Text Chat
Parker: I’m shooketh
Zee: About?
Parker: Tee told me Colt carried you over the threshold, Zee
Tee: Why are you shooketh? He gives off that vibe
Zee: Have you visited Parker yet, Tee?
Parker: She hasn’t
Parker: She’s trying out agoraphobia too. It’s all the rage in the city. Liam Donnghal’s made it trendy.
Tee: Yeah, yeah
Zee: You haven’t left the apartment?!
Parker: No. She hasn’t
Zee: What about work?
Tee: I decided to call in sick. Jackass Jacobie can’t say no to that.
Parker: He can eventually lol. Doctor’s note, anyone?
Tee: Like you can tattle on me, Miss ‘I haven’t entered a public space since Labor Day three years ago.’
Parker: I’ve been out
Tee: When?
Zee: Where?
Zee: And riding from Ohio to Jersey doesn’t count…
Parker: Two months ago
Zee: *groans*
Zee: How am I the one in an arranged marriage I didn’t ask for and I’m coping the best?
Parker: It’s because you’re our sun
Zee: I am?
Parker: Yup. The center of our universe, Zee.
Tee: I know you’re joking, but I think she was and I didn’t realize it.
Zee: Fuck a duck, Tee, you need to chill out! I got on your nerves a lot
Tee: I miss that *sobs*
Parker: Wow, our girl’s having some kind of episode, huh? You’re awesome, Zee, but the center of my universe? Sheesh.
Parker: Do you want me to send one of the girls over, Tee?
Zee: Not Giulia! She’ll get mad at her.
Parker: True. Being a mom hasn’t increased her patience levels. If anything, she’s more impatient with everyone else and only patient with the demon child. Who knew she’d be worse than ever when she’s pregnant? Lol.
Tee: It’s awful you call a baby that
Parker: Not read much scripture for a sort of Catholic, have you? Samael is a demon’s name.
Tee: They named their kid after a demon?! I thought they misspelled SamUel
Parker: They ride for the Satan’s Sinners’ MC, babe. Do you think they were going to church to get him baptized?
Zee: LOL
Tee: I’d have paid to watch that
Zee: Definite pay-per-view content.
Zee: ROFL
Parker: ;) Think we got our girl smiling?
Zee: I think we did
Tee: Didn’t. *pouts* And yes, I know I’m acting like I’m five! But I didn’t expect this to be so bad. It’s as if my right tit has gone missing.
Parker: Not your right hand?
Zee: Had to be her boob
Zee: SMH
Tee: Excuse me. Both serve a purpose. Even if one of mine is bigger than the other.
Zee: It’s not that bad.
Tee: Sure thang, Ms. Perfect B-cups
Tee: How did I get curves and no tits? It’s not fair
Parker: We have her talking about herself. I think she’s feeling better
Zee: *snorts*
Parker: Lemme guess… You tried to fill the void. Literally. And hooked up with someone last night? You know you get maudlin when you do that, Tee.
Tee: Men suck.
Tee: He said, and wait for it, that because I was fat, he figured I’d have good food in for breakfast.
Zee: WHAT?!
Parker: OMG, what the hell?!
Tee: THANK YOU
Tee: He quoted some baseballer and he stands behind it wholeheartedly.
Parker: The baseballer sounds like a jerk.
Zee: Agreed.
Tee: It didn’t put me and my wonky boobs in a good mood, I can tell you.
Parker: Did you at least get an orgasm out of it?
Tee: Meh. I wanted to feel a connection.
Parker: Were you two having sex and I didn’t realize it?
Zee: No, we weren’t lol. Tee’s being melodramatic.
Parker: I dunno if you can talk about melodrama, Zee. You looked like you were gonna pass out when Colt showed up.
Parker: Here I was, half expecting Quasimodo to walk through the door, and instead he could be featured on GQ.
Parker: IN A STETSON.
Parker: He was giving aftershave ad model
Tee: He was LMAO
Zee: Shut up
Zee: You’d have been petrified too
Parker: I mean, no? He seemed charming. But not like in that creepy way, you know? Genuine. Yeah, that’s the word
Parker: How are things up there?
Zee: Odd
Tee: Why? Is that Ida cow being mean to you?
Zee: Ha. No.
Parker: Firstly, who’s Ida, and why is she a cow?
Zee: She’s the Korhonen’s housekeeper and she isn’t a cow
Tee: You drive over someone’s toe once and they hate you forever!
Parker: Jeez, I wonder why
Tee: Zee was in the car with me
Zee: Yeah, but I wasn’t driving
Tee: You were distracting me
Zee: I can’t argue
Parker: Can’t or won’t?
Zee: I plead the Fifth lol
Parker: Wrong country, haha
Zee: :p
Tee: I’d broken up with Percy Manvers, hadn’t I?
Parker: I didn’t know people called their kids Percy still lol
Zee: Harry Potter can be blamed for a lot of bad names
Parker: Who’d name a kid after Percy Weasley though?
Tee: Someone who’s a seer. He lived up to the name
Parker: You know since this whole marriage thing happened, you two are a lot more interesting than you used to be
Tee: So kind of you to say!
Zee: Yay?
Parker: Honestly, you’re full of surprises
Zee: You know things are bad, Tee, when we’re entertaining the woman who splits her time between the house of an MC Prez and his First Lady and her Old Man’s.
Tee: Don’t blame me!
Tee: You’re the one who started it o.O