Things Left Unsaid

Brixton

brIXTON

Now

They arrive at the housewarming party at 10 P.M. The Edwardian house sits squarely between and Herne Hill stations. Shirin Bayat does not particularly like going to because she feels complicit in the jarring, and ever-increasing, gentrification each time she is in the area. And that is likely because she is. She begrudgingly enjoys the overpriced coffee shops, with their excessive number of plants, millennial-pink sofas, and rose-gold accents, spending money on various vegan dishes that even she can make at home for a fraction of the price. Every so often, to alleviate her guilt, she will go to the shops and restaurants that have been there long before the gentrification began, and she will buy something she might not even want. It never quite clears her conscience though.

There are clusters of people in the living room, some sitting on the three-seater sofa, others standing. The interior of the house could be sponsored by Ikea, the furniture white and familiar. There is a Malm dresser in the living room, and she is reminded of making said dresser many years ago and it eventually crumbling, the drawers breaking one by one. She remembers the many ways she tried to fix it because she couldn’t afford another one, until in a fit of frustration she threw the planks of wood down the chute outside her East London flat.

Millie leads Shirin straight to the living room, like she has been here before, and kisses her boyfriend Henry on the lips in greeting. Millie is wearing red lipstick, and he rubs his lips after they kiss, to remove the stain. Millie has been with Henry coming up on two years now. Shirin dislikes Henry and tries to avoid all gatherings he attends. It is difficult to be around them because Henry critiques most of what Millie does, due to his own sad insecurities. He has an air about him as though he is better than his girlfriend, although Shirin is not sure where his inflated ego derives from. He is the type to go on Twitter and reply to women’s tweets that what they’re saying did not happen, with his profile picture as an anime character. He will encourage debates about race or sexism, playing “devil’s advocate,” though she suspects he believes the racist, sexist side. He is not quite an online troll but almost, teetering on the edge of what is acceptable, though Millie cannot see this side of him. She is, sadly, too far gone.

When they first got together, Henry had sent Millie a dick pic, which she had shared with both Shirin and their friend Hana, not knowing that he would soon become a long-term fixture in her life. It is something Shirin and Hana bring up between themselves every so often, mostly to justify why Millie is with such a man.

Millie returns to Shirin’s side, looking off toward the connecting kitchen, and says, “That’s one of Dylan’s housemates. I’ll introduce you.” She lightly touches the top of Shirin’s arm before leading her toward the other side of the room.

Indeed, Shirin has gone to a housewarming party for people she does not even know. She found herself with nothing to do on a Friday night—an ever-increasing problem as she ages—and Millie reassured her that more was merrier, that it would be fun. The final push came when Millie added, “You should have just stayed in Hull if you don’t ever want to leave your flat.” Millie always knew the precise words to fire Shirin up and make her do something she didn’t want to do—it was always like that at university, and Millie has only got better at it once her friend graduated and progressed in her career in public relations.

And that is how Shirin found herself here.

The man Shirin is being taken to meet has dark hair, short on the back and sides and long at the front. His shoulders are broad, his waist slender, and he is tall. Very tall. It is curious that how much space one is able to take up is often seen as attractive in a man, but is seldom the case for women. She can only see him from the back, but he’s wearing a black T-shirt in a soft jersey fabric.

“Kian, hey,” Millie says.

He turns around and then Shirin’s breath catches. There is a painful feeling in her chest, an acute ache, from the surprise. Millie had said that Henry’s friend Dylan was moving into a flat in . She had said that he was moving in with three other boys. What she did not say, though, because of course she didn’t know, was that Shirin and Kian know each other, and haven’t spoken in ten years.