Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
The last bit of scripture was read, the parishioners stood and received their blessing from the priest’s outstretched arm, and with a chorus of amen’s, the choir sang an exit tune.
I helped Lilith straighten her habit and we both smoothed our tunics. Kissing her knuckles as I held her hand, I asked, “Are you ready?”
She glanced towards the two buzzards sent by Silent Damnation as they stood and looked around the room. “I have to be.”
“I wish I could hold your hand the whole time,” I said. “But I won’t leave your side, okay?”
Lilith nodded, the pink flush of her cheeks faded to the frightened, pale shade I hated seeing on her. I hated that anything made her afraid. I hated how helpless I was against these so-called righteous men of god.
We descended the stairs, passing through a busy corridor of parishioners chatting and working towards the doors outside.
I caught a glimpse of Reverend Mother and Father Benedict with the two men from Damnation.
Sister Pandorian and Sister Delilyx standing near them, heads down, but listening.
I knew that stance well. Invisible but aware. Us nuns wore it well.
Pandorian glanced up, making eye contact, and subtly waved us forward.
Lilith sucked in a breath. “Here we go. If I’m unable to say a proper goodbye… Jezebella, I hope you know that I… I…”
I shook my head. “No, none of that. Never goodbye. If not in this life… then the next we will be together. Okay?”
Lilith offered me a weak smile. Reverend Mother, Father Benedict, and the buzzards from Silent Damnation moved towards the door outside.
We followed them through the doors where they stood at the top of the stairs talking, though I couldn’t make out their conversation with the men’s backs to us. Reverend Mother noticed our approach and introduced us cooly. “Ah, here she is now. Sister Lilith, look who has come to fetch you.”
My heart dropped into my shoes and I resisted the urge to scream. Instead, I led Lilith to stand before them like a lamb to slaughter.
Sister Pandorian and Delilyx stood quietly behind them, clutching their hands and gazing downward, though their eyes darted up to take us in, worry etched across their features.
Father Benedict boomed. “We believe your nun has had a fine visit and attended to our ministries well.”
Reverend Mother held her cross necklace, smoothing over the wood with her thumb. What would she say? What could she say? What could any of us women do in the face of men with more power and prestige than we had?
The long-faced men looked nearly identical, only one was shorter than the other. Both with thin grey hair, drooping wrinkles at their jaws, and lifeless eyes above stern expressions. The vicar spoke lowly, “Our nun had not corresponded with us as she was commanded.”
Your nun.
Our nun.
Heat rose in my chest. “Her name is Lilith,” I said.
The vicar looked at me then, as if just noticing my existence, though I’d been standing in front of them and beside Lilith the entire time.
The bishop next to him eyed me and responded in the same low tenor of barely concealed malice. “Father Benedict, do the sisters of The Altar Church of Lost Souls often speak out of turn and sacrilegiously address holy men above their rank without invitation?”
“This is Sister Jezebella,” Father Benedict said a beat too quickly. “Our newest nun. Forgive her, she is new to our customs here and has been slow to learn the ways of the lord.”
I knew he hated me. The two nuns behind him bristled at that, and I knew Sister Pandorian was biting her tongue. Don’t say anything, I chanted mentally in her direction. Just play it calm.
“It is time we took our nun back to Silent Damnation. We thank you for housing her; however, her ministry is needed back home.”
The almost imperceivable whimper that left Lilith’s throat buckled my knees, and despite my best efforts to stay quiet, I spoke out again. “Take me with you.”
Father Benedict’s eyes grew wide and he jumped in to babble some excuse for my sinful outbursts.
Reverend Mother watched me silently, her expression unreadable. Ever the pious nun… or so everyone thought.
The vicar stepped forward and grabbed my collar.
Shock rippled through me as he roughly jerked me forward.
A wave of gasps erupted around me, and it was then it hit my awareness that a small crowd of parishioners had gathered to watch what was happening.
The holy man didn’t seem to mind, though, as his pungent breath hit my face as he growled.
“You sinful little wretch, speaking as such to a man of my position. What makes you think we’d take you? ”
My panic threatened to render me useless, but as I glanced at my sisters horrified faces, I blurted out. “I hate it here. They are horrible here at Altar Church. Please, any abbey would be better than this one.”
The bishop neared. “Is that so? Tell us more.”
Father Benedict stumbled over his words, aghast, before Reverend Mother put out a stabilizing hand, urging him to hold his tongue.
With the vicar’s hard grip at my collar, cutting off oxygen, I forced out the words.
“Things at The Altar Church of Lost Souls are not what they appear. We are forced up before dawn to pray for hours before we clean the church top to bottom. If we disobey, there are lashings.” I glanced around at the small group that crowded us.
Miss Honey, Batilda, and Iris looked on with concern and thinly veiled rage.
At me or at the men, I couldn’t be sure.
“The townspeople are worse. Cruel, strict, and inhospitable people.”
The vicar raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Veilentine. “And what of your Reverend Mother and Sisters in Christ?”
“Reverend Mother Veilentine… she is… a wolf in sheep’s clothing. My sisters, they… we all hate each other.”
The words were poison on my tongue… but the only way I could think of keeping them safe and having a chance at being set free to accompany Lilith.
The vicar dropped me to my feet, and I stumbled backward into Lilith, though I didn’t have the nerve to turn to read her expression.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his hands of me as if I were filthy. “Father Benedict, is this how you shepherd your people? Allowing such sin to spew from their lips?”
“I—I—” the priest stuttered. “I leave the managing of the nuns to our Reverend Mother Veilentine. She may speak if you wish her to.”
The vicar turned expectantly to Veilentine then.
The picture of poise, she glided forward, cross still in hand. “I will confess, vicar, these nuns have been a challenge to whip into shape.”
If it weren’t for the circumstances, I would have laughed at her choice of words.
“They are full of sin,” the bishop grumbled. “All women are. Women are naturally more sinful than men. It was Eve who tempted Adam in the Garden of Eden. The state of the fallen world lies on the shoulders of the sinful woman.”
“Indeed,” Veilentine purred. “Yet it is my humble calling to make amends for our transgressions and to shepherd these nuns on the path of righteousness. It is why I work them so.”
“I do not fault you for that, Reverend Mother,” the vicar responded. He looked to Lilith then. “It should make this one grateful for all we’ve done for her at Silent Damnation.”
“She does not deserve your grace,” Veilentine said softly. “It is a wonder you still extend it with how blasphemous she has been here at Altar Church.”
“How so?” the vicar asked, a slight edge to his tone.
“Well, it seems this one hardly knows how to be a nun at all. She was unaware of our prayers, has limited knowledge of the bible, and could scarcely complete the ministries assigned to her… why, I wonder why Silent Damnation would send us such a rebellious woman… unless… well, it is above my station to consider beyond that.”
The vicar and bishop exchanged a small look.
My heart jumped into my chest… could this work?
“Clearly she needs more discipleship than we can provide.” The vicar looked at the bishop. “In fact, I feel I have just heard the voice of god.”
“Have you?” Veilentine feigned girlish surprise. “Please, share with us what god has said to you so that we may be likewise blessed.”
“God would have it be his will that this errant nun stay with you here.”
The women in the crowd glanced at each other and my sister nuns bit their lips to hide their smiles. I felt Lilith suck in a breath and hold it behind me.
Veilentine clicked her cheek. “No, I don’t believe we can take her on, Vicar.”
The air punched from my lungs and my hands trembled at my sides. I opened my mouth to speak, earning me a warning glare from my Reverend Mother. I closed my mouth, waiting for her next words, hoping she wasn’t about to set fire to this whole, tenuous scene.
The vicar puffed out his chest. “Why is that, Sister? Lost Souls has a reputation for taking in sacrilegious nuns.” He casted a judgmental glare at Pandorian and Delilyx.
I wanted to kick him for that. “I was not aware of just how you trained them in the way of god or if it was sufficient; however, it seems you are doing well to instill the fear of god in this sordid lot you were given.” He passed me a look of disgust. “So, what is one more nun to be blessed to disciple?”
Reverend Mother shook her head, still fiddling with her cross.
“With the burden of accepting another nun if our care, the needs of the church increase so that I may train her. We would need help with the day-to-day tasks of the church. Does your nun happen to, oh, I don’t know, have family we could employ? ”
“She does,” the bishop answered quickly. “We can send them to you straight away.”
Lilith let out a small, hopeful squeak behind me.
Veilentine pretended to ponder another moment before looking to Father Benedict, who only shrugged. Clueless, the man was clueless as ever to the puppet strings our Reverend Mother pulled at on his robes.
With a downcast sigh, she waved her hand. “If it be god’s will, how can I argue.”
“Very well,” the vicar responded, brushing lint off his robes. “We shall be off. It is a long journey by mule down the mountains. Expect Lilith’s family in a fortnight.”
Still pasting on discontentment and worry, Reverend Mother nodded. The men pushed past us, giving Lilith a sidelong, withering stare of hatred, happy they’d plagued her with a fate worser than the one she had before… or so they thought.
We stood on the porch steps at the front of The Altar Church of Lost Souls and watched the gray-haired monsters in robes return to the forest from which they came.
Once they were out of sight, each woman in the circle let out a collective sigh.
Within an instant, hands were upon us, as the townswomen, my Sisters in Christ, my lambs, and my wolf, all wrapped us in a hug.
“Thank you.” Lilith sniffled somewhere in the pile of hugging arms.
Reverend Mother only smiled, a hint of sorrow I couldn’t place behind her gaze.
My thoughts floated back to what she’d said before.
How she wished someone could have saved her, and now she protects others.
It was an honor to see it in action. She gave us each a small embrace before gliding away back into the church.
With the crowd of Howl Moor watching, I interlocked my fingers with Lilith’s. Holding her hand.