Chapter 35
35
C ass has kissed people before, of course. Things like kissing and sex don’t exactly have direct parallels in Tamaros, but after being on Earth for two hundred fifty years, it would be strange if he hadn’t at least attempted them. And while he’s always understood in a detached way why humans find them physically pleasurable, he was never really sold on the idea of “true love’s first kiss” being something magical.
He gets it now.
JJ’s lips are firm and warm and just as gentle as Cass always imagined. His mouth moves slowly against Cass’s, hesitant and unsure, and Cass presses back eagerly, trying to convey that yes, Cass is enjoying this, and yes, Cass wants this, and yes, JJ understood Cass’s awkward half-confession correctly??—
Now, Cass just never wants to stop kissing him. Hypothetically, he doesn’t have to, since demons don’t need to breathe, but he knows that JJ will need to come up for air at some point.
Cass resolves to make it last as long as he can until then. He gently presses downward, cradling the back of JJ’s head against his palm, until JJ gets the hint and sinks back to the ground, his entire body relaxing under Cass’s touch. Smiling, Cass drapes himself flush on top of JJ, tangles his fingers in JJ’s hair, tilts his head to deepen the kiss??—
Tentatively, JJ slides his hands up to rest on Cass’s back, his calloused palms on Cass’s bare skin making him shiver. His lips part on a soft sigh, letting Cass take the lead, and Cass gladly obliges, testing and teasing and exploring until JJ’s fingers dig into Cass’s shoulders and his breath hitches on a moan.
Eventually, JJ’s hand finds Cass’s cheek, coaxing him away. Cass is only disappointed for a moment, because the second he sees JJ’s flushed cheeks and bright eyes and lopsided smile, he quickly realizes that he never wants to look away.
“Hi,” JJ says softly, his breath warm against Cass’s skin.
“Hi,” Cass whispers back. “This is?—this is okay, right?”
JJ’s smile widens. “Very.”
“Good,” Cass murmurs. Deliberately, he leans down and presses a kiss to JJ’s lips, then another; he trails kisses across JJ’s cheek, follows the curve of his jaw, skims his lips down the side of JJ’s neck??—
JJ shivers, tipping his head back to give Cass a better angle. Cass takes his time, working his way down to the neckline of JJ’s shirt and nipping at his collarbone before licking his way back up.
JJ barely stifles a gasp. Cass’s lips curve as he props himself up on his elbows, meeting JJ’s eyes. “Tell me what you want, Julian.”
JJ’s response is immediate. “You.”
A grin jumps onto Cass’s face. “You already have me. Be more specific.”
“I…” JJ licks his lips nervously. “Everything. I?—I want everything. With you. With, um.” He looks away, fidgeting. “With the understanding that I, uh, basically haven’t done anything before today.”
Not for the first time, Cass is struck by just how deeply Julian Jackson trusts him. “That’s okay,” he murmurs. “We’ll go slow, yeah? Figure out what you enjoy. All you have to do is tell me if you really like something, so I can do it again, or if you really don’t like something, so I don’t do it anymore. I’ll handle all the little details, okay?”
JJ’s smile is shy. “Okay,” he whispers back. “I?—I liked the neck thing.”
Obediently, Cass dips back down, pressing kisses to the line of JJ’s pulse. “Like this?”
“Y?—Yeah.”
Cass goes slower this time, cataloging JJ’s every shiver and hitching breath, before reaching the neckline of his shirt again. Lightly, he tugs at it with his teeth. “Can I get you out of this?”
“Yes.”
“Great,” Cass says, and he snaps his fingers, sending all of JJ’s clothes back to the laundry room at their house.
Without warning, JJ jerks underneath him, letting out a strangled noise. “What the? ? —??”
“JJ?” Cass flinches away, eyes widening. “JJ, are you okay?”
“I?—?” JJ sucks in a ragged breath. “I didn’t expect you to teleport away my clothes, Cass!”
“Oh.” Heat flames into Cass’s cheeks, and he smiles awkwardly at JJ’s mortified expression. “Sorry, it?—it’s sort of an automatic spell. I, uh. Didn’t think to modulate it. I can probably replace everything? I can??—?”
Frowning with concentration, he waves his hand precisely. A shirt and a pair of sweatpants settle into place over JJ’s frame, although the shirt is inside out and the pants are actually Cass’s. “Better?”
JJ throws his arm over his eyes, looking embarrassed. “It’s, um. It’s fine. You can get rid of all of it.”
Cass’s heart skips a beat. “You sure? Because we can do this the human way. I can?—?” Gently, he tugs at the bottom hem of JJ’s shirt. “I can actually peel this off of you, all sultry and seductive and such, and then we can work on the pants, and??—?”
“Just?—?” Suddenly, JJ laughs. It’s amused and carefree and fond, and Cass instantly decides that he wants to make JJ laugh like that every single day. “I mean, you’re already naked. I am pretty overdressed right now.”
Grinning, Cass snaps his fingers again, leaving JJ’s toned body bare and welcoming beneath his own. “Well, you don’t have anything to be ashamed of,” he says, and he glances down past JJ’s belly. “Like, literally nothing at all.”
JJ covers his face with his hands again. “Cass.”
“JJ.” Cass laughs, grabbing JJ’s wrists to wrestle them away. “JJ, come on. I want to see you. I want to kiss you again. I want??—?”
JJ pushes himself up to sitting, silencing Cass with another kiss. Cass settles himself comfortably in JJ’s lap and drapes his arms over JJ’s shoulders, rocking his hips forward and swallowing JJ’s heady moan.
“I also want a lot of this,” Cass murmurs against JJ’s lips.
“So do?—so do I,” JJ manages, and he pulls away to meet Cass’s eyes. “Should we, um. Should we go back home? To, you know, your bedroom?”
“Mm.” Cass wrinkles his nose, considering. “If you want this to happen on an actual mattress, we can definitely go home. But I don’t mind making these memories here. Actually, I’d?—I’d really like it if we stayed.”
JJ’s eyebrows furrow. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I have…” Cass looks back towards the sky, towards the canvas of blue and white surrounded by a circle of trees. Even two and a half centuries later, the view has barely changed from the day he was summoned. “I have mixed memories here. This place is important to me, but it hasn’t always been good to me. And I’d really like to rewrite some of those bad memories with good ones. With?—with memories of you.”
JJ’s smile is soft. “I’d like that, too,” he says, and he hesitates. “In that case, though, do we?—do we need lube? And condoms?” He tilts his head to one side, intrigued. “Do we? Since you’re a demon?”
Cass waves open a pocket dimension and starts rifling through it, pulling out anything they might need. “Demons can’t contract or transmit STIs, so condoms aren’t required, but some people prefer them?—and I also have flavored ones, depending on how things go. Lube should be in here somewhere, and??—?”
“You have a pocket dimension for sex?” JJ looks incredulous.
Cass smirks back. “And aren’t you glad I do?”
JJ buries his face in his hands again. Is he intentionally trying to be adorable? Because it’s working. “What do you even have in there?”
“Let’s see…” Cass feels around. “Condoms, lube, pillows, blankets, candles, handcuffs, ropes??—?”
“Okay, I think that’s enough,” JJ says hastily. “We’re not using those last two today, are we?”
“Not unless you really want to,” Cass says, and he grins at JJ’s unimpressed look. “No. No bondage today. But…” He flicks his wrist. The blanket flutters out and spreads itself neatly over the grass, followed by a handful of pillows. “This might be more comfortable.”
JJ smiles. “Okay,” he says, and he crawls over to the blanket, eases himself down on top??—
And immediately grabs one corner and rolls over with it, wrapping himself into a little cocoon. “Oh, this blanket is so fluffy. I might just want to take a nap instead.”
Cass rolls his eyes, trying to tug it away. “JJ.”
“Nope. Naptime.”
“Julian?—?” The two of them end up wrestling over it, laughing all the while, until Cass manages to pull it out of JJ’s hands. JJ overbalances and flops onto his stomach, Cass accidentally tumbles down on top of him??—
Deliberately, Cass presses his weight down, rocking his hips. “You know, I could definitely get behind this position, too.”
JJ’s breath stutters. “Cass??—?”
Cass grabs JJ’s chin with one hand, turning his head to the side to kiss him again. JJ’s mouth is deeper this time, hungrier, and the low whine in his throat when Cass licks his way into his mouth sends heat spiking straight down past Cass’s belly. JJ twists around onto his back, twining his fingers into Cass’s hair and wrapping his legs around Cass’s waist and??—
“You sure you’ve never done this before, lackey?” Cass murmurs.
JJ’s laugh is shaky. “No, but?—but I’ve wanted to. With you. I’ve thought about it a lot over the past few weeks, about doing this with you, and about what I’d like, and about what you’d maybe like, too. And?—and I thought about how I’d want to touch you, and how I’d want you to touch me.”
The words streak through Cass like lightning, setting his nerves on fire and making his body stand up and pay attention. He pulls back the slightest bit, tipping JJ’s chin up to look into his eyes. “Tell me everything.”
So he does.
“Oh, you were so right,” Cass says, snuggling deeper into his and JJ’s blanket cocoon. “This blanket is amazing.”
“Told you,” JJ says smugly, cinching his arm more firmly around Cass’s shoulders.
Cass’s soft laugh vibrates straight into JJ’s chest. He’s curled up against JJ’s side with his head resting on JJ’s shoulder and his arm and leg wrapped around JJ like he never wants to let go.
Since JJ never wants to leave, he considers it an excellent arrangement. He lets his eyes slide closed, relaxing into the warmth of the fluffy blanket and the heat of Cass pressed up against him. The outside air is cool on his exposed skin, but right now, it’s hard to feel anything except drowsy and satiated and content.
Emphasis on the “drowsy.” Cass may have been overwhelmingly patient and understanding, guiding JJ’s hands to where he wanted to be touched and making JJ see stars in return, but it was also clear that he knew exactly what he wanted. He expertly chipped through JJ’s defenses, turned him into a trembling mess within minutes, dragged out their pleasure until JJ was begging for release??—
It was nothing like JJ expected, but somehow, it was still perfect in every way.
Not to mention the fact that Cassius Chin, the fearsome demon who accidentally started World War I, is a top-notch cuddler. JJ wonders what else he doesn’t know about Cass.
He can’t wait to learn. Quietly, he clears his throat. “So this wasn’t a one-time thing, right?”
Cass scoffs, not even opening his eyes. “Please. I’m already mentally planning our wedding. I think Obie has some pull at that pancake house with the chapel in Las Vegas, so we could probably have the ceremony for free. You like pancakes, right?”
A startled grin jumps onto JJ’s face. Logically, he knows that Cass is joking, and logically, he knows that it’s much too soon to even think about marriage, but??—
But there’s something about the idea of being Cass’s husband that makes JJ feel like he can fly. “I do like pancakes,” he agrees. “How about the honeymoon?”
“I know the broad strokes. Probably a beach somewhere. But we’ll have to pick an all-inclusive resort with room service, because, ah…” His fingertips trail teasingly down JJ’s belly. “I doubt we’ll be leaving the bedroom much.”
JJ shivers. “I think I like that idea.”
“Me, too.” Cass props his chin on JJ’s chest, considering him. “After that, I actually have a few properties overseas. Maybe we could go on a family vacation? Just until the craziness dies down in Redwater? And there are a lot of trails nearby?—we could all go horseback riding together.”
JJ blinks down at him, surprised. “You know how to ride a horse?”
Cass waggles his eyebrows. “I know how to ride a lot of things, lackey.”
JJ chokes on a laugh, letting his head drop back to the ground. “You’re a menace.”
“Why does knowing how to ride a motorcycle make me a menace?” Cass asks innocently.
JJ’s thoughts immediately get derailed. “You know how to ride a motorcycle?”
Cass looks affronted. “Why are you more excited about that than my insinuation that I’d ride you?”
“Can you teach me? How to ride a motorcycle, I mean?”
Cass’s eyes soften. “Of course. I can teach you everything I know. All my recipes, all my magic tricks, all my stories. All my weapons and fighting styles. I’ll rift you to all my favorite places around the world, teach you about their history and language and culture. We’ll try every restaurant, explore every marketplace, visit every monument. Trace constellations and chase eclipses?—starting with the total eclipse hitting Redwater in December.”
JJ’s heart swells. “Sounds like you’ve put some thought into this.”
“Maybe just a little,” Cass says, giving him a crooked grin. “And I’ve thought about the lazy days, too. Staying up late and sleeping in. Waking up next to you. Brunch as the only valid meal of the day. Movies and takeout, watching storms and stargazing. Blowing you every morning while Desi naps.”
JJ throws back his head and laughs. “I might actually put in a vote for lazy days only.”
Cass’s smile is fond. “Me, too,” he says, and he leans forward, pressing a light kiss to JJ’s lips. “And we can do that, JJ. For the rest of your life, the world is ours.”
The wording catches JJ’s attention. Not “for the rest of our lives,” but “for the rest of your life.”
Because Cass is immortal. JJ isn’t.
And someday, JJ is going to die and leave Cass alone. JJ’s chest aches at the thought. “Cass, are you?—are you sure about this?”
Cass squints up at him. “Sure about the merits of blowjobs and takeout? Yes, absolutely.”
Actually, I did the math. You’re twenty-two years old, right? Hypothetically…
JJ looks away. “You said it yourself,” he says quietly. “If I’m lucky, I’ll live until I’m one hundred?—seventy-eight more years. Rounded up to eighty for convenience. You’ll live forever. What happens after I die?”
Cass goes still. For a long moment, he searches JJ’s face.
And then, softly, so softly that JJ almost doesn’t hear him, Cass says, “Then I’ll be very sad.”
JJ’s eyes sting. “Right. So is it even worth it? If I’m only going to be here for a fraction of your life, and if it’ll hurt you when I die, then?—then are you sure it’s worth it?”
Cass doesn’t drop JJ’s gaze. “Yes. I’m sure.”
“And I?—I’m kind of a wreck. You know that. It’s not going to be eighty perfect years. It’s going to be eighty messy years. Years where I screw up and say the wrong things and accidentally hurt you.”
“I’m still sure,” Cass says.
“And?—?” JJ swallows hard. “It might not even be eighty years. I think my grandparents only lived to be in their seventies, so that’s only fifty years. And considering my track record with dangerous situations…” He winces. “It might be a lot less than eighty.”
“I’m still sure.”
“But?—?”
“JJ.” Cass reaches out, cupping JJ’s cheek against his palm. “I’m sure, okay? I promise. I want this. You. Us. I’ll take that for as long as I can have it. And when the day comes that I can’t anymore…” He brushes his thumb over JJ’s cheek. “Then I’ll survive. And I’ll remember you so, so fondly, Julian. I’ll spend the rest of eternity telling everyone I meet how my boyfriend once brought home thirteen boxes of strawberries just because they were on sale.”
JJ’s eyes feel watery and his laugh feels shaky. Cass’s voice is firm and his eyes are serious, and JJ can’t detect the slightest hint of hesitation in the words, but??—
But he has to try one more time. For Cass’s sake. “It’s going to be complicated.”
To JJ’s surprise, Cass snorts. “It’s been complicated from the start. We met in an ice cream parlor after mutually kidnapping a demon toddler. Honestly, I think this is the easiest part so far.”
JJ huffs out another laugh. “Yeah. Maybe,” he says, and he curls his arm around Cass’s shoulders again, letting his head fall back and his eyes slide closed. For a few minutes, they lapse into silence.
It feels different now, though. Less warm and fuzzy.
Sadder.
JJ’s heart twists. “Sorry,” he whispers. “For ruining the moment.”
Cass’s arm tightens around him. “You’re not ruining anything. You’re thinking ahead and asking reasonable questions. I?—I appreciate that you’re thinking about me, and the future, and a future with both of us in it.” He turns his head, pressing a kiss to JJ’s collarbone. “But, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to ask that we start thinking about that tomorrow. Not today. Today, I just want to enjoy this. Enjoy what we have right now.”
JJ’s chest feels warm. “I’d really like that,” he agrees softly.
He can hear the smile in Cass’s voice. “Good,” he murmurs, and he relaxes against JJ’s side, boneless and content. “Good.”
And this time, the silence feels a lot lighter.