Chapter 4
4
Amy
Everything was awful.
Everything hurt.
Especially her head.
And her mouth felt like something had died in it.
She recognized the symptoms as she clawed her way out of sleep, trying to wake up. Her brain was buzzing. Something important had happened, and she felt like shit. Why was she thinking so slowly?
Oh.
Oh.
Today was supposed to be the first day of her married life with Jeremy.
It was still the first day of his married life… with Noelle.
The shame, the embarrassment from yesterday, welled up inside her. She wasn’t a wife today. She hadn’t been a bride yesterday. Everyone knew. Everyone had seen what she’d suspected. She’d told herself she was imagining how close Noelle and Jeremy had gotten. Had believed Jeremy when he’d told her that he and Noelle were planning something special for her. Had believed Noelle when she’d said she and Jeremy were just good friends.
And now everyone, everyone , knew what a fool she was. Knew what a failure she was.
If I got dumped yesterday, why am I in bed with someone?
Amy’s eyes popped open as she felt the heat of the body beside her naked body. That got her awake and searching her memories from the day before, her mouth somehow going even dryer when she saw the dark head of hair and handsome face and recognized Zach. And did not recognize the bedroom.
Oh my God, I slept with Zach.
How the hell did I end up in bed with Zach?
Did he and Kincaid have a fight? Did I sleep with both of them?
If I slept with both of them, where is Kincaid?
Her thoughts had gone from moving like molasses to running through her aching head like a freight train. She lifted her hands to press her fingers against her temples, practically whimpering as she tried to make it stop.
Tried to remember.
Jeremy and Noelle’s call.
Her mom finding out she was kinky.
Her parents taking care of everything—and God, she hoped her dad didn’t know she was kinky—while she hid away with her friends and didn’t have to face anyone. How she was ever going to face anyone ever again, she didn’t know.
At least she didn’t have to face work yet since she was supposed to be on her honeymoon this week.
Focus. How did I end up in bed with Zach?
Vodka.
Carolyn had brought in vodka. And she’d drank and drank… and Kincaid had helped her out of her dress, and she’d felt like a really fucking terrible person because, for just a moment, she’d pictured him helping her out of her dress for an entirely different reason while Zach watched them.
Oh God… had she done this? Had she thrown herself at them, and they’d given her a pity fuck because she was that pathetic?
Her gorge rose. She was going to throw up.
No… wait.
Reaching down, she breathed out a sigh of relief as she realized she wasn’t totally naked. She had on underwear. Her vagina was not sore in any way. It did not feel like she’d been fucked. And with two men, she would feel it, right?
Logic reasserted itself.
Neither Kincaid nor Zach would ever touch her while she was wasted drunk. Neither of them was that kind of guy.
She was just really freaking slow this morning.
But she was in their bed, she assumed, in their room. Blinking, she looked around. It looked like a main bedroom and not a guest bedroom. Huge bed and she was in the center of it. There was an empty space beside her and a pillow with an indent, which was probably where Kincaid had slept. Big, dark, masculine-looking wooden furniture. Two dressers. Several doors, which probably led to closets or maybe a bathroom, or both, and one must lead out to the hallway.
Amy didn’t remember which one. She couldn’t remember anything after Kincaid helped get her out of her dress. Which was extremely disconcerting. She’d never gotten blackout drunk before.
I’ve also never had my groom elope with one of my friends on my wedding day before, either.
The door directly across from the bed started to open, and Amy squeaked, pulling the sheets up to cover her breasts. Which was dumb because Kincaid had definitely seen her boobs in the club and had probably seen them last night, even though she couldn’t remember it.
He appeared in the doorway, grey sweatpants hanging from his hips, a tray in his hands, looking like he’d stepped right out of a viral internet video. Amy did her best to focus her eyes on his face, not on his bare, muscular chest and abs, and definitely not on the sweatpants that were clinging to him. A slow smile moved over his lips.
“You’re awake. How are you feeling?”
“Okay… um.” She reached up, pressing her fingertips to her lips because the smell of the food hitting her made her stomach churn in a painful manner. Her vagina might not be sore, but her stomach muscles were.
“Do you need to throw up again?” Kincaid asked, coming over to put the tray down on the nightstand beside his side of the bed. There was bacon, eggs, biscuits, orange juice, and coffee. Also, a pill bottle.
She didn’t know what she wanted first—the coffee or the headache medicine.
But there was something she needed to ask first.
“Again?” Please no…
His sympathetic gaze made her want to shrivel into a tiny ball.
“You don’t remember?” His tone was gentle and nonjudgmental, but she still felt the shame wash over her. Because she didn’t remember. Because he’d definitely seen her throw up. Which meant Zach had, too.
She wanted to sink through the bed, into the mattress, and just never come out again. If only that was possible.
“No. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.” One side of his lips hitched up. “But that’s how you ended up in here, in case you were wondering. The guest bedroom should be ready for you again by tonight.”
“Oh, no.” Amy buried her face in her hands. She’d thought she couldn’t get any more mortified, but apparently, there was still room on the scale. If only she could make herself disappear. She’d not only gotten so drunk they’d had to take care of her, she’d thrown up all over their guest bed, so they’d been forced to let her sleep in theirs. “Oh my God, I am so sorry.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Zach was awake, though his voice was still thick with sleep. Amy cringed because now she had to face two of them. He pushed himself up beside her in the bed, stretching and yawning. “We knew it might happen. You said you were nauseous the whole way over here. We had a bucket and everything… you just… missed a little.”
Tears sparked in her eyes, and she gritted her teeth against the little sob that wanted to escape. She didn’t want them to feel like they had to comfort her on top of everything else.
“I should go.”
“You should take this.” Something cold nudged her shoulder, making her jerk, and she looked up to see that Kincaid was holding out the orange juice and two little white pills. The stern look on his face made her tongue tied, even though she wanted to argue with him. “You’re not going anywhere until you’ve had something to drink and eat. You need to rehydrate. Then you’re going to take a shower and brush your teeth. Sam is bringing over some clothes for you, then we’re meeting everyone at your… at… the house to grab your things.”
“I… oh.” Amy was about to at least try to argue when some of her memories from yesterday started to trickle back in at his words. She’d insisted that she wanted to be out of Jeremy’s house today. She didn’t want to wait. At least she hadn’t then. Now, faced with the fact that she was probably going to be living with the two men whose bedroom she was currently in, she wasn’t so sure.
To give herself some time to think and try to remember more, she took the orange juice and the pills from Kincaid, who smiled approvingly at her. That smile sent warmth flooding through her body in a way that made her blush, and she quickly popped the pills into her mouth and raised the glass of OJ to her lips to try to hide it. Behind her, Zach yawned again before reaching out to rub her shoulder. She felt the bed shift as he got up.
“Morgan and Asad volunteered to get boxes on their way over because there’s a place by them that always has a bunch that people can pick up. Carolyn has to work, but Marissa said she would come help. Your mom and dad are going to meet us there with food for everyone who is coming to help.” Kincaid rattled off the list of things that were happening like he was ticking little boxes in his head of how they were going to take care of everything. “On our way over, we’ll stop by the U-Haul to get the truck I rented. We’ve also invited everyone who is helping over for dinner tonight.”
Tears welled up again, for an entirely different reason this time.
When was the last time anyone had taken care of her like this? Made it so that she didn’t have to think about a single thing? Jeremy always expected her to plan everything. To arrange everything. Every single guy she’d ever dated had expected that of her. Even the ones who asked her out first never just planned the first date. She always told herself they were being respectful, making sure she had input when they didn’t really know her that well, but getting to know her better had never resulted in them doing more planning. The most Jeremy had ever planned was the proposal, and he’d gone for a classic—the ring in a glass of champagne during dinner at a fancy restaurant. Not exactly tailored to her.
Kincaid had taken care of organizing everything, renting the truck, and had a thank you planned for the helpers. And there were so many helpers coming to assist. It made her feel warm and fuzzy all over, despite everything. Amy knew she sucked at asking for help—she’d rather just do things on her own—so to know that everyone was just jumping in… it made her feel guilty and relieved and so loved, all at the same time.
Yesterday, while she’d been getting drunk, she’d been dreading having to figure out how she was going to get all her stuff out of Jeremy’s house and to Zach and Kincaid’s. Part of her had also been wondering if it would be smarter to go live with one of her girlfriends… but honestly, she wanted Zach. Not like, want wanted, but she felt safest thinking of being near him.
Plus, Zach would be preoccupied with Kincaid. They’d just gotten back together. Hopefully, she’d be able to just exist in the background while they focused on each other. If she went to Morgan or Sam’s, both of whom were in settled relationships, they’d end up focusing on her. And if she went to her parents while they went on their trip, not only would she not be able to go to work, but she would be entirely alone with nothing but her own thoughts.
Which sounded horrible.
If her parents canceled their trip so she wasn’t alone, she’d feel even worse than she already did.
Zach and Kincaid’s place was the best solution now that she was able to think through it again soberly.
“I’m going to take a shower, then I’ll be ready to go,” Zach said. Amy glanced at him. Unlike Kincaid, he was wearing nothing but boxers. He sniffed the air and shot an accusing look at Kincaid, who was rounding the side of the bed now that he was satisfied Amy was eating. “Where’s my coffee in bed?”
Kincaid just chuckled as he walked over to smack Zach’s ass.
“If I brought you coffee in bed, you’d never get out of it,” he said, turning from spanking Zach toward the door in one smooth motion. “Yours is waiting for you in the kitchen when you’re out of the shower.”
Zach grinned at him and headed to the door that Amy now knew led to the bathroom. She’d have to find another one to use soon because she needed to pee, but… coffee first. And time to gather herself.
She felt guilty for sitting in their bed, which she’d invaded, eating breakfast while they weren’t even there. On the other hand, it would probably be more awkward if they were unless they were eating, too, and it sounded like Kincaid didn’t make that an option for Zach.
Food helped settle her stomach, strangely enough, and the coffee was doing its job waking her up. Her head was starting to hurt less. So, physically, she was on her way up, and emotionally… emotionally she was in a million different places.
Hurt. Disappointed. Shamed.
Humiliated.
She hated knowing that everyone she cared about knew what a failure she was. Not just at failing to get married, but failing at picking out a good man to marry.
Yeah, Jeremy was the jerk who’d decided to elope with her bridesmaid on what was supposed to be their wedding day, but she was the dumbass who’d thought marrying him was a good idea in the first place. She was the one who’d missed all the signs leading up to the wedding that things weren’t as they were supposed to be. She was the one who’d ignored all the red flags he’d waved in her direction.
She knew there would be some people who were wondering what was so wrong with her, what she had done that Jeremy felt like it was okay to leave her that way.
She was pretty sure he’d be telling everyone that she’d cheated soon enough. But she hadn’t. She never would have.
So, why did she still feel so guilty?
Quietly eating, listening to Zach in the shower, she knew her conscience wasn’t entirely clear.