Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Prayer Journal
Entry Sixty-Four
My Holy Guidance,
They are so kind. I did not expect them to be so. Even through their warranted suspicion, they offer me grace. Grace I have not been afforded until now. How can this be? Why would you shepherd me to this place for the purpose I was sent when they are as such?
The church, it calls to me in its stone walls.
The town beckons me.
The forest howls my name.
And then my dreams… my dreams are of her. The cascade of her black hair and the pierce of her green eyes. As she has led me through prayer, I have seen divinity as never before. Clearer, brighter, and drenched in your sovereign love.
This is the work of the devil to deceive me, is it not? It must be. She is a demon and the devil is in her lips as they extract pleasure from my holy place.
I should say no, I should resist her temptress charms…
though I cannot. I am rendered helpless by her smile.
The slight point of it, the onyx glint in the deep of her gaze…
how I long to taste her as she has tasted me.
To do so, I feel every secret within me would spill out and into the open, and I cannot do that.
I will not do that.
I cannot be moved.
This is not about my will, it is about yours.
The desires of my wicked flesh cannot win.
I will accomplish what I came for or I will die trying.
It is time… it has to be.
Oh, she will hate me once she finds out, won’t she?
Let it be so,
Lilith