Chapter 3
Riot
“Can I go with Melodie to get ice cream and then go sit with her on the top bleachers?” I looked up from where I was busy bundling up Storm to Wynter.
“Yeah, go ahead. But don’t go farther than the concessions stand, Wyn. And make sure you text me if you go anywhere else besides that and the bleachers. Alright?”
Wyn pursed her lips. “You don’t make Knox text you every time he goes somewhere.”
“Yes, he does. Besides, I’m almost eighteen.
You’re only thirteen. There’s a difference,” Knox chimed in.
I’d been surprised when he’d said he was coming with us to the homecoming game rather than going with his friends.
I’d tried pushing it, but he’d said that he wanted some family time and that I needed the help anyway, so I should just say thank you instead of prying.
Honestly, he hadn’t been wrong. Taking seven kids to a football game by yourself was not easy.
I’d considered getting a babysitter for Hawk and Storm, but Hawk had wanted to see Papa coach, and it hadn’t seemed worth paying someone just for Storm.
So here we all were, taking up the entire first bleacher and getting dirty looks from all the parents of the players because they hadn’t gotten the prime real estate. Perks of being married to the coach.
“You agree to my terms, Wynter? Or you can stay here and sit with your family. I can make space right in between Cruz and Bel.” That got her sputtering in audacity.
“Fiiine. No farther than the concession stand, and I’ll text you if we leave the area.”
“Thank you, Wyn.”
“Yeah, yeah. See you later!”
Then she was off. I followed her with my eyes until she met up with Melodie.
Assured that she was okay, I sat down with Storm on my lap.
Hawk was next to me, noise-cancelling headphones on and airplanes firmly in his hand, followed by Cruz and then the twins, the three of them already stuffing their faces with hot dogs and soft pretzels.
Knox took the seat on the other side of Rue.
He pulled his phone out, texting rapidly.
I was dying to know who he was talking to.
Neither Koa nor I could get any details about his date with Sam last week, and they hadn’t seen each other since, so I didn’t know if it had gone badly or they were just busy.
Would Sam be here tonight? He didn’t go to the same school, but it was a popular enough event that people from nearby towns came to it as well.
I wouldn’t get any answers now, not as the stadium filled and Knox was four kids away from me.
I turned my attention to the field, where Koa was currently running warm-ups.
It was a chilly night, so he was wearing his Spartans Football jacket and a beanie over his dark, short curls.
He was right at home standing on the sidelines, a playbook in his hand as he watched every single move his team made.
His assistant coach stood next to him, practically shoulder to shoulder, and was saying something to Koa, but I couldn’t make out the words.
Then the warm-ups were finished up, and the team started to leave the field to get ready for their big entrance. Before he followed, Koa turned toward the stands, just like he always did. He knew right where to look, right where I’d be. Our eyes met.
Koa smiled, his special one that was only reserved for us, for his family.
And like every single other time before, Koa put his hand to his chest, right above his heart.
Our special greeting, the one he’d been giving me since he’d been the star player and I’d been the loser in the stands that everyone whispered about behind my back.
I grinned, waving like a fool. “Stormy, say hi to Papa. He’s about to go to work.”
Stormy looked up from where he was sucking on a pretzel. “Papa! Hi!”
The other boys all noticed Koa then, too, and began screaming and bouncing up and down like mad. Even Hawk was waving and signing, “Hi, Papa!” Koa laughed and waved to all of them before hurrying to catch up with the rest of the team.
“Papa play?” Storm asked once the field was empty and the cheerleaders came out, ready to hype everyone up.
“Papa coach,” I corrected gently, that conflicting pang of guilt and utter joy hitting that I always felt whenever Koa’s job was brought up.
How could I simultaneously hate everything that had been taken from Koa while also being so happy he was here with me, with us.
As fucking awful and selfish as it sounded, I didn’t think I would’ve survived without my best friend, especially in those early years.
If Koa had gone to USC, I never would have begrudged him for that.
Fuck, I’d cried harder than he had when he’d told me they’d revoked his scholarship.
But I also knew for a fact I’d never be where I was now.
We’d probably still be in that shitty apartment while I worked three to four jobs while CPS was breathing down my fucking neck.
Everything that I had, everything that our family had become was because of Koa.
I owed him everything, and I wished I were a better person, one who wasn’t secretly happy that his best friend’s dreams had gone up in smoke, but I wasn’t.
I guessed even under the pretty exterior I’d managed to build these last seven years, I was still a piece of shit and always would be.
Halftime.
The Spartans were up 10-7, the game a defensive battle so far. Koa and the boys were giving it everything, but this team was our biggest rival, and it was always a close one, a tough fight for every yard until the very end.
I was standing in line at the concessions when the homecoming court was being announced.
It was a big deal to the kids involved—Koa had even been nominated for homecoming king once back in his glory days—but for me it was the time to regroup, change Storm’s diaper, get food, text Koa silly and encouraging GIFs, and to give the kids a chance to run around.
Rue, Bel, and Cruz were all on the playground on the other side of the field.
Wynter and her friend Melodie were over there as well, sitting on the swings and talking.
I could easily see them from here, but Melodie’s parents were also keeping an eye on the kids for me, which I was grateful for.
I had a firm grip on Hawk’s hand while Knox stood next to me, holding a sleepy and overstimulated Storm.
Knox wasn’t talking, a frown on his face while he stared at his phone. “So . . . ” I started off casually. “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”
Knox nearly jumped out of his skin, shocked, like he’d forgotten that I was standing right next to him.
“What are you talking about?”
Knox had the same olive tone to his skin that most of us had and a similar facial structure to me.
He had Mom’s blue eyes, though, the only one of us with her as a parent to get them.
We had a similar lanky build, but even at seventeen, Knox had about two inches on me.
He’d gotten his height from his father. I could count on one hand the number of times I had seen his dad in my lifetime, but I did remember that he was tall and huge and had loved to use that to his advantage.
He’d stopped showing up one day and hadn’t been around since.
Jeez, where had that come from? I pushed the less than pleasant memory aside to focus on Knox and whatever the hell was going on with him.
“Oh, c’mon. I’m not stupid. You’ve been glaring at your phone all night. What’s up?”
We finally moved up the line some. Apparently, everyone wanted a damn snack.
“It’s no big deal. Just some stupid shit that Sam said.”
I tried to stay calm, casual, and to not think shitty things about a teenager.
“Anything I should be concerned about?”
Knox deserved his privacy and a chance to work out shit by himself, but there were certain things I couldn’t just let go, and the overprotective big brother/parental figure in me was rearing.
My dynamic with Knox had always been the toughest to navigate.
He was the closest to me in age and had already turned ten when I’d finally gotten us out of that shithole.
While Wynter had some memories of that time, Knox remembered everything.
I’d done my best to protect and shield him from the worst of it, but it hadn’t always been possible.
I thought most of the time he still saw me as his big brother and not the father the younger ones did, which I understood, but it made things like this, when I was worried for him, difficult.
“No. He just doesn’t get it. He’s a rich kid with a happy home life.
His dad is a lawyer, his mom a doctor. They have family dinner every Sunday, and his mom still bakes a cake for him and his sister every birthday.
Normal family shit, you know?” I knew where this was probably going.
It was why Koa had been my only friend growing up, because most kids were little shits.
“I don’t think he even realized he was being an asshole, but when I called him out on it, he got pissed.
Said I was being too sensitive and has been going off on me since.
Anyway, it’s fine. I’m not gonna see the jerk again anyway. ”
Fuck, I hated this. I hated knowing that even now, even after working my ass off to give the kids a good life, a chance at a normal childhood, they’d still been affected negatively by our parents.
They were always going to have this stigma about them, and no matter how hard I tried, how much money we got, and how much stability we offered, it would never be enough.
“I’m sorry, man. That sucks.”
Knox shrugged. “I’m used to it. Besides, I knew things were never gonna work between us. He thinks Batman is the greatest superhero of all time.”
I snorted. Knox had very strong feelings on Batman. “Oh yeah, that’s a deal breaker for sure,” I teased.
Knox rolled his eyes and knocked his shoulder into me playfully. Stormy had fully fallen asleep, so Knox adjusted him so he was more comfortable.
“You know you can always come to me if you need to talk, right? About anything? Koa too.”
Knox smiled then, the first genuine one I’d seen in days. “Yeah, I know. Thanks, Riot.”
“You don’t gotta thank me for that.”
Knox didn’t get a chance to answer, as it was finally our turn.
The next few minutes were spent ordering food, gathering the kids from the playground, and getting back to the bleachers in time for the second half.
Once again, Koa found us right before the 3rd quarter started and waved before pressing his hand to his heart.
I didn’t know why I did it, I never had before, but something possessed me to return the gesture.
Koa was far enough away and partially obscured by the bright stadium lights and thirty football players, so I couldn’t be sure, but for a split second, I could’ve sworn I saw Koa’s face drop.
It happened so quickly that I blinked and then Koa was all smiles, blowing kisses to tease the boys before turning back to his team.
Still, I could only think about that look on his face.
I had to be imagining it, right? There was no reason for Koa to seem so heartbroken.