Chapter 33
33
J J anxiously twists from side to side in front of the foyer mirror, checking his new glamour from every angle. “Are we sure this is a good idea?”
“Nope,” Cass says, grabbing his wallet off the table and stuffing it into his pocket. His tone is breezy and relaxed, but JJ can see the faint line of tension in his shoulders. “But we have to brave the outside world again at some point. It’s been almost a full month since the Sanctum targeted us at Lakeside, so the hunters won’t be watching as closely, and Ez and Obie say that we’re not as high on the Chain’s priority list, either. This is a low-risk opportunity to get the lay of the land.” His lips twitch. “Plus, I’ve missed Tacos Near Me. I’m sure you have, too.”
JJ forces a smile. “Definitely,” he says, and he turns back to the mirror. While Cass kept JJ’s original glamour close to his real appearance, this new one couldn’t be more different: pale skin, light brown hair, hazel eyes. Cass adopted light brown skin and bleached-blond hair for himself, a far cry from his usual bronze-gold skin and silky black hair. There’s no way anyone could recognize them?—not the Sanctum, not the Chain, not even the food truck crowd.
That doesn’t stop JJ from worrying, though. He rakes his hair back from his forehead, grimacing. He’s barely left the safety of this house for the past month, and even during his handful of visits to Roma, Cass rifted him directly to her apartment complex. The thought of casually walking to the Courtyard and ordering tacos within a stone’s throw of where the Sanctum captured JJ makes him feel queasy, but??—
“Hey.” Cass’s voice is soft. “Don’t worry, JJ. I’ve got your back, okay?”
JJ’s heart flutters. “Okay,” he says haltingly. “And I?—I’ve got yours, too.”
Cass’s eyes crinkle in the corners when he smiles. “I know,” he says, and abruptly, he turns away. “I’ll get Desi. I’m sure she’ll have some opinions about her new glamour.”
JJ tears his eyes away as Cass jogs down the hall, swallowing hard. He’s still nervous about going out in public like this, obviously?—even with glamours and anti-tracking spells, there’s no guarantee that a particularly skilled spellcaster couldn’t find them?—but ever since two nights ago, he’s been getting butterflies around Cass for an entirely different reason.
Please talk to me.
In hindsight, JJ doesn’t know why he waited so long to tell Cass about his time in the prison. Part of it was because Cass never asked so directly?—he’s always been careful not to pressure JJ into talking about anything he wasn’t ready for?—but??—
But part of it was also because JJ didn’t want Cass to know those details. He didn’t want Cass to see that rougher side of him, that harder side of him.
The side of him that looked at Cass three months ago at DJ Ice Cream and only saw a demon to be dealt with, not a person capable of loyalty and compassion.
But Cass accepted JJ’s darkness without blinking. In fact, JJ thinks that Cass might like seeing those flawed pieces of JJ, like they help him understand JJ better.
And the fact that Cass apparently wants to know every part of JJ is something that’s been keeping him up at night lately.
But that’s a preoccupation for another time. Right now, Desi is skipping down the hallway hand in hand with Cass, her glamour’s pale skin and brown ponytail a startling contrast to her usual appearance. “JJ, JJ! How do I look?”
“You look great,” JJ assures her, and he meets Cass’s eyes. “Ready for action?”
“Ready,” Cass confirms, and he waits for Desi to claim her rightful place on JJ’s shoulders before pulling open the door. “Let’s head out.”
The ten-minute walk to the Courtyard is as familiar as ever, but JJ just can’t convince his body to relax. All of his long-honed hunting instincts are waking up at the same time, keeping his eyes darting around and his ears straining for any unusual sounds and his fingers ready to grab a weapon at the slightest provocation??—
After nearly a month without that constant vigilance, he almost forgot how exhausting it is. He’d be more self-conscious about it if Cass weren’t doing the exact same thing next to him, staying unusually close to JJ and checking behind them every few minutes.
Eventually, Cass’s eyes catch on JJ’s. A small smile tugs on his lips. “We’re a mess, huh?”
JJ almost laughs as the Courtyard rises into view ahead of them. “I’d say we’re justifiably paranoid, thanks.”
“Hopefully, we’ll feel better once we can disappear into the crowd. And?—?” Without warning, Cass slips his hand into JJ’s, squeezing lightly. “And we’re still fake-dating and have an adopted daughter, right?”
JJ’s brain short-circuits. It’s not that they’ve never held hands in the course of their fake-dating exploits, of course. In fact, Cass has invaded JJ’s personal space more times than he can count, hugging his arm or resting a hand on his lower back or wrapping an arm around his shoulders with reckless abandon. Holding hands in public isn’t necessarily new for them.
But this is the first time they’ve done it since the Sanctum captured JJ. The first time since JJ’s enchantments were stripped away from him.
The first time JJ has been able to touch Cass’s warm, smooth skin instead of a thick glove. When Cass rescued JJ from the Sanctum, JJ didn’t have the presence of mind to enjoy the sensation, but now, he can already tell that it’s going to be living rent-free in his head for days to come. “Right,” he says faintly, his pulse jumping in his throat. “I work from home and you come from money.”
Cass grins. “Excellent,” he says, and he purposefully leads JJ and Desi across the Courtyard to Tacos Near Me, waving over the counter at Esteban. “Hi, there. We heard you have the best tacos in Redwater?”
“Indeed we do, my new friends!” Esteban booms, as jovial as ever. “What can I get for you today?”
Cass smiles back. “We’ll take three taco meals to go, please?—one with black beans, one with beef, and…” He looks up at Desi. “And what would you like, sweetie?”
“Steak tacos!” Desi cheers, throwing up her arms. “I love steak tacos!”
Esteban stops dead. For a few seconds, he squints at Desi like he’s trying to remember something important.
And then he gasps, jabbing a finger at her. “You! You are little Desi!”
All the blood rushes from JJ’s head at once. Cass goes rigid next to him, teeth bared and eyes flashing like he’s braced for a fight, and Desi??—
Desi, bless her heart, just waves happily back. “Hi! Yes, I’m Desi!”
“Hello!” Esteban says, looking just as excited to see her as she is to see him. “We have been very worried about you! And about?—?” He beams at JJ and Cass. “And about your fathers, too! Julian and Cassius! How are you, caballeros?”
“Worse than ever,” Cass complains, crossing his arms over his chest. “How did you recognize us?”
“There are very few small children who like steak tacos,” Esteban says seriously. “Little Desi is a notable exception. Also, her enthusiasm is iconic.”
Cass’s shoulders are still stiff. JJ resists the urge to reach out and grab his hand again. “She is iconic,” he agrees reluctantly. “But you can’t let anyone else know we’re here, okay, Esteban? We need to keep this just between us.”
Esteban nods solemnly. “Between us and Lucia.”
“No,” Cass insists. “Just between us, Esteban.”
To JJ’s despair, Lucia’s voice floats out from the depths of the truck. “I have ears, you know.”
Cass winces. “Fine. Between us and Lucia.”
Lucia pokes Esteban aside to peer across the counter, waggling her cell phone. “And I already texted Mina from Bibimbap House.”
Cass looks appalled. “Seriously?”
“Can you ask her not to tell anyone?” JJ asks hopefully.
Esteban’s own phone buzzes in his hand. He blinks down at it. “Ah,” he says. “Mina posted it in the food truck group chat. On the bright side, you have fourteen likes already!”
Cass buries his face in his hands. “Nostringvadha have mercy.”
Gingerly, JJ puts a hand on Cass’s shoulder. “Listen,” he says quietly, meeting Esteban’s and Lucia’s eyes, “it’s really important that the Sanctum and the Chain don’t find out about us. Can you please make sure this doesn’t get back to them?”
Esteban looks aghast. “But of course! We would not want any harm to come to you or your family!”
“And none of us are terribly fond of the cult on the hill or the bureaucrats on the highway,” Lucia adds, pursing her lips. “Don’t worry. The Redwater Food Truck Association will keep you safe.”
She says it with the conviction of a crime boss declaring that they’re now under the mob’s protection. Weakly, JJ nods. “Thank you. And, um, could we also get three churros with that order?”
Two minutes later, Cass is hustling JJ and Desi away with their bag of food, throwing a halfhearted wave over his shoulder at Esteban and Lucia. “Well, that was appallingly short-lived.”
He looks annoyed with himself. JJ’s chest twinges. “There isn’t anything wrong with your glamours,” he says softly. “But we always went to Tacos Near Me, and like Esteban said, Desi is very recognizable. It makes sense.”
“Still,” Cass says, and he squares his shoulders. “All right. Do we want to eat our food here? Or have we had enough excitement for one day? I don’t think there’s too much risk of word getting back to the Sanctum or the Chain, but??—?”
Desi tugs on Cass’s hand. “Cass?”
Cass immediately cuts himself off, crouching down to put himself at her level. JJ’s heart melts a little bit. “Desi.”
“Cass, can we get ice cream, too?”
Cass’s eyebrows furrow. “Sweetie, DJ Ice Cream Truck is at Lakeside, not in the Courtyard. And we said we were only coming to the Courtyard today, remember?”
Desi’s eyes widen. “Pleeeeease?” she begs.
Cass opens his mouth, closes it, and glances up at JJ. “How does ice cream sound?”
JJ snorts. “And you think I’m bad at saying no to her.”
“Shut up, Jackson,” Cass says, and he pushes himself to his feet, grabbing JJ’s hand again. “If we’re going to Lakeside, then I’m getting a side of currywurst. Do you want samosas?”
“I always want samosas.”
“Then let’s go.”
JJ expects the twenty-minute walk to Lakeside?—along the exact street they took while escaping last month, no less?—to be stressful, but it’s surprisingly sedate. Desi keeps her hand tucked into JJ’s, trotting along next to him and chatting about what kind of ice cream she wants; Cass carries their bag of tacos and churros over one arm, futilely trying to get Desi to choose one flavor instead of three??—
He keeps his fingers threaded through JJ’s, even though there are very few witnesses around to see them.
By the time they get to DJ Ice Cream Truck, Cass has talked Desi down to two flavors, but only if she can get extra sprinkles. JJ solemnly agrees to their terms, and they pick up Desi’s ice cream, Cass’s currywurst, and JJ’s samosas in a leisurely stroll across the shore, the sunlight glinting off the lake next to them.
“Do you think they recognized us?” JJ asks, balancing their tray on one arm while he helps Desi onto their table’s bench seat. “Anju seemed particularly smiley today.”
“Anju is always smiley,” Cass says, arranging their tacos and churros between them. “But yes. I don’t think they would’ve known without Mina’s influence, but they’re probably going to be watching for us from now on. We’ll be like Redwater’s newest cryptids.”
JJ fights back a laugh. “So we’re going to wear new glamours every time we visit, right? Just to confuse them?”
“Obviously,” Cass says, and they smile at each other before unwrapping their food.
Desi tears through her tacos and ice cream in record time, as is her custom, and beams up at JJ. “All done! Can I go fly my kite, JJ? Please?”
Out of the corner of JJ’s eye, he sees Cass’s smile waver. Taking a deep breath, JJ turns to face Desi directly. “Not today, honey,” he says quietly. “Since this is our first time outside in a while, we want to stay close to each other, okay? We can fly kites together next time.”
“Oh.” Desi looks briefly disappointed before perking up. “Can I watch an episode of Wyvern Academy, then?”
JJ grins, pulling out his cell phone and tapping into his streaming app. “Sure. Snowstorm gets in big trouble in this episode?—I can’t wait to hear what you think!”
Cass obligingly produces a pair of headphones from an invisible pocket dimension, and within minutes, Desi is absorbed in the depths of Season Eight, swinging her legs happily under the table while she watches.
JJ eats his food more slowly after that, enjoying the fresh air and warm sunlight. Lakeside sometimes feels like it exists entirely outside of time, the sparkling lake and sandy shoreline a constant since his own childhood.
Only the food trucks occasionally change. JJ’s eyes linger on Samosa Spot. “You know,” he says thoughtfully, “I’ve always wondered why Samosa Spot here and Sambusa Stop in the Courtyard have such similar names. I know that samosas and sambusas are regional variations on a similar concept, but I feel like making the names so similar is just begging for a lawsuit.”
Cass squints at him. “Well, I should hope not. Especially since Anju and Tariqua are married.”
JJ’s eyes widen. “They’re what?”
“You didn’t know that?” Cass looks surprised. “Yeah. They originally wanted to go into business together, but then Anju said it would be funny if they had rival trucks, Tariqua joked that she should make sambusas to compete with Anju’s samosas, and the rest is history.”
“So what you’re saying,” JJ says, “is that we have a bona fide monopoly alive and thriving in Redwater?”
Cass’s lips twitch. “Oh, that’s not even the funniest thing to happen in our food truck crowd,” he says, and he slips over to JJ’s side of the table, settling in next to him to point at the poutine truck. “Did you ever wonder why it’s called Poutine Queens, even though a brother and sister run it?”
JJ didn’t even know the owners were siblings. He gives Cass an embarrassed smile. “I always just thought they chose the name because it rhymes.”
“Not quite,” Cass says. “They named it that because Chelsea is one queen and Keith is the other?—he does drag shows twice a month at that bar off Mayfair. He absolutely kills it in eight-inch platform heels.”
JJ grins. “Well, I think we have a plan for our next field trip.”
“Oh, Desi would love that. The amount of glitter and sequins is frankly astounding.” There’s a relaxed smile on Cass’s face, an easy smile. The type of smile he usually only gets after Desi has already gone to bed, when he and JJ are curled up on the couch with matching mugs of chamomile tea and a light conversation to make the hours pass like minutes.
JJ wants to savor that smile for as long as possible. “Tell me more?” he blurts out.
Cass’s eyes dance. Decisively, he points towards the three trucks at the far end of Lakeside. “Well, Javier from Gimme Tortilla and Viktor from Currywurst To Go are both flirting with Mina from Bibimbap House. It’s like a whole love triangle, except Mina is utterly oblivious to the entire thing. She really just thinks they’re being friendly.
“If she ever figures it out, though, their solution may be…” Cass directs JJ’s attention to Gulab Jamun Forever. “Polyamory. Aditi, Malia, and Joshua are in a triad, and they opened Sweets Forever together. Nowadays, Joshua handles the brick-and-mortar bakery, Aditi runs Gulab Jamun Forever, and Malia runs Pavlova Forever in the Courtyard.”
JJ can’t resist a smile. “I always wondered why those names were so similar, too.”
“Yeah, we have a lot of crossover episodes between here and the Courtyard,” Cass agrees, and he casts his eyes towards the cloudless blue sky, thinking. “What else? Crêperie is run by a grandfather and grandson, Falafel Express was started by three college roommates, Yamamoto Sushi Truck is operated by the Yamamotos’ triplet daughters…” He arches an eyebrow. “And I’m sure you’ve noticed Nick from Falafel Express flirting with Esteban from Tacos Near Me?”
JJ’s jaw threatens to hit the table. “What?”
“Yep,” Cass confirms, grinning. “Lucia and Andrew are both about ready to strangle them. It’s hilarious.”
JJ shakes his head, amused. “You really do know everything, don’t you?”
Cass’s expression shifts. “Well,” he says, his gaze not leaving JJ’s, “maybe I’m trying to impress you with my esoteric knowledge of Redwater’s food truck culture.”
JJ’s breath catches. Cass is sitting close next to JJ, close enough to touch, close enough that the hair’s breadth of space between them feels like a live wire. Even with the glamour, Cass’s smirk is playful and his eyes are bright, and JJ??—
JJ wants to kiss him.
The thought doesn’t necessarily surprise him. At this point, he’s probably thought about kissing Cass dozens of times, along with a few other fantasies he only lets himself imagine in the privacy of his bedroom at night.
The thought itself doesn’t surprise him, but the sudden intensity of it nearly knocks the wind out of him. Because Cass isn’t just trustworthy, isn’t just loyal, isn’t just kind and patient and intelligent and attractive??—
He’s perfect. Perfect in all the ways JJ wants, perfect in all the ways JJ needs.
Perfect in all the ways JJ someday wants to be.
And Cass cares about JJ. JJ knows that. He knows that Cass cares about him as a person and a friend and a co-parent, but he just wishes it were…
More. More than friendship, more than camaraderie and companionship, more than co-parenting and co-habiting and co- everything.
He wishes that Cass loved JJ. Just like JJ is pretty sure that, somewhere along the way, he started to fall in love with Cassius Chin. “Well,” he says, trying to match Cass’s light tone, “maybe it’s working.”
Cass’s grin widens. “Yeah?”
JJ ducks his head, trying to hide his smile. “Yeah.”
“Good,” Cass whispers, and he nudges closer into JJ’s space, their knees brushing together. “Tell me what else you want to know, JJ. I have a wealth of useless knowledge on every subject imaginable.”
I want to know everything about you. JJ swallows the words down. “Well,” he asks hesitantly, “do you know any lore about Cachapa Castle or Pad Thai Palace?”
“Oh, do I ever,” Cass drawls, and as he launches into his next story while Desi giggles at her favorite show, JJ takes a deep breath to clear out the roaring in his chest and wishes beyond anything that this moment could last forever.