Chapter 15 Easton
Easton
Carrying Rachel into the house, I head straight for the nearest couch, where I carefully lay her down.
Lainey sits beside Rachel and lies over her chest, then starts to cry hard.
Rachel brushes her palm over the back of Lainey’s head as she breaks down as well, and in one of the darkest moments of our lives, we’re all at a loss for words, forced to face the harsh reality that awaits us.
I say one of the darkest because I know the worst is still to come.
Needing comfort, I move closer to Nova, who looks utterly lost. I wrap my arms around her and grip her hard to my chest while I bury my face in her hair, needing all the comfort I can get from her.
When she hugs me back, my body shudders, and I struggle to fight the tears that are threatening to fall.
If I begin to cry, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop, so I use all the strength I have to rein in my emotions.
Instead of breaking down, Nova’s hold on me tightens, and she whispers, “I’m here for you. We’ll get through this. Somehow.”
I nod because we have no choice but to power through the hell. There’s no way around it.
When Lainey seems to calm down, I pull away from Nova.
I crouch and place my hand on Lainey’s back. “Let’s make your mom more comfortable.”
“I’ll get her pajamas,” Nova says before rushing off toward the stairs.
“Will you get a bottle of water?” I ask Lainey.
Even though she nods and walks to the kitchen, she keeps looking at Rachel as if she’s afraid her mother will up and vanish any second.
I turn my attention to my sister, and seeing how weak she is stomps all over my already-crushed heart.
Keeping my tone gentle, I ask, “How do you feel?”
She tries to smile, but the fear on her face makes it goddamn impossible. “I’m okay.”
Christ.
I sit down beside her, and bracing my forearm above her head, I lean in close and say, “You don’t have to be strong for us. All that matters right now is you, Rach. Don’t hide your feelings from us. If you need to be angry, then be angry. If you need to break, then break. We are all here for you.”
I haven’t noticed Nova’s come back until she says, “I think we should all just scream our heads off.”
I sit up to give her a what-the-hell look, but Rachel begins to nod.
Lainey brings the bottle of water, and wanting her to be prepared, I ask, “Are you going to scream with your mom and aunt?”
She nods.
“On three,” Nova says. “One. Two. Three.”
When they all let out heartbreaking screams, I almost close my eyes as the most intense wave of sorrow hits me, but my gaze is locked on my sister as her voice gives out and sobs rip from her.
Lainey throws herself over Rachel, and I quickly place my hand on her back in an attempt to comfort her.
I turn my attention to Nova, and I watch as her breath hitches, but again, she somehow reins in her emotions.
Rachel is the next to calm down, but Lainey remains inconsolable.
I pull my niece onto my lap and begin to rock her gently while murmuring, “It’s okay, sweetheart. Shhh . . . it’s okay.”
Nova glances at us. “Do you mind leaving the room so I can help Rachel change into her pajamas?”
With Lainey in my arms, I climb to my feet and walk to the sliding doors. Stepping out onto the veranda, I take a seat on one of the chairs and hold Lainey while I just stare out over the garden, not taking in any of the scenery.
Rachel is going to die, and there’s nothing any of us can do to stop it.
My mind races, and I think about pulling Lainey out of school so she can spend as much time with her mother as possible before the end. Or maybe I should let her go to school so she gets a breather from all the heartache that’s going to fill the house.
Fuck. What will be best for Lainey?
Keeping one arm locked around my niece, who’s stopped crying and is lying against my chest, I pull my phone out of my pocket and send Sylvia a text to find the best therapist for Lainey who’s willing to make house calls.
I feel Lainey would be more comfortable here at home than in some random office.
Not even a minute after sending the text, she replies.
Sylvia: I’ll find a therapist ASAP. How are you all holding up?
Easton: Not good. The tumor is growing fast, and we’ve been told to prepare for the end.
Sylvia: I’m so sorry, Easton. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.
Easton: Thanks.
I tuck the phone back into my pocket, then hear Nova say, “You can come in.”
Lainey scrambles off my lap and runs into the house. As I climb to my feet, my eyes lock with Nova’s.
There’s a worried expression on her face as she asks, “Do you need anything?”
“A hug,” I mutter as I walk toward her.
She meets me halfway and doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around my waist. Her hand brushes up and down my back, her touch soothing. I let out a heavy breath while folding my body around hers.
Holding Nova, a calmness begins to slowly settle inside me, and it feels as if she’s passing some of her strength to me. I press my mouth to her temple and keep it there, taking deep breaths of her soft floral scent.
She pulls her arms back, and just as I think I’m not ready to let go, she moves up on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around my neck.
Her hand settles on the back of my head, and it feels as if she’s trying to cradle me to her.
Then she kisses my jaw, and for a split second, everything feels a little brighter.
“I’m here for you,” she whispers before giving me another kiss. “I’ll always be here for you.”
I lift my head to look at her, and when our eyes lock, I swear I see love shining in her green ones.
Warmth pours into my heart from the way she’s looking at me, and it makes me want to hold onto her and never let go.
She moves her palms to the sides of my jaw and says, “You can lean on me. Okay?”
The urge to kiss her builds in me, but instead of claiming her mouth, I nod. My voice is rough from all the emotions warring in my chest. “Thanks, Nova.”
She pulls away from me and glances through the open sliding doors into the house. “Do you think I should make something to eat?”
I shake my head. “We can think about food later.”
When she heads toward the open doors, I follow her into the house.
Lainey’s lying beside Rachel, who gives us a weak smile. “I think . . . she’s asleep.”
“Should I move her?” I ask.
My sister shakes her head. “I want . . . to hold . . . her.”
Fuck, the slur in her speech is killing me.
I move closer and sit down on the side of the coffee table. Keeping my voice soft so I don’t wake Lainey, I ask, “How’s your vision?”
“Blur . . . comes . . . and . . . goes.” She sucks in a deep breath. “I want to . . . talk . . . about my . . . funeral.”
God help me.
Nova comes to sit on the floor beside my legs and gives Rachel a loving smile. “What do you want us to do?”
“Fireworks.” Rachel lets out a soft chuckle, which makes Lainey curl deeper into her. “Cremate me . . . and shoot my . . . ashes . . . up in fireworks. I want to go . . . out . . . with a . . . bang.”
A sad smile tugs at the corner of my mouth as I nod. “Whatever you want.”
“I’ve made a . . . video. Watch it before . . . the fireworks.” She takes another breath, and when she talks again, there’s no slur, “I only want the three of you at my funeral.” Her gaze widens, and she looks at Nova. “Get the camera from my bedroom so you can record me. Hurry!”
Nova runs out of the living room, and Rachel locks eyes with me. “I want a day where I have all my lasts. Help me walk. Have Nova help me shower. I want to eat a steak you made on the grill and to drink a glass of our most expensive wine.”
I make mental notes of everything.
“I want to see the ocean and watch Lainey build a sandcastle.”
I nod. “When?”
“Tomorrow.”
I start to shake my head, saying, “You’re not dying tomorrow.”
She gives me a pleading look. “I can have another seizure that might make it impossible for me to do any of those things.”
“Okay,” I agree. “I’ll arrange everything for tomorrow.”
Nova comes flying down the stairs. “It’s recording!”
Rachel shakes Lainey. “Wake up, baby.”
“Mommy?” my niece asks as she lifts her head.
“Listen to me, sweetheart. Quickly,” Rachel hurries to get the words out before the slur returns.
Lainey sits upright, then my sister gives all her attention to her daughter.
“I love you so much! You are the greatest joy of my life. Things might get bad for a little while, and after I leave, Uncle Easton and Nova will take care of you.”
When Lainey begins to cry, Rachel uses her left hand to wipe her daughter’s tears away.
“And even when I die, I’ll still be here.
” She places her palm over Lainey’s heart.
“Right here forever and always. Okay? I’ll watch over you every second of every day.
I’ll cry with you when your heart hurts, and I’ll laugh with you when you’re happy.
I love you so, so, so very much, Lainey. ”
“I love you, too, Mommy,” my niece sobs. “Does it hurt?”
Rachel shakes her head. “Not at all. When I go, it will be like falling asleep.”
Lainey lets out another sob. “What happens to you afterward?”
“I’ll go to be with the angels, where I can watch over you.”
Her left hand cups Lainey’s cheek. “I love you unconditionally, Lainey. You are the most beautiful, bravest, and smartest daughter ever. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. You deserve the world.” Rachel takes a deep breath. “I . . . love you.”
Her hand slips away from Lainey’s cheek, and she stares blankly ahead of her for a few seconds.
“Shit.” I grab hold of Lainey and move her off the couch right before Rachel starts to seize.
“Mommy!” my niece cries.
Nova drops the camera and grabs hold of Lainey before rushing out onto the veranda with her.
I lean over my sister. “I’m here. You’re okay. I’m here, Rach.” Digging my phone out of my pocket I hurry to find the number for the doctor and press dial.
“Dr. Barlow,” he answers.
“It’s Easton Rowe. Rachel is having another seizure.”
“Make sure there’s nothing near her that can hurt her.”
“Done.”
“There’s nothing you can do but wait for it to pass. When she’s coherent again, give her the prescribed medicine.”
“That’s it?” I bark.
“Unfortunately, there’s nothing else we can do. I’ve contacted hospice, and they’ll send a nurse out first thing tomorrow morning. The only thing I can suggest is that you bring Rachel to the hospital where we can make her comfortable and care for her until the end.”
“No. I want her to stay at home.”
“Okay. I wish there was something we could do, Mr. Rowe, but it’s out of our hands now.”
“Thank you,” I bite the words out through a clenched jaw. I end the call, forced to watch as Rachel shakes uncontrollably. When it finally stops, I feel completely defeated. I brush her hair out of her face and whisper, “Rach? Can you hear me?”
She blinks a couple of times, and when she tries to talk, her words are garbled. Tears flood her eyes as they lock on me.
I get up, and finding the prescription bag on the island, I tear it open and look through the bottles for the right medicine. I shake two pills into my palm and hurry back to the couch.
Placing my hand behind her head, I bring my palm to her mouth and feed her the pills. I quickly grab the bottle from the table and take off the cap so she can have a few sips of water.
“It will help with the seizures,” I say.
I lean over her again and brush my hand over her hair as I lock eyes with her.
“I love you, Rachel. Everything I’ve ever done has been for you, and I wouldn’t change a single thing.
” Tears blur my sight, and I blink them away.
“I will give Lainey the world and make sure she never forgets you.”
She nods, then manages to say, “Lasts.”
“We’ll do everything tomorrow. Just give the medicine time to work.”
She nods again before her lashes drift shut, and it looks like she’s fallen asleep.
“Is it safe?” I hear Nova ask.
“Yes.”
She comes back into the living room with Lainey, and panic laces her words. “How’s Rachel?”
“I’ve given her medicine, so she’ll sleep for a while.”
I only realize it’s getting late because Nova switches on the light in the kitchen. “I’ll make Lainey a sandwich. She hasn’t eaten all day.”
“Good idea.”
What a fucking day.
I get up, and grabbing a blanket that’s draped over the back of the couch, I spread it out over Rachel.
When I turn around, Lainey’s just standing and staring at her mother. I take her hand and lead her to the kitchen, where I grip hold of her hips to set her down on a stool.
Taking a seat beside her, I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and ask, “How are you doing?”
Her bottom lip juts out. “My heart hurts.”
“I know, sweetheart.” I lean closer and press a kiss on her forehead. Worried about what this will do to Lainey, I ask, “Do you want to stay with Porsha and her family for a little while?”
She quickly shakes her head. “I don’t want to miss any time with Mommy.”
Unable to hide the brutal reality that’s become our lives, I say, “Mommy will only get sicker until she passes away. I’m not sure you should see that.”
“I’m staying,” she snaps, then her face crumbles. “Don’t send me away. Please, Uncle Easton.”
I pull her onto my lap. “Okay. I won’t. Shh. It’s okay.”
Nova gives me a compassionate look, then says, “I’ll make sure to leave the room with Lainey if something happens that she shouldn’t see.”
I nod. “Thanks, Nova.”
Holding my niece, I glance at the couch, not sure how we’re all going to get through the next few weeks.
That’s if we’re lucky. We might only have days left.