Chapter 12
12
C ass can hear Desi still crying even before he steps through the rift to her bedroom. “Cass,” she sniffles, looking up with watery eyes, and then: “JJ!”
JJ crosses the room in a flash, sliding onto her bed and reaching out. Desi throws herself into his waiting arms with a fresh wave of tears, burying her face in his scarf, and JJ meticulously adjusts the fabric to cover his exposed skin before pulling her closer.
Being extra careful after seeing what his touch did to Cass. For some reason, the little motion makes Cass’s chest ache.
“It’s okay,” JJ whispers into her hair, gently swaying back and forth. “You’re okay now, Desi. He can’t hurt you anymore?— none of them can hurt you anymore, okay? No one’s ever going to make you do anything you don’t want to do ever again. Cass and I are going to protect you, okay? I promise.”
Cass’s heart jumps into his throat. JJ doesn’t seem to notice, his attention focused on comforting Desi as her sobs slowly start to die down.
“Cass and I are going to keep you safe, okay?” JJ murmurs. Like it’s just so simple for him to refer to the two of them as a team, as both being equally invested in this little girl they’ve grown to love. “We’re always going to protect you.”
Swallowing hard, Cass steps forward, running his knuckles down Desi’s cheek. JJ twitches when Desi squirms in his arms, turning her big eyes on Cass.
“Always,” Cass confirms quietly, dropping a light kiss onto her forehead. “Nothing bad is ever going to get to you while JJ and I are around, okay? Never ever.”
He shoots a quick glance up at JJ, meeting his eyes. There’s something very soft and very still on JJ’s face, like he’s hovering on the edge of saying something, like he just now realized something important??—
Like their murmured promises feel like they’re for more than just Desi. Because they’re going to protect Desi, of course, going to make sure she’s safe and loved and happy, but they’re going to do it together.
It’s a promise to each other, too.
JJ breaks eye contact first, shifting Desi in his arms. “Desi, do you want to hug Cass for a little while?” he whispers.
Desi sniffles, turning back to JJ and nuzzling into his collar again. A little stung, Cass is just about to give them some privacy when Desi reaches out, grabs his sleeve in one small hand, and tries to tug him closer. “Yeah,” she mumbles.
JJ’s eyes snap up to meet Cass’s. Like smoke off a match, his words from earlier drift through Cass’s head.
Well, she loves you, too.
Cass’s heart hurts. Despite his rocky start with Desi, it looks like she does feel better with him around, does feel safer with him around??—
Does want both JJ and Cass to protect her in her most vulnerable moment.
“Um.” Slowly, carefully, JJ lifts an arm, reaching towards Cass. An invitation. “Yeah?”
Cass’s throat feels like cotton. “Yeah,” he says haltingly, and he clambers onto the bed next to them. JJ is leaning against the wall with Desi in his lap and his legs drawn up, and Cass hesitates before gesturing JJ forward. “Sit up for me?”
Frowning, JJ pushes himself off the wall. Before Cass can lose his nerve, he slides one leg behind JJ’s back, squeezes his other leg across JJ’s lap, and leans forward to wrap his arms around both him and Desi.
Hugging both of them from the side.
All at once, JJ is sitting ramrod straight, stiff and tense like he’s trying to touch Cass as little as possible. Cass can’t quite blame him?—despite all evidence to the contrary, they are still technically on opposite sides of a war?—but it still makes him feel inexplicably sad. “You could try relaxing, Jackson,” he mumbles against his shoulder.
For a long moment, JJ doesn’t move.
And then, unexpectedly, he reaches up and readjusts his scarf, making sure it fully covers the side of his neck.
Probably because, Cass realizes with a jolt, Cass’s forehead got too close to JJ’s skin without him even realizing it.
I’m sorry. I can’t turn it off. I would if I could, but? ? —
Cass’s chest feels tight. In a flash, he remembers JJ’s violent reaction to meeting Ez and Obie, how his first instinct was to push Cass behind him, to put himself between Cass and the threat??—
At the time, Cass thought JJ’s reaction was just an extension of his natural protectiveness with Desi. Now, though, he’s starting to think that maybe JJ immediately defending Cass wasn’t just a fluke.
Maybe he cares almost as much about Cass’s safety as he does about Desi’s.
With what seems like a great effort of will, JJ leans back until he’s resting against the wall again, curling the slightest bit towards Cass. Barely enough to be noticeable, but just enough to make Cass’s breath hitch. “Is this okay?” JJ whispers.
Cass swallows hard. “Yeah.”
Slowly, JJ drops his chin onto Desi’s hair. “You’re okay, Desi,” he murmurs, and his shoulders relax the slightest bit. “You’re okay.”
Cass doesn’t trust himself to speak. As Desi’s last tears gradually fade into gentle breaths, JJ keeps his head bowed towards her, occasionally whispering soft promises that he and Cass will always protect her, always keep her safe??—
And sometimes, sometimes, he’ll glance up at Cass, a question in his eyes that Cass doesn’t know how to answer.
Not then, and not half an hour later when Desi finally drifts off to sleep, curled up in the arms of two mortal enemies who’d go to the ends of the earth just for her.
It feels like hours before JJ and Cass are tiptoeing out of Desi’s room and quietly closing the door behind them, even though JJ’s watch says it’s not even noon yet. Less than an hour since he was sparring with Chester, less than an hour since he was back at the Sanctum??—
Less than an hour since he felt the solid ground beneath him shift ever so slightly, leaving him unsteady in its wake.
When Cass finally speaks, his voice is low. “Well, that was harrowing.”
JJ almost laughs. “You can say that again.”
Cass watches Desi’s door for a few seconds?—probably listening to make sure she’s asleep, JJ thinks?—before snapping his fingers. JJ feels a faint tingle of magic settle over the hallway. “Soundproofing spell,” Cass says, his voice back to its normal volume. “I want to stay close for a while, but I don’t want to wake her up.”
JJ casts an anxious glance at the door. “Is it safe to let her sleep again? She could have another nightmare, and?—and demons don’t even need to sleep, right?”
Cass shakes his head. “No, but it can be helpful after we undergo extreme physical or mental stress. And that was a lot of stress for a little girl like Desi. She may be a demon, but since she was summoned in the human fa?ade of a four-year-old, she’s at the rough developmental stage of a human toddler.” Briefly, his eyes meet JJ’s. “And I don’t think she’ll have another nightmare. Not when she knows we’re nearby.”
The easy way Cass refers to them as a unit, as a team, almost makes JJ’s breath catch. He swallows hard past the strange warmth in his chest. “How’d she even have one at all? I didn’t think demons could dream, much less have nightmares.”
For a long moment, Cass considers him.
And then he says, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s mostly your fault.”
The words feel like a knife in JJ’s chest. He jerks away on instinct, eyes widening. “My fault? How is it my fault?”
His fault? His fault? Did he do something wrong? Did he say something he shouldn’t have?
Did Desi realize that JJ’s day job usually involves hurting demons like her and Cass, not protecting them?
Cass, though, just looks exasperated. “I said not to take it the wrong way, lackey,” he says, and his shoulders hunch. “Usually, when a demon is dragged to Earth from Tamaros, it’s traumatic. It’s?—it’s painful. And that’s just the summoning itself?—being bound and forced to obey a summoner’s orders can leave even deeper scars. By the time we’re finally free, we usually hate everything about this dimension, and?—and that usually includes ourselves. Our true form, because it’s the part of us that humans despise, and our human fa?ade, because despite all that, we still have to look like them to survive.
“But with Desi…” His jaw works. “She had you. You introduced her to Wyvern Academy. You read her picture books about friendly dragons and bought her wyvern plushies that look like her. Not only did you free her from her summoner, but you accepted her true form right from the start. She never learned to hate herself because she knew that you loved her, and she never learned to hate Earth because she loved you. You let her feel safe enough to start processing her trauma. That’s the main reason why demons have nightmares?—because they finally feel ready to face what was done to them.”
Because you have, in the most literal sense, fought away her nightmares in the past. She feels safest with you.
JJ’s throat feels tight. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” Cass says, and he looks away. “It’s rare for demons to start having nightmares so soon after being summoned. It took me decades, and I think Ez and Obie were the same. It’s not easy to feel safe again after all that. Especially once you realize you can never go home.”
JJ’s heart hurts. “Well, it makes sense with Desi,” he says softly. “Because it’s not just me, right? It’s both of us. You give her that structure, that stability, that children need. You gave her a home, and I…” He hesitates. “I have, um, a history of saving her from her nightmares. Like you said. So I guess it works best when we work together.”
“Hm.” Cass’s lips twitch. “A hunter working together with a demon. Never thought I’d live to see the day.”
“Yeah. Me, neither.”
For a few minutes, they lapse into silence. That’s not unusual for them, but normally, their silences are tense. Prickly. Just barely resisting the urge to snap at each other for Desi’s sake.
Now, though, even with Desi asleep behind a soundproofing spell, the silence is relaxed. Comfortable.
Almost companionable. For a fleeting second, JJ thinks he could get used to silences like this with Cass.
“So.” Cass clears his throat, arching an eyebrow at JJ. “You and Locke?”
Your boyfriend is cute.
Of course Cass has to ruin the vibe. Heat flames into JJ’s face. “No. Absolutely not. He’s practically my brother.”
Cass looks skeptical. “Are you sure?”
Why does everyone seem to think that JJ doesn’t know his own relationship status? “Am I sure that Chester Locke isn’t my boyfriend? Yes. Yes, I’m quite sure about that, thanks.”
“But I saw you two sparring together,” Cass says, still examining JJ like he’s a puzzle to be solved. “He kept flirting with you and making comments about your boyfriend, and?—?” Something indecipherable flickers across Cass’s face. “Oh. He was talking about someone else?”
JJ drops his head into his hands, mortified. “Yes and no. Yes, he was talking about someone else, but?—but no, I don’t actually have a boyfriend.” Reluctantly, he glances up, meeting Cass’s eyes. “I needed an excuse to keep ghosting my friends and escaping into town every time I have a day off, so I told them I have a civilian boyfriend.” He winces. “A civilian boyfriend who, uh, has a four-year-old daughter.”
Cass’s eyebrows shoot up. “So I’m your boyfriend?”
“You are very much not my boyfriend,” JJ says emphatically. He desperately hopes he isn’t blushing. “But having, um, a partner on the outside is an acceptable reason for me to be sneaking out of the Sanctum so much. And spending all my money. And acting generally secretive.” And walking funny, he adds sourly.
Cass squints at him. “That’s an ‘acceptable’ reason? I thought the Sanctum arranged marriages for its hunters. Bloodlines and all that.”
“Well…” JJ wavers, eyeing him carefully.
This is heading into dangerous territory. Discussing the intricacies of the Sanctum with any demon, much less Cassius Chin, is grounds for punishment at best and execution at worst. Even though the question itself is fairly benign, JJ doesn’t want to risk the Council’s wrath if they ever found out that he dared to answer it.
But, at the same time, Cass does look more honestly curious than anything else. Like he’s genuinely trying to understand JJ’s situation, understand his life . It’s a good feeling.
Eventually, JJ decides on the truth. “Yes and no. Yes, the Sanctum arranges marriages for us, but we’re also allowed to, um. To have partners on the side. As long as no one compromises the bloodlines, the Council will usually turn a blind eye.”
Cass nods slowly. “So that’s why you allegedly have a boyfriend and not a girlfriend?”
JJ hesitates. “I generally prefer men. And my friends know that, so, uh. Having a boyfriend makes more sense.”
“But the Council is eventually going to arrange a wife for you.”
It’s not a question, but JJ answers it anyway. “Probably. Neophyte hunters like me and Chester are so unprecedented that no one really knows the plan yet. They’ll probably pair us with mixed-breed hunters to keep the purebred lineages clean, but…” He shrugs uncomfortably. “The Council might also match us with purebreds, just to give us more legitimacy. That?—that would be ideal, honestly. We finally wouldn’t be at the bottom of hunting society anymore.”
For a long moment, Cass is quiet.
And then he asks the last question JJ was expecting. “Does it ever bother you that they refer to you like you’re dogs? Purebreds. Mixed breeds. I’m surprised they don’t just go all the way and start calling you ‘mutts.’”
And, for a split second??—
For a split second, JJ thinks about how easily Councilwoman Nasir talked down to him today. Thinks about Bryant calling him and Chester outsiders without a second thought, thinks about Roma instinctively blaming him when he “lost the demon” at the beginning of the month.
Most of the Sanctum doesn’t even consider you two real hunters, so? ? —
“Yeah,” JJ admits quietly. “Yeah, it does bother me.”
Cass’s expression shifts. “JJ??—?”
Instantly, JJ realizes he’s said too much?— way too much. Too much about the Sanctum, too much about the bloodlines hierarchy??—
Too much about himself. “I should probably get back,” he blurts out, taking a hasty step down the hall. “I usually eat lunch with Roma and Bryant, so?—so they might be looking for me. I’ll just??—?”
“Wait,” Cass says, and unexpectedly, he waves a hand. A purple-gold rift shimmers to life between them. “Less suspicious, right? No one will realize you ever left your room. And?—and this is a different part of Redwater. You might not know the way back to the Sanctum.”
Right. This is Cass’s actual house, not the safe house where JJ usually meets him and Desi. Cass might’ve made JJ leave his phone behind, but if JJ really wanted to, it wouldn’t be hard for him to figure out this address?—and to map out an exact floor plan, complete with weak spots.
And Cass knows it, too. He’s just trusting JJ not to take advantage. Strange how a centuries-old demon has more faith in JJ than his fellow hunters do. “Yeah. Thanks, Cass,” he says haltingly, and he tries his hardest not to look back as he steps through the rift.