Chapter 8 Easton
Easton
It’s almost eleven at night when I shut the laptop with a heavy heart after speaking with Professor Anthony Fox, who was able to give us fifteen minutes of his time.
Rachel slumps back in her chair where we’re sitting at the dining room table, and for a moment, I’m unable to think straight.
Sylvia reaches across the space between us and gives my shoulder a squeeze.
Fuck, this is really happening.
Nova gets up from her seat and walks to Rachel, then crouches beside her chair. She places her hand on Rachel’s arm but doesn’t say anything.
There’s nothing she can say.
After Professor Fox looked at everything we sent and spoke with Rachel’s oncologist, he agreed with the prognosis.
The tumor is too big and impossible to remove surgically.
He suggests we use the time Rachel has left by enjoying it as a family instead of spending it in hospitals and going for treatments that will make little difference to the outcome, if any.
The four of us sit in silence for a few minutes before Sylvia asks, “Is there anything I can do?”
I begin to shake my head but then say, “Cancel the filming. Cancel everything.”
Even though I’m asking for the impossible, she nods. “Don’t worry about work. I’ll see which commitments I can postpone.”
Rachel sucks in a sharp breath, and it has my gaze snapping to her. Staring at the table, her eyebrows draw together. “Oh God. I’m dying.”
Christ.
I shoot up from my chair, and grabbing hold of my sister’s shoulders, I practically yank her to her feet before engulfing her in my arms.
A second later, the realization slams the air from my lungs.
Rachel is dying, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it from happening.
I grip her tighter and bury my face in her hair as a hard tremble shudders through my body.
After everything I’ve done to protect Rachel, I’m going to lose her anyway.
She doesn’t start to cry but just stands numbly in my arms. When I pull back to meet her gaze, it looks like she’s in a daze.
“Rach?” I ask.
Her eyes focus on my face, then she asks, “How am I going to tell Lainey?”
Suddenly, emotion after emotion, everything from horror to panic to devastation, flashes over her features.
This moment right here is easily the most difficult I’ve ever had to endure. But I’ve always been the strong older brother who handled shit, and now is no different.
Lifting my hands, I frame her face and force her to focus on me.
“We’ll tell Lainey together. I’ll explain it to her.
We’ll get through this as a family.” I lean a little closer, and my tone is filled with determination and urgency.
“You are not alone in this, Rach.” She nods while puffs of air burst over her lips.
“I’ll carry you through it.” She nods again, her features morphing into a pleading look. “I’m here.”
Her voice is barely a whisper as she admits, “I’m so scared.”
“I know.” No, I don’t. I have no fucking idea, because I’m not the one dying.
“I’m here with you, Rach. Every step of the way.
” Nova moves, catching my attention, and I quickly add, “And Nova’s here as well.
” I brush my palms over the sides of her face and hair.
“We are going to love you so fucking much to make up for . . .”
Sylvia lets out a sob. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs before rushing out of the dining room.
Rachel crumbles under the weight of her death sentence, and as her body goes limp, I move fast to catch her. I’ve seen my sister cry many times before, but as she breaks in my arms, it obliterates my heart.
I carry her out of the dining room and head for the nearest couch in the living room. Sitting down, I cradle my sister like a baby and try to will every ounce of strength I have to her.
I would swap places with her in a heartbeat.
Nova sits down beside us and begins to rub her hand up and down Rachel’s back.
It takes a good ten minutes before Rachel is able to regain control of her emotions. Looking feverish and trembling badly, she moves off my lap to sit beside me. Nova hurries to the kitchen to grab a chilled bottle of water from the fridge and brings it to Rachel.
We watch as she takes a few sips, then she asks, “Nova, can you bring me my painkillers? My headache is worse from all the crying.”
Nova darts away as if hellhounds are chasing her.
I wrap my arm around Rachel’s shoulders and try to think of something to say, but everything I think of feels horribly lacking for the gravity of the situation we’re facing.
“I love you, Rach.”
She closes her eyes and leans against my side, which has me holding her tighter.
Sylvia comes out of the guest restroom and takes a seat on the other couch across from us. Her face is blotchy from crying, and she gives me a compassionate look.
“I’m so sorry, Rachel,” she says, her voice scratchy.
Not opening her eyes, my sister can only nod.
As Nova comes rushing down the stairs, Sylvia climbs to her feet. “I’m going to head out so I can get to work on clearing your schedule.”
I give her a grateful expression. “Thanks for everything, Sylvia.”
“Just give me a call or shoot me a text if you need anything.”
Once Sylvia leaves, Nova crouches in front of Rachel and shakes two pills out into her palm.
I stare at Nova as she folds her legs beneath her so she can sit at Rachel’s feet.
Except for when she broke down earlier, she’s been a source of strength and comfort.
Rachel looks at her best friend before she once again asks, “How do I tell Lainey? How do I tell my baby girl I’m dying?”
“We’ll sit her down and explain everything to her as a family,” I answer.
Nova tilts her head. “Maybe take a few days for yourself so you can try to process the shock, Rach. You don’t have to tell her today or tomorrow. Right?”
Rachel sits up a bit straighter. “Maybe I can hold off on telling her until the symptoms get worse, and I can’t hide it any longer.”
I nod. “That sounds good.”
“Lainey noticed you cried this morning,” Nova informs us. “I told her you’re happy because Easton and I are here.”
“Shit,” Rachel murmurs. “I’ll have to hide things better around her.” She thinks for a moment, then continues, “I need to get everything in order.” Her gaze flicks between Nova and me. “You’re both Lainey’s godparents. You’ll have to do for her what I can’t once I’m gone.”
Nova nods while I struggle through a wave of heartache that’s making my eyes burn with unshed tears.
I suck in a deep breath, and when I let it out slowly, I know I’ll have to put up the best performance of my life where Rachel is concerned. I have to be stronger than ever so I can one hundred percent be there for her until the end.
Rachel gives me a pleading look. “I don’t want Lainey’s life to change. You’re the only father figure she knows.”
I don’t hesitate to vow, “I’ll continue to raise Lainey as my own, Rach.”
“Even when you one day have kids of your own,” she pleads.
I brush my palm over the area where the tumor is growing. “I promise to give Lainey the best life possible and to love her for both of us.”
She nods before she turns her attention to Nova, who says, “I’ll be there for Lainey the same way you’ve always been there for me. I promise.”
Rachel lets out a sigh that sounds like it was dragged from the depths of her soul. “Thanks, guys.”
A strained smile forms on Nova’s face. “And you can write letters and make videos, which we can give to Lainey so you’re always a part of her life.”
Rachel nods again. “I’ll definitely do that. I’ll start tomorrow and get the letters and videos done as soon as possible.” She lets out an empty-sounding chuckle. “While I still look good.”
“You’ll always be beautiful,” Nova says.
Silence falls around us for a little while, then Rachel climbs to her feet. “The pain meds are making me tired. I’m going to bed.”
Nova also gets up and hugs Rachel. “Good night, Rach. Is it okay if I check in on you during the night? Just to make sure you’re okay.”
“That’s a good idea,” I agree. When it looks like Rachel’s going to argue, I add, “You could start having seizures or experience other symptoms at any time, so Nova and I are going to keep a close eye on you.”
Her shoulders sag, but at least she nods before she heads toward the stairs.
Nova wraps her arms around her middle, staring after Rachel until she’s out of sight before she glances at me and asks, “Can we talk about how we’re going to handle things going forward?
” When I nod, she takes a seat on the other couch across from me.
“We need to bring Rachel’s medication down to the kitchen so it’s in a spot where we can easily get to it. ”
“Okay,” I reply. “I’ll take care of it in the morning.”
Even though I’m tired as fuck, I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to sleep, so I think about everything that needs to be done.
“Rachel has a will, but I’ll have my lawyer check it again,” I mention. “I’ll ask Sylvia to find the best nurse out there who can assist Rachel during her final . . .” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat.
“We should do as many fun things as possible while Rachel is still able to be active,” Nova mentions.
Shaking my head, I let out a humorless chuckle. “My mind went straight to the end. You’re right, we should make the time we still have with her special.”
“If you want to spend time alone with Rachel, just let me know, and I’ll take Lainey out.” An uncomfortable expression flits over her face. “And if you don’t mind, I’d like to have some time with Rachel as well.”
“Of course,” I agree.
“Thank you. I really don’t want to intrude on your time with her, and I know you’re more important, but it would mean the world to me.”
I may be Rachel’s brother, but I know how close she and Nova are. “Rachel loves you very much, Nova. You’re important to her too.”
Her chin quivers, and I watch as she fights her emotions. Her beautiful features strain, but she loses the battle, and a tear spirals down her cheek as she admits with a strained voice, “She’s the only person who loves me.”
Seeing Nova’s pain takes a swing at my already pulverized heart, and my eyes burn again as I struggle to hold back the tears.
She covers her mouth as she sucks in a shuddering breath. “Rachel is my other half, and I’ll do anything for her.”
“She’s the glue that keeps us all together,” I add my thoughts.
Nova wipes the tear from her cheek and glances at the kitchen. After a moment of silence, she says, “I can cook, so I can help prepare meals.”
“You don’t have to. Frances takes care of the household.”
“Oh, right.” She looks awkward for a moment, then gives me a shy smile. “Coffee?”
I slowly nod while trying to force a smile to my face. “Coffee would be really nice right now.”
I watch Nova walk to the kitchen and keep staring at her as she prepares the beverages. Something about the way she moves and the energy she gives off is soothing, and it makes me feel grateful that she’s here.
The fact that Nova is completely different from most of the women in my world really makes me take notice of her. She’s beautiful in an innocent kind of way and seems to be as kind and caring as I remember.
It’s refreshing as fuck, to say the least.
The longer I stare at her, the more I become aware of the attraction I started feeling the instant I laid eyes on her after all these years.
When we lived in Verona, she was just Rachel’s best friend, but now that we’re older things feel different.
Christ, it’s been a long while since I’ve felt attracted to a woman. I’ve been too busy working my ass off to think about dating.
And now is not the time either.
“Thank you, Nova,” I say, my tone a little hoarse from the unexpected emotion she’s stirring in me.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I was going to make myself some anyway,” she replies as she brings the mugs to the living room.
“I mean, thank you for being here.”
She takes her seat again before meeting my eyes. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”