Chapter 15 Koa
Koa
“I don’t fucking get it, Wynter! Why the fuck would you go alone to see that asshole? He tried to fucking kill you! Almost killed Riot. Or did you fucking forget?”
I winced as I heard Knox’s screaming before I even had the door fully open.
When I’d finally had a chance to check my phone at practice, I’d had three voicemails and six text messages from Riot and another few from Knox.
At first, I’d thought something had happened to Cara, but then I’d listened to one of the messages.
I’d left the rest of the practice in the hands of my assistant coach and gotten the fuck out of there.
“Knox,” Riot said quietly. He sounded fucking stressed and maybe like he had been crying. “You’re not helping.”
“I just don’t get it! What was going through your damn head?”
“I don’t know, okay? He’s my dad! I just wanted to see him!” Wynter shouted back.
I closed and locked the front door and kicked off my shoes. The rest of the house was conspicuously quiet. Where were the boys? I turned into the kitchen, where all the shouting was coming from.
“Knox, please. Maybe you should step out?” Riot suggested tiredly.
He was sitting on one of the barstools, his hands on his head.
His shoulders were slumped, the circles under his eyes, which had been dark since Cara had gotten sick, even darker somehow.
He saw me come in and met my eyes. He had definitely been crying.
“No, fuck that!” Knox snapped. He was standing in the middle of the kitchen, about a foot away from Wynter.
She was leaning against the counter, closer to Riot, with her arms around herself protectively.
She was also crying. “I carried you, on my fucking back, through our entire neighborhood, all the way to Koa’s house to get help while Riot got his literal shit kicked in!
I was eight years old! Eight. Because of that man!
” Knox swung his hand out to the side. “I guess it’s one thing to text him or whatever, but you lied to Riot, left school early, and got on a fucking bus to meet him at a shady McDonald’s. Please make it make sense!”
Wynter flinched. “Knox,” I started to intercede, but Wynter cut me off.
“He was sick! He got better! Well, he said he did. That he did his time. Are we supposed to never forgive someone? Koa broke Dad’s arm that day, but no one seems to care about that.
You’re so worried about violence, yet we were moved right in with him and no one asked me how I felt about it.
He’s not our family. Not my father! Nothing. ”
I staggered back like I had been shot. Even Knox stopped, jaw to the floor.
“Wynter,” Riot snapped, standing out of his chair.
“Enough. I get why you would want to see Aren. I do. We all at one point hoped that Mom would get better and be a normal mom to us. All the other shit aside, that I understand. But you have no right to talk to Koa like that. He’s been raising you since you were younger than the twins.
He saved me that day. Knox wasn’t exaggerating when he said I almost died.
I would’ve if he hadn’t shown up when he did. ”
“Whatever. I screwed up, alright? I should’ve never met up with him.
I was wrong, and he’s just like Mom and will never change.
Is that what you wanna hear?” She looked at Knox.
“Sorry that I wanted a chance at a normal family with a real parent. You might not care if everyone calls you a freak, but I do. I’m going downstairs. ”
Wynter stormed past, brushing against my shoulder, but didn’t say a word. I knew there was something I should be doing, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I stood, shaking as Wynter’s footsteps echoed down the hall, then the door to the basement opened and slammed.
I slumped against the wall, unsure if my legs could even hold me anymore, until Riot was there. His arms wrapped around me, and I followed suit, and we just held each other in the kitchen, feeling lost.
“I’m so sorry, babe. She didn’t mean anything by it,” Riot whispered, almost sounding desperate. Like what? I was going to run off because our teenager had said something mean? I’d been an angry thirteen-year-old once. It might’ve hurt, a lot, but I got it. Emotions were high.
I didn’t have any words right now, so I just kissed the top of his head.
“Well shit,” Knox said after a minute.
Riot turned around to glare at his brother. “You didn’t fucking help,” he accused.
Knox scrubbed his face. He looked older than his nearly eighteen years, tired.
“Yeah, I know. I just got really pissed. I don’t get it.”
Riot leaned into me, his back against my front.
“She was young, Knox, when all that shit went down. All she knew was what we told her. I read the texts Aren sent to her. He said I misunderstood what happened. That he never tried to hurt her and yeah, he lost it on me, but that was when he was sick, blah blah blah. She wanted to believe it, and I don’t blame her for that.
You know what it’s like to hope they get better, that maybe this time they won’t let you down. ”
Knox shrugged. “Not really. I mean, maybe when I was really little. But Ri, I never really gave a crap about them, besides hoping they wouldn’t be around.
‘Cause you were there. Every good memory I have, it was with you. Every time I was sick, you took care of me. You took me to school, gave me baths, made sure I had clean clothes, even if you had to wash them in the convenience store bathroom, and that I ate, even if you went hungry. You taught me how to read and held me when I had nightmares. It was always you. So no, I never really hoped Mom would get better or any of the shitbags would stop being shitbags. I just wanted them to go away. And then they finally did because you got real custody of us. So honestly, I’m sorry if I made things worse for you, but I was really fucking pissed. Still am.”
Riot sank back into my hold. I didn’t need to look at him to know he was crying.
“Knox—” His voice broke.
Knox shrugged. His eyes were wet too, but he was trying to brush it off. “Try not to get all sappy on me about it, alright?”
Riot laughed wetly. “Can’t really promise that. But I’ll try.”
Knox met my eyes then. “Since you met Ri, you’ve been like another brother to me. You didn’t need to be part of our chaos, but you willingly chose us. Wyn’s upset, but all of us love you and are glad you’re part of our lives. For real.”
“T-thanks, Knox. That means a lot. I’m glad to be part of your lives too.”
Knox looked away. “Alright. Enough emotions. I’m gonna go check on the boys. I know y’all need a minute.”
Knox left the room, and Riot turned toward me. “Where are the boys?” I asked.
“Upstairs. And probably listening to every word with how quiet they’ve been.”
“How are you?” I inquired gently.
“Not good. You?”
I chuckled darkly. “Same.”
“Ugh. I’m spiraling, Koa. I know I have to go talk to her, but I don’t even know what to say or do at this point.”
“Let me go. Clearly, we have a few things to discuss. You need a break. Knox has got the kids for a bit. Why don’t you take a bath?”
Riot’s nose wrinkled. “I don’t think I’ve taken a bath in my whole life.”
I kissed his hair. “Well, now’s a good time to start.”
He didn’t look convinced. “I don’t know. I should talk to the boys at least, make sure they’re okay. Storm and Hawk need their baths, and the older boys never had a chance to do their homework, and . . .”
I quieted his rambling with a kiss. A real one this time. “Later, baby. It can all wait until later. Go take a bath. Or read a book. Whatever. Let us handle things for a little while.”
“If you’re sure?”
“I am. Go. I got this.”
Riot squeezed me tightly. “Koa—” His voice caught, rough with emotion.
“I know, sweetheart. I know.”
Riot reluctantly pulled back and wiped his face. “Fuck, I’m a mess. Maybe I really do need to try this whole bath thing.”
I smiled. “See?”
He started to leave the kitchen and then looked at me over his shoulder, mischief burning in his eyes. “Or . . . I can spend some time with my close personal friends, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. I’ve always wanted to go to a cottage.”
I clasped my chest in outrage. “Don’t you dare watch the season finale without me, Riot St. James.”
I could hear his laughter even as he climbed the steps. Hearing him display any joy during all this made it impossible for me to be annoyed at him.
It took me longer than I’d like to admit to finally get the courage to leave the kitchen and head to Wynter’s room. We had to talk. I didn’t want to leave things to fester, but it would be a lie to say that what she’d said didn’t hurt.
I loved these kids so fucking much. They were mine as much as they were Riot’s, even if we didn’t share blood. To think that maybe even a small part of her didn’t want me around or felt I’d been forced into her life, it was a gut punch.
“Okay, Ko, get your ass in gear. It’s time to suck it up and be the adult here.”
I left the kitchen. The basement door was still closed, but thankfully she hadn’t gone as far as to lock it. I opened it and climbed down a couple of steps before calling, “Wyn?”
There was no answer.
I continued down into Wynter and Knox’s shared gaming/living room area.
They had our old sectional down here, two of the oversized beanbags, and a small table set up if they had friends over and wanted to play games.
The TV was mounted to the wall, and they had gaming systems and access to streaming services.
It was a pretty sweet setup and it was empty now, so Wynter must be in her room. The door to that was closed, too.
I knocked.
Nothing.
“Wyn, it’s Koa. Can I come in please?”
I heard a heavy sigh, but then nothing.
“Wynter, c’mon. I will have this whole conversation with you through a door, but it would be a whole lot easier if you let me in.”
I thought she was going to ignore me again, but finally I heard, “Fine. Come in, I guess.”