighbourhood, and I’ve been catcalled twice already. It’s nothing I can’t handle, but I don’t want to be caught turning some jeering man into a frog. That’s a dead giveaway for sure.
But I know the real reason I asked Celine to meet me here. The hotel feels like her territory. It reminds me of the complicated situation we’re in, of her relationship with Tudor. And it feels like work. I wanted to meet her on a night I’m not working, so we can take full advantage of our time together.
And so that it can be…I don’t know… separate from everything else.
I just want a calm, peaceful date with her.
“A calm, peaceful date where you grill her for information about her vampire clan’s nefarious plans to undermine our coven?” hoots a voice from behind me.
“Merlin!” I snap, turning around to glare at the small hawk, perched upon a dented garbage bin. “Stop listening into my thoughts!”
“It’s my job, I’m your familiar,” he replies, ruffling his feathers indignantly. “Don’t forget, you’re here on a covert intelligence mission, not a fun vacation.”
I roll my eyes at him. “I know , Merlin. I’ll make sure to ask her some questions about Tudor, don’t worry. Now get out of sight before she…”
Merlin’s head turns sharply back to the road, and I follow his stare.
“Oh my Goddess …” I whisper.
A gleaming, black car pulls up. It looks completely out of place on this street. I would feel nervous even getting into it. It’s shiny, and eerily quiet.
Celine opens the back door and gets out. I’m struck by how incredible she looks. She’s not dressed up or anything. Quite the contrary. She looks more casual than she usually does, wearing tight dark jeans and a sleek leather jacket. Her hair is in a high ponytail, two braids along the sides. A tiny gold cross dangles from one of her earlobes.
Despite myself, I swoon a little. I hope Merlin’s not watching. But I can feel his disapproving glare on the back of my neck.
“You look lovely,” she says, her eyes traveling up my body. I agonized slightly over my outfit, and now I’m glad that I did. I wear a simple sundress with a print of bright yellow lemons, and a matching yellow leather bag.
She takes my hand and brings it to her lips. I feel her fangs graze my skin as she kisses it.
I’m embarrassed to admit there’s a warm flutter in my stomach at the gesture. Am I really this easy?
Yes, yes I am.
She puts a hand to her heart. “Désolé, Amara. My sincere apologies for my lateness.”
“That’s all right, I’m glad you’re here now. Are you still ok to go to the park?”
“Of course,” she gestures toward the car, holding the door open for me.
“Oh! I thought we could walk, it’s not too far.”
“Are you sure? It will be faster to drive.”
“I’m not in any rush.”
She shuts the door and shouts something to the driver in French. I put my arm through her’s as the car drives away, and we start walking.
“Did you think you’d get lucky in the back seat?” I tease.
“I’m already lucky,” she replies smoothly.
I hope it’s too dark for her to see my expression. I’m doing a terrible job of playing it cool. But I honestly don’t mind. Even though she’s so calm and collected, I find it very easy to be myself around her. She seems to like it. I guess that people are often very tense around her. That must become tiresome after a while.
“Thanks for taking me out,” I tell her. “I know you’ve got a busy schedule.”
“It’s my pleasure. I’d much rather be with you.”
“I bet you say that to all of your dates.”
She smirks, but doesn’t deny it. I can’t help feeling a little stab of jealously.
“Are there…many other dates?”
“None that look as good as you in a sundress.”
“That’s the right answer.”
“Well, it’s true.”
I try not to think about the other dates, especially not the ones she might be drinking from. I know we can’t have that kind of relationship, and I’m embarrassed that I would even consider it. It’s crazy enough to be on a date with her right now, what would the other witches think?
I guess Lavinia would be glad that I’m getting close with her, at least. I suppose I should use this opportunity to get some information.
“So…what’s it like running the business without Tudor?” I ask. “I’ve noticed he’s been gone quite a bit.”
“I actually prefer it. He has the tendency to micro-manage. When he’s away, I can do whatever I like.” She gives me a mischievous glance.
“Like rile up Cedric and Lazarus?”
“Precisely.”
“Is he really your brother? That must be complicated.”
A dark shadow falls over her face, and I know I’ve asked too much.
“It’s ok,” I say quickly. “If you don’t want to talk about it.”
She pauses, and I hope I haven’t ruined the mood. I know I should care more about getting more information from her, but it’s just not in my heart. I wish I didn’t care so much about this date, I know it’s silly, but I’m enjoying spending time with her and I don’t want it be ruined.
And…I find myself more and more curious about this mysterious vampire boss. She can seem so ruthless at times, and then at other times, something else peeks through. Like when she let me hold her in the hot tub that night. I keep wishing for another moment like that. I know what it’s like to have to be strong, to have to protect others because you’re the only one who can. Everyone needs someone who can hold them, when they need it.
I’m about to start talking about something else, to distract her, when she speaks.
“He’s not my biological brother. But he was turned at around the same time as me. By Tudor, of course. Cedric was his first progeny. He wanted to start building an empire.”
She keeps her eyes on the road ahead, and appears a little stiff. But despite her tenseness, I feel like something’s melted between us.
Emboldened by her vulnerability, I take another risk. “You must have been through so much together. I imagine you care about your brother quite a lot.”
Her eyes cut through the darkness, fixed on something down the road.
She nods ahead. “There’s your hot dog stand.”
I’m a little disappointed that our conversation is cut short, but then I smell the delicious scent of street food waft through the air.
“Ooh!” I squeal, light on my feet as we walk toward it. “I was worried it wouldn’t be open so late!”
“How many would you like?” Celine asks, pulling out a slim leather wallet.
“How many?” I wrinkle my nose at her. “Just one, but I can pay for it.”
“Nonsense. And it’s a fair question,” she says, putting up a single finger to the woman at the hot dog stand, who puts a sausage on the grill. “I saw you eat an entire tub of ice cream the other night. We didn’t even have ice cream, or hot dogs, when I was turned.”
“I really need to educate you in quantities of human food,” I say with a shake of my head. “A tub of ice cream is a perfectly appropriate portion for a night off, especially if it’s rocky road.”
“You’re the expert,” she concedes, handing a bill over to the woman and giving me the hot dog. “Keep the change.”
“Oh, thank you very much!”
Delighted, I heap my hot dog high with toppings, and realize far too late that it’s going to be quite messy for me to eat. I really need to go on more dates. I’m extremely rusty.
I attempt to eat the hot dog delicately, taking a small bite from the side. Celine notices my awkwardness immediately and raises her eyebrow in my direction. I give up on the act and take a large bite.
“Mm! This is good,” I grin at her. I scarf down the rest quickly, wiping my fingers with a napkin. “Sorry, I’m a messy eater.”
“Go ahead, enjoy yourself,” Celine says. Then she gives me a mischievous look. “I can be a messy eater too.”
I picture her with the girl at the back of the Succumb club, blood trickling down her chin. A warm, almost painful ache rises up inside me. I swallow, wishing that I was better at concealing my emotions. I can tell by the subtle shift in her eyes that she noticed how her words have disarmed me.
But she doesn’t say anything. She just keeps looking at me as though she’s trying to figure me out.
I look away from her. We’ve entered the park now. It’s a bit more sinister than it would be during the day, but I suppose that’s the occupational hazard of dating a vampire.
Sorry…I mean, the occupational hazard of being an undercover witch who’s spying on a family of vampires.
But the park is still beautiful. It’s a sprawling, green haven in the middle of the city, an endless labyrinth of trees and paths, benches and flowerbeds, punctuated with statues and fountains. There aren’t many other people around this late at night, so it’s just the two of us on the path. Glowing yellow lanterns light our way, mirrored by a few twinkling stars in the sky. Not so many as Hemlock Haven, of course. The city lights drown them out.
I wonder what else the city is drowning out. My logical and reasoning capabilities, obviously. I’m going on a walk in a dark park at night, alone, with a terrifying vampire.
She could do anything to me out here.
A shiver runs up by spine. But I don’t know if it’s fear…or a pl easant tingle of anticipation…
“Here,” says Celine, shrugging off her leather jacket. She hands it to me.
For a moment, I don’t know what to do. Then I realize that she must have mistaken my shiver for a chill.
I can feel the cool autumn air on my skin, but it doesn’t bother me much. Cold doesn’t affect witches that way, and I’ve always been the outdoorsy type. I suppose I’ve got to pretend it does.
“It’s a bit nippy, but I’m all right, you should keep…”
“Take it,” she says, putting it around my shoulders. “I don’t need it.”
“Thanks.”
The jacket is more comfortable and worn-in than it looks. Although it doesn’t keep me warm, a different sort of heat envelopes me as we continue our walk.
“Can I ask you another question?” I say.
“I don’t think I could stop you,” she answers.
“Why do you stop vampires from draining humans at the club?”
“I don’t stop vampires from draining humans.”
“That’s not true. You staked Lazarus’s progeny the first night I was working in the club.”
She keeps her eyes on the path in front of us. “I wanted to send Lazarus a message. And besides, draining breathers, it’s…bad for business. Can’t have customers dying every other day.”
“That’s not it. None of the other vampire clubs do that. They don’t mind if people disappear, as long as the vampires are healthy.”
“We have a reputation to uphold…”
“That’s not it either. I have another theory,” I say, stepping out in front of her so we’re facing each other. “I think that you don’t like it when vampires drain humans. It bothers you, and not because it’s bad for business. It bothers you because you don’t like to see innocent humans dying. That’s why you stopped Lazarus’s progeny. That’s why you saved Hallie.”
She scowls, and I know I’m right on track. There’s a little flutter in my chest at the thought. “You’re mistaken. I run a difficult and dangerous business. I can’t allow myself to care about every human life…”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I’ve seen you at the club. The other vampires, they treat the humans like prey. They glamour and enchant them, use glow to weaken them so they can feed from them. But you don’t. You find the humans who want to be fed on, and you make sure that you don’t feed on the same one twice.”
Her lip twitches, and she moves closer to me, in that smooth, vampiric way that always catches me off guard. “You’ve been watching me in the club?”
“That’s not the point,” I reply, but there’s a glint in her eyes. I try to steady myself again, but I’m feeling strangely weak in the knees. “The point is that I don’t think you’re the heartless, scary monster that you think you…”
Something shifts in the air around us. Both of us notice it immediately, but Celine is faster to respond. Her head turns on her neck with unnatural speed, to look at the path ahead of us.
It’s three men. They move with a staggering, aggressive gait that reveals their intentions. They hold bottles wrapped in paper and they smell awful.
“Hey ladies!” one of them shouts. Another lets out a loud, wet wolf whistle that pierces the dark night air.
My stomach drops. Celine’s eyes narrow into malevolent slits, the tips of her fangs beginning to appear over her bottom lip.
“Celine, don’t-” I hiss under my breath, but I’m interrupted by another jeer.
“Why don’t you leave a little for us, beautiful?”
The men are getting uncomfortably close. I quickly move between them and Celine, holding up my hands and addressing the three drunken idiots. “Listen, we don’t want any trouble. Let’s all just move on…”
But of course they don’t listen. On the contrary, my words seem to rile them up further. They surround us. One throws his bottle aside and it smashes, littering glass along the paved road.
“If you don’t want any trouble, why are you flaunting yourselves around here at night?” one of them asks, his words slightly slurred.
“We have a right to be here,” I tell him firmly. “Leave us alone.”
“No chance,” says the man to my left, moving a step too close to me. “All you need is a real man -”
With an inhuman blur of motion, Celine arcs around me. She grabs the man on my right by the collar of his shirt and hoists him up, then tosses him through the air toward the man standing in the middle, knocking them both to the ground like a bowling ball and pin. As the fall, their heads crack together sharply, and they cry out in pain as they tumble down, one on top of the other. Their limbs wriggle ungracefully on the ground.
Celine steps toward the man on my left, the one who made the last comment. She left him for last. Her eyes are narrowed in focus. She moves like a hunter, stalking her prey. The man’s face is contorted in confusion, too stunned to move.
“What the fuck! ” he gasps. “How did you…”
“Go on then,” Celine hisses. “Why don’t you show us what a real man is, hm?”
She takes the man by his neck and holds him straight up in the air. He’s too afraid to even shout, or perhaps his windpipe is restricted. He tries desperately to free himself, kicking his legs out and clawing at her hands. But she’s much too strong for him, of course. Her eyes are tinted red, and she opens her mouth, revealing her fully-protruded fangs, which curve with malicious elegance over her bottom lip.
The two men on the ground scramble to their feet, screaming in horror at Celine’s eyes and fangs. Without looking back, they run down the path to the entrance of the park.
But Celine’s gaze is trained on the third man, the one she dangles in the air in front of her. I know what she’s planning to do. I can feel the golden energy magic begin to pool around my fingers, my own power itching to join the fight. I put my hands behind my back.
“Celine, stop!” I shout. “He’s not worth it! Don’t hurt him!”
She ignores me, and her grip tightens on the man’s throat. He lets out a horrible, gargling noise as his windpipe is crushed. I’ve heard that noise before, too many times to count.
I’m not going to hear it again. Not if I can help it.
“Celine C?té!” I yell, forcing my body between her and the man. I look her dead in the eyes, forcing her to face me. “Let him down right now ! You’re not going to hurt this man!”
Irritation sharpens her features. “And why not? He started it! He would do the same to us.”
I shake my head, my resolve making my words bold, despite the fear building inside me. “It’s not about whether he would do the same to us. It’s about what you would want him to do, if he had the power we have.”
With a jolt of anxiety, I realize that I should have said “you” and not “we.” But she doesn’t seem to have noticed my slip. Her eyes become a little less red, and her grip loosens. I can hear the man take a rattling, shaky breath. He makes a whimpering sound.
“If you have power, you have the responsibility to treat others how you would want to be treated,” I tell her. “You have the right to defend yourself, but you don’t have the right to take his life if it isn’t necessary. Nobody has that right, no matter how powerful.”
She narrows her eyes, moving her gaze fully onto mine.
Her voice lowers, as quiet as the night itself. “Who are you?”
My heart stops. I fear she’s discovered me. But then she opens her hand, dropping the choking man. He stumbles down onto the paved ground. Wisely, he runs away toward the park entrance, without a word or another look.
And just like that, like the moon rising out of a cloud, the evening is illuminated. There’s only Celine and I, standing a hair’s breath away from each other on the silent path.
She surveys me with that same, probing look. Like she’s trying to figure me out.
“Why did you say that?” she asks, more curious than upset. “Why would you care about that man?”
I take a shaky breath, and pull the leather jacket more tightly around my shoulders. “It’s not about the man. It’s about us. I don’t want to be the sort of person who would stand by and watch someone be killed like that. That’s not who I am. That’s not how I was raised.
“And…that’s not who you are, either. You’re better than that. You’re better than Tudor Thornblade and Lazarus Gray.”
She doesn’t move, but something changes. Something shifts behind her violet eyes. Something softens deep within her.
And my heart beats a steady rhythm, one for both of us.
“Amara.” Her voice is like the whisper of the tall evergreens surrounding us, ageless and without fear. “Amara, I love you.”
I know it now. I know that it’s her. That she’s the only one I could ever love like this.
“I…I love you, too.”
I’m completely fucked.
But I don’t care right now.
Right now, on this perfect night, our lips meet. Not with the urgent, tenuous lust of two lovers.
But with the deep, unending satisfaction of two hearts coming together. One beating, one still. Both dedicated to each other completely and without reservation.
I push out every thought from my head. Perhaps if I don’t think, then I can be here forever. I can be with her, forever, locked in this moment in time.
Belonging just to her.