Thirty-Eight Theo
Thirty-Eight
THEO
T his town is a magical place.
I didn’t get it at first. It was just a nice old town with a couple of famous theatres and a very famous former resident. And it remains all of those things. But while you’re looking at them, Stratford-upon-Avon sneaks under your skin and straight into your heart.
Being here all summer has been a revelation, my fondness for the place growing with each passing week. I love the people here, the atmosphere and the light. Meeting Lilia and her Boys started it, but if I’m honest, I longed to belong here way before that.
It was Lucie that started it.
I didn’t want to admit it for a long time, because I knew it would give her the power to shatter my heart. But I can’t escape it: the day I saw her performing as Kate in the Birthplace’s garden, I fell for her. It was what pushed me out of the audience and onto the stage. I told myself it was a last-ditch attempt to prove to my agent I was worth his while, but it was Lucie who made it happen.
I’m going to tell her tonight, after we’ve had dinner with her friends. Because this isn’t just a summer fling for me: this is the real deal.
No matter what happens in my career, I want Lucie beside me. It’s stronger than the love I felt for Amy Jo – and I’m not just saying that because it’s new and exciting. The connection we have, the way she makes me feel – it’s deeper and more profound than anything I’ve experienced before.
I chuckle as I pass the bronze statue of young Will outside the Royal Shakespeare Theatre. Six weeks in Stratford-upon-Avon and I’ve gone all lyrical. What has The Bard done to me?
I feel the magic of the town on this warm, sunny evening: the possibility and the history, as if they’re infused into the air around me. People are heading out for dinner and drinks and there’s a relaxed, happy atmosphere over everything. I’m going to enjoy dinner with Cass and Finn and then I’ll take Lucie home and tell her exactly what she means to me. I’m concerned I haven’t told her enough, especially with September just days away, bringing the first change to our lives since we got together.
I don’t want her to think for even a second that things between us will change as I move into rehearsals for Hamlet . They won’t. I won’t. I know how I feel.
I love her.
I never thought I’d say those words again after what Amy Jo did, but now I can’t help myself. I want everyone to know. But first I want to tell Lucie. She’s stolen my heart and I am hers, no matter what, until the end of time.
Bloody hell, Theo , what’s happened to you ?
We’ve arranged to meet Cass and Finn at Verona , a sweet little bistro that looks out over the river. I haven’t been there yet but I know several of Lilia’s Boys love it. I can tell them all about it tomorrow, I think, as I reach its fairy-light-bedecked, wisteria-covered Cotswold stone frontage. I might even persuade Lucie to come and meet them. I’ve told them so much about her I know they’ll welcome her immediately.
I like thinking like this: planning for friendships that stretch beyond my six weeks in the town. Planning for life beyond this job.
Cass waves at me from a table near the back of the bistro and I head over to join her. Finn is there already, but there’s no sign of Lucie.
‘She’s running late,’ Cass says before I ask. ‘She’ll be here in about ten minutes.’
‘Time to get a round in, then.’ I grin. ‘What’s everyone having?’
I’m at the bar when I see Lucie hurrying in. She looks as gorgeous as ever and I raise my hand to wave at her, but she doesn’t see me, heading straight to the table. Strange. I thought I would be visible from the entrance.
Turning back to the bar, I pay the barman and carry the tray of drinks between the packed tables. When I reach ours, Lucie and Cass are deep in conversation, Finn pointedly staring at his phone.
‘Your drinks, my friends!’ I say, handing out the glasses. ‘I got you red wine, Lu, that Malbec you love.’ I move to kiss her but she ducks out of the way.
O-kay …
She’s probably tired. We didn’t stop working on the gelato bike today. My muscles are sore now, so Lucie’s must be worse, with all that cycling.
‘Let’s order,’ Cass says – a little rushed, it feels. ‘I’m starving.’
‘Amen to that.’ Finn claps his hands and grabs a menu.
‘Can’t wait to find out.’ I smile back, looking at Lucie. ‘What would you recommend?’
‘It’s all good.’
‘But you must have favourites?’
‘It’s best you discover your own.’
Cass and Finn are watching now, neither of them smiling. What’s going on?
‘Right, so what shall I get you?’
‘Go ahead and order yours.’ Lucie downs her red wine. ‘I’m not hungry.’
Thrown, I force my eyes back to the menu. I don’t know what’s happening here but I’m hungry, we’re out with Lucie’s friends and we’re going to damn well have fun.
Cass and Finn make conversation over us both, their pleasantries strained. Between Lucie and me the temperature has dropped, the noise of the busy bistro suddenly muted.
The food arrives, I eat and Lucie doesn’t. Her friends’ attempts at light-hearted chat begin to stall and we’re left with awkward gaps of painful silence. An hour passes and nothing improves. And in the middle of it all, I’m trying to work out what changed between the smiling, kissable woman in Cheerily’s courtyard and the bundle of contained fury beside me.
‘So, Hamlet ,’ Finn urges, his question delivered through a visibly teeth-gritted smile. ‘Are you ready for rehearsals to start?’
‘Can’t wait,’ I reply, keeping my tone light despite the rock of frustration now resident in my stomach. ‘And with Lucie rehearsing Tempest next door it will be great.’
‘I’m not,’ she snaps.
As one, we turn to her.
‘You’re not what?’ I ask.
She doesn’t look up from her wine glass. ‘Doing Tempest . I turned it down.’
There is no way she’s serious. ‘What?’
‘That’s why I was late. Greg was trying to talk me out of refusing the role.’
‘ No , Lu, why?’ It’s clear this is news to Cass, too, whatever else she knows.
‘It wouldn’t work.’ She lifts her gaze and I don’t like what I see. There’s no love, no regard, just accusation. What have I done? ‘Whatever was planned …’
‘Call him back. Blame nerves, say you’ve changed your mind.’
‘No, Cass, it’s done. Everything’s done.’ She blinks and reaches for her bag. ‘I’m going to go.’
‘Stay,’ Finn says. ‘You haven’t had dessert yet – or anything to eat.’
‘I’m sorry, I need to go.’ She pulls a ten-pound note from her purse and leaves it on the table. ‘For the wine.’
Cass and Fin protest but Lucie’s already pushing her way through the packed bistro. I reach for my wallet but Finn holds up a hand. ‘Go after her.’
I don’t need more of an invitation.
She’s already yards away when I emerge on the street, powering ahead and not looking back. I jog after her, surprised when I draw level and she kicks up her speed.
‘Lucie! Lu – what the hell was that?’
‘That was me leaving.’
‘I saw that. Why? And what’s this bollocks about turning down Tempest ?’
‘I’m not right for the part.’
‘For Miranda? You’ve been playing her all summer. Effortlessly. And it’s won you a legion of fans …’
‘They’re not my fans.’ She forges ahead again, face resolutely trained on the road ahead: away from me.
‘What’s going on?’ I duck around her to force her to stop. ‘Talk to me.’ She glares at me and tries to push past, but I block her again. ‘I’m not leaving until you talk to me.’
Now she stops, facing me down. I haven’t seen Lucie like this since our first meeting but this time it’s worse because this angry opponent is the woman I love.
‘ Make love to the girl. Get the audience swooning …’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘ Keep that chemistry coming. She’s clearly besotted with you …’
‘You’re not making any sense.’
‘I thought you’d remember, considering who you had those conversations with.’
She moves to skirt round me but this time I catch her arm, instantly letting it fall when I see her expression.
‘I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to grab you. Talk to me, Lu. I don’t know what I’ve done.’
She folds her arms. ‘You don’t, do you? That makes it worse than anything.’
‘You’re scaring me.’
‘Oh, am I? Scaring the poor star? What will your fans say?’
That’s it: I am done with these games. ‘Lucie, what’s going on? And don’t fob me off with weird little replies. You were fine earlier: you hate me now. What’s changed?’
She takes a step back from me, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. ‘You lied to me. You made me think you cared, that everything that’s happened with us was real. But you lied.’
‘I’ve never lied to you.’
She gives an ironic laugh. ‘That’s all you’ve been doing.’
‘How? How do you figure that? Everything between us is real, Lucie.’ I slam my hand to my heart. ‘ This is real. I love you.’
‘Don’t.’
‘I love you, Lu. I could never lie to you.’
‘I’ve seen the texts,’ she hisses.
‘What texts?’
‘The texts between you and Greg. The ones that urge you to kiss me in public, to make me believe that you care for me. The one congratulating you for doing the deed …’
Shit.
She’s seen Greg’s texts. The ones I tried to sidestep – and the last one so horrific I deleted it immediately. But if she’s seen them from his phone she wouldn’t know … My mouth drops open as truth slams me.
‘I never agreed to …’
‘Then why reply? I’m looking forward to the challenge … Wait till they see what we’ve planned – ticket sales guaranteed …’
‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘What we planned? That only works if I was in on it. Which I blatantly wasn’t. It was what you and Greg planned to push sales of Hamlet . And the offer of the role in Tempest ? Just an excuse to milk it for the crowds.’
‘I wasn’t talking about me and Greg, I was talking about me and you …’ I’m flailing now, panic jumbling my words, my brain awash with thoughts I don’t want to consider. How does she know? Did Greg tell her? And if he did, why? ‘You can’t turn down that part. It’s yours. You earned it.’
‘By being seduced by you?’
‘No. No , Lu! I can’t believe you’d think me capable of …’
‘But you did.’ She’s crying now, every tear an accusation I can’t answer. ‘And the worst thing? I had to find out from Duncan Harrow. From the person who’s scuppered my career at every turn.’
‘Duncan? How did he … ?’
‘Does it matter?’ She’s backing away from me, slipping away, and I don’t know how to stop it happening. ‘I won’t be played, Theo, not by you or anyone else. I might not have much of a career, but I refuse to throw what little I still have at the feet of someone who would set me up. And I refuse to be with someone who would let that happen.’
‘You have to believe me: I never agreed to Greg’s plan.’
‘What does it matter? He thinks you did and you didn’t contradict him.’
She’s right, isn’t she?
I spent so long hedging my bets, unwilling to counter Greg’s words – and why? Because I was scared of offending him. Because I was protecting my own career. I should have fought for Lucie. But I didn’t.
‘Tell me how to make this right,’ I plead, fear creeping into my words.
She looks at me like she can’t bear to see what’s in front of her. ‘You can’t.’
And then she walks away.
And I let her.
How have I let this happen?