Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Itried to ignore the wet spot staining the wooden pews as we sat and listened to Father Benedict’s morning word.
“Women were created to serve their husbands,” he said monotonously.
“To be the helpmate to men’s divine pursuit of godliness.
As Sisters in Christ, you are avowed to god and god alone.
Denying your bodies, silencing your minds, and becoming meek in the eyes of the lord.
You love only your Heavenly Father, accepting his Holy Spirit to guide you.
This, dear sisters, is how you must worship. ”
Our convent employed two traveling priests, who during their stay resided in a small house on property. Thankfully, their morning prayers and platitudes were short. Each priest saved their best sermons for Sundays when the whole town of Howl Moor joined us for mass.
A small, dreary town.
A small, sequestered convent.
A plethora of secrets.
Most I’d still not uncovered myself. Sister Pandorian bit her nails next to me as we looked down to pray. “It’s going to rain today. You can borrow my boots if you plan on going into the woods again.”
“Thanks,” I whispered back. “What’s the weather tomorrow?”
“Sunny in the morning, chilly, but rainy in the afternoon.”
Pandorian believed that god had gifted her with the knowledge of the weather.
A prophet of meteorology, she’d once boasted.
Every morning, she’d give us her ordained prophecy as seriously as a priest foretold the horrors of hell.
God could not have gifted a more eager or steadfast follower than Sister Pandorian.
Though I wasn’t sure I always believed that she was gifted such a thing from the divine, sure enough, her predictions were somehow always accurate.
Prayer ended and we stood, waiting for Father Benedict to waddle away in his wrinkled robes before we exhaled and stretched.
Sister Delilyx let out a breath. “Thank goodness Father didn’t notice that I don’t have my bible today.”
Reverend Mother Veilentine lifted her brows. “And why is that?”
“I told you all already. The bats took it. The bats keep stealing my things. Last week it was my needlework, this week it’s my bible.”
Putting a hand on Sister Delilyx’s shoulder, I bit my lip to hide a smile. “I’ve explored every inch of this convent, from sanctuary, balconies, basements, and halls. There are no bats here.”
“They come for me in my sleep.” She crossed her arms. “Incense, prayer candles, nothing has worked to rid me of this newest plague.”
“Don’t let your bats near Quincy.” Sister Pandorian eyed the pew as she picked up her bible. “Why’s this one wet?”
Reverend Mother and I met eyes for a moment before she smoothly diverted the subject. “Come, Sisters, let’s attend to breakfast. The sooner we feed Father Benedict, the sooner he leaves.”
Our prioress may have skirted attention away from the evidence of our passion lingering in the holy sanctuary, but my mind still replayed the early morning events.
I’d only wandered into the modest, yet beautiful in its own right, space that morning because I couldn’t sleep.
To my surprise, our prioress knelt by the altar, whispering a prayer.
I’d considered quietly slipping out the way I’d came, but she’d noticed me.
Standing, she smoothed her robes and gestured me forward with two fingers.
My heart leapt into my throat and heat fell between my thighs.
My body yearned for all she’d offered since I’d come to Lost Souls two months prior. Pleasure, reprieve… pain.
“Good morning, Sis—”
“Did I say you could speak, Sister Jezebella?”
“No, Reverend Mother.”
Two inches taller than me, she assessed me with her hazel eyes.
Only the smallest fray of dark salt and pepper hair fell from her veil.
Veilentine couldn’t have been older than forty-five.
Though myself and the other two sisters in the convent were only in our mid-twenties, I supposed she seemed much older and wiser than we were.
The few wrinkles along her eyes only hinted at smiles I longed to receive from her.
The way I fantasized about seeing the strong yet soft body beneath her robes had kept me up more than a few nights.
Though, I’d take what I could get from this demanding and domineering woman.
She clicked her tongue. “You like calling me mother, don’t you?”
“Maybe.”
Veilentine quirked a small grin. “You wicked little thing.” She sat on the front pew, illuminated by flickering candlelight, and pulled her robes up over her thighs. “On your knees.”
“Yes,” I breathed, already dropping before her.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, Mother.”
“Very good.”
My heart flickered to life in my chest.
“Now”—she leaned back, tilting her head on the back of the pew and closing her eyes— “put your mouth to work.”
Put my mouth to work I did.
I salivated at the memory as my tongue remembered her taste.
“I’m not very hungry this morning,” I said, standing in the opposite direction of my sisters. “I believe I’ll head towards the woods and check my traps.”
“Did you already eat something?” Reverend Mother arched a salacious eyebrow.
My cheeks heated as my holy sisters looked on, oblivious. “Yes, in fact, I did. Though, I could always have seconds…”
“Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, Sister Jezebella,” Veilentine chastised lightly. “Take Bernard with you should you venture into the forest. Also, be back by noon. We have a new nun joining us today.”
My holy sisters turned in surprise to face our Reverend Mother.
“A newcomer?” Pandorian widened her lively green eyes. “Will she stay?”
Veilentine replied. “If we make a good impression, I presume she may. However, until we know for sure, we must all be on our best and holiest behavior. Her home convent, The Abbey of Silent Damnation, has a reputation for being stringent, to say the least. We all should mind our manners and… conceal what the lord has blessed us with here, until I decide the veil should be lifted. Understood?”
We all nodded. It wasn’t the first time a neighboring convent sent a nun to visit. However, it was the first I’d heard our Reverend Mother allude to another sister joining us.
Delilyx clapped and bounced on her heels, nearly knocking off her veil and revealing the waves of her chestnut hair as she counted on her fingers.
“Jezebella, Pandorian, and me, plus one more, is four. Oh praises, no more odd number of sisters! Perhaps that is why the bats came for me and now they will leave me be. This blessing makes me so happy.”
“Unless… ” Pandorian glided over and adjusted Delilyx’s head covering. The two shared a small, almost indiscernible, heated gaze. “The new nun joins and you count Reverend Mother, that makes five.”
Delilyx furrowed her brows before giving Pandorian a playful shove. “Why did you have to say that? Now I’ll be recounting all day.”
“I’ll take Bernard and we’ll be back by noon,” I called over my shoulder, leaving my Reverend Mother to tend to my holy sisters’ questions and excitement over our new visitor.
I’d been the new girl for two months—what would accepting another nun into the convent mean?
My chest tightened and my brain hurried to tell myself that this nun would likely only stop by, make our community and church rounds with us, and leave, just like the two others before her.
Then why would my Reverend Mother believe there was a possibility she’d stay?
Would Veilentine take her in… in the same way she took me in?
The musings tickled my mind as I shoved on Pandorian’s rain boots by the back door of the small mudroom.
I guessed I wouldn’t mind sharing, as long as the attentions…
the sessions, Reverend Mother called them, did not cease or wane.
Would they halt with the addition of a new nun? Even just a visiting nun?
Worry pressed in on my senses as I stepped outside into the brisk gloom of Howl Moor. A stone path overtaken by soggy moss made a jagged path into the thick forest beyond, begging me to follow it.
Bernard lifted his shaggy gray head from his paws and cocked his head, flopping over his ears. “Want to go into the woods, boy?”
The Irish wolfhound stood, and though I’d walked with him for weeks now, his size still stunned me—he nearly came up to my chest. I petted his head. “Not sure why Reverend Mother thinks you can protect me, being that you’re practically blind, but I guess your nose still works.”
That, and he was scary enough to look at that anything untoward lurking in the woods would likely take one glance at him and decide not to bother with me. The townsfolk had all sorts of stories about fantastical monsters in the forest. Though I wasn’t sure I believed in ghost stories.
Much like Delilyx’s bats, most mysteries were easily solved with a touch of logic… such as Delilyx had the memory of a goldfish and was constantly misplacing her things. Even so… the forest was dark and dreary… and it didn’t hurt to travel with a big dog.
Once the lanky, floppy canine and I had trekked across the fields to the tree line, I turned to look out over Howl Moor, like I did every time.
Smoke curled from chimneys, clotheslines stretched between the moss-covered stone of ancient homes, and the little rainy town warmed something in my soul with its quiet, simple existence.
Though modern amenities here were sparse, and we had little to no technology to speak of, I’d enjoyed the simplicity of my new town.
It was a far cry from the cold, brick city and even colder convent I’d served as a nun before coming to Howl Moor.
Well, before I was sent to Howl Moor and given to The Altar Church of Lost Souls.
Luckily, in only a couple short months, my dread over a new place had bloomed into something else entirely.
Fondness and adoration, maybe? It was that or the sessions with Reverend Mother Veilentine were intertwining with the reserved intrigue of the comforting gloom that Howl Moor offered.
I didn’t want to lose either. Couldn’t lose either.
They meant too much to me already… so regardless of what happened with this visiting sister, I had to protect what I’d found here in this convent.
These secrets, these sessions, these women were mine and I was theirs.
This new sister would come and go.
A quick trip.
That’s all it would be.
Bernard and I fell onto our worn and regular dirt trail through thick, ruddy red-barked trees.
The sound of water gently lapping against stones calmed the thoughts ruminating around the caverns of my mind.
Slipping off my veil, I hung it neatly on a familiar branch, followed by my black robes.
When I was down to my white under tunic, I looked around to make sure none of the neighborhood kids had snuck out here to play.
Or worse, I feared men hunting or passing through.
Even as a kid venturing into the brush, I knew I’d rather happen upon a bear than a man.
My entire childhood I rejected the dresses and pigtails my mother attempted to force upon me. Instead of the modest and restrictive clothes for girls, I opted for stealing my little brother’s trousers and dirtying them as I climbed trees and built forts.
I’d received countless scoldings on how to be a lady and how my future husband would require a well-trained wife. With how many times I’d been forced to recite Proverbs Thirty-One, The Virtuous Wife, it’s a wonder I ended up taking vows and becoming a nun at all.
Though something that had never left me was the memory of the sinking feeling I felt as I aged and experienced the grotesque sensation of mens’ stares as they roamed my body. The remembrance of such reminded me quickly of just why my hometown’s convent grew so appealing.
Once I was satisfied that the forest was free of children and men, I slipped into nakedness, feeling a thrill from the cool air against my bare skin.
The showers at the convent didn’t provide the same open, airy excitement as being without clothing in nature.
However, my motivation wasn’t purely for the excitement; this was a mission.
Testing the water with one toe, it answered me with a warmer than expected greeting.
The pads of my feet slid over the rocks until I was submerged to my chin.
Floating onto my back, I peeked an eye open at Bernard who sniffed along the shoreline.
Though the sky was grey, the water was perfect, and this swim was divine.
Lazily, I backstroke towards the opposite side of the lake.
I could just make out the curved shape of my trap as it dangled between two rocks, though I couldn’t be sure if it had been successful.
At least it was still standing and hadn’t been knocked over as it had countless times before until I braced my little structure with better twine and netting I’d acquired from town.
I was lucky the day we did our community rounds and I’d been assigned to visit with Tommy Morrison.
The child had been weaving a fishing net out of wire his dad discarded.
In exchange for helping him, being that I am an expert knitter and it wasn’t difficult, he gave me a portion of the net.
It had served my purposes well, and I hoped, with the recent wave of clear, moonlit nights, that my bounty would finally be what I sought.
As I stroked backwards, breathing deep the morning air, letting my worries sink to the bottom of the lake, something behind me splashed.
The water rippled and I bumped into something.
I bumped into something?
In the middle of the lake, what was there to bump into?
In that moment, every campfire story, every nightmare confessed to me by a Howl Moor child, every strange sound coming from this very forest in the night— flooded my system. With a yelp, I righted myself and spun around, expecting a beast, a monster, a demon.
Instead, I was met with an angel.