Chapter 29 #2
“He did many times.” Her throat bobbed. “You know what I did, years ago, the morning after he first laid a hand on me? I threw a party and invited all my best girl friends. He doted on me all day, he even helped me clean and grilled the meat skewers for us. ‘You have the most perfect husband,’ my friends said.” Iris let out a breath.
“I made excuses each time it happened because the next morning I’d awaken to breakfast in bed, or flowers, or he’d cry on his knees begging my forgiveness.
He went to church, he confessed, and he was forgiven each time.
” Iris tossed her mask onto the grass. “Archie got to be washed anew in the blood of the lamb. Redeemed after each blow. Hell, Archie was sanctified through christ before some of my bruises even had time to appear.”
“Iris,” I breathed. “None of that is okay. I’m so sorry.”
“It wasn’t until he came for the children that I… I snapped.” She swallowed down tears. “You heard of the blood on our doorstep, I presume?”
I nodded. “What… what happened after that?” I asked, not needing to know the details of how… and unable to deny the sense of relief that I felt. Relief that the blood on the doorstep was his and not hers.
“I ran to the church,” she continued, meeting Reverend Mother’s gaze. “And the wolf found me.”
Veilentine took over. “The wolf took care of it. These men hide behind bibles and altars, their sins forgiven freely, while the burden of their actions fall upon us as women to carry as our own personal cross. Why should we sit idly by and allow it? Men hide behind monsters all the time… well, now, so do we.”
Another lamb spoke. “We protect each other here in Howl Moor.” Another mask fell to the ground as Sister Pandorian stood behind me. “Will you join our order?”
I looked to Lilith, who looked just as befuddled as I did.
Something told me she’d sorted out bits and pieces of this happening, but not all of it.
“Your order of what, exactly?” Lilith asked.
“I recognize your stone, for we had one to the goddess in Wilt Weald, complete with blackthorn trees of protection. Are you witches?”
Another woman took off her mask and joined us. Sister Delilyx smiled weakly. “We’re just women looking out for each other under the cover of night, beneath the secrecy of ghost stories.” She shook her head. “I only just joined this week; I’m still new.”
“You found us out well,” Veilentine encouraged. “Your diligence and prayer paid off.”
“What about the other missing men?” I asked the remaining lambs. “Where are they?”
Another lamb stepped forward, revealing herself without her mask. Miss Honey spoke, “They’re gone, child. As they should be.”
“Only the worst of them.” Batilda pulled off her lamb mask and came closer to the stone. “No thanks to my swans.”
“An unfortunate casualty,” Veilentine replied. “I shall find you new baby swans.”
Batilda nodded, holding her mask in front of her. “They’re called cygnets.”
My gaze took in each of the now maskless women.
“You’ve all been working together.” They nodded.
Under the cover of night and the guise of monsters, they’d been taking judgement day into their own hands.
Exorcising the will god never had the fucking nerve to bestow.
Did it bother me? My chest burned with something…
but I didn’t feel that the anger was towards the women around me.
Instead, it was towards the need for such a secret movement, the necessity of an order such as this.
“You’ve been discontented,” Veilentine said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
“That god has not been doing more to protect the women of Howl Moor, yes? Well, call us god, if you like, because I won’t have the women here hurt, not under my watch as Reverend Mother.
I became a prioress to shield those in the ways I wish I’d been shielded. Do you blame me, Jezebella?”
“No,” I said honestly. “No, I don’t.” I turned to Lilith. “Maybe that makes me a bad nun, as you call me.”
Lilith shook her head. “I think you’re a great nun, actually. I’m sorry I’ve hidden so much from you… I’ve just been trying to find a way to protect my family. Then I met you, and everyone here, and it became so much more complicated.
I took Lilith’s hand and interlocked our fingers. “How can we protect Lilith and her family now?”
Veilentine’s mouth tensed. “I’m afraid Lilith may be beyond our protection.”
“Why?” I questioned, feeling heat rise to my collar. “You’ll hide bodies and murder men but won’t help someone from outside our town?”
Sister Pandorian joined Veilentine’s side, her curly auburn hair framing her features better than any habit ever did.
“It’s not that simple,” she said. “Silent Damnation is a much larger and more influential church than we are. They’re growing, too, and absorbing neighboring towns, and even planting more churches outside their borders.
My guess is they’re auditing us. If we don’t pass their standards of hatred, they may want to establish their hold here, too. ”
Veilentine nodded. “They aren’t the first churches to try such a thing, even here at Howl Moor.
We must tread carefully.” She addressed Lilith then with sincerity.
“Of course, if am able, I will offer you and your family sanctum here at Altar Church. Perhaps if I tread lightly enough, I may do so. However, my highest holy calling is to the people here and the nuns under my charge. They must come first.”
“No,” I argued. “That’s not—”
“It’s okay,” Lilith interrupted. “I understand. May I at least remain here until I decide what my next steps are?”
“You are always welcome here. You’ve taken your vows, you are a nun, whether you feel that way in your heart or not, you are a holy woman in the eye of god.
If this abbey is what you desire, you always will have a place here, should your home church allow it.
I do ask that you keep our secrets, if you’d like to remain in our good graces. ”
Lilith lowered her chin. “Of course, I understand. Thank you for everything.”
“You’ve both bled on the altar, you are official members of the Order of Howl Moor.”
“I suppose we are.” I looked to Lilith who nodded her agreement, still clutching my hand with hers.
“An even number.” Delilyx beamed next to her lamb-head mask. “Eight now instead of six.”
I raised an eyebrow at Delilyx and Pandorian. “The blood on the trees and howls in the woods?”
“The blood became a marker for finding our way up here, and a hazard of our offering,” Delilyx answered.
Pandorian cut in. “The howls and outfits are necessary to keep up the lore. We have little flutes and noise boxes we blow into that create the sounds. It scares people away from snooping around.”
“Do I have to wear a creepy lamb mask?” I asked.
All the women in the circle laughed.
Veilentine squeezed my shoulder. “We’ll see if I can find you a crow mask.” She took my hand and guided us to make a circle. “Let us pray,” she said.
We all bowed our heads as Veilentine prayed.
However, she didn’t address god. There was no beseeching of the heavens on her tongue, or platitudes of the saints.
Nothing about the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit.
Veilentine prayed to the forces around us, thanked the sky for allowing us to meet, and she thanked the earth for holding us.
There was gratitude for the trees that kept us hidden and another day we had blood to give.
We basked in the protective instincts of women and promised to always keep each other safe.
It was one of the truest prayers I’d ever heard.
When she ended her poetic words, she spoke the words I’d heard from Lilith.
Let it be so.
Let it be so.