Chapter 2
Koa
It was a few hours before I had a chance to check my phone.
We were one week out from the homecoming game, so things were nuts here, and that wasn’t including my normal classes.
In a small town like River Hills, homecoming was bigger than most holidays.
Everyone got involved, not just the kids, and as the head coach and the homecoming advisor, I had a lot of shit to do.
I wasn’t overly surprised to see I had four missed texts from Riot.
My finger brushed over his picture smiling back up at me on my notifications.
It didn’t matter how many times I saw this, it always sent my heart fluttering like the pathetic asshole I was.
I’d caught him at the exact moment he’d gotten his first ever sale on the website I’d set up for him.
He’d fought me so hard over that bullshit, positive that it was a waste of time.
But by then his social media following had already been building, and people all over the county had started coming to his classes.
The site had barely been up for a day before Riot had made his first sale.
He had just turned away from the laptop to look at me, smiling so hard his mouth probably hurt.
His honey-brown eyes were wide and wet with unshed tears.
But that wasn’t why I loved the picture so much.
It was the way he’d turned to me first. How something amazing had just happened and the first person he’d needed to share it with had been me.
And the look on his face—fuck. I knew it was because of the sale, but when I closed my eyes and pictured Riot, he was looking at me like that.
Not because his business was taking off, or Hawk finally said his first word, or Knox got president of the National Honor Society, but because of me.
I shook my head at my own ridiculousness and clicked on the message. What was the world record for the longest unrequited crush in existence? Asking for a friend.
He had reacted to the photo of Cruz and me drinking milkshakes with a heart emoji, and of course the first message was a response to my text.
Husband: Of course. Something specific?
He was asking what he should bring up with Cruz, but I had no idea. He hadn’t talked much after his session, and his therapist had only told me it had been intense.
I answered him before really paying attention to the other messages. One was a picture, but I wanted to get the important stuff out of the way first.
Me: Not sure. But you know how he is. If you push too much, he’ll shut down . . . like a certain someone. Try not to be super obvious.
Out of all the kids, Cruz was the most like Riot. Which was funny because he was the only one Riot hadn’t basically raised since infancy.
I scrolled down to the rest of the texts, grinning at the selfie of Riot with Rain, an art streamer that Wynter loved. Of course Cara had meddled to get her there. Wynter was going to be so jealous.
“Talking to your hubby?” I looked up to see Marissa Carmichael, the other gym teacher at the school and the closest person I had to a friend outside of Riot, wiggling her eyebrows at me. Still, even she didn’t know the truth of it all.
I tried not to flinch at the term. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but whenever someone referred to Riot as my husband, it ripped another hole in my heart, as I knew it would never be real.
Sure, Riot loved me, but he wasn’t in love with me and he never would be.
I had to accept that. And I did. Most of the time.
This whole farce had begun shortly after Riot had gotten custody of Knox, Wynter, Rebel, and Rumor.
My aunt and uncle had been pissed about my decisions regarding USC.
Still were, honestly. Since they’d been at the meeting, I couldn’t avoid telling them the truth like I could everyone else.
They’d kicked me out, leaving me high and dry and floundering.
Riot had welcomed me into the small apartment he’d shared with the kids, but the social worker had made it clear that unless we were married, I couldn’t stay while his custody arrangement was still so fragile.
So he’d told the state we were engaged, and they’d agreed that it was sufficient.
We’d managed to fake it for a while, but once I’d gotten my teaching job and decent insurance, I’d suggested we get married legally so the kids would be covered.
And the rest was history. Riot and I had “tied the knot” almost three years ago now, and knowing it would never be real still hadn’t gotten easier.
But Marissa didn’t know that, so I had to get my shit together. I forced a smile and showed her the picture of Riot with Rain. “He had a surprise guest at his morning class today.”
Marissa wrinkled her nose. “Am I supposed to know who that is?”
“Probably not. She’s a pretty big art streamer.”
“Oh, that’s good then. Your man is really making something of himself.”
Pride swelled in my chest. “He really is.”
“That’s amazing, Koa. Y’all had a real shit hand in life. It’s good to see you guys finally happy.”
This time, my smile was genuine. Despite everything, I was happy.
Maybe this wasn’t where I’d pictured my life going if you’d asked me ten years ago, but I didn’t regret a thing.
Riot would always be the most important thing to me, way more important than any potential NFL career or fancy degree from USC.
“Yeah, it’s about time.”
Marissa laughed. “For real. Anyway, Jake’s going to sneak out and pick up tacos for lunch. Do you want any?”
Jake was the health and driver’s ed teacher. “You know I’ll never say no to tacos.”
“I’ll let him know.”
I waved absently at her as she left my office.
She knew how I liked them, so I wasn’t worried.
I placed my phone down and went back to my work.
The team we were playing this weekend had a really strong defense, so I needed to work on some plays that would utilize our receivers and the quarterback’s arm more.
I turned my focus to the plays and got lost in that until it was time to teach my next class.
I was exhausted by the time I dragged my ass up the front steps and into the house a little after seven.
A homecoming committee meeting followed by practice after working all day had left me exhausted, and I hadn’t even been the one on the field.
I was also starving. I wasn’t sure what Riot had made for dinner, but whatever it was, I was looking forward to it.
As soon as I opened the front door, I was sucked into chaos, a typical occurrence here.
You would think it would overwhelm me after a long day, but it was the opposite.
I reveled in the mayhem because it meant everyone was happy and healthy.
It was a reminder of how far all these kids had come and that they were not only surviving under my and Riot’s care, but thriving.
For two kids who’d had no fucking clue what we were doing, we hadn’t done too badly for ourselves.
“Koa!” I hadn’t even kicked off my shoes or put down my bag before Rumor was literally leaping off the back of the couch and bounding toward me. “Can you team up with me on Smash Brothers? Bel is kicking my butt.”
I laughed, ruffling Rumor’s dark hair. It was the same texture as Riot’s—and most of the siblings’—dark, silky, straight locks that were impossible to style. Luckily, both Rue and Bel were okay with keeping their hair on the shorter side, so we didn’t have to fuss with it much.
“I gotta eat something, bud, and talk to Riot. But if you challenge him to a rematch over the weekend, I’ll team up with you.” Even together, Bel would likely kick our asses. That kid was unstoppable, but at least it was close when we both took him on.
“Okay!” He spun away and screamed way louder than necessary since Bel was sitting right there on the couch and had probably heard everything, “Rematch over the weekend and Koa’s gonna help me beat you down.”
“I’ll still win,” Bel said in that quiet, understated way of his. He turned just enough to wave at me before going back to the game.
“How was school?” I asked the twins, trying to get something out of them besides video game smack talk.
Bel shrugged while Rue made a face. “Boring. I only like gym, but today was STEM.”
“STEM’s okay,” Bel added. “Better than the library.”
“True. Reading is soooooo boring,” Rue said dramatically, throwing himself back on the couch.
“Hey, you’re talking to a teacher here, kid.”
“You’re a gym teacher. The good kind. You don’t count.”
“Well, tell that to my college loans and all the hours I spent studying for my license.”
I could hear Riot in the kitchen. He was singing off-key to a Linkin Park song. I smiled softly to myself, remembering many nights listening to Hybrid Theory on my iPod with Riot, sharing the same headphones.
Before I went to see him, I first walked to where Hawk was sitting on the floor, setting up his planes and cars to play. He was right next to the couch, practically touching Bel, and didn’t have his headphones on.
I smiled as I squatted down in front of him.
“Hey, Hawk. Whatcha doing?”
He made the sign for “play.” “You’re playing with your planes?”
A nod. “Did you have fun at school today?” He was in pre-K.
Another nod. He went back to playing. I wasn’t going to get more from him, but it was still a huge improvement from just a few months ago.
He still might rarely use words, but at least he was communicating.
Ri and I had had long talks about it, but after hours and hours of research and going down more rabbit holes than I’d ever admit to, we’d decided we weren’t going to push Hawk to speak verbally.
He was making major improvements using sign and we were so fucking proud of him.
“Where is everyone else?” I asked the twins.