Chapter 14
Never trust anyone who spells gonorrhea right the first time.
— Quinn to Quaid
QUINN
The carpet between my desk and the door was visibly worn, and that wear had happened in the last two hours as I waited for news about the warrant that was served to Costas .
My stomach was in knots, and the silence on the other end of the line was starting to make me sick.
I hadn’t gotten a call from anyone.
Not my dad.
My brothers.
My team.
I had literally been walking the same path for the last couple of hours as I waited.
The doors of the office banged open, and my entire team filed in, with a furious looking Elliette and Atlas following up the rear.
Atlas had been there because I couldn’t.
Elliette had joined the team as a last-minute addition that I was now regretting as I watched my brother peel away from her the moment that they entered the room.
“ What happened?” I asked, addressing everybody.
“ What didn’t fuckin’ happen?” Atlas snarled as he glared across the room at Elliette , who was being suspiciously quiet considering she liked to talk everyone’s ear off.
My dad came in the room next, and his eyes swept the entire room, landing on Elliette . “ My office. Now .”
I stilled, surprised at the tone in my father’s voice.
“ What happened?” I repeated.
Elliette skittered away, not making eye contact, and the horrified gut feeling that’d been plaguing me since they’d left pulsed.
“ Tell him,” my father snarled at Boseman as he left the room.
Boseman rubbed his eyes with one hand and then pulled away, looking at me with regret.
Then he told me what happened.
“ I’m sorry, but what?”
“ We hurt the girl,” my senior officer, my right-hand man, said. “ Ameer got the door open with the ram, and the girl was coming out with a packed bag. She was caught with the door, and then she was knocked backward about five feet.”
The visual that gave me made the bile churn in my stomach. “ Is she okay?”
Nobody answered me, but Assman started to speak.
“ Then Elliette went all fuckin’ nutso on her and slammed her back into the ground, causing the cut on her forehead to open up more,” Assman said, sounding pissed as hell.
Well , he wasn’t anywhere near as mad as I was.
“ She did what?” I asked.
“ She cuffed her when she tried to get up and save a plate that her grandmother made,” Assman said. “ She was screaming about her grandmother’s plates, and not about how she was being brutalized.”
I closed my eyes as horror washed over me.
A long time ago, before she’d retired, Shayne’s Nonna had made pottery.
When they’d made the move from Italy , only a few of her original pieces had made it over.
Shayne had worshipped those plates.
I swallowed the bile that threatened to come up following that statement.
“ Then what happened?” I rasped, the words feeling like they were burning my throat.
Boseman gave me the rest of the story, almost reluctantly.
“ She’s unhinged,” Assman muttered when Boseman had finished. “ I’ve never seen an officer act like that.”
I looked to my father as he came to stand in the doorway, not knowing what to do.
“ She’s been put on administrative leave…” he paused. “ And I’ll be letting her know as soon as we can find her. She never made it to my office. Came back here, did all the right things, then disappeared when we had a couple of rowdy drunks come in.”
I whipped my head around to stare at Boseman . “ Where is she?”
“ She left,” Boseman hesitated. “ After Assman pissed her off and called her out on her shit.”
“ And why didn’t you call her out on her shit?” I snarled, my extremities literally shaking.
Boseman eyed the exit, and I knew that I was making him uncomfortable.
“ I was dealing with the brother,” he admitted. “ And she didn’t cry out in pain or anything every time Elliette hit her, so I didn’t know what was happening at first. When we came in, I hadn’t even realized that she’d been hit by the door. My sole focus was Costas because he tried to run from me. I was busy subduing him, and only when Costas yelled about us hurting her did I notice that she was on the floor with Elliette .”
Horrified thoughts started to fill me.
When I’d first learned that Shayne couldn’t feel pain, I’d thought it pretty cool. Until the one night we were out to eat, she’d stumbled on a rock, and had started to tip over onto her backside.
I’d caught her, and we’d walked for a bit longer before she said she was having trouble walking. Not because it hurt, but because she kept hearing the bones in her ankle crunch.
Low and behold, after getting her to the hospital to get her ankle checked out, we found out that not only had she hurt herself and didn’t know it—continuing to walk on it for another fifteen minutes—but it was so badly broken that she had to have surgery on it.
From that point forward, I made sure to always be aware of her and her body.
I closed my eyes.
She hadn’t cried out at all as Elliette had assaulted her.
“ She can’t feel pain,” my dad said to Boseman . “ Her not crying out wasn’t because her body wasn’t experiencing pain, it was that her wires are crossed, and she physically can’t ascertain what pain feels like.”
“ I pulled Elliette off of her,” Assman babbled rapidly. “ Then so did Ameer . She wasn’t listening to any of us.”
He was wringing his hands, clearly just as uncomfortable.
“ Where’s Ameer ?” I shifted my neck from side to side, trying to alleviate the tension already building there.
“ With Shayne at the hospital,” Assman crossed his arms over his chest, clearly pissed still. “ I asked him to stay with her.”
“ Hospital .” I tried to steady my breathing, but it was clear that I wasn’t going to accomplish that without laying eyes on her and making sure she was okay.
I drew a deep breath, trying to contain my rage.
Surprise , surprise. It didn’t work.
I gritted my teeth before turning back toward my father. “ I’m leaving for the rest of the day.” I paused in my stride toward my desk and looked at the men in the room one by one. “ Find her,” I growled to no one in particular. “ Before I do.”
“ Understood ,” Dad said. “ It’s already cleared with the chief. You have the next week off.”
I nodded once, then finally collected all my things before heading out the door.
“ Did you at least get what you were looking for?” I heard my father ask carefully.
“ Actually , more than,” Assman admitted. “ That whole entire house was full of drugs. No women, but fuck. The garage was stacked to the goddamn rafters.”
Fuck .
That meant damage control.
No matter how badly I wanted to keep Shayne out of it, she would be implicated just by living there.
Unless Costas threw himself under the bus, that was.
Did I trust him?
No .
But I knew he loved his sister.
She was protected no matter what, whether or not she liked the protection he offered. Costas , down deep, was a good guy. He loved his family. He’d just taken a turn, leading him down a dark and dangerous path when he was young that he hadn’t fought his way out of.
He’d protect her, even if it implicated himself.
But why did he start doing this in the first place? He’d always been very, very careful to keep the dangerous stuff far, far away from her.
Why now?
Maybe when I was done begging Shayne to forgive me, I’d ask him.
I wasn’t expecting her to be laughing when I arrived at the hospital.
But Ameer was very, very personable, and he was hilarious.
If I had to choose anyone to be here right now with her, it would be him. He was a fatherly figure, looked as if he could be knocked down with a feather, and was the most unassuming badass I’d ever met.
Every single suspect we ever encountered underestimated the man.
They didn’t underestimate him for long if they were trying to hurt him in some way, though.
He was very swift in retaliation if needed.
I slowly stepped into the room, unsurprised when the movement caught both of the occupants’ attention.
Ameer stood up, sensing that I needed privacy, and left.
Shayne turned her attention to me and stared, allowing me to take my fill.
She looked like she’d been run over by a truck.
Both of her eyes were blackened. She had multiple contusions on her face, and the fucking bruising was already taking over almost every available inch.
Her hands were marked up with welts, too, looking as if she’d used them to shield herself from an attack.
And , quite frankly, she had.
I was going to murder Elliette with my bare hands.
I didn’t give a good goddamn that she was a woman.
All I cared about was showing her what she’d tried to take from me, then forcing her to watch as I did the same thing to her.
“ Shayne ,” I said softly, reverently.
“ I’m okay,” she lied.
I didn’t like that she was trying to downplay this.
“ I’m so sorry,” I whispered, sounding just as broken as I felt.
She looked down at her lap. “ I had a feeling this was coming.”
“ But not like this,” I said as I forced myself to catalog every single bruise. “ Do you want the lights off?”
Her shoulders slumped. “ I was waiting for the doctor to come back with the results from a test…”
I walked toward her slowly.
“ But for now,” I said as I walked toward the light over her bed, “we don’t have to have them on quite as bright, right?”
I didn’t wait for her agreement. I turned the lights off over her bed, and visibly saw her shoulders wilt.
“ I’m not lying when I say it doesn’t hurt,” she promised.
I knew she wasn’t.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t take care of her even when she didn’t know she needed taken care of.
Then I took the seat next to her bed that Ameer had just occupied and said, “ What did the doctor say?”
She fidgeted with the sheet instead of looking at me as she said, “ Kidney issues. Concussion .”
She wasn’t telling me something.
But before I could ask her about it, she said, “ You don’t have to stay.”
I looked at her like she’d lost her fuckin’ mind. “ I’m staying.”
“ Quinn …” she started, but I cut her off by saying, “ I’m . Staying .”
She swallowed. “ I don’t think…”
“ I don’t think you understand,” I again interrupted her. “ I’m staying. This isn’t something we can argue about, because I’m very, very solid on my next few steps when it comes to you. One , I’m staying. Two , when you do get released, you’ll be coming home with me.”
“ Why ?” she asked forcefully, then sighed. “ That makes me woozy to talk like that.”
I stood up, feeling helpless.
“ Because I want you to be safe,” I replied, easing her back in bed. “ I don’t want you out there alone, without me there to keep you that way.”
She swallowed hard. “ I am nothing to you, Quinn .”
That’s when I lost it myself.
I didn’t raise my voice, however, when it came to my next words.
No , they were all very smooth and even when I said, “ Well , that’s changed.”
She slowly turned her head to look at me.
“ You can’t do that.”
“ I can,” I disagreed. “ I’ll be disregarding any and all attempts to build the wall any higher between us. I’m here. You’re mine. End of discussion. We’re not playing this game anymore. We’re both fucking miserable. If you were where you belonged today, in my goddamn bed, then none of this would’ve happened. You’d have been safe. And I wouldn’t have had to hear that my supposed best friend had assaulted you.”
She scoffed. “ You do realize, right, that she would still be here, trying to break us up. At least now there’s nothing to break up.”
“ Well , she just assaulted the woman I love,” I bluntly stated, not trying to hide how I felt about her. “ As a police officer, she’s held to a higher standard than most. And I don’t care if she was once my friend. She owes it to the citizens of Dallas to treat the population with kindness. What she did today was unbecoming of a DPD officer. Or any officer for that matter.”
Shayne’s poor, blackened eyes turned to me. “ You what?”
“ Which part are you what’n?” I wondered.
I knew which part she was referring to. I just wanted her to say it.
“ The , uh, love part.” She swallowed.
I grumbled under my breath, then stood up and stiffly started to walk around the room, resuming my pacing from earlier.
“ I haven’t stopped loving you since the day I was stupid enough to tell you that the police department came first.” I stopped and turned to stare at her, letting her know the seriousness of my words by holding her gaze. “ I was dumb. Plain and simple. I thought I could scare you away from your brother. It was stupid, and childish. I should’ve had a full conversation with you instead of trying to play the love card, making you choose. I know that wasn’t fair. It’s not easy to step away from your family. I should know better than most. I just… I was so frustrated. Your absolute love for your brother was going to get you in trouble. He was going to bring you down…”
I started my pacing again. “ I guess me leaving you, breaking your heart and mine in the process, still served the purpose I was trying to accomplish—you getting away from your brother. You joined the military, didn’t fight for us at all, and never looked back. I fell on the scraps you offered me over the years like a starving dog. Every time you called, it didn’t matter where I was, or what I was doing, I dropped everything to get to you. Leave in the middle of a shift? Did it. Leave in the middle of dinner with my family? Did it multiple times. Woke up after only thirty minutes of sleep? I’d fuckin’ die for you, so a little less sleep than necessary wasn’t going to kill me.
“ I’ve been trying to get you to give me another chance for what feels like forever now. Every time I bring it up, you shut me down… as you should. I broke something that was integral to our relationship when I left, and I deserve all of this and more. But , for fuck’s sake, Shayne ! You’re the love of my life. And I’m the love of yours. This stops now. Because if I have to go through one more day like today, hearing my team hurt you so badly, I just might lose it on everyone. I’ll go fuckin’ psycho on…”
“ Um , sir?”
We both looked toward the door to see a doctor there, hesitating to come in.
Shit .
“ Do you mind, uh, giving us a few moments?” she requested diplomatically.
I nearly snorted in derision.
Like hell was I leaving her now.
Not after the hellish day I’d had.
Though , her day had been worse, I knew. But my fuckin’ heart couldn’t take another second of her being out of my sight.
“ I’m her fiancé,” I replied stiffly, not about to let some doctor kick me out after what she’d just said.
“ Okay ,” Dr . Kinsler glanced quickly from me to Shayne and back before saying, “ If that’s fine with you, Shayne ?”
I gritted my teeth, but Shayne’s quick reply kept me from lashing out. “ He’s going to find out anyway. He’s a cop.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for the doctor to explain, not bothering to contradict her.
“ Your kidney function is looking very good, considering the trauma sustained during the assault,” Dr . Kinsler started quickly. “ Your concussion should be monitored overnight. You can go home in the morning as long as your levels continue to approve on your kidney function, and you don’t have any issues with your head overnight.” She hesitated. “ As for the other thing we discussed…”
I waited, thinking that what I was about to hear I wasn’t going to like.
Shayne’s shoulders slumped in on themselves, as if she was waiting for news that she knew would break her.
I stepped toward the bed and caught Shayne’s hand in mine, hating myself a little more when I saw all the cuts on her palms.
“ The placental abruption was terminal for the fetus.” She looked like she was swallowing glass as she said those words. “ Right now, the next step is to let nature take its course since you weren’t very far along.”
Shayne’s eyes dropped to her lap.
That’s when the doctor’s words kicked in, allowing my poor brain to catch up.
Fetus ?
Fetus ?
“ You’re pregnant?” I rasped, feeling like I’d just taken a sucker punch right to the solar plexus.
“ Was .” Shayne’s voice cracked, sounding hollow. “ I didn’t know. When we came in…”
I closed my eyes as I licked my lips, trying to make sense of her words.
A feeling of tightening took up a place in my chest, making me feel like I was drowning.
“ You … She …” I stuttered out my words, not able to complete a full sentence.
Pregnant .
She was pregnant .
Was , in past tense.
Because she’d lost the baby.
“ How far along?” I asked, unable to control the anguish in my voice.
The pressure inside my chest was building, and I wanted to fucking scream.
“ Six weeks or so,” the doctor answered. “ I think had this happened when she was further along, it might’ve not been so severe. But …”
I missed whatever else she had to say.
The ringing in my ears was almost too much.
I took a seat beside her, dropped my head to our connected hands, and croaked. “ This is all my fault.”
Numb .
I was numb.
“ It wasn’t,” Shayne tried to make it better, but no amount of assurance from her would change my mind on this.
I’d had a choice yesterday.
I could’ve told her to get out.
I didn’t, because I didn’t want her to look implicated.
And now we were here.
I’d lost my child because I’d made the wrong decision.
I’d gotten Shayne hurt.
I’d …
“ Stop it, right now,” Shayne hissed.
I looked away from her intense stare.
She was right.
I didn’t have time to break down right now.
I didn’t deserve to break down…
Shayne’s palm hit me in the middle of the forehead. “ I said stop!”
I stopped and pulled back, looking at her like she was a mirage.
She’d hit me.
Not that I didn’t deserve…
“ Stop . Listen to the rest,” she ordered.
The rest?
I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.
“ What’s the rest?” I asked.
“ The chance of her ever having a child… it’s likely impossible,” the doctor admitted. “ With the uterine abnormality Shayne has… it’s possible today’s events didn’t have anything to do with her miscarrying. Having a bicornate uterus is something that can be fixed with surgery, however.”
I swallowed. “ What kind of recovery is that?”
“ Not too bad,” she admitted. “ It just depends on how bad you want a child.”
The problem was, I didn’t know how badly I wanted a child with Shayne until I knew that I couldn’t have one.
“ Oh ,” Shayne looked wrecked at the news.
“ Do you happen to have someone who could give us a little more information on this?” I asked.
“ Oh , yes. Actually , my best friend is in today. I’ll go see if she’s available.”
Turns out she was.
When in Rome …
Since we were already here, and there was an OB / GYN in the building, Dr . Kinsler asked Dr . Marroni to come take a look.
I nodded at the doctor when she walked in. “ Oh …”
She looked between me and Shayne , then back to me.
“ We’re triplets, remember?” I reminded her.
Quincy and Quaid had been in to see Dr . Marroni . Hell , I’d just seen her deliver Quincy and Hollis ’ daughter, Dalia , only a few weeks ago. Not to mention, she was Quaid’s wife’s OB as well. And seeing as Quaid’s wife was in there every week, I’d made a couple of appointments with them myself, because Quaid hated her going alone when he was forced to work.
After the near disemboweling of Ellodie a few months ago, there wasn’t much that she was allowed to do on her own—and going to the doctor was one of them. Not just because Quaid was overprotective, though. Ellodie was having issues leaving her home without having minor panic attacks.
That I didn’t blame her for one bit, after what the serial killer doctors had put her through.
She snapped her fingers. “ I should’ve remembered that.”
Shayne looked at me. “ Your family is a little bit of everywhere.”
That they were.