Chapter 27 #2
Biting the corner of her lip, she nodded. “I know it sounds silly after everything we’ve done but… yes, please, if you don’t mind.”
I turned, facing the tree. “Why would I mind? Consent is important. You should always feel comfortable with me.”
Behind me, the sound of clothes rustling commenced. “Did you learn that from Reverend Mother during your… office visits?”
My fingers paused over my collar. “Yes,” I said cautiously.
“Is she who gave you the toy we used?”
“Yes.” I found myself deciphering her tone, weighing each word. She didn’t sound annoyed, or entirely jealous, only curious and mildly intrigued.
“Not romantic?” She confirmed again.
I smiled, tugging off my tunic and then stepping out of my undergarments. “Not romantic. Functional, pleasurable, informative, mind-blurring, but not romantic. Not like what we have.”
A splash sounded in the distance. Lilith dunked under the water and sprang up, smoothing her hair over her head and wading.
Hell, just seeing her bare arms and her cleavage was enough to have me panting.
“What do we have?” she called out, her tone light and playful, as if shedding her garb and immersing herself in the lake had released a lighter version of her.
The version I first met. The traveler, the explorer, the free girl.
Finally naked and unencumbered by the modesty Lilith possessed, I swayed my hips as I walked slowly to the water’s edge, not missing the way her gaze roamed my body from neck to thighs.
The corner of my mouth quirked in a smile as I shook out my waves, letting them fall over my bare shoulders and over my breasts. “We have a tragic romance,” I purred my coy response, noting her distracted glance as she took me in.
Her lips parted, seemingly mesmerized by every step. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman,” she awed. “You are flawless, Jezebella.”
My chest warmed as butterflies fluttered behind my ribs. “I am but a lowly demon,” I said, inching into the water. “You are an angel.” I waded up to her, my toes leaving the safety of the lake floor.
“We meet again.” She smiled, leaning in. My eyes hooded closed as I expected a kiss, when instead, a wave from a splash washed over me as Lilith propelled backwards.
I coughed, laughing as I wiped my eyes. “Pretty messed up to tease a girl like that!” I yelled after her, hearing her giggle faintly as she swam away. “I’m going to check my traps,” I called.
Lilith waved a hand, letting me know she’d heard me. I swam to the other side of the water, finding the two strong branches housing my net. My brows furrowed as swam nearer, inspecting it… the netting hung slack, a giant gash down the middle.
Reaching forward, I inspected where it ruptured, confirming my thought.
Someone cut my net. Granted, it could have been a hunter, someone from the town, or some of the kids who played in the woods.
Yet, the perfect slice, my net destroyed, amongst blood on the trees and all the other frightening things happening…
it reminded me that these woods weren’t the same that they used to be.
Or worse, maybe they were. Perhaps the forest of Howl Moor had always possessed secrets, hidden evils I’d not paid enough attention to.
Bellows in the night, screams, dripping blood, and hanging swans…
to me, I’d been oblivious. Much like Lilith, what was scary anymore after living through the hell called church?
Monsters would always seem friendlier than robed men and their capricious gospel. The gloom of the forest was a welcome reprieve from the mercurial orthodoxy of the house of god.
My time-weathered maxim instilled with ruler slaps to my knuckles.
Proverbs memorized and recited, and goblets tipped to drown me in christ’s blood.
They’d torn bread and instructed me to crush it between my teeth while imagining jesus mangled for my sins.
All while that mythical, forlorn man in a crown of thorns dangled from a dusty cross in a hollow sanctuary of stone.
I thought jesus left his tomb? So, why did we insist on placing him back inside one?
Trapped, I decided. Jesus was just as trapped by them as I was.
All I’d had was these woods.
That net.
The moths that wandered in.
A bit of surprise, a swim, a sanctuary with the stone of the tomb rolled away, letting the light in.
As much as I’d come to appreciate Lost Souls, I knew the whole of me stretched to break free of the vows I’d bound myself to.
I was lucky that with Reverend Mother’s help I’d discovered some measure of just how I could work within the bindings of my holy calling.
Yet, even so, at the end of the day, I was a moth in a net.
Not even that, I was one of many moths in a net, and not even an extraordinary one.
I wasn’t a lunar moth with bright green wings and spots that appeared as eyes.
I was a common variety, snatched up, avowed, and tossed aside to wither away in pursuit of godliness.
Whatever the hell godliness was. A conveniently never-ending pursuit is what it was, and I raged against it internally at times.
At other times, I knew I was where I was meant to be. Though lately, since meeting Lilith, something else had been awakened within me. A longing for more. A brighter color, as Miss Honey had put it.
I didn’t know what that meant for me or my future. But I knew I’d follow Lilith to damnation of any sort of hell she wanted to walk into simply to be beside her. I’d never offered such devotion to god.
Water rippled nearby and I sensed her even before she put a hand on my palm. “Can you not mend it?” Lilith asked, assuming my distress was only directed at the net and not at… everything else, too.
I shook my head. “No… what’s been done can never be restored.”
I feared that was the truth.