Chapter 30
30
O kay, so I’m just finishing Season Five,” Roma says, “and I’m genuinely appalled at Amethyst’s behavior? Like, I know that the injustice of the discrimination against ice wyverns is half the point of the show, but Snowstorm has always had Amethyst’s back. How could Amethyst forget that so easily? It’s infuriating!”
JJ laughs, kicking off his sneakers and sitting cross-legged on the couch across from Roma’s armchair. This is his first time seeing her in person since before he defected, and finally getting to hug her tightly and thank her for helping Cass with the jailbreak made a weight lift off his shoulders that he didn’t even realize was still there.
No matter how much has changed?—and how much he’s lost?—he still has one of his best friends here with him. Roma’s studio apartment is a bit minimalist, just like her old room back in the Sanctum, but her proud smile when she gave JJ the grand tour made his chest feel warm.
And he got her to watch Wyvern Academy. Wonders never cease. “Yeah, Amethyst definitely makes some questionable decisions,” he agrees. “Especially in the finale. But she gets better in the next season?—like, she has a whole redemption arc and everything. You’ll like her again soon.”
Roma doesn’t look convinced. “If you say so. It’s still giving me anxiety, though.”
JJ grins. “Looks like defecting is more entertaining than either of us ever thought.”
Roma casts an indecipherable glance around her apartment. “Yeah, I guess,” she says, throwing one leg over the side of her armchair and fidgeting like she just can’t get comfortable. “I mean, don’t get me wrong?—I’m eternally grateful to Obie for setting up such a solid safe house for me. I wasn’t aware before now that he apparently owns, like, half of Redwater, but??—?”
“He doesn’t own half of Redwater,” JJ argues. “Maybe, like, a third of it.” And learning that Obie actually does own a sizable amount of property in town?—apparently bought for mere pennies back when Redwater was first founded?—is one of the more bizarre pieces of trivia that JJ has learned about Cass’s friend group over the past few weeks.
JJ’s friend group now, too. Or so Cass insists, at least.
Roma’s lips twitch. “Regardless,” she says, “the apartment is nice. But I feel like I’m going out of my mind here, man. I’ve watched five seasons of cartoon dragons in less than two weeks. That’s not normal behavior. I’ve just felt so?—so confined to this one room.”
JJ frowns. “You hacked out the Sanctum’s soul-tracking enchantment, right? So can’t you just… put on a cloaking spell and walk around town? Just like normal?”
“The soul tracking isn’t an issue,” Roma says, “but you have to admit that it’s difficult to, say, order food at Tacos Near Me when Esteban keeps forgetting you exist.”
JJ winces. Roma’s cloaking spells are especially potent, making attention slide off her like she really is invisible. Even basic conversations would be virtually impossible. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s definitely not ideal.”
“And I am jury-rigging a human-magic glamour spell,” she adds, slouching back in her armchair, “but I’m still working out the kinks. So far??—?”
“Hold up.” JJ raises a hand to stop her, eyes wide. “Did you just say you’re working on a human-magic glamour spell? But glamours have always been exclusive to demon magic!”
Roma smirks. “Can’t let Laguerre have all the fun. I’ve been tinkering with a handful of demon-magic spells, actually?—glamours, rifts, pocket dimensions. Rifts are the most fascinating, since we already have the interdimensional variant that summoners use, but glamours will definitely be more practical.” She scowls. “Once I figure them out, at least.”
“Roma, that’s amazing,” JJ says emphatically. His heart feels full. “I always knew you were the best spellcaster in the Sanctum, bloodlines be damned. And look at you now, doing the impossible and translating demon-magic spells to human magic.” He smiles. “Life on the outside has been pretty good to both of us, huh?”
For a long moment, Roma considers him.
And then, quietly, she asks, “JJ, don’t you think about them at all?”
A sharp pang twists through him. “Bryant and Chester, you mean?”
“Yeah.” Roma’s jaw is set in a grim line. “They’re still stuck there. They’re still stuck there, and the only thing any of us knew after that disaster at Lakeside was that you’d shacked up with a demon. And?—?” She gestures vaguely around her apartment. “And they probably think I’ve shacked up with a demon by now, too.”
“I doubt they believe you have enough game for that,” JJ says diplomatically.
Roma hurls a throw pillow at him. “Shut up.”
JJ catches it with a grin, hugging it to his chest. “Honestly, I’m flattered that they think I pulled a demon. When did I ever give them the impression that I was capable of that?”
“Says the guy who based his fake boyfriend on Cassius Chin.”
Heat flares into JJ’s face. “He wasn’t based on Cass. I just used certain aspects of Cass to make the con more convincing.”
Roma looks unimpressed. “Uh-huh,” she says, and she leans forward. “But seriously. Do you think about them? Do you?—do you miss them?”
JJ’s heart hurts. “Of course I think about them,” he says softly. “I miss them every day. And I miss…”
What else does JJ miss? A fresh wave of guilt roils through him, and he swallows it down hard. Even though he makes it a point to stay in touch with Roma, and even though he thinks about Bryant and Chester often??—
Even with all that, JJ isn’t sure how much he misses the Sanctum itself. He doesn’t miss the constant unknown of waiting for the next mission, the constant obsession with pure bloodlines and perfect performance, the constant anxiety looming over his head. Doesn’t miss his spartan bedroom, doesn’t miss the sterile hallways, doesn’t miss the Council members’ foreboding offices.
He definitely doesn’t miss being treated like a third-class citizen. After twelve years, some of the other hunters’ digs became so normal that he subconsciously internalized them?—which he usually realizes nowadays when he makes a particularly self-deprecating comment and Cass gives him a horrified look in response.
And, above all, it’s hard to miss any of that with Cass and Desi nearby. “I miss our people,” he says at last. “Bryant and Chester. I miss?—I miss having lunch together and training together and walking around Redwater together. And that’s…” He looks away. “That’s all, really. If they were here with us, I think it’d be perfect.”
Roma’s lips twitch downward. “No love lost for the Sanctum, huh?”
“Not… really,” JJ admits. “I know they took me in when they didn’t have to, and I know they raised me and trained me and gave me a purpose, but I?—I don’t really miss the Sanctum as an institution, no. Honestly, I’m relieved to be out.”
Roma’s eyebrows shoot up. “Relieved? Seriously? I feel like I’m ready to claw my own skin off.”
“You were born there, remember?” JJ says quietly. “You were raised there. It was all you knew. For me, it?—it wasn’t. I remembered life on the outside, remembered how free it was. And I don’t…” His throat feels tight. Swallowing hard, he tries again. “I don’t think I realized how trapped I felt in the Sanctum until I was on the outside again. Until I got a taste of that freedom with Cass and Desi.”
That’s been one of the hardest parts, JJ thinks. Admitting to himself just how toxic the Sanctum really was. All these years, he was proud to be a hunter, found his very identity in it, but now??—
Now, he’s slowly starting to realize that the Sanctum was going to kill him long before the “evil demons” ever did. Kill the parts of him that mattered, at least. Like the part of him that can look at a demon like Desi and know that she’s just a little girl who deserves to be loved, and??—
And the part of him that can look at a demon like Cass and want him in ways that are terrifying and thrilling in equal measures.
Eventually, Roma looks away. “Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.”
JJ’s chest hurts. “I think Chester would feel the same way,” he says carefully, gauging Roma’s reaction. “But Bryant?”
Roma shakes her head. “Bryant’s a purebred. She has status and power that make my head spin just by virtue of her bloodline. I don’t think she’d handle outside life well.”
“Yeah.” JJ hesitates. “But what if we were all here with her?”
Roma’s voice sharpens. “What are you getting at?”
“Listen?—?” JJ holds up his hands in surrender. “I’m not saying we should bust in there and kidnap them, okay? But sometimes, I just?—I just imagine what it would be like if they were here with us. If we could all walk around Redwater and get tacos in the Courtyard again. If we could just… be together. You know?”
Roma’s jaw works. “I mean, I see what you’re saying,” she says. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea. Even for Chester. Because if you’re wrong about him, if we made contact and he wanted to stay…” She trails off. “He’d either have to hand us over to the Council or risk everything by keeping us a secret. We couldn’t put him in that position.”
JJ’s heart twists. He knows that Chester’s fierce loyalty to the Sanctum has always been tinged by nostalgia for his old life, and he thinks Chester would be more than willing to walk away if his friends were waiting for him on the other side, but??—
But he can also imagine that a lot has changed since JJ and Roma defected. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right.”
Roma clears her throat. “Anyway, are you ever going to invite me to your place to officially meet your kid? And maybe chat with Cass under less harrowing circumstances than orchestrating your jailbreak?”
JJ snorts with surprise, relaxing back against the couch. “Definitely. Cass is a little gun-shy about letting another hunter into his house?—it took him ages to even let me in there?—but he knows that I trust you. Just give him some time.”
Roma sighs, throwing both legs over the side of her armchair this time. “Feels like I have nothing but time nowadays.”
“But it’s kind of nice, right?” JJ asks, grinning. “Having the whole world stretch out ahead of you?”
After a moment, Roma gives him a small smile. “Just another thing for me to get used to, I guess,” she agrees, and they move back to safer topics after that.
Obie blinks slowly across the kitchen table. “Ice-skating lessons?”
“Yeah!” Desi says cheerfully, jabbing another forkful of her macaroni and cheese?—JJ’s inaugural effort with the dish, in fact. Cass is disproportionately proud of how far his hunter’s cooking skills have come. “It’s going to be really fun! I’m gonna make tons of new friends and learn lots of neat tricks! Right, JJ?”
“Right,” JJ confirms, spooning a heaping serving of salad onto his plate and a smaller portion onto Desi’s. Even though demons don’t need a balanced diet?—or any diet at all?—JJ insists on making sure she eats healthy, which Cass finds hilarious and endearing in equal measures. “My little sister and I both learned to ice skate when we were kids, and we really enjoyed it. I even had my eighth birthday party at the rink.”
Ez nods consideringly. “And this is a… normal human pastime? For children?”
She sounds unsure about it. Cass feels a pang of regret?—not just for her, but for himself and Obie, too. Obie doesn’t talk about when he was summoned, but Ez was initially dragged to this dimension as a little girl, just like Desi?—and her summoner forced her to grow into an adult once that became inconvenient for him. None of them had much in the way of childhoods.
And JJ clearly remembers that, too. His eyes soften. “Definitely. Sports have a lot of benefits for human children?—teaching them teamwork, keeping them healthy, letting them make friends. Plus, ice skating is low contact, so there won’t be as much risk to Desi or the other kids.”
“We’re planning to homeschool her, too,” Cass jumps in. “For the first few years, at least. Trying to avoid any mishaps in a classroom full of fragile humans.”
Unexpectedly, Obie’s eyes light up. “That sounds really cool, actually. Can I help?”
Desi gasps, clapping her hands. “Yes! Uncle Obie, can you be one of my teachers?”
JJ looks intrigued. “That would be amazing,” he says, looking at Cass for confirmation. Heart swelling, Cass nods. “Especially since you’ve been around for most of history, right? A lot of concepts get taught incorrectly in elementary schools?—like, I still learned that Columbus discovered the Americas when I was a kid.”
Obie looks affronted. “The genocidal maniac?”
“Yep.”
“That’s appalling,” Obie says. “But I’ve spent a fair few millennia in the Americas, so I can share plenty of firsthand experiences. My world history is a bit shakier?—I was always on the wrong continent for most of the biggest events?—but I’m sure I could correct any misconceptions. Do you have a curriculum yet?”
“We’re still researching our options,” JJ says, “but…”
He and Obie quickly fall into an animated discussion across the table, chatting about Obie’s past adventures and how they could incorporate them into a classroom setting, and Cass’s chest feels warm. He can tell that they’re not completely comfortable with each other yet?—there’s a hint of reserved caution to Obie’s voice, and JJ’s shoulders are a little tense?—but they’re clearly doing their best to get along.
And Cass is under no illusions. They’re probably playing nice partly for Desi’s benefit, but mostly for Cass’s. Obie, because he’s Cass’s best friend and he loves him, and JJ??—
Well. Cass is trying not to think too hard about how JJ might feel about Cass at this juncture. Not while JJ is still entirely reliant, entirely dependent, on Cass for food and shelter.
Not until JJ has other options. Options that Cass will hopefully be providing tomorrow, as long as the wire transfer to JJ’s new bank account clears.
While JJ and Obie continue to talk about lesson plans and Desi enthusiastically interjects at periodic intervals, Ez raises her eyebrows at Cass. “So everything is going well?”
“For now, yeah,” Cass says, and he lowers his voice. There might not be much space between him and the rest of the table, but the less JJ and Desi hear about Cass’s constant worrying, the better. “Any news?”
Ez grimaces. “Not much. Gutierrez told Obie that she doesn’t have any contacts left in the Sanctum, but we can assume that they’re after both her and JJ.” She hesitates. “Probably more Gutierrez, though. She’s a mixed breed, and we know how much the Sanctum loves their bloodlines.”
Guilt gnaws at Cass’s belly. Much as he doesn’t want Roma to be in danger, part of him is admittedly relieved that the Sanctum has a more immediate concern than JJ. “And the Chain? Have they questioned you and Obie again?”
“Only in passing,” she says. “We’ve been claiming you went deep underground and mostly cut off contact with us. They don’t believe a word of it, of course, but unless they catch us talking to you, they can’t do much about it.” She lets out a slow breath. “And I think Gregorio and Micah are trying to cover your tracks. If nothing else, they haven’t mentioned those new identity packages they helped you with.”
Vividly, Cass remembers his promise to “trust” Micah when the time comes. He fights back a wince. “They know that I owe them. They might just be trying to dig me in deeper.”
Ez shrugs one shoulder. “Or maybe they are on our side. I feel like they’ve been disillusioned with the Chain for a while now. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they quit their jobs entirely in the next few years.”
“That makes sense,” Cass says without thinking. “After all, they’re married now. Their priorities are different.”
Ez’s eyebrows shoot up. “You think?”
Cass’s heart stutters. Hastily, he backpedals. “I mean, maybe. They wouldn’t have tied the knot if they didn’t like spending time together, right? So being apart on workdays might not be satisfying anymore. They might just want to focus more on, um. Themselves. You know. Their relationship.”
Ez squints at him suspiciously. Cass tries not to squirm in his seat. He does think that he’s right, that having a partner makes people reevaluate what’s important, but it wasn’t Gregorio and Micah who convinced him of that.
Honestly, it was JJ and Desi. Cass has spent his entire existence at war, jumping from one battle to another, toppling dictatorships and supporting revolutions??—
Trying to find something to make his life feel worthwhile.
But he’s starting to realize that “worthwhile” might be more small-scale than he thought. That maybe he doesn’t need to constantly save humans from oppression to feel like he has a purpose on Earth.
Maybe he can feel fulfilled just by homeschooling his daughter and cooking pancakes for his co-parent. Honestly, the past few weeks might just be the most fulfilled Cass has ever been.
“Maybe,” Ez says eventually, nodding. “In any case, the outside world is quiet for now. Let’s just hope it stays that way.” She turns back to JJ and Obie. “Yeah, yeah, human subjects are great and all, but we’re going to teach Desi demon skills, too, right? Like spellcasting?”
“Spellcasting!” Desi cheers, throwing her arms in the air.
“Absolutely,” JJ says, giving Ez a tentative smile. “We’d love it if you could teach Desi. You’re the best spellcaster on the East Coast, right?”
After a moment, Ez smirks back. “Hell yeah, I am.”
And as the conversation shifts from magic to history and back again, Cass smiles to himself and relaxes into the rhythm of his family?—old and new?—gathered around a table together.