Chapter 16 Riot
Riot
Relaxing was overrated. How the hell was I supposed to just sit there when the world was crumbling down around me?
The water was steaming as it filled the tub. Shit, was it too hot? I dipped my fingers in and oww! Oh goddamn, way too hot. I quickly turned the faucet colder. I filled baths every fucking day, so how had I suddenly forgotten how to do this shit?
I paced the bathroom impatiently, waiting for it to fill.
This was a terrible idea. How was I supposed to rest?
The boys were probably so confused. I should check on them at least. And I hadn’t gotten any clothes out for tomorrow.
No lunches had been made. Homework needed to be checked.
I had to call my lawyer about Aren, and maybe the schools to confirm he was on the no pick up list in case he decided to show up again.
I should also call the hospital for an update on Cara. They were supposed to call if anything changed, but I always liked to double-check.
I shut off the water once it seemed filled enough and dipped my fingers back in to check the temperature. Fuck, was it too cold now? Whatever. I stripped out of my clothes and threw them in the hamper we kept in the corner. Then I climbed in.
I sat awkwardly in the middle of the tub, waiting for this magical calm to fill me. Why did so many people love baths? Nothing about this soothed me. They were all full of shit. A bunch of bath propaganda, because this was just awkward.
Bubbles! Storm only loved baths with bubbles. Maybe that was what was missing? Yeah, that had to be it. I felt so . . . exposed like this. I climbed out, wincing at the amount of water that puddled on the floor. It’s fine, Riot. That’s what towels are for.
I rummaged under the sink and found some bubble bath. I drained a little of the water so it wouldn’t overflow and then turned it back on to add the soap. I stood, dripping and shivering, staring into the tub as it refilled.
There. That was better.
I stepped back in and sat. Fuck, why was it so cold?
The bubbles smelled like cotton candy. Which, I guessed was my fault for using something meant for a toddler. The scent was so damn strong though. It was like I was at a fucking carnival. Oh god, I was going to smell like cotton candy, wasn’t I? Great look for a grown ass man.
Relax, Riot. You got this. I forced myself to lean back against the cold ass tub and close my eyes.
Rest. Stop worrying. It’ll be fine.
Except, how could it be? I’d never seen Wynter so upset in my life.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her sitting there alone in that McDonald’s, crying and scared.
And then the things she’d said after . .
. It had been the right call for Koa to talk to her.
They clearly had shit to work out, but it didn’t stop me from feeling guilty about giving him that responsibility.
Even after all these years, sometimes I still forgot I wasn’t alone in this.
“Fuck this,” I mumbled after five minutes.
I climbed out, grabbed a towel, and pulled the drain.
I’d tell Koa I tried. That should be enough.
I’d get dressed, check on the boys, and then go back downstairs.
I wouldn’t interrupt Koa and Wynter, but I could discreetly check on them. Just to, you know, see.
Of all the things that had happened today, the shit Wynter had said to Koa had me the most shaken.
I dried off and left the bathroom without even glancing at the mirror. I did not need to know what I looked like. I could only imagine. Whatever, the crazed artist aesthetic was a vibe.
I put my underwear on and an old pair of Koa’s sweatpants.
They were too big, but they were soft and warm and were much better than any of my clothes.
I paired them with my favorite Spartan’s football shirt.
Koa’s old one from his first year coaching.
I buried my nose in it. It didn’t matter how many times it had been washed or I’d worn it, it still smelled like Koa and no one could tell me differently.
I checked my phone in case the hospital had called—they hadn’t—then opened my bedroom door to check in with everyone.
“Where are you going?”
Koa raised an eyebrow at me but couldn’t completely hide his amusement.
I ignored his comment, too busy scanning every inch of him, trying to gauge how he was feeling.
He was tired, drained, but a lot of the tension from earlier was gone. His face was a little puffy, like he had been crying, but I didn’t think that was necessarily a bad thing.
I grabbed his hands. “How are you?”
Koa’s eyes darkened, his expression changing to something deeper, more intense. He crowded into me, cupping my face as he back-walked me into the room.
He kicked the door closed.
My knees hit the edge of the bed. Koa gently pushed me back so I was sitting down and then straddled me, kissing me hard. Once, twice, three times before pulling back. “I need you so fucking much, Ri.”
“I’m right here.” I ran my hands up and down his sides.
“Can I touch you? I need to feel your skin.”
I nodded, unsure of exactly what was happening but happy to give Koa whatever he needed.
This was a huge moment, I was sure of that, but I couldn’t quite grasp why. But the way he was staring at me, his hands on my face, so fucking vulnerable, this meant something that I was struggling to understand.
His hands slid under my shirt, up my sides.
“Babe, what’s going on?” I asked gently, thumbs tracing lines across his face. “Wynter—”
Koa’s head dropped forward onto my shoulder. “Wynter’s fine. Or, she will be. We really needed that talk, and I think it helped a lot. This is—fuck. This isn’t about that. It’s you. I— God, Riot, I don’t think I could ever put into words how I feel about you.”
I swallowed, feeling choked up. “You don’t have to.”
“Just, um, hold me?”
Fuck. “Y-yeah.” I fell back so I was lying down, taking Koa with me. He was largely on top of me, his weight nearly crushing, but I wrapped my legs around his middle before he could move off me.
“I’m crushing you, baby.”
“No, it’s perfect. Stay. I need this as much as you do.”
“Fuck.” Koa’s lips brushed against my neck. Lightly at first. I shivered, tilting my head back, giving more access. He kissed down with a little more pressure, sucking gently.
“Is this okay?” he asked huskily.
“Yes. God, Ko. More.”
Teeth nipped into my skin. “You taste so good.”
I laughed. “I probably taste like artificial cotton candy.”
“I was wondering about that smell.”
I slapped his shoulder playfully. “It was your idea for me to take a damn bath. Shut up and keep kissing me.”
“Any time.”
I went offline as Koa’s lips moved up my throat, over my jawline. His tongue traced the edge of my ear.
“Ohhh . . .” My legs fell to the side, and Koa shifted so he was straddling my waist, his arms planted on either side of my head.
He kissed me, pecking my lips quickly before pulling up enough to look me in the eyes.
“Tell me what you want, sweetheart.”
God, what a fucking question. There was no way I could answer that even if I wanted to.
“I don’t know. You. I want to be close right now. I feel like no matter how close you are, it’s not enough. Is that weird?”
“No, baby. I’d live inside your skin if I could.” Koa paused, licking his bottom lip as he gathered his thoughts. “Is it still okay for me to touch you?”
I swallowed, trying to tame the tremor that ran through my body involuntarily. “Yes.”
I cupped his face, letting every emotion and vulnerability shine through. I couldn’t begin to express how I felt, except that this was significant.
“Yes, please, Ko. Touch me.”
“Fuck.” His lips trembled with need. “If anything makes you uncomfortable, just tell me to stop.”
“I know. I trust you, Koa. Always.”
“God, baby.” Koa shimmied down so he was lying flat between my legs, his head resting on my upper thigh. His hands slid up my shirt, caressing up my sides slowly, then across my chest, fingers grazing across my nipples.
My hands found their way into Koa’s hair. It wasn’t long enough to curl them in, but I massaged his scalp, wishing I had a little something to grip.
Koa pushed my shirt up, exposing my stomach. He kissed my hip bone.
“Can I take your shirt off?” Koa asked softly.
I nodded and sat up enough so that he could pull it over my head. He tossed it to the side, letting it fall to the floor in a heap. Koa’s head rested against my stomach. He kissed my belly button.
I ran my hands down his shoulders. “Can you take yours off too?”
“Of course.”
Koa knelt, shedding his shirt and tossing it next to mine. I took a moment to look at him, really look at him.
I’d seen Koa shirtless thousands of times.
Touched his soft, tan skin, traced his tattoos, even slept with my head nestled in the patch of hair on his chest. I was trying to see him in a new light.
I loved kissing Koa. It was a comfort I never expected.
And I was curious to know what more felt like, especially if Koa kept looking at me like that, like I was his fucking world.
I drank him in, eyes trailing down his defined pecs all the way to the treasure trail that climbed below his waistband.
“C’mere. I want to touch you too, if that’s okay?”
Koa’s lips tilted up in a crooked grin. “Definitely okay.”
He crawled up and fell to the side so I had better access, his legs still entangled with mine.
It would be easy to get lost in my head. My sexuality was something so far down the list of things I thought about. I’d always found Koa attractive because duh, I had eyes, but I loved Koa for so many reasons, and him being hot barely hit the radar.
And sex. It was never something I thought about, nothing I ever felt I truly needed. But if Koa wanted it? I was happy to explore. Though, was this even about sex? All I knew was that I wanted to touch Koa. That I wanted to feel his skin on mine.
I leaned in, kissing his pec.
Koa’s hands rubbed up and down my sides, his fingers dipping down below my waistband. He raised an eyebrow, a silent question, asking if I was okay.
I smiled softly. “Yes.”
“Perfect.”
Koa buried his face in my stomach, sucking a mark on the sensitive part of my skin between my hip and belly button. His hands sunk lower down my sweatpants, over my underwear.
“Please, Koa,” I begged, palming his chest.
“What, baby? Tell me what you want.”
“Touch me.”
“I am touching you.” He squeezed my upper thigh.
“Fuck, Koa. You know what I fucking mean.”
He kissed my jaw. “I don’t think I do. I need you to be specific, sweetheart. You’ve never asked me to touch you before.”
“I—fuck. Touch my cock. I want to know what it feels like to have your hand on me. Please.”
“As long as you’re sure. I didn’t know if you, um, liked sex.” He shifted uncomfortably, which was weird because we talked about everything.
“It may not be something I need regularly or ever, but I’m not adverse. I’m very sure I want you to touch my cock right now. Koa, for fuck’s sake!”
He laughed, kissing the side of my face again before pushing both my sweats and underwear down in one move. My dick was semi-hard.
“Holy hell, Riot. You’re uncut?” We’ve been naked around each other before, obviously, but I guess he had been careful not to really look before now.
I shrugged. “Yeah. Is that okay?”
“Um, yes. More than okay.”
Koa spit on his hand then brought it to my dick.
His grip was tight as he began to jerk me off. His other hand cupped my balls.
“Oh, hell. Fuck, babe. That feels so good.”
Koa grinned. “Yeah? Is this the first time someone’s touched your cock?”
“Y-you—shit—you know it is.”
Koa pushed back my foreskin and ran his thumb over my tip.
“Ahh! Oh fuck, Koa.”
“Look how hard you are. Is that for me?”
I felt like I was going to black out. I hadn’t jerked off much, and it usually took a while for it to happen, but somehow a little bit of spit and Koa’s hand made all the difference.
“Koa, I’m gonna come.”
He kissed my shoulder. “Come for me, baby.”
I arched back as I exploded with the hardest orgasm I’d ever had. “Koa, fuck.
Koa’s hand still worked me, draining every last drop. His free one gripped my chin, tilting my head up toward his so he could capture a kiss.
“Fucking amazing, sweetheart. So, so good.”
“Koa,” I whimpered. He slowed down, gently working me until I was on the verge of being overstimulated. Then he was on top of me again, kissing me. I could feel his hard cock slide against me, even through his clothes.
He kissed me again, making me fucking breathless.
“Do you want me to?” I managed to get out when he finally pulled back. I looked down at his cock.
He kissed my chin. “No, this was for you, sweetheart. I’m good.”
I frowned. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. I’ve been wanting to do that for more years than I can remember.”
I frowned, tracing his cheek with my fingers. “Ko—”
“Shhh. Let’s not worry about that now. Too many big emotional conversations today as it is. Let’s get cleaned up and figure out something to eat for everyone.”
Koa took my hand, and I let him lead me to the bathroom. I was feeling shell-shocked. Torn somewhere between blissed out and confused. I could barely comprehend what had happened, but one thing I was sure of was that I didn’t regret it.