Chapter Twenty-Three
These were the times when he left her speechless.
Close to the inn, there was a lake. Seraphina and Rune went exploring, and she discovered it by sound, while he was busy keeping his head down and counting his steps.
It seemed to help ground him when the vastness of the sky threatened to crush him, and the cutting wind swirling through the trees pressed in on him from all sides.
The lake was part of a marshy moorland that spread southeast of Ingolstadt where the Paar river met the Danube.
Its waters were dark as iron under the early November sky.
Peat had stained it the color of old blood, and the surface lay so still it might have been painted on.
Seraphina found a stretch of flat land at the edge of the forest that was damp, but not soaking. The sun had beaten down on it before retreating into the clouds, and it was a spot as good as any for what she had in mind.
“Here, lie down with me,” she said, pulling at his sleeve.
That was how they’d made it so far into the wild. Seraphina had held onto his sleeve, and he hadn’t fought her too hard when he panicked and wanted to curl into a shivering ball. The air was crisp and the trek had warmed them.
“I don’t understand your method,” he said.
“I’m trying to heal you through exposure. I’ve noticed that after you spend too much time inside, it’s harder to make yourself go out.”
Rune lay on his side, facing her. Seraphina could see his shadow wrapped tightly in his cloak. The hood covered his head, and while she’d let hers down, he didn’t follow her example.
“I don’t like this,” he said.
“I’m sorry, but I think it’s necessary. You’ll get used to it if you press on. I’m here with you. If it’s too much, you can squeeze my hand.”
He took that as an invitation and reached for the hand that she’d tucked under her chin. Seraphina laughed and entwined their fingers.
“Better?” she asked.
“No.”
There was a smile in his voice, and she would’ve rolled her eyes if she had any. That gave her a silly idea.
“Roll your eyes for me.”
“What?”
“You know, like when you describe things for me, and I feel like you’re my eyes. So, roll your eyes for me.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Did you do it?”
“Yes.”
“Now, do you feel better?”
“Maybe.”
“Good. That means I’ve effectively distracted you.”
He gave her fingers a tug. “You’ve been effectively distracting me since morning.”
She blushed at that and tucked her chin into the collar of her cloak.
The ground was cold, and it seeped into her bones, but it was good, because that meant it would keep the heat at bay.
They weren’t going to stay here long. She figured that a few minutes a day lying under the open sky would help Rune build up resistance. She didn’t want to traumatize him.
“Have you ever...” He started, then shook his head, changing his mind.
“What? Have I ever what?”
He let out a pained sigh as if he regretted asking the question.
“Have you ever done that before?”
“What we did earlier? Sometimes I do it when I’m alone. But I’ve never done it with a man.”
“I see...”
She bit the inside of her lip. “But I’m not... I mean, I wasn’t...” How could she say this? She wanted to be honest with him without going into details that would slash her wounds open. “I’m not a virgin, is what I’m trying to say.”
“I know.”
“You... do?”
“I heard what you said to Hartmann. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have. I was within earshot, and I...”
She shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I understand.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Hm.” She smiled. “You say sorry like you mean it, but you never did anything to be sorry about. Do you say it preemptively?”
“Sometimes I think I say it for all the people who should’ve said it to you and didn’t.”
Seraphina didn’t know what to say to that.
There were times when she could easily compare him to a child, from how lost he was in the way of the world.
And the ways of a woman. But then, there were times like this, when he was more aware than she gave him credit for, and these were the times when he left her speechless.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he prodded gently.
“No. That is the day I died. I know it sounds stupid. I’m here, living, breathing, wanting... I’m alive, but that still remains the day I died.”
“It doesn’t sound stupid. I wish it didn’t happen to you. You’re pure in my eyes, Seraphina.”
She laughed. “So, you think if I sacrificed myself to save someone, and my bones were buried in the ground, they would become relics?”
He frowned at that. “Don’t talk about sacrificing yourself.”
“Of course not. I’m not the type. Purists are into that, sometimes even doctrinists. I’m a pragmatist through and through. I’d rather use relics than become them.”
Rune released her hand and reached out to run his fingers through her blond hair. Seraphina hummed at his careful touch.
“Why weren’t you in Ingolstadt?” he asked. “Why weren’t you behind the walls of Kr?henstein Academy? You should’ve never left.”
“You’re right,” she said. “Matteo and I should’ve never left.
He didn’t have a choice, though. The relic war had been raging for months, and Headmaster Wolff had lost half of the board members supporting Kr?henstein.
When they left, they took their relics with them.
People think Kr?henstein Academy has powerful relics tucked away in their strongroom, but I’m not so sure.
Greater relics, yes. But apex? The owners don’t declare them, let alone lend them.
Not even for a noble cause. And the Sarumite Order can’t just take the relics they need.
The whole foundation of the Order is that we study them, catalog them, but we don’t confiscate them or force the owners to relinquish or lend them if they don’t wish to.
Unless the relics are used in harmful ways, the Order doesn’t intervene.
It’s called the Right of Quiet Possession.
It’s a hereditary right that recognizes relics as protected household property where title rests with the family, not the parish, the state, or the Order.
Authorities cannot confiscate a hereditary relic unless a court finds proven misuse, or the family voluntarily transfers custody.
Which rarely happens. Sometimes, families will lend their relics in time of need.
Usually, that happens with relics that aid in healing.
But relics that are truly powerful and could shift the way of the world?
Those are kept secret, hidden in vaults or implanted under skin. ”
“I didn’t know that. The Right of Quiet Possession,” he repeated.
Of course he didn’t. But he could recognize any lattice and probably knew how to make them too.
“If I tell you why Matteo and I left the academy, will you tell me who taught you about lattices?”
“I will. When I remember.”
She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “You remember how a Quietus Net is made, but you don’t remember who taught you?”
“My memories are... in fragments. I know the things that I know, but I can’t put my finger on when I started knowing them, or how.”
Seraphina’s hand shot up to touch his cheek, but he was faster. He gripped her wrist and tucked her hand back against her chest, holding it there. She could feel her heart beating against their interlaced fingers.
“All right,” she said. “Headmaster Wolff sent Matteo to visit his family in Tuscany. The Sarumite Order knows that Matteo’s family owns an apex relic, and the headmaster wanted Matteo to convince his grandmother, who is its keeper, to lend it to the academy.
He thought that if Matteo went in person, his grandmother would relent and give it to her grandson to keep and use.
When the war started, Headmaster Wolff tried to reach out to the few families he knew owned apex relics, so this wasn’t unusual, though people did whisper about him sending his only master weaver away when the Bavarian roads weren’t safe.
Matteo asked me to go with him, and we were given two guards. Hartmann was one of them.”
Seraphina elegantly omitted to tell Rune how excited she’d felt when Matteo had asked her.
She was in love with him, and he was in love with her, despite refusing to touch her beyond holding her hand and chastely kissing her cheek.
In the years they’d been together, she’d doubted him often, but when he told her he wanted his family to meet Seraphina because he was planning on asking for their blessing, she thought she could finally taste it – the consummation of their devotion to each other.
As it turned out, she was the reason Matteo’s mission failed.
The visit was a disaster. Matteo’s grandmother herself told him Seraphina would not be accepted by the family, and that he’d made a mistake choosing to soil his purist name and lineage with a pragmatist woman.
The High Harvester was a pragmatist, the most radical of their time, and many people who followed him in his madness were like him.
In the old woman’s words, Seraphina Bell would one day turn her back on the resistance and join the enemy.
“It didn’t go well,” was what Seraphina chose to tell Rune.
“His family was not understanding, and we were forced to return to Bavaria empty-handed. Our carriage was attacked when we were a day away from Ingolstadt. We weren’t even in enemy territory anymore, but the four men who did it were low-ranking soldiers, self-appointed hunters who were sweeping the roads for relics to bring to the Harvester.
After all, that was how the High Harvester had filled his vaults with apex and greater relics that allowed him to start the war.
He’d stolen them during his military campaigns across Europe. ”
“The High Harvester was in the army?”